Wednesday, April 29, 2009

There is always hope

A lot of times my facebook scripture verse status is directly related to an encouragement verse for a current situation for me. I share these on facebook because if I feel encouraged hopefully someone else finds encouragement too. Over the past week or 2 the verses have been statements of truth. I believe that there is 1 God, I believe that there is 1 way to heaven. I believe that Jesus is the only way, the only truth and we have life because he came and died for our sins.
Over the past 2 years I've slowly grown stronger as to what I believe and what I will stand up for and say. In all our lives we have incredible highs and incredible lows. We are not alone in our daily struggles, our Heavenly Father always loves us and is always good. But not just that, I know I'm not the only one who faces discouragement, fear, hopelessness, anger, resentment, joy, happiness, love, all this combines into what is called life.
This morning driving to work I'm thinking about the mountain of bills I have to pay and the fact that there is no money to pay them. I work hard, I have a full time job, a part time job, I have a roommate. I can look back and see where I've made decisions that have put me where I am now as far as finances are concerned. Originally today my scripture verse was going to be "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will set your path straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 I also thought about "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33
I hold onto "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29:11-13. There are so many scripture verses that were brought to my mind as I was praying on my way to work this morning. So many more than would fit into my status for today. I decided instead of a status I would share a few more thru note form. The things of this world are passing. Yes I have to work hard. At Resurrection our goal is Jesus. To know Him to love Him to be more like Him. We hear this every Sunday but each time I hear it I'm reminded that this truly is my goal. We were made in His image, we are beautiful in His sight. He delights in us. He desires to bless us. He desires that we grow in our knowledge and understanding of Him. These scripture verses are powerful statements. No matter what my circumstances I know that God is bigger, and He is mighty and He is able. He is the same yesterday today and forever. It does not stop with this. My purpose is to reach out to those around me and help whenever I can and listen and encourage. I'm not just supposed to take all this in and hold onto it but to make a difference in the world around me, family, friends, coworkers and people I come into contact with.
I refuse to look at the circumstances of my finances and feel hopeless. "For we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Friday, April 24, 2009

A few weeks ago

A few weeks ago on FB a guy who I went to high school with me found me, M was 2 years older than I was but we had drama together. He and his best friend, N were the "high school hotties" or that's what I always thought. They would both go on to lead pretty wild lives until eventually God got ahold of them and their lives were changed.
So M finds me and we start emailing back and forth. I was talking to the guy before him still, J, but I knew that I needed to just break that off for good. I liked J but from the begining but I was begining to feel he was waiting on someone better to come along. I finally let J know that we were just going to be friends and the following day I gave M my phone number. We had been talking via email on a regular basis for a few weeks before I gave him the number.
He called me that night and we talked for 2 hours. I would have thought with all the back and forth between us we would have had nothing to say but surprisingly we did.
That Friday we talked back and forth all day and finally he asked me when we could go out. I happened to be free that Saturday night and we agreed to dinner. I was SO NERVOUS before because I had no idea what we were going to talk about or how it would be or anything like that. He came to pick me up and we went to dinner and we had a great time! We went out afterwards to a hole in the wall bar and sat and talked. It was wonderful! As he was driving away from my house I received a text that said "best date ever" which, of course, made my night. The next day was Easter and we talked back and forth via text all day. Then that night we watched a movie together. The next day I received my favorite flowers, hydrangea. The conversation goes endlessly, usually text messages that are just quick bites of what's going on. I'm appreciative of his openness with me!
Not that long ago my ex boyfriend with the little girl got married in record time. At that time I really could not understand but now I do. When it's right and you know it's right it makes for a very unique experience.
I enjoy spending time with M, I like talking to him and learning about him and sharing back and forth about future goals and ideas.
I'm super impressed that he's willing to go to church on Sunday nights for this Truth Project that is going on at the church where I grew up and am now attending again.
It took me completely and totally giving everything up. Saying that I would not date anyone unless I could hold onto my convictions. I didn't believe I would find anyone who shared the same convictions as I did and yet as soon as I made that step out and took a stand everything changed.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Crosswalk Email: Girlfriends in God

April 9, 2009
Worthless into Precious, Part 1
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"You are precious and honored in my sight..." (Isaiah 43:4a, NIV).

Friend to Friend
Last winter, I bought my daughter a really cute jacket at the mall. It's a hoodie that's made of a cuddly fabric with cream, lavender, and mint green horizontal stripes. The jacket zips up in the front and is well crafted, stylish, and simply adorable.

When I bought it, I felt like the price on the tag was a fair one, so I gladly pulled out my wallet and paid the retail amount. I was like a kid in a candy store on the way home. I fully anticipated a shriek of happiness from my little bag of beans when I gave it to her. Delightfully, I wasn't disappointed. Kennedy loved her new coat, and I was pleased with my purchase. Happy dances all around...until a week later, when I saw the same jacket in the same store at a greatly reduced price. Are you tensing up with me? Suddenly, I felt schnookered! Ripped off. Taken advantage of. As soon as I saw the red line on the price tag of the unsold coats, everything changed -- Kennedy's jacket wasn't worth what I paid for it.

