5 minutes

I've been MIA from this space for so long I can't even recap it all!

After Thanksgiving I started working 50+ hours a week because our crunch time at work is now. I write reports for work and while I love that God brought a job to me that is heavy on the writing by the time I was working on my last report yesterday I could barely form a cohesive sentence. I will say that thesaurus.com is my new best friend! My vocabulary has probably tripled over these past few weeks!

Thanksgiving was amazing. I had a work Thanksgiving the Wednesday a week before. I had a family Thanksgiving on the Sunday before and on Thanksgiving we had my Aunt and Uncle and Granny Green over for dinner and Mexican Train.

I ran a 10K race Thanksgiving morning and admittedly I'm a little bummed that my time was not anywhere close to my PR the year before! The following Saturday I had a chance to redeem my time when I ran a Rudolph 10K except the course was a double loop and it was unbelievably hilly! I'm not great with hills and so my time was respectable but not awesome.

After that race I went to my friend Paula's little boys 2nd birthday party. Instead of presents she requested bags of dog food for a foundation that provides food for local dogs whose families are on food assistance programs so the families don't have to give their human food to their fur family.

The rest of Saturday I worked from home.

I can't believe Christmas is next Friday! Even working as much as I have been I've been able to still be consistent with my workouts, for the most part. While there is a part of me that currently wants to go home and consume a few bottles of wine at the end of the day instead I go home and work a little bit more and then go to the gym. Once December wraps up life at work will resume a more normal pace.

Fortunately most of my Christmas shopping was done before Thanksgiving because otherwise I would be scrambling!

The usual craziness of life

Last Saturday during the day I helped with a training class for the organization that I work with that works to fight human trafficking. I've accepted the volunteer coordinator role and I'm excited about it if a little daunted by the responsibility. The training lasted until 1 and I was able to squeeze in a manicure. I got the gel polish and so far it's still holding up. This is an experiment to see how long I can get it to last. Typical manicures last only an hour or 2 before they begin to chip. The gel polish is definitely more long lasting!

Last Saturday night I did a glow run. Here's the deal, if you're a runner, it's not really something you would be interested in. If you have kids and you are looking for something fun to do that gets everyone moving then this is totally something to look into! Initially I was irked at the $10 charge for parking. Once we get there and we were parking in a field I realized they were paying parking attendants and suddenly that $10 was totally worth it!!!

Sunday morning I went to the prayer service at 8. I love that opportunity so much! It's such a blessing to go before it gets crazy busy and worship and pray for what's coming. I was only able to go to the prayer service because my nephew was being baptized in High Point. I left church and met my parents for breakfast and then we made our way up to meet the rest of the family. I love when we can all be together!

After I left my brother and SIL's house I stopped by my friend Margaret's house. I have 2 Margarets and this is the Margaret who has 2 dogs and 5 cats. My other Margaret lives in SC and has 2 children and 1 dog. I love her new house it's truly fabulous!!!

This week I made an effort to get the workouts in! Monday night I attended a class at the gym called TCX, it was SO HARD I wanted to stop after 30 minutes. I think it's the hardest class I've ever done! I did finish it but it was crazy difficult!

Tuesday I got up early and ran 3 miles. I was having dinner with my friend Tiff so I knew I had to get the workout in early! I downloaded an app for my phone to start tracking my food again. I hate tracking food but it's really eye opening to understand where all the extra calories are coming from! I looked up the nutritional information for my favorite extra large DD coffee with cream and sugar, YIKES!!! I realized why I had gained weight instead of lost weight.

Wednesday I went to abs and booty class. I was so tired when I got home and I really didn't want to but I sucked it up and went anyways and of course  I was glad that I did!

Thursday I had a continuing education class for my agents license. I sat beside one of my previous agents. I got to meet the girl whose job I filled and in front of me sat my previous coworker from the Huntersville agency along with the lady who replaced me. The insurance world in Charlotte is very very small!

Thursday I had plans to pick up a friend of mine after I got off work and the place I was picking her up from changed a few times. Ultimately I get a message that hey can you be at such and such address? Well the address was one I knew well. I dated the guy who owns the house. It was odd pulling into the driveway! I met him December 18, 2004 at Thomas St Tavern. He was several years older and I fell head over heels like I usually did for the unavailable bad boys. He just had a birthday this past Sunday but I can't remember exactly how old he is now. I know he's a little older than my ex-husband although not by much. It was one of those odd experiences where in one day lots of my past and current collided! I picked my friend up and we were able to get a 3 mile walk completed. It is so gorgeous here this time of year!

Today I hope to get a run in with Jack. Tomorrow I have a class all day long and then I'm meeting my friend and former coworker for dinner. This time last year I was in Minneapolis eating LOTS of yummy food and exploring the city with Lisa. I had such a great time, I can't believe it's already been a year!!!

Adjusting and Acclimating

This week has been interesting! Monday afternoon I went to a Captives 101 class for my new job. After the class there was a cocktail hour. I met a lot of people and explained that I had been with my company for a week. Mingling is never something I'm great at but I sucked it up and acted like a grown up.

Tuesday morning I woke up early and got a 4 mile run in. I ran a 10K last Saturday and it was hilly and my time was not all that stellar. I have another 10K September 12 so I'm trying to work on my running between now and then.

