5 Minutes

Here's what's the same. Work. Work is crazy! Insanely, ridiculously crazy!

I have amazing friends who I love beyond words!

I was supposed to run 12 miles on Friday I ran 7. I got up to 11 and I'm now tapering. I figure that I'll be fine for the half. I just felt awful Friday and the 7 miles I did run were a terrible struggle for me!

I am in the 30 days of waiting for my divorce paper to go to the judge. I am so ready to be finally done with D. In the past year any shred of respect that I might have had for him is completely and totally gone.

I went shopping on Saturday with Margs at the outlets in Gaffney. I found a dress at Ann Taylor Loft on sale, with tax it was $18. It's so pretty, I'm excited! I also bought a pair of gorgeous black patent leather high heels.

I saw Amy and Audra on Sunday. I love them. I'm glad that I'm still able to see Audra.

I have my small group tonight. Supposedly we're supposed to get snow this week but I believe it when I see it. For me it's more a hassle than anything!

My one word is still thankful!

stopping the wheel

I could write for days about the same thing. My head is stuck. I think I'm doing so good and suddenly I get off track and start spinning.

All the what if's in the world don't change the past. I can re-work and re-work the stories in my brain but the ending is still the same.

So in order to redirect my brain.

I bought new boots yesterday, they are super cute!!!

I bought a new dress on Sunday that I posted on IG. It's fabulous and I love it and I will find a reason to wear it!

Because I cancelled my party I'm now planning visits with the girls who I haven't seen recently. The party would have been way easier and was actually partly why I was going to have a party but this way I'll be able to catch up one on one.

I had to drive in to work today. I drove on solid ice for about 90% of the drive. From my house until I was halfway to work I went no faster than 25mph. I am staying at Tiff's house tonight so that I don't have to travel so far until it clears up a little more.

I've been talking to my parents and I've decided that come September I'm either going to sell the condo or if it doesn't make sense to sell I'm going to rent it out for another year. I want a fresh start and I feel like a part of that is letting go of my past completely and starting new.

My half marathon is fast approaching and I know it's going to happen and despite the misery of training I'm really excited about it! I also think I'm probably going to sign up for another half on May 17. Meanwhile I have got to get some kind of exfoliating body wash. My skin is ridiculous right now and I guess it's because of the winter weather and the running, but yuck!

I know that all these feelings that I'm experiencing, are just that, feelings. This too shall pass! Life is moving forward and it's good and I know that I'm right where I'm supposed to be!

Mishmash

I was reminded this past Saturday that I don't miss certain parts of restaurant hostessing. The insanity of Valentines is definitely something I don't miss!

Today is the 4th anniversary of my first date with D. I still remember what I wore, where we met, the fact that he was late… We sat and talked and I found him fascinating. Oh if I had had a way of looking into the future! I can't keep playing this game with myself. It's done. No matter what I understand now I can't go back and change any of it.I also wouldn't because I wouldn't be where I am today. I just want to go back and shake the me of 4 years ago. I want to tell her to figure out herself without that driving need to get married in order to figure out her life. 

Friday night was a low key evening in. I cleaned bathrooms and hung out with Jack. Friday was the 6th anniversary of when I brought Jack home. The years have flown! He has been the absolute best valentine's present to myself ever!!!

Saturday morning I went to bikini bootcamp at sassy girl. It's a tough hour! Then I got ready and Mom and I drove to High Point to see my brother and SIL. We stayed with my nephew while they went on a lunch date. On our way up I sent an email to my girls cancelling the party on the 21st.

I had originally said I didn't want to do a party and the closer I was getting to the party the more I still didn't want to have the party. So I let everyone know we'll do something fun this summer because I love them all but we're not going to have the party next Saturday. I have done my best to make sure that throughout this process I have stayed very much in God's word and listened for His voice, I knew in my spirit that having the party would not be honoring to all that He has done for me. From the beginning when things were so horrible to when I left to now my only desire is that my actions honor the Lord.

This divorce was necessary. I have complete peace about the decision. I just can't celebrate because in all honesty I would much rather have seen a real change in D, a true change, and been able to share a story of a marriage that was restored. Every step of the way I prayed for wisdom and discernment. I wanted that story of a miracle but I knew that I had heard all of his promises before. I knew from listening and observing that he hadn't changed. Every time I started to question if I was making the right choices God allowed me to see the truth about D. The FB posts on D's page provided way more information then he realized he was putting out there.