When we speak of the worth of something, we often consider it a relative term - one that has shifting factors. For example: last week the cute jacket was thirty-nine dollars, and now it's nineteen ninety-nine. The jacket didn't change, but its perceived worth did.

Now, consider the worth of a woman. Are the factors that determine her value based upon variable, shifting factors or are they based upon fixed factors? Seems to be a silly question, doesn't it? Fixed, of course! But, if the answer is so glaringly obvious, why do we struggle so much as women with feeling worthless? Why do we walk around feeling like that red lined jacket? I think it's because we often allow variable earthly factors to define our worth.

What kind of variable factors?

There are so many reasons why women feel worthless:

Because they've been abused (raped, molested, physically abused, verbally abused...)

Because they've been told that they're worthless (by a parent, spouse, sibling, teenage child, or another...)

Because of choices they've made (divorce, infidelity, abortion, promiscuity, eating disorders, addictions, uncontrolled anger...)

Because they've been cheated on (infidelity, internet affair, pornography...)

Because they're co-dependent (conclude their value based upon other people -- "If my husband isn't okay, I'm not okay.")

Because they don't collect a paycheck (stay at home moms that have left the work force, laid off employees, displaced employees, those on disability...)

Because they've battled an illness (unable to care for family, perform basic home duties, participate in ministry or Bible study like they once did, can't drive, cook...)

Unfortunately, the variable factors that we use to define our worth are endless. Many of us feel worthless. Why? We've felt ignored, invisible, insignificant, useless, undesired, ugly, unloved, or forgotten. We girls are emotional, broken in many ways. Great portions of our identity and of our personal value are wrapped into combustible packages of emotion...how we feel about this or that. The truth is, our worth has nothing to do with our feelings.

Trust me! I am not going to try to convince you that I know everything there is to know about feeling like a woman of worth. Or about being a woman of worth. I am in the trenches with you. I struggle with normal woman things. I don't live a fancy schmancy, rose-colored wonder-life. I hit the snooze button several times each morning. I pack lunches for my kids. I spend countless hours of my life each year sitting in the car pool line. It's a never-ending struggle for me to keep the laundry cleaned, and my kids often have to fish for a matching pair of socks in the clean-clothes basket. My husband is my soul mate, but is far from perfect. For that matter, Brad should win a lifetime achievement award for enduring the drama of me! And my kids bring me both great joy and great frustration on a daily basis.

Is this sounding at all familiar to you?

See -- I'm just like you, and I'm walking this faith journey right beside you. In fact, the more I know God, the less inclined I am to pretend to have life or faith figured out. Amen? I'm constantly tempted to define my worth with activities, emotions, and accomplishments. I've come to realize, however, that way of thinking is a spiritual dead end road. Scripture tells us that anything we do in our own strength or of our own goodness is of no value to God. "All of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous acts are like filthy rags" (Isaiah 64:6a, emphasis mine).

What I do know is this: because of Jesus Christ, I'm a woman of highest worth. Not because of anything else. I'm a grace girl. Not perfect by a long stretch. I've been changed by the unconditional love of God and restored to perfect beauty through the shed blood of Jesus. Because of love, we are His daughters, precious in His sight. In light of this, we need to set aside feelings that diminish our value, and embrace our proper identity: child of the King of Kings.

Hear this, friend: feelings of worthlessness are from Satan himself. It burns me up that the enemy has such a strong grip on God's daughters in this area. We need to associate the word worthless with the word lie. That's exactly what it is, a big, fat lie! I talk to women all the time who bend a knee to negative feelings and live defeated lives because they don't quite know how to overcome their sense of worthlessness. God wants every one of us to experience healing and have an appropriate sense of self-worth.

So let's go back to Kennedy's new coat for just a moment. Imagine walking into God's department store. There on the rack, you spy a coat that is just plain fabulous -- I mean, stop-you-in-your-tracks fabulous! One-size fits all, the tag reads. Yeah, right, you whisper under your breath. Then you flip over the price tag and it's crazy expensive. Way beyond what you could ever dream of paying...like, if you added up every dollar that ever passed through your hands -- then multiplied that by ten thousand -- that kind of expensive. Then imagine the storeowner walking over to you, slipping the coat off the rack and onto your shoulders.

"It's a perfect fit," He smiles.

"Sir," you manage with a whisper, "I could never afford such a coat. This is meant for royalty and I'm, well, just an ordinary girl."

"Oh precious woman, this coat is made especially for you, and the price has already been paid in full."