Tuesday for the rest of the day I was in meetings for the NC Captives Association conference. I am really really excited for my new job! It's so outside the box and fascinating! Tuesday after the meetings there was a pig pickin. The whole pig was there. I like meat a lot but every time I see the animals in trucks, or like I did for this event I contemplate how I could give up meat. It bothers me! I left the evening festivities and swung by the shopping center that has an Off Broadway, Marshalls and Old Navy. I had an idea in my head for my date the next night. I found 2 dresses at Marshalls that I LOVE! Thank you birthday gift cards! Then at ON I found my cute date outfit. At Off Broadway I found my shoes. I  paid way too much for Keds but they work with my outfit and I justify it by the fact that I'll wear them with jeans.

Then as I was headed home I found out that my date wasn't going to happen because legitimate reasons came up. I was disappointed but I have learned that when I keep my focus where it's supposed to be, not on the circumstances, I stay in a much better frame of mind!

I attended the final morning session of the conference. I learned quite a bit about cyber liability. It's quite unnerving! I went to lunch with 2 of my new coworkers. I really like my office it's a very cohesive group!

Last night I made it to abs and booty class at Sassy Girl, which I'm definitely feeling today!

This morning I was up and at the gym and I got my 3 miles in. I went to Dunkin Donuts after my run for an extra large coffee. I was trying to get ready and I kept sweating, coffee after that run might not have been the best idea. I got a fan from the bedroom and that helped! I still had time to go to SC for gas before I had to be at work. I'm getting used to the new time. I thought I would really struggle having to stay until 5 but so far it hasn't been too bad. I met a group of my friends/former coworkers for lunch and caught up with them.

I had a chiropractor appointment after work, I needed it!!! This weekend is the usually run run run. I am learning how to just keep moving. I grab naps when I can!

The week I'm glad is over

Last week is one of those weeks that I'm glad is in the past. Thursday I received an invite from my manager. Back in February my manager told me that a coworker complained that my loud typing was distracting and clearly I was sending non work related emails due to the length of my typing.

I knew that I had been typing posts, as well as emails. I explained to my manager that I had left Daron that week and people had been checking on me but I would let them know to email my personal email. I was very cautious after that.

Tuesday when I received the text message from D I immediately composed an email to the counselor and pastor and expressed that I would be ending the joint counseling. I waited until I calmed down to email D.

That same coworker, who I have no idea who it is, complained to my manager again. Instead of coming to me they throw me under the bus to my manager. This leaves me not feeling so warm and fuzzy about the department that I am in and I will be looking to move out of this particular department sooner rather than later.

I don't want to leave my company, I love my company, I do not love that a coworker threw me under the bus.

I explained to my manager that a friend had been IM'ing me and I would let her know to just contact me out of work. I was not going to explain that I had ended my counseling and allow the reason from before to be my reason again, I just didn't feel like this would be the best way to handle the situation.

Yes I understand that I am at work and required to work. I also realize that I have been doing my work and other people's work and I am doing quite a bit to help out so the fact that I got in trouble for emailing based on the length of my typing really aggravates me.

I have not talked at length about the situation with D. I have done the best I can to keep it out of the office. I know that I should not get in trouble for this again because it's over and done and I won't have reason to send a lengthy email again unless it is work related. I did express to my manager that my emails to agents are picking up and that my emailing will only continue to be more frequent with the more work that I do.

Friday I went in to work and just tried to shake it all off. I went to my meeting on Friday night. Saturday morning I was up early and hit the road to visit my Margs in Greer, SC. I arrived at her house and received a text message from D's mom. It was not a pleasant text. I chose not to respond.

Margs and I took the boys to the farmers market in downtown Greenville, SC and then we spent the rest of the day catching up. I am so very glad that she is back within driving distance!!!

I drove back Sunday for church and then yesterday I just relaxed around the house.

Today was a lovely day off! I took Jack for a run this morning. I had not run in 2 weeks, as of today, and my breathing is still a little challenged from the cold that I had during my CIC class.

I came home showered, took a nap, and then got ready and went to visit Amy and Audra. It was a good visit.

The month of May was a crazy busy month and it looks like June is going to be just as crazy. June 7 I have a race and I'm having lunch with my friend Alicja and it's my Dad's birthday. June 14 I'll have nursery but before that I'll be going to a bead party with Amy's mom at the bead store where Amy works. June 21 I have another race and I think I'm going to a concert. June 22 I'm hopefully going to finally venture out onto a golf course so I can start learning how to play golf. The last weekend in June I'm going to visit my friend Vada.

The weeks are just as busy. Eventually I need to start giving myself a break in the scheduling. I don't mean to get so booked, I just want to do everything because I feel like I missed out on so much these past few years.

I'm struggling, I'm not going to lie. I know that it is a process and I have to just let myself hurt. I chose to marry someone believing that it would just work, and while I think sometimes it can, this time, for me, it didn't work. Life goes on.

injury, shopping, sheets, bugs, cute pictures

This past Monday night I went to my chair fit class. During one of the moves I was supposed to be using my shoulder blades to balance on the chair. Unfortunately for me I did not balance quite right and the chair went out from behind me. I landed on my elbows, on concrete, it hurt! I am sporting bruises on both elbows and today is the first day that I can touch something with my elbow without experiencing shooting pain. No pain, no gain.

Tuesday instead of running I made a trip to Concord Mills to pick up a vinyl mattress cover, and a mattress cover. I went ahead and bought a waterproof matress cover. I want this mattress to last a long time, and I want to make sure that it is protected as possible!

Last night I cleaned at my parents house. When I got home I washed and dried Audra's sheets so they are ready to be put on her bed. I want to make sure that I have the bed made and ready to go when she arrives Friday.

