My parents said that all my clothes have to be out by the wedding. This might sound harsh but the reality is I think my Dad is scared I will use them as an official storage space for clothes. I had my own condo for 6 years and it was just last year that I finally got all my clothes out of the closet in what used to be my room so my Dad has valid reason for this concern.
I've eliminated so much clothing and I think I'm going to have to go through even more. Which makes me sad and I'm trying to get over it. I shouldn't have such attachments to clothes and shoes but I do. Part of it is I fluctuate sizes and I know that I need the range that I have, or maybe this is just what I tell myself to justify it…
Mr. Clean made dinner last night, grilled portabella and roasted red pepper sandwiches with garlic/rosemary potatoes. It was fabulous!!! Then we had the conversation regarding money, we've had conversations before but I revealed my bank book…
I work hard. I am not exactly fabulous at math. Yes I can add and subtract. I do write everything down. I just don't keep exact figures. A long time ago I started a system that works for me. Whenever I deposit a check I never count the change amount. Then I got keep the change, so I started rounding up plus $1 whenever I spent money. This is how I record information. I haven't bounced a check, and I don't have to knock on wood I just know that I understand what I have and what I don't. I pay my bills, and forgetting one time created a new system. I now schedule the payments after the mid month paycheck to make sure that I don't forget.
Mr. Clean is a numbers person. He's amazing at putting numbers together when it comes to money. When I tried to explain my system to him it didn't go so well. I'm really not used to having to answer to anyone when it comes to what I spend. It's truly not a bad thing that I will be accountable but I'm cringing at the knowledge that my days of buying something for me or something for (insert name here because I know that they will love it) just because I wanted to are over.
I realized during conversation on Sunday once again why Mr. Clean is absolutely the guy for me. I've always had a thing for bad boys, he was beyond a shadow of a doubt a wild child. I've always had a thing for guys who have a personal belief in God, he was a pastor for 13 years. I also have always had a thing for really smart guys, I knew Mr. Clean is super smart but Sunday it came up that he graduated from college Summa Cum Laude. I was talking about college and sorority and he was talking about how he just did the honor society and that he graduated with honors after making it through high school on a c average. He was bored is what the problem was. I've mentioned a few times that Girl Clean is scary smart, which means that unless we challenge her she'll be pulling a c average in school as well.
Finally a while back I mentioned quality control scores and pulling mine up. I had a time frame and I had to get my score above a 90%. I have worked really hard to achieve this, and thankfully, it has paid off!!!!
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Monday, May 30, 2011
Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday
We found out Friday we were allowed to leave at 3, this was a blessing. I met the guy who is painting and doing the work on my condo to give him the first 1/2 of his payment.
Friday night I drove up to see Mr. Clean and we had a wonderful evening just spending time with one another.
Saturday morning my mom and I drove up to Boone to pick up my gown. If I would have made a bet, I would have won. I sent my mom upstairs to see all the work that Mama D has done on the store. She comes back down with the comment that she's surprised I chose the dress I chose because there were several others up there she thought I would have selected...
Saturday afternoon I had to be at the restaurant at 4. It was a busy night that went smoothly and I was back at my parents by a little before 10. I chatted with my mom and headed for bed.
Sunday I drove to Mr. Cleans and we went to the 9am service where the message was on commitment, it was a fantastic message!!! He talked quite a bit about marriage and covenant and God's covenant with us and it gave Mr. Clean and I quite a bit to talk about afterwards. We were fortunately able to have girl clean for a few hours even though it wasn't our official weekend. Baby Mama met us and we got Girl Clean in the car and headed to Mr. Clean's parents for lunch.
His sister said that she isn't sure where I'm from but that God has definitely sent me for her brother and she is thankful for me.
After lunch I got a phone call from the property manager, she has a couple that have filled out the application and provided that all goes well they will be moving in this week. They are going to allow the guy I've hired to do the painting and floor cleaning work while they are there. I believe that this is going to work out and I'm SO VERY VERY thankful!!!!!
After lunch and hanging out for a few hours we headed back to Jack so he could see Girl Clean. They played for a bit, and Jack tried to get her to share as many of her french fries and chicken nuggets as she would. We read stories and hung out some more.
The race started at 6 and we had already stated we would bring her home once the race started because traffic up that way right before a race is horrible!!! We took her back to Baby Mama and then hung out for a few more hours.
I arrived home and my parents were still up so I chatted with them for a bit. Then we all went to bed. This morning I actually got to sleep in. Granted for me sleeping in is 8:15 but I'll take it!!!! I sat and talked to my mom while she ate breakfast. She was ticked that we didn't do the couples pictures since we could have. There was an idea to have a table that had both our baby pictures and growing up pictures and then my mom wanted to have pictures of us together, which is a great idea. Except that there really isn't time, Mr. Clean is stressed out, and then we didn't find out until Sunday morning that we were getting girl clean and the day morphed into what it was but we didn't know what it would look like until the day was over.
I told her Friday we didn't have to do the picture table, and to just let go of the idea. In the grand scheme of things whether or not we have a picture table or have couples shots of us together is just not that big of a deal. It ticked my mom off and so then I heard about it this morning. I just listened and nodded.
I vacuumed and cleaned bathrooms at my parents today. It's a way to show my appreciation for letting me stay here and they both had to work. I got in an awesome workout this morning, I ran 4 miles and got weights in so all in all it's been a great day!!!!
I hope y'all are enjoying your Memorial Day!!!!!
Friday night I drove up to see Mr. Clean and we had a wonderful evening just spending time with one another.
Saturday morning my mom and I drove up to Boone to pick up my gown. If I would have made a bet, I would have won. I sent my mom upstairs to see all the work that Mama D has done on the store. She comes back down with the comment that she's surprised I chose the dress I chose because there were several others up there she thought I would have selected...
Saturday afternoon I had to be at the restaurant at 4. It was a busy night that went smoothly and I was back at my parents by a little before 10. I chatted with my mom and headed for bed.
Sunday I drove to Mr. Cleans and we went to the 9am service where the message was on commitment, it was a fantastic message!!! He talked quite a bit about marriage and covenant and God's covenant with us and it gave Mr. Clean and I quite a bit to talk about afterwards. We were fortunately able to have girl clean for a few hours even though it wasn't our official weekend. Baby Mama met us and we got Girl Clean in the car and headed to Mr. Clean's parents for lunch.
His sister said that she isn't sure where I'm from but that God has definitely sent me for her brother and she is thankful for me.
After lunch I got a phone call from the property manager, she has a couple that have filled out the application and provided that all goes well they will be moving in this week. They are going to allow the guy I've hired to do the painting and floor cleaning work while they are there. I believe that this is going to work out and I'm SO VERY VERY thankful!!!!!
After lunch and hanging out for a few hours we headed back to Jack so he could see Girl Clean. They played for a bit, and Jack tried to get her to share as many of her french fries and chicken nuggets as she would. We read stories and hung out some more.
The race started at 6 and we had already stated we would bring her home once the race started because traffic up that way right before a race is horrible!!! We took her back to Baby Mama and then hung out for a few more hours.
I arrived home and my parents were still up so I chatted with them for a bit. Then we all went to bed. This morning I actually got to sleep in. Granted for me sleeping in is 8:15 but I'll take it!!!! I sat and talked to my mom while she ate breakfast. She was ticked that we didn't do the couples pictures since we could have. There was an idea to have a table that had both our baby pictures and growing up pictures and then my mom wanted to have pictures of us together, which is a great idea. Except that there really isn't time, Mr. Clean is stressed out, and then we didn't find out until Sunday morning that we were getting girl clean and the day morphed into what it was but we didn't know what it would look like until the day was over.
I told her Friday we didn't have to do the picture table, and to just let go of the idea. In the grand scheme of things whether or not we have a picture table or have couples shots of us together is just not that big of a deal. It ticked my mom off and so then I heard about it this morning. I just listened and nodded.
I vacuumed and cleaned bathrooms at my parents today. It's a way to show my appreciation for letting me stay here and they both had to work. I got in an awesome workout this morning, I ran 4 miles and got weights in so all in all it's been a great day!!!!
I hope y'all are enjoying your Memorial Day!!!!!
On Memorial Day
As I have gone through this day I have thought about those who serve and have served in order that I might have the freedoms that I have. I am so incredibly thankful to the men and women and their families who have sacrificed so much in order that I might have the incredible opportunities and freedoms that I do.
I appreciate that it seems more now then ever I am reminded to remember those who serve. It would be easy to be ambivalent and wrapped in my own day to day life but in church yesterday as I looked at those standing around me as they were recognized I was reminded once again how very very blessed I am to live in this great country!!!!!!!!!
Thank you to those who serve, to those who have served, to those families who have sacrificed so much so that their loved one can fight for the freedoms that they believe in. I want to always remember, and ALWAYS say thank you whenever I meet someone who is making or has made this sacrifice.