As the owner straightens the sleeves on your arms and adjusts the collar around your neck, you notice his hands...nail pierced hands. And suddenly you realize that this is the covering you were meant to wear all along.

You see, the Bible tells us that because of what Jesus did on the cross, we can be clothed with the "robe of righteousness." The apostle Paul tells us that when we are reconciled to God, we become His righteousness. "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). There's no way we could ever afford or earn such a robe. But Jesus gave His life for us - He earned it for us. He paid the price and we receive the gift. Why? Because you're worth it. You are precious and highly valuable in the eyes of the One who sees. And you never, never, never have to worry about being on anyone's bargain rack again.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Hope

I often have to remind myself that my hope does not come from anything other than the Lord.
Before we were saved He loved us so much that He sent Jesus to die for us to cover our sins. I'm paraphrasing Romans 5:8 with that. Then in 1 Peter we are told to cast all our cares on Him because He cares for us.
In Romans 8 we're told there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus and we are also told that all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
Thru out the entire Psalms David talks about how his hope is in God.

Since I'm at work I can't take the time to go into the detailed study and at home I currently don't have the internet but it has been on my heart to do a study on hope similar to the one I did on love after I broke up with the 06-07 boyfriend.

By Your Side

I often times have songs that are relateable to what I'm going thru in my life at different times. Over last summer it was Natalie Grant's "I will not be Moved". Right now the song that is relateable is the Tenth Ave North song "By your side"

Lyrics
Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

I sent a text message last night, the whole guy I've been seeing and his match profile was just driving me batty so I decided I needed to go ahead and address it

I sent the following text message:
I hope you're having a good evening. I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday. I think you're amazing. I guess that is why I'm having such a hard time that your match is still up. (this is spelled out but it was text format)
Over 2 hours later:
Sorry I was out running errands. I do don't you?
My response:
Nope it hasn't been for a while and it cancelled on 3/27. It's ok if you want to see and meet other girls. But I really like you so we probably need to just be friends if you do.

No response. I think I have my answer. It's fine, I am ok. I needed to do this for my own sanity. Now I can move on.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Because I can't email this

I know that in the world of "seeing people" there are certain acceptable and unacceptable behaviors. There are times when I'm better at this than others. I will FREELY admit that when it comes to dating and relationships I can listen to my friends all day long but in my own I'm just not good at them. I tend to consistently mess things up one way or another.
I've been seeing someone since February 28. I have no idea what the rules are, there don't seem to be any. I know he still has a match profile up, this drives me crazy but I can't say anything b/c I already tried to break up with him.
Why did I try and break up with him, well b/c I know you can't expect someone else to have the same convictions that you do about certain things. I'm not going to try and break up with him again. I also know I can't yo-yo on my own decisions.
I figure if he wants to talk to me he can contact me. I am so busy this week I have something going on every single night. I actually can put this on the back burner, focus on other things and quit worrying about it for now.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Crosswalk Devotional Email

This was another one that was so good I wanted to share!!

April 1, 2009
It's All About Love
Gwen Smith

Today's Truth
"The Lord your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing" (Zephaniah 3:17, NIV).

Friend to Friend
Before God spoke the heavens and earth into existence - before His voice lit the sun, causing darkness to separate from light - before He decorated the sky with stars and called them each by name - before He commanded the waters to divide from land and established living creatures to inhabit the earth - before He breathed the first breath of life over the dust of the ground and into the lungs of Adam, the mysterious and mighty God of the universe loved you. Try to fathom that for a few minutes.

The mystery of God's love cannot be solved. The magnitude of God's love cannot be grasped. The measure of God's love cannot be comprehended. He loves you perfectly and eternally.

"But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord's love is with those who fear him" (Psalm 103:17a).

His love is unavoidable for His children. If you are His through the blood of Jesus Christ, nothing can separate you from the love of God! The apostle Paul spoke emphatically about this to the Roman believers: "I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow--not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below--indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 8:38-39, NLT).

God loves you.
God knows you.
God wants you.
God chose you.
How in the world can that be true? It's a mystery. God said through the prophet Isaiah, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. (Isaiah 55:8-9).

I don't even pretend to understand it. I just accept it.

God is truth. His Word is truth. His Word says He loves you and He loves me. We need to take Him at His word and trust His heart. That's faith, my friend. "Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" (Hebrews 11:1). In order to believe that God, whom we've never seen, loves us, faith is essential and takes us right back to the basics, doesn't it?

Jesus loves me, this I know
For the Bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong
They are weak but He is strong
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
Yes, Jesus loves me
The Bible tells me so.

That song tells a simple truth. God loves you...because He said so. Believe it. Accept it. His love can't be earned. His love can't be bought. It can only be accepted or rejected. It's a choice. Do you accept His love?

Let's Pray
Praying Scripture is a powerful spiritual weapon. Join me in praying Ephesians 3:16-21.

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever!" In Jesus' name, Amen.