Yesterday morning I ran 11 miles on the treadmill. It was way too cold to run outside! I went home and got ready and I went to the 11 service at church. I had a conversation with a couple after the service. The inevitable question has become, well how is D doing? I no longer have to steel myself not to cringe and I keep it simple. I state that he's doing really well, he has a girlfriend and he's really happy. I explain that I don't really talk to him but from what I understand everything is great. Then the next question seems to be am I seeing anyone. To which I very nicely answer no that's not been my focus. Then the statement well I'm sure there is someone just for you to which I answer that I'm happy to just continue focusing on the Lord and whatever His plan is. Then I find a way to change the subject.

I no longer have to pretend that the question about D doesn't bother me, because it doesn't. The chapter is closed, he's moved on, and I'm no longer fighting for a marriage that was progressively worse rather than better.

I can easily forget the bad stuff most days. I'm glad that I wrote throughout my marriage about what was going on. I can see the patterns. I was able to identify the empty promises. I was able to prepare and implement a strategy that allowed me to move everything out and I am thankful to still be with my parents. I think about the trips that we took and had planned and then I remind myself that those trips were great but the reality of my life was not good. I am at an odd sort of crossroads in my life. I know the path that I am choosing and yet the other path is still wide open and waiting on my to just cross over.

That other path is the path that offers partying and online dating and returning to all my old patterns. For so long I pursued my own way and it's odd to suddenly be on a new path and yet still so easily able to see the other road. I haven't thrown up since July. That is also a part of my old patterns. I have had moments and times when there has been temptation, when there have been triggers. I've simply chosen to continue to walk in the freedom that I walked into last July when the word was spoken and I physically felt the breaking of the hold of that on my life. 

I blocked D on FB the Monday before I filed only to unblock him again that Saturday. I realized that I needed to have friends hold me accountable so I reached out to Tiff and Patrice and I explained that I had blocked him only to unblock him and that come Monday I would be re-blocking him and to please help me break this pattern of checking his FB by holding me accountable. Patrice made an excellent point about it. She said you know that God brought you out and set you free, much like he did with the ED. You have to choose to walk in the freedom of not checking D's page. You have to leave him to God and you have to walk in the knowledge that you are right where you are supposed to be.

This is hard. This is so hard. I am daily choosing where my focus is. I want to internet stalk his GF. I want to create scenarios. I want to dwell on all this so much. Days like today when it's a significant calendar day in our brief relationship are days when the memories seem to hit me harder. I know that this too shall pass. I know that this is all part of the process. I know that when I keep my focus away from D and his girlfriend and his life I make my life significantly easier.

I'm on the other side of the year. I know that from here on, especially once the divorce paper is signed by the judge, I will only continue to walk further and further from it all. I don't want to forget where I've been but I also don't want to stay stuck in it either. I realize that the yes I've said to God might not be easy. I realize that yes is likely to come with a high cost. I'm trusting that as I continue to focus on His plan and His direction my life is going to fall into place in a way that I never could have imagined! 

The girlfriend

I wrote yesterday that I'm in a good place and I am! However, I admit there is still the factor of the girlfriend and I am doing my best to let go. I need to not research her further. I can only find so much, and I don't know this woman.

I had a feeling that I would like D's first wife tremendously and I was right. I have never had a desire to get to know anything about his second wife. Based on everything I put together I know that I would not like her. When it comes to his girlfriend now I have a feeling I would like her, I appreciate meeting very intelligent accomplished women and she is definitely that.

This girlfriend who will likely be his wife soon is a woman who I am having trouble accepting that she doesn't understand who he is. From the time I found out her name in October to now I have been praying. Somehow someway that she will not have to have the nightmare that I lived through.She is intelligent and accomplished and yet she is dealing with a charming two faced master manipulator, control freak, hypocritical pharisee.

Every relationship is different. Every story is different. I don't know her full story only the bits and pieces I've been able to put together. It could be that D has really changed.... Except I don't think he has. Actions are what indicate change. D's actions have all been the exact same as what I've observed the previous 3 years and in talking with his first wife his actions haven't changed in the past 26 years. So my concerns are valid. Except when I allow these concerns to spin I'm trying to control a situation that is absolutely none of my business. I need to get out of my head!

I realized  yesterday that by still trying to find information on her I'm allowing myself to focus on a situation that I can't change. I can't force a solution. I can't save her. I can't make this better. I have to believe that God, who works all things for good in my own story, will also work all things for good in her story.