I appreciate that it seems more now then ever I am reminded to remember those who serve. It would be easy to be ambivalent and wrapped in my own day to day life but in church yesterday as I looked at those standing around me as they were recognized I was reminded once again how very very blessed I am to live in this great country!!!!!!!!!
Thank you to those who serve, to those who have served, to those families who have sacrificed so much so that their loved one can fight for the freedoms that they believe in. I want to always remember, and ALWAYS say thank you whenever I meet someone who is making or has made this sacrifice.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Life
While I try to focus on the positive I have to also vent, so I can stay sane!!!! Yesterday afternoon I arrived home, finished loading the van, changed and went to the gym.
I did not have a lot of time so I decided to do intervals. I had a fabulous workout!! I ran a mile in 9 minutes on the treadmill the I did the leg weight machine that works the outside of your thighs. Then I did dumbbells for my arms. I ran an 8 1/2 minute mile did the leg weight machine that works the inside of your thighs, dumbbells for my arms and called it a night, because…
I had to drive back to my parents to shower and I had been asked to give Jack a bath. JB ran with me Tuesday night and it's in the 90's here so he's starting to smell like a dog. I try to give him a bath often enough to keep him from smelling like this and at my condo it was easy, tub wet the dog lather him up rinse him off and rub him down with towels. The bathroom I use at my parents is just a shower. So I figured the easiest way to give him a bath would be just bring him in the shower with me. It worked too. I think it was even a little bit faster.
I put JB in his crate and headed to Concord to take stuff to Mr. Cleans, we unloaded it into the garage. Talked for a bit and then I headed back to my parents. Arriving at my parents my mom shows me the table cloths and napkins that she found….
I asked for purple and orange to be used. She found bright orange and dark purple and it looked like Halloween and I said so. I hurt her feelings. I told her just use white since we'll have the purple and orange in the flowers. Then she wanted to know about pictures because she wanted to get some pictures of Mr. Clean and I together. I tried to explain that he is working excessively long days til the wedding and life is crazy and he's trying to get time in with Girl Clean and she got so miffed about the fact that he's not making time for pictures. I no longer tell him when these requests are coming from my mom instead I simply phrase it in a way that makes him believe I am the one asking. So I questioned if pictures might be possible on Sunday. It ends up no they are not. So I just scrapped the whole idea of a picture table because it's not worth the argument.
My positives for the day, I went to Olive Garden for lunch with a friend/coworker and had my favorite meal of soup, salad and breadsticks. I found out that we get to leave at 3 today. I am taking a check to the guy who is painting and cleaning the condo floors and he gave me 15% off the price using an online coupon from his website. I have Monday off from work. Tomorrow I pick up my dress!!!!!!!!
I did not have a lot of time so I decided to do intervals. I had a fabulous workout!! I ran a mile in 9 minutes on the treadmill the I did the leg weight machine that works the outside of your thighs. Then I did dumbbells for my arms. I ran an 8 1/2 minute mile did the leg weight machine that works the inside of your thighs, dumbbells for my arms and called it a night, because…
I had to drive back to my parents to shower and I had been asked to give Jack a bath. JB ran with me Tuesday night and it's in the 90's here so he's starting to smell like a dog. I try to give him a bath often enough to keep him from smelling like this and at my condo it was easy, tub wet the dog lather him up rinse him off and rub him down with towels. The bathroom I use at my parents is just a shower. So I figured the easiest way to give him a bath would be just bring him in the shower with me. It worked too. I think it was even a little bit faster.
I put JB in his crate and headed to Concord to take stuff to Mr. Cleans, we unloaded it into the garage. Talked for a bit and then I headed back to my parents. Arriving at my parents my mom shows me the table cloths and napkins that she found….
I asked for purple and orange to be used. She found bright orange and dark purple and it looked like Halloween and I said so. I hurt her feelings. I told her just use white since we'll have the purple and orange in the flowers. Then she wanted to know about pictures because she wanted to get some pictures of Mr. Clean and I together. I tried to explain that he is working excessively long days til the wedding and life is crazy and he's trying to get time in with Girl Clean and she got so miffed about the fact that he's not making time for pictures. I no longer tell him when these requests are coming from my mom instead I simply phrase it in a way that makes him believe I am the one asking. So I questioned if pictures might be possible on Sunday. It ends up no they are not. So I just scrapped the whole idea of a picture table because it's not worth the argument.
My positives for the day, I went to Olive Garden for lunch with a friend/coworker and had my favorite meal of soup, salad and breadsticks. I found out that we get to leave at 3 today. I am taking a check to the guy who is painting and cleaning the condo floors and he gave me 15% off the price using an online coupon from his website. I have Monday off from work. Tomorrow I pick up my dress!!!!!!!!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Shoe Love
Remember in SATC when Carrie is planning her last night on the town with Big and she sees the shoes in the window and her reaction? I think I found the shoes for my dress and while the are not Louboutins they are exactly what I had in my head!!!!!!
HELLO LOVER!!!!!
These beauties are found here. I purchased mine from Off Broadway which is a shoe place that I love!!!! Mine are not the same brand but this is pretty much exactly what they look like.
HELLO LOVER!!!!!
These beauties are found here. I purchased mine from Off Broadway which is a shoe place that I love!!!! Mine are not the same brand but this is pretty much exactly what they look like.
Moving, moving, excercise and plans
Tuesday night I emptied out the few things left in the condo. As I looked at the space that has been my cozy home for the past 6 years a wave of memories swept me. I was able to fit a run in which helps my stress levels and mental health tremendously!!!
I could tell when I got back to my parents that they had talked. The atmosphere was much more relaxed and I could just tell that they must have discussed the fact that I was feeling like an inconvenience. So thankful that now instead of feeling like an outcast I have the support of Mr. Clean and my parents.
Last night I was supposed to take a load to the new house except I sat down and fell asleep. To recap the past few days, Saturday morning I was up at 5:15 (or somewhere around that time) and didn't go to bed until probably around midnight. Sunday I was up at 7:30 and then worked until 9:30 and was up until about 11. I had to be at work at 7, which meant waking up at 5, to leave at 6. Repeat this for Tuesday. The past 5 days caught up with me!! I woke up and let Mr. Clean know I would not be driving up and then went out and sorted through my shoes, unloaded and reloaded the van, and did laundry.
Even with the yard sale and all the clothes and shoes I was able to sell or donate I've found more shoes and more clothes that I will be donating. This is the hard part for me, I can let go of a lot but I have probably now eliminated 2/3rds of my entire collection of clothing and shoes. Believe me there is still quite a bit and I will still have plenty to choose from but I get a little freaked out when I think about the amount I have eliminated. So I try not to think about it.
My mom reminded me that I can swap things out between houses and tried to get me to pull just a few pairs of shoes, our definitions of a few pairs are very different!!! To her a few pairs is 3 or 4 to me a few pairs is 10 or 12…. Not even kidding. I change clothes at least once a day, so that means that I need options, I know I have to work on this.
Now the exciting thing, for me, is the fact that I'm now 3 pounds away from my goal weight. I've seen this number 2 other times in the past 6 years. I have clothes that I held onto in hopes they would fit, and they do. So I'm pulling some favorites back out and I am so happy about this!!!! I had 2 pairs of Limited pants that I bought in 2005, a white pair and a light pink pair, and they are pretty and I refused to let go of them and felt like at some point they might fit again. I tried them on yesterday morning (as I was trying to find clothes that are not so wrinkled that I can get away with wearing to work) THE PANTS FIT. Granted I'm stressed and I know that most likely after everything settles down none of this stuff will fit again and I will finally have to let it go, but I am SO HAPPY that I fit into these pants again!!!
I am trying to come up with a game plan to this time around maintain my goal weight. I have been so spoiled being able to run in my neighborhood and I'm losing this convenience. However this might mean I just do a better job of actually planning workouts, we shall see…
I could tell when I got back to my parents that they had talked. The atmosphere was much more relaxed and I could just tell that they must have discussed the fact that I was feeling like an inconvenience. So thankful that now instead of feeling like an outcast I have the support of Mr. Clean and my parents.
Last night I was supposed to take a load to the new house except I sat down and fell asleep. To recap the past few days, Saturday morning I was up at 5:15 (or somewhere around that time) and didn't go to bed until probably around midnight. Sunday I was up at 7:30 and then worked until 9:30 and was up until about 11. I had to be at work at 7, which meant waking up at 5, to leave at 6. Repeat this for Tuesday. The past 5 days caught up with me!! I woke up and let Mr. Clean know I would not be driving up and then went out and sorted through my shoes, unloaded and reloaded the van, and did laundry.
Even with the yard sale and all the clothes and shoes I was able to sell or donate I've found more shoes and more clothes that I will be donating. This is the hard part for me, I can let go of a lot but I have probably now eliminated 2/3rds of my entire collection of clothing and shoes. Believe me there is still quite a bit and I will still have plenty to choose from but I get a little freaked out when I think about the amount I have eliminated. So I try not to think about it.