This morning driving in to work I see this crawly thing coming out of the side of my windshield on the inside. I wasn't sure if it was a really huge spider or some other kind of bug but it was big, and it was dark, and I was going 70 miles an hour on 485 and there was traffic all around me. My first thought was I can not have a wreck over this.

So I open the driver side window hoping whatever it was would be drawn toward the air, no such luck. Instead it fell and so now it's crawling somewhere around me, and I'm in traffic going 70+ miles an hour. It landed on my hand and I'm sure those around me got quite the show as I screamed and shook my one hand.

Then the stupid thing went on my steering wheel and I screamed again and flung it.

Finally I was at my exit, and so I knew where I could stop safely. I am so lucky I didn't get a ticket for going up Rea doing 60 in a 40. I pulled into the piper glen shopping center into a well lit part and flung open all my doors. I had been there for a few minutes when a police officer cruised by and asked if I was OK.

I cleared out the passenger seat side, and there was nothing. When I went back around to the driver side, there it was. I have no idea what kind of gross, yucky, disgusting bug it was but this is why keeping extra shoes in a car is critical. I used a shoe to end that bugs life and then used the same shoe to move that dead bug on out onto the pavement.

Meanwhile my phone was going off. I had these cute pictures. Today is Wacky Tacky day at Audra's school.

The cuteness helped me feel a little better after having to deal with the bug!

Happy Thursday!

5 Minutes

I posted for a position and I made it into the top 3 candidates, I got the call yesterday that they went with someone else. It was a long shot for me anyways based on my career experience and the role itself so to have made it that far, and to be one of the job contenders actually makes me feel good.

Yesterday I had an 8am breakfast opportunity with the floor leadership of my department, basically those of us who seem to stand out for our work and ability, and attitudes with the guys who are the national bosses of everyone. It was quite fun for me. I love stuff like that.

Then with the rest of my counterparts we had lunch with the same 2 higher ups. It's always eye opening to hear the perspectives of team mates. Especially when they feel that they are doing "all" the work and just can't get it all done, but they are the same individual who is out on their phone on the regular. If you are not getting it done, evaluate why, and change something.

After that meeting I had another meeting with my bosses boss who is also in town. She and I had a conversation about the future, and direction, and how the team is doing. It was a good conversation.

The saving grace of yesterday is that my two underwriters who I work with are on vacation and I'm not backing anyone else up right now.

I left work and went to see my fabulous hair stylist, who I see maybe once a year. I cut 8 inches off my hair. It was due! I told her I still needed to be able to pull it up in a ponytail and she showed me some pictures. I am really happy with how it turned out!

I went to the ladies thing at church last night. I walked in and to be perfectly honest this week I've felt a little (or lot) discouraged and then finding out about the job, which I knew was a long shot but I was still disappointed. It was a good reminder last night that even when there is chaos God is still right there with us.

Tonight there is a twilight 5K in downtown Concord. If it's not raining I'll go, if it is raining I'm not out anything since I haven't registered yet. Fortunately this weekend is not completely booked out. Sunday I need to run 9 miles, if it's raining I'll be at the gym, if it's not I'll be outside.

Happy Friday!!!

Thursday Thoughts

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

I'm still worshipping. Here's the deal regardless if I get called back for the next round of interviews, and regardless if I land the new position, I still have a really good job. I will still receive a promotion and raise in April. I received a bonus which was awesome, and is all gone.

I'm trying to figure out the condo situation. The inspection came back and they have some requirements that I'm just not sure I can make happen. I'm supposed to explain where the hot water heater is, I don't know. I'm trying to find this out but it's kind of (or really a big) pain and inconvenience.

I'm checking into if I can put a rail up for the back stairs. This is HOA property and I have to have permission to do something like that. I am ready to throw up my hands and say next but my property manager has not been as willing to just walk away from a cash in hand tenant. I do understand and I do get why she's working to try and make it work. It's just trying to handle this on top of the waiting to find out if I made it to the next round has me worshipping a lot.

In my car, anytime I'm in it, there is really loud worship music playing. I'm doing my best to keep my focus on Him. At work when my work load is overwhelming I can get twitchy. Yet I know that all things are possible through Him.

I worked out with an amazing trainer on Monday and I LOVED her. I didn't feel that sore Tuesday but by Tuesday night I was starting to be sore and yesterday I was really hurting, but I wasn't crippled. Last night I forced myself to the gym and today I'm moving slightly better and I'm less sore then yesterday. My shirt is too tight in the arms so I unbuttoned it. I think my arm muscles are slightly swollen, at least I hope this is the case since it hurts to lift my arms.

Regardless of the outcome with work I know that my identity is in Him. Regardless of how the condo works out I know that He always provides.

I had to let the trainer know that I just can't afford $100 a month. Yes $25 a week is an awesome deal and I do wish that I could make this happen. It's not realistic for me to commit for a year, that's $1200, there are other things that I need to contribute towards as much as I would love to have this trainer work with me.

I stepped on the scale at the gym Monday night and I'm pretty sure it's the same as it was last January when I went in for the fitness evaluation that left me crippled for over a week. So that means that I haven't gained any weight in a year. I also haven't lost any weight in a year, that does NOT make me happy. I'm 20ish pounds more then I want to be. This same stupid 20 pounds that I've been fighting since 2001. I can lose it but my body bounces right back to this comfortable weight, and I DO NOT LIKE IT.