So I will work to keep my focus on me and my life and I will leave this alone and trust that the God of details has all her details worked out too!

what if you fly

Driving in to work this morning I was thinking about this week last year. I met Lisa for dinner on Tuesday night. It had been snowing that day but nothing was sticking. We went to one of my very favorite restaurants, Thai Taste! I heard about her birthday weekend, and I told her the story of moving everything out of my house.

Wednesday morning I woke up and the weather people said the snow was coming! Tiff had reached out and offered to let me stay with her because if it did get bad she lives less than 5 miles from my office. I had the best time! We used the snow to keep beer cold. We hung out. We walked to the park.

I remember D had tried to get me to answer calls and text messages that I was ok. I refused to respond. Eventually my Mom answered his calls to their house and told him that I was safe and fine.

 I had a 2 hour work delay on Friday last year, which was Valentines because Charlotte got dumped on with snow. When it snows like that it shuts down this city! We don't have the equipment or man power to clean up winter weather. Even though we do occasionally get winter weather it's nothing like what happens further north.

I drove home from work only to get stuck on my parent's driveway and then get stuck in my Aunt and Uncle's driveway. I had to dig my little car out. That Saturday I drove to High Point to see my nephew and brother and SIL. *Sidenote: tomorrow I'll be driving up to see them again.* My original plan last year had been to go up Friday but I ended up postponing because of driving conditions.

I realized something else this morning while I was reflecting. For the second time in my life I had to get myself out of a really bad situation. In 2005 I went to Charleston with a guy named Mike. It was supposed to be a fun get away. The first night he called me a gold digger and said I was just out to see what I could get from him. Saturday I bought us tickets to go on a dark side of Charleston tour. We went into Charleston to grab food beforehand. I don't remember the exact tipping point but as the evening wore on he got uglier and uglier to me. After the tour ended we had gone back to grab a bit to eat at a restaurant and I had paid the check and he started yelling at me that it was about time I finally paid for something and he ranted and raved and walked away. The table sitting across from us came to check on me. I said I would be fine I was getting back to Charlotte tomorrow.

He came back and started in on me again. I got up and told him I was going to the ladies room. Instead I walked out the door and got in a cab. I had hotel security escort me to the room so I could retrieve my things and I paid for a hotel room for myself that evening. That was when I still had an actual limit on my credit cards. I called my friend Paula who called friends of hers and they picked me up the following morning and drove me to Columbia. Paula met me there and drove me back to Charlotte.

Mike tried to contact me a few weeks later; I told him that I was dead to him and never to contact me again.

I'm fully aware that there were comparable incidents with D before we got married. I have said many time over now that I would not change any of it because of where I am now. I'm also frustrated that it took all this for me to reach this point. I think it's why I'm now so accepting of the fact that my future is completely unclear. I don't know what the next year is going to look like. I don't know what the next 5 years hold. No one does, realistically, but when my goal was always to get married the plan for me was always pursuit of that goal.

I honestly don't think my future is going to hold a husband or children although I realize that God might surprise me when it comes to this piece of my life. I've prayed about this, acknowledged that I am willing to accept a future that I don't understand any longer. My prayer has become, Lord wherever you direct me I will go. Whatever your plan for me, I will accept it. I will say yes, no matter what that looks like.

When I went to the dream conference last weekend I heard a word that was encouraging and yet intimidating. We had the opportunity to submit a dream for interpretation. I hadn't had any dreams recently that I felt the need for clarification on. Then the night after I got the email letting participants know that we could submit a dream I had a dream, which I submitted the following morning. The word that I was given is that in 2 years I will no longer have to feel so pulled between the responsibility of my job and the stronger desire I have to be able to do what the Lord is calling.

Interestingly the way I would have handled this previously is trying to figure out how to make it happen. What did I need to do, what did I need to move, what did I, what did I, what did I… I've learned over these past few years that when I try to force solutions the outcome is never what I hope. I can rest in this word knowing that God is working out the details. He is such a God of amazing detail that I have no doubts that He already has started moving the pieces. I only have to trust Him and continue to give him my yes.

The party is a week from tomorrow. Honestly I wish that I had stuck with my original plan of not having a party. My girls want to celebrate and I get that. I am already moving on. I didn't want it to be referred to as a divorce party, and actually I have never called it that. I think they are calling it that. Which, that’s fine, for me this is a celebration of closing chapters and new beginnings.