My mom reminded me that I can swap things out between houses and tried to get me to pull just a few pairs of shoes, our definitions of a few pairs are very different!!! To her a few pairs is 3 or 4 to me a few pairs is 10 or 12…. Not even kidding. I change clothes at least once a day, so that means that I need options, I know I have to work on this.
Now the exciting thing, for me, is the fact that I'm now 3 pounds away from my goal weight. I've seen this number 2 other times in the past 6 years. I have clothes that I held onto in hopes they would fit, and they do. So I'm pulling some favorites back out and I am so happy about this!!!! I had 2 pairs of Limited pants that I bought in 2005, a white pair and a light pink pair, and they are pretty and I refused to let go of them and felt like at some point they might fit again. I tried them on yesterday morning (as I was trying to find clothes that are not so wrinkled that I can get away with wearing to work) THE PANTS FIT. Granted I'm stressed and I know that most likely after everything settles down none of this stuff will fit again and I will finally have to let it go, but I am SO HAPPY that I fit into these pants again!!!
I am trying to come up with a game plan to this time around maintain my goal weight. I have been so spoiled being able to run in my neighborhood and I'm losing this convenience. However this might mean I just do a better job of actually planning workouts, we shall see…
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
It's a process
Yesterday afternoon I met with the guy who is giving me a quote for painting and a few general repairs. He was very complimentary of my condo, which is always nice! After he left I threw a few more things in my car and drove to my parents where I unloaded what was staying and kept in the car what was going to Mr. Cleans. I took Jack out and took care of him then put him in his crate to wait for Grandma to come home. I knew she would be right behind me so he was going to be spoiled! I left for Mr. Cleans and was able to spend time talking to him last night. I love sitting out on the porch and he purchased me my own citronella lantern to keep the mosquitoes away from me.
This morning this my thoughts were revolving around last night.
Arriving back at my parents last night…I walk in the door and it’s almost 10, of course JB is jumping up and down for joy that I’m home. Mom is in the kitchen, Dad in the living room, I ask how they are. I get the we're good answer.
Mom had mentioned there would be an extra van key on Dad’s dresser or up in the cabinet shelf and I could pull some things out of the van before I drove up to see Mr. Clean last night. I was not able to find the key. Well that’s because Dad had his key, Mom had her key and there is no extra key…
Then Mom says ok well let’s go ahead and get the stuff out of the van. She told me I know you have 3 weeks and no pressure but let’s move this stuff and figure out what is going up to Mr. Clean’s and what you need to sort though. So I comply, because I can just tell that it’s bothering her.We get the stuff out and in the garage, in the space where the van usually goes.
My mom is tired, exhausted, past the point of being tired actually. She was up at 5 Saturday morning, helped me set up, had to help with a memorial service at church, had to take my Grandmother out on Saturday and then Sunday they had church and the rest of the day she worked as hard as I did cleaning and packing up my condo. We come back in and my Dad says something about the van getting sap on it and the fact that he’s not happy that we are not moving the van back into the garage. At which point my mom breaks down in tears.
My Dad is giving my mom a hard time about the fact that I’m bringing all my stuff in and not taking it directly up to Mr. Clean’s. Truthfully I need to sort it because there’s still more I need to pull out and donate. I was not able to do this before now because I had a CIC class and I needed to really focus on that.
My Mom is stressing herself over the wedding, which I knew she would do and she would not listen to me and insisted on having this, so that part I won’t feel guilty over. Usually I don’t push back too hard on my mom over stuff I figure out ways around her, ignore stuff, etc. Unfortunately I’m very well aware that no one I’ve ever dated has been good enough, and no one (in her mind) is ever going to appreciate me, etc. So I heard a few times last night that he better appreciate all that you’re doing.
My mom will do whatever to help me, and she wants everything perfect, because it’s me, whether it’s what I want or not. So I’m trying very hard to just make it easier and since I know that the stuff is driving both my parents crazy I have to make sure to get it all sorted as soon as possible. I am in this limbo and I know having my stuff out of place makes Mr. Clean miserable and it’s making my parents miserable and I don’t really know what to do because I just want everyone to not have to be inconvenienced by me but it just seems like that’s how it’s working.
I’m really trying hard to get rid of as much as possible. I am bad to hold onto things, because I attach memories, and I get that I’m not supposed to do that but I do, I think it’s a girl thing or maybe it’s just me. I emailed Mr. Clean to let him know what is going on regarding the moving and how I feel like I'm an inconvenience to everyone and how out of sorts I feel. I received a response via text that said "I love you, care about you, appreciate you, that’s why I wouldn’t let you put stuff away last night. You’re tired and have done enough. We can put stuff in either the bedroom or garage until we’re married and then deal with it together.” Which made me feel a lot better. He gets it, I just have been trying so hard not to bother anyone and at this point in time I'm going to have to let go of this concern and just get the moving done.
I emailed my Mom regarding the fact that I feel bad about my stuff making Dad unhappy and I wrote out Mr. Clean's text. I got a very typical response from my mom:
" Sissy, I am most concerned about you and don’t want you to be concerned about me. I can cope w/all the stuff because I know you are going to go through it and make decisions. We have been through this before and things will work out.
Dad does understand, he was just hot and tired from working and seeing us do so much and he not feeling up to par to actually help makes him feel bad.
As far as the sap issue, it’s out there and if you park under or even near trees it is going to get on your vehicles. A trip through a car wash will help take most of it off and Dad can do that even if he wants to stand and pre treat before the wash those are things he can do.
I am glad that Mr. Clean realizes how tired you are, I don’t know that he really knows how much you have done and accomplished in the last few days, but at least he is being understanding.
Not many people NEED as many clothes as you have so as you go through them pull out the ones you usually wear in the winter and for special occasions, items you want to keep, those can go on up to your new home. Then go through and choose the ones you are most likely to wear in the next two weeks, those can stay. Then itemize the others, is it really something that you need to keep, could someone else use this more, is it too loose, tight, doesn’t fit right or is the wrong color ( not that black isn’t your all time go to color) Those are the ones that can go w/us to the mountains."
Mom and I determined this morning that the additional stuff that I go through that I decide I don't have to keep I can take with us when we go to pick up my dress on Saturday. There is a school close to Boone called Crossnore. It's a very special place and over the years we have donated quite a bit to their thrift store. They sort through donations and pull out whatever meets any needs that the kids have and whatever doesn't fill a current need is sold in the thrift store and the fund benefit the school.
I took an early lunch and met with my property manager. Fingers crossed the right renter finds my place very very soon!!!!
This morning this my thoughts were revolving around last night.
Arriving back at my parents last night…I walk in the door and it’s almost 10, of course JB is jumping up and down for joy that I’m home. Mom is in the kitchen, Dad in the living room, I ask how they are. I get the we're good answer.
Mom had mentioned there would be an extra van key on Dad’s dresser or up in the cabinet shelf and I could pull some things out of the van before I drove up to see Mr. Clean last night. I was not able to find the key. Well that’s because Dad had his key, Mom had her key and there is no extra key…
Then Mom says ok well let’s go ahead and get the stuff out of the van. She told me I know you have 3 weeks and no pressure but let’s move this stuff and figure out what is going up to Mr. Clean’s and what you need to sort though. So I comply, because I can just tell that it’s bothering her.We get the stuff out and in the garage, in the space where the van usually goes.
My mom is tired, exhausted, past the point of being tired actually. She was up at 5 Saturday morning, helped me set up, had to help with a memorial service at church, had to take my Grandmother out on Saturday and then Sunday they had church and the rest of the day she worked as hard as I did cleaning and packing up my condo. We come back in and my Dad says something about the van getting sap on it and the fact that he’s not happy that we are not moving the van back into the garage. At which point my mom breaks down in tears.
My Dad is giving my mom a hard time about the fact that I’m bringing all my stuff in and not taking it directly up to Mr. Clean’s. Truthfully I need to sort it because there’s still more I need to pull out and donate. I was not able to do this before now because I had a CIC class and I needed to really focus on that.
My Mom is stressing herself over the wedding, which I knew she would do and she would not listen to me and insisted on having this, so that part I won’t feel guilty over. Usually I don’t push back too hard on my mom over stuff I figure out ways around her, ignore stuff, etc. Unfortunately I’m very well aware that no one I’ve ever dated has been good enough, and no one (in her mind) is ever going to appreciate me, etc. So I heard a few times last night that he better appreciate all that you’re doing.
My mom will do whatever to help me, and she wants everything perfect, because it’s me, whether it’s what I want or not. So I’m trying very hard to just make it easier and since I know that the stuff is driving both my parents crazy I have to make sure to get it all sorted as soon as possible. I am in this limbo and I know having my stuff out of place makes Mr. Clean miserable and it’s making my parents miserable and I don’t really know what to do because I just want everyone to not have to be inconvenienced by me but it just seems like that’s how it’s working.