However, I also realize that my identity and value don't come from the scale numbers either. I'm probably struggling more with that concept then with anything else.

This week is just a challenge, not in an overwhelming way, just in an OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS MAY I PLEASE HAVE SOME ANSWERS AND MOVEMENT kind of way. And then I remember that while patience has never been my strong point His timing has never ever been mine and He is the one in control.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to Him and He will set your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6

Worship while I'm waiting

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."  

These weeks are getting away from me. Work is busy, and then on top of that are additional factors.

I had 3 interviews last Thursday. At 9 I met with our HR lady. At 1 and 2 I met with the managers for underwriting in another department. I posted for an underwriting development position in December. I had a phone interview 2 weeks ago and last week I had the first round of in person interviews.

There are 9 internal candidates and 4 candidates just coming from college. I am waiting to find out if I made it through to the next interview round.

Last Wednesday night I cleaned the office and then stopped at Marshalls to see if I could find the dress I had in my head. They didn't have it so I went over to Kohls which was a stones throw away. Kohls is having their big winter clearance so I had to sort through a lot of clothes. I did find the dress that I had in my head.

At the end of each interview I was complimented on the great interview that I gave. I knew when I posted for this position in December that if I make it through it will be a total God thing. I know that this position that I have now is a total God thing.

As I wait to hear back on if I made it through to the next round I have been reminded that no matter what I will praise Him. When I was waiting to hear back about the position that I now hold I knew that I would praise Him no matter what.

The scripture that I have focused on since yesterday, as I work to let go of where my mind wants to go, is Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your path's straight."

Driving in to work today I worshipped as I drove through the rain and fog. It doesn't matter what the outcome is because my future is in His hands. Would I love to be able to say that this will be my next step, beyond a shadow of a doubt yes! I believe that if this is the direction that He has for me then it will work out accordingly. If this is not the direction that He has for me, then there is going to be another opportunity and I will then understand why this one did not work out.

Yesterday at lunch I decided to go ahead and look for a dress for the next interview. I went to my favorite, Belks, and was looking through the dresses. There are a lot of prints, a lot of colors, a lot of pretty dresses, but nothing that would be interview appropriate. I said a prayer as I was looking. I prayed that He knew what I needed, and what would work for this next interview and thanked Him that if I was to find the dress that I would recognize it.
I was getting ready to leave and I realized I had missed a small section. At the end of a rack was a very classic navy dress with a bolero 3/4 length sleeve jacket. I looked at the clearance price and decided to try it on since it was my size. I realized looking in the mirror that it was just what I needed.

I took it to the lady at the register and as it rang up this $170 dress ran up for $45. It was 1/2 off the clearance price. I showed Daron the look last night and he told me that it looks very professional and even looked good with my hair up, he's not a fan of hair being up so that said something.

I have the dress; I am ready for the next round. I will prepare as if it all depends on me while acknowledging and understanding that it's all in His hands.

Life gets away from me

Last Friday I got my taxes done and then I painted the condo with my Dad. With the tax return I figured out that I would be able to take the CIC commercial casualty class. Friday night, after painting, I registered for my class.

I picked Audra up on Friday afternoon. Saturday morning I took her to ballet. We spent the day together, the 3 of us. We went to my condo to check the paint, it looked wonderful. We went to lunch. We picked out a present for Daron's grandmother. I had nursery on Saturday evening. I had 4 little boys. Oh my goodness give me little boys in nursery anytime. They entertain themselves, they are sweethearts, ahh they are just awesome. I love my girl and all things girly but little boys are just amazing!!!

Sunday we had church. We celebrated Daron's Grandmother's birthday. We took Jack to my parents. We took Audra back to her Mom. We had a conversation with her mom. Friday I found out from D that Amy was contemplating a move to Hickory. My heart dropped. Hickory is about an hour away. We told Amy that we want them to stay close and we love them and we will offer whatever support necessary to keep them close.

Monday morning when I arrived at work we had a scheduled meeting at 7:30. This is unheard of in my office. Unfortunately early meetings do not mean good news. My special coworker who I have prayed for and who is such an amazing lady, her daughter had passed away early that morning. Oh my gosh the tears and the shock, and the heart break as we processed. Monday was an extraordinarily quiet day in our department as we thought of our friend and coworker.

Tuesday Amy and I texted about school. After a LOT of prayer I believe that both Audra and her brother will be attending a wonderful school next year. We go to an open house on March 5 to learn more details but for now all signs point to this being the school where they will attend next year. This is such an answer to my prayers and I can not begin to explain the elation I felt after learning that they would likely be attending this school next year.

My day was about to get better. I had a meeting with my manager. I am going on 4 years with my company. I have not had any kind of salary increase or bonus in the years that that I have been with my company. I have ALWAYS been incredibly thankful for my job. I found out on Tuesday afternoon that not only would I be receiving a bonus but I have also been recommended for a promotion. I will know in a few weeks if this has gone through. Additionally I had a phone interview for a position and I made it through to the in person interviews. This interview should take place sometime in the coming week. When I learned of my bonus and promotion recommendation I felt the same way that I did the same day that I accepted my job offer with the company.

Wednesday morning I had my department meeting. I had a presentation. I left from the meeting to drive to Greensboro to attend my class. My brother and SIL graciously provided me a place to stay and amazing food. I will know in a few weeks if I passed. I honestly have no idea. I left the test and my head hurt.