I did send D a final email. I've kept communication to a minimum, especially after I told him at Christmas if he contacted me further I would send his GF every message he's sent me since October. I sent an email explaining why it was over in December, I sent an email calling him out for not spending time with A and in that email I said I would not contact him further. Which I wasn't except when I went to do taxes I ended up having to file joint.

Long story, short the government gets A RIDICULOUS AMOUNT of my money and paying instead of a refund made no financial sense. I sent a text from in front of my accountant asking if I could still file joint because when he asked me I had said absolutely not. I'm able to be humble when necessary!

The final email, my closure:

In light of this morning's text I am reaching out one final time despite saying that I wouldn't.

Thank you for paying for A’s enrollment and book fee and L’s enrollment fee. I’m thankful that you blessed Amy and the kids; it’s a huge financial burden that I know she carries.

Thank you for holding me accountable to tithing. I never grasped the reality of it until we got married. It’s hard to explain to others who don’t tithe why it matters so much. Because I had to be faithful with it I have seen how important it is.

I am very happy that you have met someone who seems to be very genuine and accomplished. I hope that y’all will be wonderfully happy. I do not appreciate the continued messages you sent me after you met her. Please be kind and loving and show her the respect she deserves. Please continue to work a program.

I fully recognize that I would not be where I am today if it had not been for our marriage. I explained to you in a previous email why we are over. I would not wish the experience of my years married to you on my worst enemy, much less a woman who I have never met, please do not do to J what you did to me. You say you have truly changed, if that's the case then she is a very fortunate woman.

This email does not require a response.

I’m thankful that things have worked out so well for us both. I wish you all the best.

I've determined that I won't reach out to his girlfriend. I've reached a place where I have wonderful peace about where I am. I am truly thankful for his girlfriend because she is the reason I know he won't drag out the final process. Since she thinks he's already divorced he can't say a whole lot. I can't see what he says anyways since I have blocked him on FB in order to quit looking at what he's posting.

Reaching out to his girlfriend could potentially stir up drama but oh I do wish that I could reach out to her! From the research I've done this women is amazingly accomplished and someone who I would want to meet. Her Linked In is incredible! I don't think D has really changed and it does bother me that she is likely buying into his lies but I have to practice letting go and letting God. Regardless of how desperately I want her to understand what I think she should know about D, it's unlikely she would be receptive. I pray on a regular basis because I am not kidding about not wishing my marriage experience on my worse enemy! I pray somehow someway she will not have to go through what happened to me.

I allowed the email to D to be my way of doing what I could to request that he not hurt someone else. I allowed the email to be my final statement. I'm not angry, not upset, not bitter, I am thankful. My marriage was the vehicle that God used to get me to the here and now. I'm not God, and I'm not going to try and play God. It's now my responsibility to stay out of the driver seat and let God direct where I go from here.

Moving on

Life is crazy. All the time. It doesn't seem to change so I'm going to stop saying it.

Thursday I went to the lawyer, signed the paperwork, drove home and then went for an 11 mile run. I got home, showered, got ready, and drove up to Patrice's house. I hung out there until I went to the Awakened event at the Concord church.

Friday morning I was at work and then that afternoon I drove to Concord to attend the opening of the Hope Center. I'm so excited that the Concord church has opened this in our old building. I left from there to meet up with my friend Vada for a few hours. Then I went to the Concord church where I attended a conference on dreams.

I've always believed God speaks through dreams and Friday night we talked about dreams and how God speaks and different types of ways that God speaks. It was amazing! I'm so glad I went!

Saturday morning I ran the UNCC 5K. I would have skipped it except my Mom's department puts this race on every year and my friend Nicole was running with me. I left from there to shower real fast and I made it to Concord by 11 for the rest of the dream conference.

The conference ended at 3 and I went home and crashed!

Sunday morning I went to the 9 service. I had nursery during the 11 service and then Patrice and I went to lunch. My small group kicked off at 2 and we went to Panera where my group will be meeting. No one was able to come Sunday but I was there. I actually have 4 women who are going to be a part of my group, which I’m so excited about!

The rest of Sunday I rested!

I found out yesterday that D signed certified for the divorce paperwork. The papers could be sent one of several ways. They could mail them and he would have to sign in front of a notary, I told the legal secretary I knew he wouldn't do that. I could send them certified and once he signed then we were good to go, which is the option I chose. Had he not signed certified I would have had the sheriff serve him the papers.

So now he has 30 days to counter and then the paper goes to the judge and then shortly after that everything will be final.