I’m really trying hard to get rid of as much as possible. I am bad to hold onto things, because I attach memories, and I get that I’m not supposed to do that but I do, I think it’s a girl thing or maybe it’s just me. I emailed Mr. Clean to let him know what is going on regarding the moving and how I feel like I'm an inconvenience to everyone and how out of sorts I feel. I received a response via text that said "I love you, care about you, appreciate you, that’s why I wouldn’t let you put stuff away last night. You’re tired and have done enough. We can put stuff in either the bedroom or garage until we’re married and then deal with it together.” Which made me feel a lot better. He gets it, I just have been trying so hard not to bother anyone and at this point in time I'm going to have to let go of this concern and just get the moving done.
I emailed my Mom regarding the fact that I feel bad about my stuff making Dad unhappy and I wrote out Mr. Clean's text. I got a very typical response from my mom:
" Sissy, I am most concerned about you and don’t want you to be concerned about me. I can cope w/all the stuff because I know you are going to go through it and make decisions. We have been through this before and things will work out.
Dad does understand, he was just hot and tired from working and seeing us do so much and he not feeling up to par to actually help makes him feel bad.
As far as the sap issue, it’s out there and if you park under or even near trees it is going to get on your vehicles. A trip through a car wash will help take most of it off and Dad can do that even if he wants to stand and pre treat before the wash those are things he can do.
I am glad that Mr. Clean realizes how tired you are, I don’t know that he really knows how much you have done and accomplished in the last few days, but at least he is being understanding.
Not many people NEED as many clothes as you have so as you go through them pull out the ones you usually wear in the winter and for special occasions, items you want to keep, those can go on up to your new home. Then go through and choose the ones you are most likely to wear in the next two weeks, those can stay. Then itemize the others, is it really something that you need to keep, could someone else use this more, is it too loose, tight, doesn’t fit right or is the wrong color ( not that black isn’t your all time go to color) Those are the ones that can go w/us to the mountains."
Mom and I determined this morning that the additional stuff that I go through that I decide I don't have to keep I can take with us when we go to pick up my dress on Saturday. There is a school close to Boone called Crossnore. It's a very special place and over the years we have donated quite a bit to their thrift store. They sort through donations and pull out whatever meets any needs that the kids have and whatever doesn't fill a current need is sold in the thrift store and the fund benefit the school.
I took an early lunch and met with my property manager. Fingers crossed the right renter finds my place very very soon!!!!
Monday, May 23, 2011
Weekend in Review
Friday night I took Jack Banner on a final run through my beautiful neighborhood. We ran my 4 mile loop. I have pictures and will post those once I charge my phone and can send the pictures to my email. After our run I took a quick shower. I pulled all the stuff out of my shower and put it in a bag to take to my parents. I loaded my car up with what I could fit and took a load over to my parents.
My mom had dinner waiting for me and helped me unload the car. She and my Dad were coming the following morning to help me set up for the moving sale. I drove back to my condo to try and organize the stuff for the morning. My phone rang at 5:20 on Saturday morning and it was my mom saying they were 5 minutes away. I was still in bed so I jumped up threw on some clothes and took Jack out.
My parents set up the tables and then my Dad kept guard and Jack while Mom and I loaded the van with my stuff. Then we unloaded and while my mom set that up I went back and loaded up more stuff then the last little bit my friend NH and I just carried. The sale was set to start at 7 but of course I had shoppers at 6:30 I told my mom to sell anyways. She and my Dad left and as I would sell something I would fill it in. I also brought out my canvas wardrobe and hung clothes up in it to better display them.
When it was all said and done I made money but fell $20 short of my goal. However I had gone through my clothes to pull clothes for my Godsister so I think I could have made more if I had put more out there. I only took 3 bags of clothes and 3 boxes to the donation place. I also had some things that I had determined I would not accept less then a certain amount for. The only article that fell into this category that I did not sell was Jack's exercise pen from when he was a baby. I purchased it so that he would have a large enough area for both a puppy pad and a crate. It worked well until he realized he could jump it and that was when I got him a large crate for the day. I paid $100 I was asking $5 people were trying to pay less. Here is what my thought process was, if you have a dog and you are not willing to spend even $5 for this pen then you DO NOT deserve to have a dog. I gave the pen to my friend NH to take to the humane society. I would rather donate that item and know that the animals will be well taken care of then sell it and contribute to animal cruelty or neglect. Stepping off soap box now…
I did get to spend a little time with Mr. Clean and Girl Clean before I had to be at the restaurant. I was only supposed to work til 9 but flaky hostess flaked and that meant I was there until 10, fortunately not til 11 that I could not have handled.
Yesterday I was at my condo at 8:40 and started cleaning and moving. I worked from 8:40 until 8:40. The morning I was on my own and got the living room and bathroom done and the van loaded with stuff. I took a lunch break around 2:40 to take a load to my parents house, unloaded, grabbed lunch then my mom rode back with me. We finished the 2 bedrooms and kitchen and loaded the van. There is just one load left and then it will be completely empty and ready for the new renter. I cleaned out the bathroom cabinets, took down the light fixtures, and cleaned every base board in the house as well as every door. My mom cleaned out the kitchen cabinets for me. I broke my rule about eating late because my Dad ordered a pizza for us to pick up on our way back and I held that steaming hot fresh pizza from the pizza place home and I was STARVING!!!!
I could not have done all that without my mom's help. I did have to hear the are you really sure question. I also hear the this is really sad, are you really sure. But she was also there helping me and was there the day before helping me so whether she agrees or not she's certainly going to stand behind me.
I hope everyone has a fabulous Monday!!!!
My mom had dinner waiting for me and helped me unload the car. She and my Dad were coming the following morning to help me set up for the moving sale. I drove back to my condo to try and organize the stuff for the morning. My phone rang at 5:20 on Saturday morning and it was my mom saying they were 5 minutes away. I was still in bed so I jumped up threw on some clothes and took Jack out.
My parents set up the tables and then my Dad kept guard and Jack while Mom and I loaded the van with my stuff. Then we unloaded and while my mom set that up I went back and loaded up more stuff then the last little bit my friend NH and I just carried. The sale was set to start at 7 but of course I had shoppers at 6:30 I told my mom to sell anyways. She and my Dad left and as I would sell something I would fill it in. I also brought out my canvas wardrobe and hung clothes up in it to better display them.
When it was all said and done I made money but fell $20 short of my goal. However I had gone through my clothes to pull clothes for my Godsister so I think I could have made more if I had put more out there. I only took 3 bags of clothes and 3 boxes to the donation place. I also had some things that I had determined I would not accept less then a certain amount for. The only article that fell into this category that I did not sell was Jack's exercise pen from when he was a baby. I purchased it so that he would have a large enough area for both a puppy pad and a crate. It worked well until he realized he could jump it and that was when I got him a large crate for the day. I paid $100 I was asking $5 people were trying to pay less. Here is what my thought process was, if you have a dog and you are not willing to spend even $5 for this pen then you DO NOT deserve to have a dog. I gave the pen to my friend NH to take to the humane society. I would rather donate that item and know that the animals will be well taken care of then sell it and contribute to animal cruelty or neglect. Stepping off soap box now…
I did get to spend a little time with Mr. Clean and Girl Clean before I had to be at the restaurant. I was only supposed to work til 9 but flaky hostess flaked and that meant I was there until 10, fortunately not til 11 that I could not have handled.
Yesterday I was at my condo at 8:40 and started cleaning and moving. I worked from 8:40 until 8:40. The morning I was on my own and got the living room and bathroom done and the van loaded with stuff. I took a lunch break around 2:40 to take a load to my parents house, unloaded, grabbed lunch then my mom rode back with me. We finished the 2 bedrooms and kitchen and loaded the van. There is just one load left and then it will be completely empty and ready for the new renter. I cleaned out the bathroom cabinets, took down the light fixtures, and cleaned every base board in the house as well as every door. My mom cleaned out the kitchen cabinets for me. I broke my rule about eating late because my Dad ordered a pizza for us to pick up on our way back and I held that steaming hot fresh pizza from the pizza place home and I was STARVING!!!!
I could not have done all that without my mom's help. I did have to hear the are you really sure question. I also hear the this is really sad, are you really sure. But she was also there helping me and was there the day before helping me so whether she agrees or not she's certainly going to stand behind me.
I hope everyone has a fabulous Monday!!!!
Friday, May 20, 2011
signs, reminiscing, frogs, bands, falling into place
It's Friday, somehow, because in the chaos of the week I’m just amazed at how fast the time went…
Yesterday I sent Mr. Clean a message and reminded him that if he really wanted to see me he could come help me with the signs for the yard sale, but that I also understand that he has a full day and it is a drive in between our houses. He arrived at my condo shortly after I did and helped me with the signs. He painted them and helped me put them on the stands and then headed back because he still had a lot to do. I was so very appreciative for his help!! I knew he had a lot to still get done but he came down and helped me and it went SO much faster!!! I got the signs out last night. This evening I will post the next craig list ad so it goes out and people read about all the loot!!!!