I left from test and drove to my co worker's daughter funeral. Unfortunately I had to leave before the actual service started. We had snow here in NC. My drive was through quite a bit of snow and ice but the roads were just wet.

I arrived home to a sick husband. Today is our 2 year anniversary of our first date. I can't believe that it's been 2 years. I have been as transparent as possible while also learning to try and avoid throwing my husband under the proverbial bus. I do not suggest to anyone getting engaged after 4 weeks and married within 6 months, yet for me and for us, I have seen miracles happen and that all things are possible because God is in control.

I can honestly say that I truly love my husband. I am so thankful for my family. I am incredibly thankful for my friends and the support system that I have been blessed with. God is good, He is faithful, and while I know that the challenges come with the territory of being married, I am exactly where I am supposed to be!!!

classes, work, condo, pain

So much going on, and it has left me with a lot to say but no time to put the words down.

The phone call Wednesday I will follow up on Monday. Despite having a candidate identified I was told that they often have openings because of employee advancement in the department. I've pinpointed an area that fascinates me and is obtainable, I'm hopeful for good things to happen.

Class on Wednesday night finished. It has been fascinating. The class dealt with Israel, Islam, and end times. I grew up learning about how important Israel is, and how that part of the world is the place to watch. I've been trying to make sure to read the stories about the defense secretary hearings.

I have a lot of reading ahead of me. They gave a list of all the books that they read for the class, I plan to read them too. I have some studying to do and while it's not likely I will post much, I just might.

Thursday afternoon I went by my condo. My tenants have moved and I had to make sure that everything was turned off and unplugged. The power was already off, I just had to make sure everything was ready for the power to be cut back on today. The condo looked really great! I was nervous going in but other then the bathroom needing a deep clean the place looked just fine.

Thursday night I went to my abs and booty class. It was fabulous! She had us in plank position a lot. I didn't really think anything of it.

This morning I woke up and turned the wrong way and across the top of my back I felt that muscle pain, oh I hate muscle pain. I took ibuprofen as soon as I got up. I have a severe tightness in my left side.

I had my year end review. I'm so thrilled, I ROCKED this year. I have a GLOWING review for the year. It's awesome and I am really appreciative to my manager for the nice things she had to say. Then we talked about how to sustain the awesomeness and continue to grow.

 I had another meeting after my review. Due to the muscle spasms happening in my back, I have lost my voice. I'm really not sure what to take to relieve the pain, and it hurts! I have a race tomorrow morning, my first one for the year. I should be able to run, but I wish I knew what to do about my neck and back!

It's been 2 weeks since our beach trip. I am so ready to go back to the beach! Instead I will get back to work and finish out the day.

Happy Friday!!!

5 Minutes

It's Wednesday and it's just been a crazy week!

Friday I left work at 12 and stopped by the grocery store on my way home. I was holding my breath that they would still have milk, they did! I picked up lasagna ingredients, a few things for Audra and headed home.

Daron met Amy and picked Audra up at 2, right when it was starting to get bad. The ice and sleet left everything around our house a solid sheet of ice. Audra's ballet class for Saturday morning was cancelled.

Saturday morning was actually sunny, so I was able to drive to the gym, I was careful but didn't have any trouble.

We took Audra to Big Lots to pick out something with her birthday money. She found a little finger nail polish bag gift set on clearance that she immediately wanted. We walked around with her just to make sure. Anytime she would see something different we would ask her which she wanted more. She paid with her money and had just enough.

The next stop was chick fil a for lunch, she loves it, Daron and I are not huge fans. So while she ate and played he went on to Walmart to pick up a few things.

Sunday was church followed by lunch at Daron's parents. We watched the latest Bourne movie that evening, despite not having Matt Damon I still really liked it!!!

Monday we had an internal career fair in our office. It was so interesting. I actually posted for a position and talked to a corporate recruiter today. She was very nice, and told me up front that she is pretty sure they have identified their candidate for the job. I knew that the post had been up a while so I'm not shocked by this. It would have been fascinating but she told me that this department has frequent openings because of the opportunities for advancement.

I made it to the gym Monday night. I did my Jillian workout DVD last night. I'm trying to stay consistent. I don't mind working out I just wish that I actually saw results, on my lower half.

I took a late lunch today because of my scheduled phone call so now I'm almost home free for the day. The office is waiting on me to be cleaned and then I have my last class at church tonight. It's been an interesting class series and I'm glad I've been able to go. It makes for a long day but it's worth it.

I somehow managed to break my 2 favorite pairs of sunglasses in the same day last week. I found a brown pair at Kohls that work, and I will probably try to find one more pair at Marshalls just to have a black pair.

Last week it was freezing cold and miserable, today they are calling for tornadoes, I wish the weather would stay cold and kill all the bugs!!!

Happy Wednesday!

reality, winter, Friday

It is hard to come back to reality after a few days off!

Tuesday night I had my meeting, I got caught up in a book so I did not get the workout DVD in that I planned on.

Wednesday night I cleaned the office. Our church is offering a class on Wednesday night that Daron and I are attending together, so I didn't get home until 9 on Wednesday night. No workout that night.

Last night I finally got a workout in. Abs and Booty blast, it wasn't super difficult but I feel like it was a good workout! The class was from 6:30-7:30, I got home did a load of laundry and then it was bedtime.