I'm so thankful that this is almost done! I look back over everything that happened during the year that has passed and I'm amazed! I think the biggest surprise for me was that I was still able to be hurt so much by him. I didn't realize how numb I was when I left. I knew he would have a girlfriend and be engaged but I didn't expect the actuality of it to hurt me.

I sent out an email to my girls about celebrating the closed chapter. I debated, and reworked and thought about previous fun things I had attended. I realized I didn't want to do what I would have done before I got married, which would have been a night out partying. That just doesn't fit my life any longer.

One of my favorite events was several many years ago, a valentine's party that Chuck (not CF&G but the first Chuck) and his roommate had at their house. Everyone brought their favorite bottle of wine. All the bottles were in a paper bag and we rated our favorites. The winner took home a gift.

I talked to my Mom and she loves the idea. So we are creating a menu that is going to be so much fun and will pair with many different kinds of wine. I asked everyone to bring their favorite wine in a brown bag and we will number each one and taste.

The party motto is every new beginning comes from another beginnings end, thankful for new beginnings! I'm going to provide the champagne for an after dinner toast to new beginnings!

Thursday February 5, 2015

IT'S HERE!!!!!!!

I had no idea how I would feel on this day. I suppose if I hadn't found out on Monday about D lying to his girlfriend about being divorced already I might feel a little more sad or angsty. Last night I kept waking up, I would look at the time, and then go back to sleep.

NC requires one year of separation and then the court will grant an absolute divorce. It's a no fault state so you just list irreconcilable differences. I asked my friend, who is a lawyer, if I could list a few other things and she was like, no. She said he would just contest it and then it would get dragged out. I would say I don't care how long it takes but that would be lying. I want to be legally divorced and change my last name again and I don't want to have any further ties to D.

This week I have 2 scripture references that have been given to me. Proverbs 21:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come." and Psalm 30:11"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy"

I woke up this morning and I felt such joy! I have truly been set free! I have no regrets. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did the very best I could with what I was given. I know that I submitted to the church leadership and I went through the counseling process. I know that I have done everything that was asked of me. I know that I have done my best to keep to my side of the street.

Yesterday I started posting my songs. I have had friends reach out to me and ask if I am ok, and I am able to answer yes I am awesome! This is not how I pictured the story. I have been posting my play list of songs with the year in a comment underneath on FB and on IG I've been posting the corresponding scripture verse. If you follow me on FB or IG I know I've blown up my news feed. For me it's a way to keep my focus. I compiled these songs and scriptures so that when this day arrived I could truly celebrate!

My appointment at the lawyer is at 9am. I need to run 11 miles. Tonight I have a women's event at the Concord church. Tomorrow I work 6-1 and then the Concord church is having the grand opening of the hope center at 2. I meet my friend Vada at 4. At 6:30 I'm attending a conference at the Concord church on dreams. Saturday morning I have a race and then the second part of the dream conference. Saturday night there is another event at the Concord church. Sunday I have church, nursery, and then at 2 I will be at the designated spot for where I will meet with my small group. I have no members yet but I signed up to lead a group.

It's a lot, and yet, I'm thankful that it has worked out like this!

Thankful

Since I woke up this morning I've been flashing back to what was happening last year on this day.

On this day at this time last year I was on my way to Concord with my Mom. I had my plan in place, get Jack situated in Mom's car, start in the kitchen pantry and work from the back of the house to the front. Dad and the movers arrived with the truck and I sent them to the garage to move my furniture out.

My friend Nicole and family friends the Sloans arrived at 9:30 and helped to box up what remained of my life. It took less than 3 hours to pack and load everything. The bulk of my belongings were my clothes and shoes. At one point Craig asked how many shoes does a girl need and without missing a beat Nicole said that there are 365 days in a year.

If I had one word it is Thankful.

my side of the street

It's now less than 48 hours until I file.

I found out yesterday that D's new girlfriend believes that he is already divorced. Believe me when I say there was a very real struggle for me to keep myself in check. At the end of the day it's not my place to contact this woman. Sure I could post publicly on FB about my divorce filing but that would completely negate the high road I've managed to stay on during this past year.

I changed my profile picture to Proverbs 12:22 "Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, But those who deal faithfully are His delight." Then I changed it because I figured that was too much reacting on my part.