When I was home at lunch today Jack was out in front of my building doing his business and I got a little weepy. I started thinking about the 25 year old woman who purchased the place 6 years ago. I thought about all that has happened and how far she has come. I realized that she never thought she would be there so long and never know how much she would see and do and eventually she would be ok with being on her own only to have the next man be the frog prince who grew legs.
Speaking of frogs, on my way to my parents on Wednesday night to take a load of stuff I had a thought. My friends and family have given me little frog ornaments over the years, I have lots of really cute ones!! I realized that it would be fun to have these on the tables at the reception. So I called my mom while they were at dinner just to tell her this, so we wouldn't forget.
Unfortunately Mr. Clean and I will not see much of each other this weekend. He has girl clean and I have the yard sale, followed by work, and then Sunday I plan to clean my place. I meet with the property management company on Monday. The good news is I know I will see him more next week. In the interim between me moving out of my condo and into his house I will be staying at my parents. Jack Banner is going to be ridiculously spoiled, but well taken care of.
It's crazy the amount of stuff we have between the two of us!! My fingers are crossed that most of it moves in this yard sale!!
We finally decided on a band for me. It's a very simple 3 bands linked together band and I found it I really liked it. When he and I started looking at rings we looked at a lot of different types of rings. I had stated at the beginning when he asked me about a ring that I just needed a band. What I meant was a plain, some type of metal, band. I have never needed anything fancy and never equated the amount of love that someone has for me with the size of the diamond they would buy me. It's certainly special and will last a lifetime but love shouldn't be measured by the amount of money spent. The flip side is if you are just plain cheap then that's not acceptable either, I know double standard on my part but in my mind there is a difference between being tight and being responsible.
The ring we agreed on that he gave me was given as a promise that when he could he would purchase something more. We picked my ring out together and it's a Tac0ri ring, which I've always loved their rings!! It's from QVC. Whenever people see my ring, because it is so beautiful, they think it's real, and it is real, just not a real mined diamond. I finally had to tell him that I just feel guilty wearing it, and asked that my band just be a simple, plain metal band. I find it interesting the reaction that people have to my ring, Charlotte is a money city. I work in a money restaurant. There is something about a piece of jewelry that elicits comments and I'm just not comfortable with it. I had no idea when we picked out my ring that I would feel so weird about it and feel like I need a disclaimer tattoo beside it. I feel like I'm lying by ommission or something along these lines.
We have agreed that I will save my ring for special occasions, or I may just wear it on my right hand and then I will wear the band we picked out as my wedding band. He and I have talked about the fact that the bands are not what make us married; they are just a symbol so that others know we are taken.
I love pretty things, clothes, shoes, jewelry. I've usually been the one to purchase my own clothes and shoes for special occasions. I absolutely think when it's a special occasion something special should be purchased. I also believe that if you don't have the money the something special purchased does not have to be anything exorbitantly expensive. It's the thought that matters and the motive behind it not the actual item itself. I don't pay full retail very often, for anything. Maybe jeans every once in a while, definitely Old Navy sundresses, but that's about it, it's a short list!! Someday I will have a different ring, until then I'll have 2 beautiful rings!!!
Everything for life after the wedding as well as the wedding is falling into place so beautifully. Our families liked each other. His place is being put together. My place is going to be empty and cleaned and ready for someone to rent it out. Life is moving forward and while it's happening rather quickly, I am enjoying watching everything fall into place!!!!
Yesterday I sent Mr. Clean a message and reminded him that if he really wanted to see me he could come help me with the signs for the yard sale, but that I also understand that he has a full day and it is a drive in between our houses. He arrived at my condo shortly after I did and helped me with the signs. He painted them and helped me put them on the stands and then headed back because he still had a lot to do. I was so very appreciative for his help!! I knew he had a lot to still get done but he came down and helped me and it went SO much faster!!! I got the signs out last night. This evening I will post the next craig list ad so it goes out and people read about all the loot!!!!
When I was home at lunch today Jack was out in front of my building doing his business and I got a little weepy. I started thinking about the 25 year old woman who purchased the place 6 years ago. I thought about all that has happened and how far she has come. I realized that she never thought she would be there so long and never know how much she would see and do and eventually she would be ok with being on her own only to have the next man be the frog prince who grew legs.
Speaking of frogs, on my way to my parents on Wednesday night to take a load of stuff I had a thought. My friends and family have given me little frog ornaments over the years, I have lots of really cute ones!! I realized that it would be fun to have these on the tables at the reception. So I called my mom while they were at dinner just to tell her this, so we wouldn't forget.
Unfortunately Mr. Clean and I will not see much of each other this weekend. He has girl clean and I have the yard sale, followed by work, and then Sunday I plan to clean my place. I meet with the property management company on Monday. The good news is I know I will see him more next week. In the interim between me moving out of my condo and into his house I will be staying at my parents. Jack Banner is going to be ridiculously spoiled, but well taken care of.
It's crazy the amount of stuff we have between the two of us!! My fingers are crossed that most of it moves in this yard sale!!
We finally decided on a band for me. It's a very simple 3 bands linked together band and I found it I really liked it. When he and I started looking at rings we looked at a lot of different types of rings. I had stated at the beginning when he asked me about a ring that I just needed a band. What I meant was a plain, some type of metal, band. I have never needed anything fancy and never equated the amount of love that someone has for me with the size of the diamond they would buy me. It's certainly special and will last a lifetime but love shouldn't be measured by the amount of money spent. The flip side is if you are just plain cheap then that's not acceptable either, I know double standard on my part but in my mind there is a difference between being tight and being responsible.
The ring we agreed on that he gave me was given as a promise that when he could he would purchase something more. We picked my ring out together and it's a Tac0ri ring, which I've always loved their rings!! It's from QVC. Whenever people see my ring, because it is so beautiful, they think it's real, and it is real, just not a real mined diamond. I finally had to tell him that I just feel guilty wearing it, and asked that my band just be a simple, plain metal band. I find it interesting the reaction that people have to my ring, Charlotte is a money city. I work in a money restaurant. There is something about a piece of jewelry that elicits comments and I'm just not comfortable with it. I had no idea when we picked out my ring that I would feel so weird about it and feel like I need a disclaimer tattoo beside it. I feel like I'm lying by ommission or something along these lines.
We have agreed that I will save my ring for special occasions, or I may just wear it on my right hand and then I will wear the band we picked out as my wedding band. He and I have talked about the fact that the bands are not what make us married; they are just a symbol so that others know we are taken.
I love pretty things, clothes, shoes, jewelry. I've usually been the one to purchase my own clothes and shoes for special occasions. I absolutely think when it's a special occasion something special should be purchased. I also believe that if you don't have the money the something special purchased does not have to be anything exorbitantly expensive. It's the thought that matters and the motive behind it not the actual item itself. I don't pay full retail very often, for anything. Maybe jeans every once in a while, definitely Old Navy sundresses, but that's about it, it's a short list!! Someday I will have a different ring, until then I'll have 2 beautiful rings!!!
Everything for life after the wedding as well as the wedding is falling into place so beautifully. Our families liked each other. His place is being put together. My place is going to be empty and cleaned and ready for someone to rent it out. Life is moving forward and while it's happening rather quickly, I am enjoying watching everything fall into place!!!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
I have will power I do I do....
I get emails from Zulily, they have some of the CUTEST kid clothing!!!!! Today they sent my email and I found these.....
These I picked because I sent them to Mr. Clean because they all have purple and orange which are our wedding colors. I've already got Girl Clean's dress but these are SO PRECIOUS!!!! They are also more then my set limit for what I spend on kid clothing, but it's taking a lot of will power right now!!!!
These I picked because I sent them to Mr. Clean because they all have purple and orange which are our wedding colors. I've already got Girl Clean's dress but these are SO PRECIOUS!!!! They are also more then my set limit for what I spend on kid clothing, but it's taking a lot of will power right now!!!!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Mid-Week
It's Wednesday already, how this happened I have no idea!!!
I looked at my Kohls cash that I received after my online matress purchase, it was $130 worth of Kohls cash, $130 worth for FREE STUFF just last week I was looking at $130 worth of stuff. It expired on 5/15, I missed that, this is an indicator of how loopy I am. HOW do you miss $130 of FREE money to spend at one of my favorite places????
I have 6 thank you notes left to write and address, that is all. I figure I was so blessed by the gifts the sooner I got my thank you notes out the more greatful I would seem, maybe I'm just crazy, which is possible.
I don't understand craig list (yes I know how to spell it I'm choosing not to) I need to post an add on there and I went to do this and I think I'm going to have to post under each area of things that I'm selling, YUCK. The good part my friend sent me the add wording from her sale so I have a template to use!!!