Charlotte is expecting a "wintry mix" today, which means that I'm sitting at my desk checking the weather periodically. Our roads are terrible when it comes to inclement weather. I'm planning to leave at 3. This means a workout DVD. I was supposed to pick up Audra this afternoon but I don't want to put her at risk by having her out on the roads. I trust my driving I do not trust the other drivers out on the road.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be clear, I'm hoping for a gym workout.

While I did keep up with working out on vacation, my eating has been ridiculous. Therefore any of the positive changes I noticed are now gone, SO FRUSTRATING!

Work is quiet, I haven't said that in a while, but this week it has been.

This time last week we were on our way to the beach, I am so glad we were there last weekend and not this weekend, this weekend is going to be so cold down there!

Long Week!

It's Friday, yay!!! It has been a really long week. Having 2 short weeks in December was awesome!

If I could sum up how I've felt this week it would be one word, unsettled.

I'm honestly not sure where or why I'm feeling this way. I know that Monday I was talking to Daron about school for Audra and while it's still a year and a half out, I have this strong desire to control. I know I can't control this, I know that it's not in my hands. I very much want Audra to have the amazing foundation of a good education. I grew up in private Christian school, and while there are negatives, overall, I think it would be the best option for her, provided we choose the right school. The public school system here leaves A LOT (and then some) to be desired.

I know that my tenant moves at the end of the month. I know that my property manager will do her best to have someone new in the place as soon as possible. I know that God already has it under control. I still don't like the knowledge that I won't have someone in the place.

I had to do a presentation on Wednesday. I did fine, but not great. I could have done better but I didn't take the time to work on it and I paid for that when it created confusion in my presentation.

Work this week has been crazy busy! I've felt overwhelmed. I had a meeting with my manager yesterday and got called out for internet usage and texting at my desk. Technically this makes the 2nd verbal warning for internet, I am trying really hard to cut way back. I like my job, I need my job, I need to be more aware.

Last night I went to the abs and booty class. I almost didn't go because I contemplated a run. Then I realized that next week I won't be able to make any of my favorite classes so I decided to go anyways. I'm glad I did, it's a great toning workout!

Happy  Friday!!!

all over the place

I do not love sitting up to sleep. I will say that this helped me breathe and kept me from coughing!

Thanksgiving is now a week away. In all honesty I think that while I've been looking forward to it I'm also kind of apprehensive. This will be my first Thanksgiving without Grandmommy. The holidays were her favorite time of year, she loved having all her family together.

I have so many amazing memories of Thanksgiving at the farm house. I know that life moves forward and new memories are being made. I am thankful we will have Girl Clean for Thanksgiving this year. I'm not sure how Christmas will be worked out this year. Last year we had Girl Clean Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day and then her mom picked her up at 2. This year we'll either have her Christmas Eve or Christmas Day but I'm not yet sure which and it makes me twitchy.

I woke up today and it is cold and rainy. I'm thankful for the rain since we are so behind for the year on total rainfall!

I was perusing Zulily, I get so excited when that email arrives everyday!!! I may have sent an emergency text to Patrice to remind me why I am good with the one child. It was an unexpected moment of ohmygoshthatistoocutemusthavebaby. I haven't had a moment like that in a good 5 years. Thankfully she brought me back to reality.

Honestly with Girl Clean she's so not a baby anymore. She'll be 4 in January and she is such a big kid. I look at pictures from when she first came into my life and it's crazy how much she has grown.

My manager's manager is taking us to lunch today, whooohooo free lunch!!! Happy Thursday!!!

pageants, classes, new experiences

Yesterday afternoon I left the office to go clean the office. I've reached the point where I have a good routine flow. I know what I have to do and I go and get it done.

Mr. Clean had dinner waiting when I got home which was so nice.

I made it to the gym at 8. I did 2 rounds of strength training. My arms are fine today. My legs, I did lunges and squats, OUCH. Not as ouch as earlier this week from Saturday's workout but I do have to make sure I keep standing up and stretching.

I emailed for more information on the December 1 holiday pageant and I received a lovely response answering all my questions. I went over the details with Mr. Clean and it looks like we're on a go for this event.

I am so excited. I already purchased a super cute dress that I think will be gorgeous on Girl Clean and it was on clearance. This pageant is called a "natural" pageant. This means no big hair, fake teeth, fake tans, excessive makeup, or big dresses. The dress I purchased is a party type dress which I think will work perfectly. I also have to come up with a holiday themed outfit...

I've forwarded all the information to Girl Clean's mom to keep her in the loop.

Mr. Clean purchased a Groupon for 10 fitness classes. I had emailed him the link and told him to watch out for a similar offer around Valentines because we've already purchased the beach trip as our Christmas gift to each other. He purchased the Groupon as a "just because I love you" gift.

I've already signed up for 2 classes. Beginner Pole (yes for real and I am so excited!!!) and Booty Shake. I'm looking forward to something a little bit different and fun. They also offer a chair dancing class, kickboxing and pilates that I hope to sign up for. The calendar is only going 1/2 way through November right now so I'm waiting for more classes on the schedule and then I will sign up for the rest of my classes.

Tonight I plan on a run and maybe my thin thighs video.

Happy Thursday!!

apologies

I received an apology last night. A good one too, that was sincere and effective.

Sometimes I have a hard time figuring out if I'm right, or if I'm the one who might need to make some changes too.

This particular situation, was a record on repeat, yet there were other elements thrown into it.

I have some things I need to work on. But mostly I just needed to point out all that I have done, and why I handle things the way that I do.

I will take ownership when it's my responsibility. I will admit when I'm wrong. I will also not back down when I know that I need to hold my ground.