I blocked D on FB only to unblock him again this morning. I blocked him due to the most recent post talking about how some people just give up on their spouse too easily. He also liked his own post and liked his comment that he made on his post, hash tag narcissistic. I maintain that if I'm going to go check I do not get to react, I am the one responsible for going there to begin with. For me the whole checking his FB thing is a control thing, and once I realized that I would have gone and blocked him again except FB won't let you block someone back until 48 hours have passed. The reason I block him is so that I can't see what he's posting. I have my privacy settings so that if you're not friends with me you don't see much, as far as I know. D has no privacy settings so anyone can go and see his page. When you block someone not only do they no longer see you but you no longer see them. You don't see what they like or comment on. Especially after Thursday it's time to really truly let go. After Thursday my life will no longer be tied to his (well it has to be finalized by the judge but my part will be completed).

I really try very hard to keep myself in check. Over this past year I could so easily hate him after the way that everything has played out. On so many levels. He promised to love me forever and wait as long as it took. He promised that he had changed. He promised that he had not moved on. Lie after lie after lie. So manipulative, deceitful, charming, oh I have many words but at the end of the day I have to realize that I'm not God. I don't get to sit and play God in the judgement of my soon to be ex husband's character. Do I have strong feelings, absolutely! Do I think that my ex husband is a hypocritical pharisee, absolutely! What I think in regards to him no longer matters. Fortunately for me I have had really amazing Biblical, Godly counsel as I have walked through this process. I already had a foundation in the scripture. Otherwise I would think that I was no longer worthy to be loved by God. If my ex husband and his family is to be believed I am the worst sinner on the planet.

I wasn't sure how I would feel this week. I've prayed over this past year for wisdom and discernment. Each step of the way God has allowed me to see and hear exactly what was necessary although at some points it was very painful to see the truth. When I was visiting Lisa and I found out that D had traveled to DC with his girlfriend it hurt me so much more than I ever expected it would. I had already prayed on the plane on my way to MN for scripture. The verse that I was given was Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us".

When I found out yesterday that he had lied, yet again, I was ready to find a way to "make it right" and make sure that he was found out, and called out! It's not my place. Lies have a way of being found out. If/when he marries this woman you have to put how many times you've been married on your marriage license. You also have to put the date of your divorce. At the end of the day what really matters is that I'm going to be able to walk away and my life is better.

I needed yesterday to remind me, once again because apparently I easily forget, that Thursday will be a day for rejoicing. I would never in a million years have believed that a divorce would be a reason for rejoicing and thanks and yet in my story, in this chapter that is closing, I'll be praising the Lord with all that's in me for allowing me to be set free!

Psalm 34:3-6 "Glorify the Lord with me; let us exalt his name together. I sought the Lord, and he answered me;he delivered me from all my fears.Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame. This poor man called, and the Lord heard him; he saved him out of all his troubles."

Life is a blur

Last week was a blur! I had Thursday off for taxes but because of my work load I only took 3.25 of the planned 8 hours of pto. I'm kind of not as far behind, but not really. There is always something!

I was at the tax place early Thursday to avoid having to wait. They don't take appointments so I've learned to get there right when the doors open. I went home took a nap and then went for a long run. The weather app said it was going to be completely clear with no chance of rain. It was wrong. I was 5 miles in and I see raindrops and then it started raining. It wasn't a complete downpour so I sucked it up and finished the 5 more miles.

Friday I was back at work. That night I went to my meeting. Saturday I went to Abs and Booty at Sassy Girl. I found my itunes music and got it loaded on my phone. I had an epiphany of sorts on Saturday. If I ever decide to date again the guy will have to like country music and let Jack sleep in the bed.

Saturday evening I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend of mine. You know you're old friends when you sit down and talk to each other and it's like no time has passed at all. Originally Patrice was supposed to be there too but L passed along his stomach ick to her so she decided to stay in and not share.

Yesterday I had a 4 miler. I PR'd it. My time was 36:08 and my pace was 9:03. I sat for a long time researching my previous 4 miler results to make sure it was a PR. My friend Nicole keeps a spreadsheet which is a great idea but I'm just not that detail oriented… so instead I sit and research race results back to 2009…

I have gift cards to several stores and I have yet to use any of them. This is totally not the norm for me. I've been so slammed at work that I'm not taking hour lunches. I have been so busy outside of work that I haven't made the time to go to any of the stores.

I figured out how to get my iphone pics transferred to the PC. I was so proud of myself for figuring that out! I'm definitely going to have to post the pictures from the National Botanical Gardens!

This week is set to be another busy one and I'm thankful. I'm ready for the chapter to close!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:1-2