I was driving back to work on my lunch thinking. One decision to give e harmony a try one more time. One decision to put my heart on the line and go on a date with someone who has a little girl again. One decision to not turn the car around and drive home and stand him up. One answer when he asked me to marry him. I am realistic enough to know that there will be way more than one disagreement. I understand that no one is perfect. I have enough life experience to know that life isn't always fair, it doesn't always go your way, and sometimes we wonder why. I also know that I found my full circle version of the one I have been waiting for!
Happy Wednesday everyone!!!
I looked at my Kohls cash that I received after my online matress purchase, it was $130 worth of Kohls cash, $130 worth for FREE STUFF just last week I was looking at $130 worth of stuff. It expired on 5/15, I missed that, this is an indicator of how loopy I am. HOW do you miss $130 of FREE money to spend at one of my favorite places????
I have 6 thank you notes left to write and address, that is all. I figure I was so blessed by the gifts the sooner I got my thank you notes out the more greatful I would seem, maybe I'm just crazy, which is possible.
I don't understand craig list (yes I know how to spell it I'm choosing not to) I need to post an add on there and I went to do this and I think I'm going to have to post under each area of things that I'm selling, YUCK. The good part my friend sent me the add wording from her sale so I have a template to use!!!
I was driving back to work on my lunch thinking. One decision to give e harmony a try one more time. One decision to put my heart on the line and go on a date with someone who has a little girl again. One decision to not turn the car around and drive home and stand him up. One answer when he asked me to marry him. I am realistic enough to know that there will be way more than one disagreement. I understand that no one is perfect. I have enough life experience to know that life isn't always fair, it doesn't always go your way, and sometimes we wonder why. I also know that I found my full circle version of the one I have been waiting for!
Happy Wednesday everyone!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
OVERWHELMED
I was out of the office Wednesday after lunch until Monday. I went into Saturday with 3 hours of sleep. I slept in til 8:30 on Sunday morning. I agreed to work at the restaurant last night.
My email inbox this morning was 2 weeks back, meaning I had let endorsements sit past the 5 day required time. I have 9 renewals for September meaning I need to get 3 done a week for the next 3 weeks. This is on top of the new business quotes and continually incoming endorsement requests. I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it's overwhelming.
I would love to go run, instead I'm blogging for a minute. I have got to get everything put together for my moving sale on Saturday. I have got to finish my thank you notes. The list of things to do grows and I feel like I can't get my head above water.
The positive. I'm almost there. It's almost time. I talked to the flower lady today and I'm super excited. The lady who does the flowers for my restaurant is going to make sure to have lots of purple and orange flowers on Friday the 10th. She is always at the farmers market on Friday mornings so my Mom and I have plans to go and pick up flowers for the following day.
When I think about how blessed I am I start to cry, this is because I still have not had nearly enough sleep and I am still sacrificing sleep in order to get everything done. I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding while addressing thank you notes and started to cry a few times, at the BEGINNING of the movie, yes for real. I texted Mr. Clean that it's positive that I got to do our invitations and that I made sure both his parents names were correctly spelled!! Oh and I got to say that I liked my bridesmaids dress. He texted back that everything will be beautiful, and it will be, probably. If it's not I really don't care that much. My shower way outdid anything I could have ever expected and she didn't have any games. I HATE shower games and I was so very happy that she bypassed all that.
I better get back to what I have to do. I'm reading everyones posting I'm just not the greatest commenter at this point in time!
My email inbox this morning was 2 weeks back, meaning I had let endorsements sit past the 5 day required time. I have 9 renewals for September meaning I need to get 3 done a week for the next 3 weeks. This is on top of the new business quotes and continually incoming endorsement requests. I know this doesn't make a whole lot of sense but it's overwhelming.
I would love to go run, instead I'm blogging for a minute. I have got to get everything put together for my moving sale on Saturday. I have got to finish my thank you notes. The list of things to do grows and I feel like I can't get my head above water.
The positive. I'm almost there. It's almost time. I talked to the flower lady today and I'm super excited. The lady who does the flowers for my restaurant is going to make sure to have lots of purple and orange flowers on Friday the 10th. She is always at the farmers market on Friday mornings so my Mom and I have plans to go and pick up flowers for the following day.
When I think about how blessed I am I start to cry, this is because I still have not had nearly enough sleep and I am still sacrificing sleep in order to get everything done. I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding while addressing thank you notes and started to cry a few times, at the BEGINNING of the movie, yes for real. I texted Mr. Clean that it's positive that I got to do our invitations and that I made sure both his parents names were correctly spelled!! Oh and I got to say that I liked my bridesmaids dress. He texted back that everything will be beautiful, and it will be, probably. If it's not I really don't care that much. My shower way outdid anything I could have ever expected and she didn't have any games. I HATE shower games and I was so very happy that she bypassed all that.
I better get back to what I have to do. I'm reading everyones posting I'm just not the greatest commenter at this point in time!
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Weekend test and some fun stuff too
I was up til 3 on Saturday morning. Then I was up at 6 in order to go ahead and have my makeup mostly done for the shower that was happening later on in the day. I hope I passed, I knew the information but I was kind of delirious, a little bit. It was commercial property, commercial endorsements, time element, inland marine and mechanical breakdown. It's what I do so even though it might sound boring I am a nerd and I did enjoy the learning process just not the studying for the 20 question all essay exam.
After I left the test I drove home and threw stuff in a bag and Jack in the car and headed up to see Mr. Clean. We had not seen each other ALL week and I had missed him!!!! We hung out for an hour and then he followed me to Miss Kay's parent's house. He met Miss Kay for the first time and my sister Jelly was already there so they said hi to each other. He left to see girl clean and I was handed a glass of champagne, it took 2 for my voice to come back. Yes I have a lovely habit of losing my voice when I'm overly tired, stressed, or both. It was wonderful to see my friend and catch up with her. She looked so beautiful and she and her Mom and sister outdid themselves on the decorations and loveliness that was my bridal shower!!!!
Family and friends started arriving, and the love that was in the house was amazing. I'm truly truly blessed when it comes to the love that is shown and I was so thankful for the friends and family who were all there for me to celebrate my upcoming wedding. Hailey has wonderful pictures from the day, I am delighted that she was able to be there and for her pictures, her post made me cry a little. Funny anecdote I texted Miss Kay after my test and said fair warning I'm operating on 3 hours sleep and I have a roller coaster case of PMS. She texted back that she has been on a diet and it's making her crazy and we'll be the quite the pair. I texted back and said we always are. I was actually very composed for all the moments of my shower, I didn't dare read the cards til after the party when I was just with Mr. Clean. Miss Kay had a moment right when we sat down for presents, or as Mr. Clean calls them, prizes. I introduced everyone and then began opening gifts. We were blessed by our friends and family!!
My friend KH came to my shower, and this was a very big deal! She had emailed me regarding the engagement and concerns that she has and I had responded and we had talked about everything. Her card said for better or worse, in sickness and health I will always call you friend. Also in attendance was CF&G's mom. There has never been a question that AE, AES and AFP would be invited despite how they came into my life I have loved them and been a part of the moments of life so without question they would be a part of mine. My 4th, 5th and 8th grade teachers were there, my friend NH and my college roomie and my friend VB and just so many others and it was truly an amazing time for me!!!
After the shower I drove back to Concord for church with Mr. Clean. I arrived and JB had refused to pee for Mr. Clean and therefor had dribbled throughout the living room. So he was in his crate. I know once we move he'll acclimate it's just hard on him right now.
Today I was able to spend the entire day with Mr. Clean. It was wonderful!!! I didn't run this morning despite my best intentions. I meant to eat yesterday but never really got around to it. The piece of cake at my shower I sat down and never got back to so I had a total of 4 bites, very bummed about this!!! The good news is I'll have cake again at my reception made by the same lady so I have just a few weeks til I can enjoy my frosting again!!!! We went to Kohls to return some things then Concord Mills to pre-shop bed bath and beyond and then look for bands for my ring. We've been told we are not allowed to use anything from the shower until after the wedding, major bummer, but patience is a virtue!!
It's been an amazing day, and a wonderful start to the week!!!!
After I left the test I drove home and threw stuff in a bag and Jack in the car and headed up to see Mr. Clean. We had not seen each other ALL week and I had missed him!!!! We hung out for an hour and then he followed me to Miss Kay's parent's house. He met Miss Kay for the first time and my sister Jelly was already there so they said hi to each other. He left to see girl clean and I was handed a glass of champagne, it took 2 for my voice to come back. Yes I have a lovely habit of losing my voice when I'm overly tired, stressed, or both. It was wonderful to see my friend and catch up with her. She looked so beautiful and she and her Mom and sister outdid themselves on the decorations and loveliness that was my bridal shower!!!!