I had my meeting last night. The topic, personal responsibility. I think for a long time I looked for others to make me happy, to fill a hole. This is not realistic. I'm not sure where this idea came from, and I'm certainly going to make sure that Girl Clean realizes that she is responsible for her own happiness.

I have to clean the office tonight. Then I need to go to the gym. I probably won't feel like it but I will go anyways. I almost left my cleaning bucket at home because I forgot to set it by the door. Fortunately I didn't get further then the drivers seat before I remembered this detail.

Tomorrow after work I will pick up Girl Clean and she will hang out with us this weekend. I'm hoping the weather on Friday cooperates and she and I can go to the pool.

I'm thankful that the statement this too shall pass has proved true yet again. Happy Wednesday!!

Career, Meetings, Friendship

I found out yesterday at work that my bosses boss J is retiring the first of June. She is 43. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old. Her husband owns a business. When she first came to visit she made the statement that family should always come first. She is staying true to herself although leaving the career that she has worked so hard for was not an easy decision.

I thought a lot yesterday about career and family. I thought about the different comments I heard and realized that while it would seem an easy decision I can understand why it wasn't. When you've worked your whole life, and you've been successful with what you do, it's not easy to step back. Of course she loves her family, but she's been able to juggle (with the help of her husband) for a long time now. Except now her girls are older, the job requires more travel, and her husband's business is busier then ever.

I know that it is very easy to tie our identity to what we do. I always thought I would like to be a stay at home mom someday. Except now that I see what my life is like and what my friends who do stay home have as challenges every day I really like the path that has unfolded for me. I have a unique opportunity of being a mom on weekends, yet during the week I have my own schedule. I'm able to escape the office at lunch to run around and accomplish whatever I need to accomplish. I have a manager who sits down and talks with me. I know what is expected. I leave everything on my desk at 4:15 and I don't think about it again until 7:15.

Mr. Clean has mentioned eventually going to a 3 day on 4 day off 4 day on 3 day off schedule with Girl Clean. To be perfectly honest the idea of this kind of freaks me out. I know when/if the time comes it will be just fine and it will all work out. I hope that it does as I know that it's important for our daughter to have quality time with both sides of her family. I've taken into account how we might make this a possibility. It's all a few years out so I have a lot of time to pray over it.

I had my Al-Anon meeting last night. The program was on letting go. I am so thankful for the shares and wisdom. It's so hard to let go when you want so much to fix everything. There are some things that are just not in my realm to fix.

In other news I was searching out cute nursery ideas for Patrice. I sent a bunch of pictures and idea. Why was I sending her ideas... Remember in SATC when Miranda is pregnant. Patrice is Miranda and I am Charlotte!

I just had my 1 on 1 meeting with my manager. It went well. I'm thankful for my job and thankful for the opportunity to work for the company that I do!

Review

I occasionally go in and read the reviews for the restaurant, this is one from Monday night

"Food was excellent. Service was not very American, at least for the night I went.

Made reservation for 8pm, arrived a little early(20 min), told to wait at bar. A few more groups showed, got seated, we were still waiting. 8:10pm, after complaining to hostess at 8:05, finally got seated. Not sure if pulling our cellphones out and started twitting had anything to do with it."

For real copied and pasted this.

"not very American" whatever that means, all our servers are American the food runners and bussers that evening were a mix of people.

Arrived a little early, 20 minutes. Other's sat before us. I WENT ON A WAIT AND I HAD RESERVATIONS IN FRONT OF YOU. Clearly you believe that the whole world revolves around you. Pulling out your cell phones and tweeting about it has no effect on me, I don't follow you and don't really care that you are annoying everyone with your whining on Twitter.

This is what it's like. I'm surprised that we did not have more reviews from Monday night. I was expecting to read a lot more reviews similar to this one.

Poor Planning does not equal an emergency for me

Typically I try to accept the normal ebb and flow and craziness of restaurant life. Some nights are crazy, others are slow, and for the most part I know what to expect and can roll with it.

3 months ago the restaurant I work at offered a coupon where you pay a certain amount and then you spend an amount and get a discount, these coupons are all over and a lot of places participate. This particular coupon expires today. People have had 3 MONTHS to use the coupon.

Last night I expected to be a little busier then usual. I walked in and looked at the reservations and at the beginning of the night it "looked" manageable. There were a few red flags. One person in the lounge area. One person who had to wait on the 15 tables plus make drinks for the whole restaurant...  We only had 5 servers on the floor and one server in the private dining room. Of the 5 floor servers 1 is new, so while he's a strong server he's not prepared for the 8 table section he was given. Plus I had to ask him to pick up in the lounge area. There were 2 strong servers, and those 2 servers did not have the larger sections. Then I had an average server and my least favorite, least competent server in the back of the restaurant, where the large tables are for large parties.

I had a party of 9 that made the reservation for 6 people because that's all they could make online and they wanted to come in right in the middle of everything that was crashing down at the same time. If you go online and you can't make a reservation for the amount of people and you call the restaurant and you are told a time, then it's highly likely that when they tell you that time they know what they are talking about and know what the situation is for the evening...

I had a phone call from a lady who was sick, had to cancel her reservations over the weekend and had a coupon that was expiring. I'm sorry that you are sick. I'm sorry that you are not going to be able to use your coupon. I am also aware that you have had 3 months to use said coupon. It clearly states you may not place carry out orders with the coupon. I am sorry that my answer is not to your liking but in the grand scheme of things this is not a life or death situation such as you are making it out to be, GET A GRIP!!!