Family and friends started arriving, and the love that was in the house was amazing. I'm truly truly blessed when it comes to the love that is shown and I was so thankful for the friends and family who were all there for me to celebrate my upcoming wedding. Hailey has wonderful pictures from the day, I am delighted that she was able to be there and for her pictures, her post made me cry a little. Funny anecdote I texted Miss Kay after my test and said fair warning I'm operating on 3 hours sleep and I have a roller coaster case of PMS. She texted back that she has been on a diet and it's making her crazy and we'll be the quite the pair. I texted back and said we always are. I was actually very composed for all the moments of my shower, I didn't dare read the cards til after the party when I was just with Mr. Clean. Miss Kay had a moment right when we sat down for presents, or as Mr. Clean calls them, prizes. I introduced everyone and then began opening gifts. We were blessed by our friends and family!!
My friend KH came to my shower, and this was a very big deal! She had emailed me regarding the engagement and concerns that she has and I had responded and we had talked about everything. Her card said for better or worse, in sickness and health I will always call you friend. Also in attendance was CF&G's mom. There has never been a question that AE, AES and AFP would be invited despite how they came into my life I have loved them and been a part of the moments of life so without question they would be a part of mine. My 4th, 5th and 8th grade teachers were there, my friend NH and my college roomie and my friend VB and just so many others and it was truly an amazing time for me!!!
After the shower I drove back to Concord for church with Mr. Clean. I arrived and JB had refused to pee for Mr. Clean and therefor had dribbled throughout the living room. So he was in his crate. I know once we move he'll acclimate it's just hard on him right now.
Today I was able to spend the entire day with Mr. Clean. It was wonderful!!! I didn't run this morning despite my best intentions. I meant to eat yesterday but never really got around to it. The piece of cake at my shower I sat down and never got back to so I had a total of 4 bites, very bummed about this!!! The good news is I'll have cake again at my reception made by the same lady so I have just a few weeks til I can enjoy my frosting again!!!! We went to Kohls to return some things then Concord Mills to pre-shop bed bath and beyond and then look for bands for my ring. We've been told we are not allowed to use anything from the shower until after the wedding, major bummer, but patience is a virtue!!
It's been an amazing day, and a wonderful start to the week!!!!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
I should be studying
I have my all essay exam tomorrow morning starting at 8am and it's currently 1:33am. I've studied and I know I know the material but all essay means I have to be able to do more then just answer yes no or true false questions but I actually have to explain and defend my answers. It's on commercial property and inland marine, fun stuff, and actually because I'm a nerd I really do enjoy it. I will not be quite so positive if I don't pass and I say goodbye to the $400 I won't be reimbursed for, if I do not pass.
Tomorrow after my test I may be picking up girl clean I may not but regardless I will be going to my shower. Miss Kay has planned a shower and I am the guest of honor. While I'm excited and blessed that she planned this for me I had stated that I did not want a shower because Mr. Clean and I chose not to register. We have so much already we felt it was unnecessary. Since it's happening I'm rolling with it and looking forward to it!
I called my mom this morning to check on Jack. He has been at my parents since Monday evening. I missed him so much I went over this evening and picked him up. He's been asleep next to me the rest of this evening. So this morning when I called to check on him I asked my mom a question I've been pondering since the beginning of the week. Mom, why do we need boutonnière and corsages? I honestly think they are kind of ugly and definitely a pain to deal with. My mom, but I like them. At which point I said ok whatever if you want to pay for them go ahead. Well but no it's your wedding. I said it doesn't matter it's not a big deal.
Last year when Bean and Jelly got married I told my Mom that she could do whatever she wanted for my wedding but she had to leave them alone. Little did I realize that 9 months later I would meet my frog prince and then have to actually keep my word and let my Mom do whatever she wanted. I really don't have to, but it's just easier. Then today I get the and we'll go set up the center on Friday morning. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See the whole thing is I don't want to have to set up, I don't want to have to think about that, I just don't care. I'm thrilled and delighted to marry Mr. Clean, I just don't want the hassle of having to set up the reception. This is part of why I didn't want a wedding, I don't want to have to deal with this part and I knew I would get stuck and be obligated to help, because that's how my mom is. She's recruiting her friends to help at the reception, my brother is horrified. To be perfectly honest I'm not delighted by it either, but whatever.
When it's all said and done I will be happily married, and my Mom will have something to talk about with her friends for weeks to come. She will have plenty to say about whatever I did or did not do, and as long as I don't have to hear it I don't care. I sound ungrateful and I don't mean to I love my mom it's just she is meeting every expectation I had for how this would all play out.
Tomorrow after my test I may be picking up girl clean I may not but regardless I will be going to my shower. Miss Kay has planned a shower and I am the guest of honor. While I'm excited and blessed that she planned this for me I had stated that I did not want a shower because Mr. Clean and I chose not to register. We have so much already we felt it was unnecessary. Since it's happening I'm rolling with it and looking forward to it!
I called my mom this morning to check on Jack. He has been at my parents since Monday evening. I missed him so much I went over this evening and picked him up. He's been asleep next to me the rest of this evening. So this morning when I called to check on him I asked my mom a question I've been pondering since the beginning of the week. Mom, why do we need boutonnière and corsages? I honestly think they are kind of ugly and definitely a pain to deal with. My mom, but I like them. At which point I said ok whatever if you want to pay for them go ahead. Well but no it's your wedding. I said it doesn't matter it's not a big deal.
Last year when Bean and Jelly got married I told my Mom that she could do whatever she wanted for my wedding but she had to leave them alone. Little did I realize that 9 months later I would meet my frog prince and then have to actually keep my word and let my Mom do whatever she wanted. I really don't have to, but it's just easier. Then today I get the and we'll go set up the center on Friday morning. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See the whole thing is I don't want to have to set up, I don't want to have to think about that, I just don't care. I'm thrilled and delighted to marry Mr. Clean, I just don't want the hassle of having to set up the reception. This is part of why I didn't want a wedding, I don't want to have to deal with this part and I knew I would get stuck and be obligated to help, because that's how my mom is. She's recruiting her friends to help at the reception, my brother is horrified. To be perfectly honest I'm not delighted by it either, but whatever.
When it's all said and done I will be happily married, and my Mom will have something to talk about with her friends for weeks to come. She will have plenty to say about whatever I did or did not do, and as long as I don't have to hear it I don't care. I sound ungrateful and I don't mean to I love my mom it's just she is meeting every expectation I had for how this would all play out.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Thought Form
Yesterday roofers started putting a new roof on my building. I didn't expect them to start on my building first so I thought Jack would be ok. Puppy Mom fail!!!!! My poor dog is now having stomach issues because of the excitement of hearing people walk around on the roof all day long. After walking him yesterday afternoon I took him to my parents house to stay for the week. He was already scheduled to stay with the Grandparents but I just bumped it up a day so he would not be further traumatized.
Yesterday afternoon was beautiful and I enjoyed my walk. It helped to stretch my legs. I ran 5 miles on Sunday, the longest distance I've run since early April. It's amazing how so many weeks off catches up with you so fast. I'm still sore 2 days later.
My wedding is coming up in 32 days, and I want to eat everything in sight... Part of this is the fact that I have pms this week and I know it's contributing. However my willpower is not nearly where I need it to be. Lack of sleep is probably adding to this condition. Easter week I was about 2 pounds away from my goal weight, I think right now I'm about 5 or 7 depending. If I had to guess I would say by my wedding day I will probably be at my goal weight, maybe. Then I say goal weight and I start thinking well maybe I should lower that weight... Mr. Clean has informed me that he loves me as I am and that I do not need to change and that I need to just be healthy, easy for him to say he's a guy.
I'm aware that I'm taking on 2 roles, officially the day of my wedding but I am mentally preparing for the mom role. It's a unique position when you love a child as your own yet know that they are not yours. I have thought many times about all that has happened in my life to bring to this place and this understanding and how well prepared I am in some ways and how in others there's just no way to know how it will all play out. I am delighted that I am marrying the one I've been waiting for, and I am blessed that he comes as a package deal. His Mama told my Mama on Sunday night after everyone else had left that she has seen a side of her son that she has never seen before, in a good way. My mom is way more positive about things after Sunday nights dinner!!!
Mr. Clean and I had talked about going ahead and having a ceremony in the pastors office and then having a renewal on the day that is being planned. Mr. Clean told me that he knows how important it is for me to start things out on the right foot and how he wants to start things out on the right foot and he knows that if we did that then it would hurt my parents feelings, and make the day less special for me. So we won't be going that route although a big part of me really wanted to, he's right it takes away from the specialness of the day that is being planned.
I've met the man who I can (literally) sit out on the front porch and talk to for hours. I am blessed!
Yesterday afternoon was beautiful and I enjoyed my walk. It helped to stretch my legs. I ran 5 miles on Sunday, the longest distance I've run since early April. It's amazing how so many weeks off catches up with you so fast. I'm still sore 2 days later.