I try very hard to remember that people coming in want a pleasant dining experience. I try very hard to be pleasant and courteous. Last night I went on a wait. I literally ran out of tables and I could not seat people in the lounge because I did not have anyone to take care of them, so they are all standing looking at me. I HATE being on a wait. I well managed front door can handle hundreds of people and should not have to be on a wait. Except when there is poor planning on the parts of other people.

I had guests who had no reservations but had coupons that they had to use before tonight. So they waited. along with my reservations. I can only do what I can do. I was the only hostess last night, I had no help. My manager was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. I knew that freaking out or melting down would serve no purpose and I knew that I could not leave the front to go reset tables. Just because I could get someone seated at a table did not mean that they would receive attention from an already weeded server.

Slowly I was able to get my waiting 7:30, 7:45 and 8:00 tables seated. As the busser would reset a table I would go find the one table and get them seated. I had gone into my system and blocked out all times between 8-9 knowing that if I didn't I was going to be in a bigger mess then was already happening. My 7:30 tables went down before 8. My 7:45 tables before 8:15. My 8 tables went down around 8:15 and my 8:15 tables probably closer to 8:30.

I had an 8pm reservation who was waiting at the door she came to check. In the restaurant where I work you can see all the tables behind me, there were no empty tables. The guest asked what it was looking like to sit down. I politely stated that I would seat them as soon as possible. She made the comment but I want to sit down now. I had to walk away. Had I not walked away I would have said that it would be wonderful to get you seated now and if you want to go sit with another table or at a dirty table then you are more then welcome to do so but I do not have a table that is actually ready for you to sit down at.

Walk in guests, were shocked that I could not seat them on a Monday night. OK while I understand you have a coupon that you need to use your all around poor planning is NOT MY FAULT!!!!! So when you sat and looked at me from 7:30 until 8:15, WHEN I TOLD YOU I WOULD BE ABLE TO SEAT YOU,  and I seat you at a table and you give me attitude and say of course "this" would be our table, I had to walk away. Because what I wanted to say is if you would like to go sit at a dirty table or at another table as you can clearly see this is the only available table I have at this time.

I also had to deal with the guests sitting in my least favorite servers section. Because they were all coming up asking to speak to the manager. Because that server is incompetent.

I had the Dr. come in who was shocked that we were so busy on a Monday night. Who decided to be put on the wait list. Who gave me attitude because I had to ask for his last name a second time. It is loud up front. I have at least 10 people all looking at me as they wait for a table. The phone is ringing, and you snap at me because I asked for your name one more time. GET A GRIP.

Normally it's not like last night. Which is a good thing. If last night were normal, I would not continue to work at this restaurant. However, at the very start of the evening I had a conversation with a guy who used to be our head bartender. He now works for a new restaurant with our previous assistant manager. They are talking to me today about their restaurant. I know that it might not be possible. The reason I am able to work where I work now is because I have been given a set Monday,Wednesday Friday schedule and that gives me Saturdays and Sundays. That kind of schedule is tough to promise when you are having to deal with so many hostesses and so many schedule. However, I'm going to at least go talk to them and see what I might be able to work out!

email, pet peeves, shopping, communicating

It's Friday and this has been a crazy busy week at the full time job!!! My work email has been above 35 all week which is unusual for me. Today it is back in the 25 range, much more typical!!! I did get all rushes and renewals done, that was the important part!

I work tonight and I have a feeling it will be crazy at the restaurant as well.

I try to remember that I have to be nice to people, and that they have a right to like the table that they sit at. However, one of my BIGGEST pet peeves of restaurant hostessing, are the guests who pick the table. I work a rotation, I have servers breathing down my neck for tables. Servers have sections. Sometimes I might be trying to give you the better server. For me personally give me a better server over a better table any day of the week!

Last night Mr. Clean and I ventured out for Christmas shopping. I got home around 5 and worked with Jack on sitting, staying and laying down while Mr. Clean went to the bank. Then he got home and we were off. We started at Hobby Lobby and got our niece a scrapbook. Then we went to Kohls and picked up the rest of his sisters and his Grandmothers. Yesterday at lunch I found my mom's. Meaning Christmas presents are all purchased!!! I also stayed within my given range for gifts, GO ME!

I really love Mama Clean a lot! We're trying to figure out how to convince her to start a college fund and take the money that would be spent on things like 2 un-needed Christmas dresses = $50 and put it towards college!!! Not my place, so working with my husband on how to do this tactfully without his usual direct method that unintentionally hurts feelings. Example when he saw the dresses yesterday and stated that I already had outfits and he was told she could wear more then one his response was this is not the Emmy awards she does not need 4 outfits for one day. To me this response was funny, but had I been in Mama Cleans position it most likely would have hurt my feelings.

I can honestly say that because of me he has realized that he needs to soften his statements in order to be heard. I've explained that often times if he wants me to hear what he's saying, or wants girl clean to hear what he's saying, he needs to modify tone and how it is said in order to achieve communicating his message effectively. I told him that yes truth should be spoken but truth needs to be spoken in love when it comes to family and friends.

The trainer comes back on Sunday evening. I'm super thrilled to learn more. Jack is really intelligent and definitely does better when he's being challenged. I've been loving the progress and I know there is still a lot that Mr. Clean and I have to learn in order to help Jack. It's going so well, and this makes me oh so happy!!!

Happy Friday!!!