My wedding is coming up in 32 days, and I want to eat everything in sight... Part of this is the fact that I have pms this week and I know it's contributing. However my willpower is not nearly where I need it to be. Lack of sleep is probably adding to this condition. Easter week I was about 2 pounds away from my goal weight, I think right now I'm about 5 or 7 depending. If I had to guess I would say by my wedding day I will probably be at my goal weight, maybe. Then I say goal weight and I start thinking well maybe I should lower that weight... Mr. Clean has informed me that he loves me as I am and that I do not need to change and that I need to just be healthy, easy for him to say he's a guy.
I'm aware that I'm taking on 2 roles, officially the day of my wedding but I am mentally preparing for the mom role. It's a unique position when you love a child as your own yet know that they are not yours. I have thought many times about all that has happened in my life to bring to this place and this understanding and how well prepared I am in some ways and how in others there's just no way to know how it will all play out. I am delighted that I am marrying the one I've been waiting for, and I am blessed that he comes as a package deal. His Mama told my Mama on Sunday night after everyone else had left that she has seen a side of her son that she has never seen before, in a good way. My mom is way more positive about things after Sunday nights dinner!!!
Mr. Clean and I had talked about going ahead and having a ceremony in the pastors office and then having a renewal on the day that is being planned. Mr. Clean told me that he knows how important it is for me to start things out on the right foot and how he wants to start things out on the right foot and he knows that if we did that then it would hurt my parents feelings, and make the day less special for me. So we won't be going that route although a big part of me really wanted to, he's right it takes away from the specialness of the day that is being planned.
I've met the man who I can (literally) sit out on the front porch and talk to for hours. I am blessed!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Monday
I hope that everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day!!!!
Friday night I worked til 11 at the restaurant. There was a band, and I was on the patio, so despite working til 11 it was a good night!
Saturday morning I decided to hold off on my run, I was tired, I had been on my feet for so many hours the night before on concrete I felt I needed to rest. I had a hair appointment at 9 just to get a trim. I had not been back to see Samantha since I cut off 10 inches last July. She was running 15 minutes late, I'm so glad I was her first appointment of the day!! While I was waiting for Sam I was reading through a People special edition 80's something or other. There was a picture of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, Girl Clean's mom looks a lot like Jerry Hall. So Girl Clean has the combination of her mom and dad's looks add their brains and wild child ways, law have mercy. She's smart, and we are so going to have our hands full!!!!
I drove up to have lunch with Mr. Clean and Girl Clean. We picked wildflowers for Girl Clean's mom and she had colored the card her Daddy helped her make. I was impressed that he had thought of all this all ready. We had her try on her flower girl dress and shoes, OH MY WORD!!!!!! The dress and shoes are perfect and she looks like an angel or princess or insert just the right word and that is how she looks. The more time I am able to spend with her the more fun she is, because right now I just get to be the fun one. I got hugs and more hugs and they melt me!!!! She and I kissed Jack good bye before we went to pick flowers and grab some lunch.
I had to leave by 2 in order to get Jack home and be at the Restaurant by 4. I knew it would be a busy night, it was not a good night. We were slammed busy, our kitchen crashed, we went on a long wait. I like when we are busy and it flows. For whatever reason, right now, nothing flows and it's all tied to our kitchen and it aggravates me no end. I had an 8:15 reservation who did not sit until 9pm. I then rushed a calamari appetizer order only to find out that they were allergic to shellfish and we had to put together a tuna tartar app instead.
Sunday morning I wanted a longer run then what I have been doing. I figured out a nice 5 mile route that was all uphill at the start and all downhill to end. I ran 4.5 had to stop and walk, but I think all total I ran right about 5 miles. My legs were tired from being on them and not enough water the day before. It was a beautiful run and I did enjoy it!! I got home and was able to vacuum, change sheets, clean the bathroom and get my house a little more organized. I had already determined that I was going to take a me morning and not go to church and just have some decompression time. Even though I was doing stuff around the house it was still total me time and I needed it!!! I was up at Mr. Clean's place by 3:15, dinner was at 5:30.
Last night our parents met each other for the first time. It went so well and I was so relieved!! Mr. Clean and I were 10 minutes late, everyone was already seated when we got there. I sat next to my mom and Mr. Clean and across from Sister Clean. We chose a cajun place and the food was so good!!! Because I had been so busy I had not had time to eat so I was really able to enjoy my dinner. Everyone else had eaten lunch around 2 so they were not hungry, but I was!!! While we were at dinner my mom told me that the cakes for my wedding are our gift. That means that the cake we will cut, is a gift, and the additional sheet cakes (made by another friend) are gifts. Both are families who I used to babysit for. Yes I teared up when my mom told me this. We are having a cake only reception so my Mom is ordering an addtional few sheetcakes to have but the really nice yummy cakes are being gifted to us.
Plans are coming together, Mr. Clean and I are so excited!!! Our new mattress arrived and he really likes it, which is a good thing. I'm looking forward to having a new mattress I'm still sleeping on the mattress that we took of my bed frame which is now in storage. I was 9 when I got this mattress and I have no idea how old it was before that. I noticed Saturday/Sunday that I kept almost rolling off of it, which is weird and I have no idea why without the frame I'm more prone to roll off to the floor. We ordered the new mattress online from Kohls and got a deal but anytime you order something like that online there is a chance it might not work the way you want it to. Now we just need to find bedding and he and I are still looking for that.
This week I have my very very very intense class for insurance, this is the 2nd of 5 to go towards my Certified Insurance Counselor (CIC) designator. If I don't pass the all essay exam on Saturday morning I am out $400, I passed the first one and I purposely took the hardest class as my first. The best way to explain it is a semester long college class crammed into 2 1/2 days with the final on Saturday. So wish me luck!!!
Have a fabulous day!!!
Friday night I worked til 11 at the restaurant. There was a band, and I was on the patio, so despite working til 11 it was a good night!
Saturday morning I decided to hold off on my run, I was tired, I had been on my feet for so many hours the night before on concrete I felt I needed to rest. I had a hair appointment at 9 just to get a trim. I had not been back to see Samantha since I cut off 10 inches last July. She was running 15 minutes late, I'm so glad I was her first appointment of the day!! While I was waiting for Sam I was reading through a People special edition 80's something or other. There was a picture of Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall, Girl Clean's mom looks a lot like Jerry Hall. So Girl Clean has the combination of her mom and dad's looks add their brains and wild child ways, law have mercy. She's smart, and we are so going to have our hands full!!!!
I drove up to have lunch with Mr. Clean and Girl Clean. We picked wildflowers for Girl Clean's mom and she had colored the card her Daddy helped her make. I was impressed that he had thought of all this all ready. We had her try on her flower girl dress and shoes, OH MY WORD!!!!!! The dress and shoes are perfect and she looks like an angel or princess or insert just the right word and that is how she looks. The more time I am able to spend with her the more fun she is, because right now I just get to be the fun one. I got hugs and more hugs and they melt me!!!! She and I kissed Jack good bye before we went to pick flowers and grab some lunch.
I had to leave by 2 in order to get Jack home and be at the Restaurant by 4. I knew it would be a busy night, it was not a good night. We were slammed busy, our kitchen crashed, we went on a long wait. I like when we are busy and it flows. For whatever reason, right now, nothing flows and it's all tied to our kitchen and it aggravates me no end. I had an 8:15 reservation who did not sit until 9pm. I then rushed a calamari appetizer order only to find out that they were allergic to shellfish and we had to put together a tuna tartar app instead.
Sunday morning I wanted a longer run then what I have been doing. I figured out a nice 5 mile route that was all uphill at the start and all downhill to end. I ran 4.5 had to stop and walk, but I think all total I ran right about 5 miles. My legs were tired from being on them and not enough water the day before. It was a beautiful run and I did enjoy it!! I got home and was able to vacuum, change sheets, clean the bathroom and get my house a little more organized. I had already determined that I was going to take a me morning and not go to church and just have some decompression time. Even though I was doing stuff around the house it was still total me time and I needed it!!! I was up at Mr. Clean's place by 3:15, dinner was at 5:30.
Last night our parents met each other for the first time. It went so well and I was so relieved!! Mr. Clean and I were 10 minutes late, everyone was already seated when we got there. I sat next to my mom and Mr. Clean and across from Sister Clean. We chose a cajun place and the food was so good!!! Because I had been so busy I had not had time to eat so I was really able to enjoy my dinner. Everyone else had eaten lunch around 2 so they were not hungry, but I was!!! While we were at dinner my mom told me that the cakes for my wedding are our gift. That means that the cake we will cut, is a gift, and the additional sheet cakes (made by another friend) are gifts. Both are families who I used to babysit for. Yes I teared up when my mom told me this. We are having a cake only reception so my Mom is ordering an addtional few sheetcakes to have but the really nice yummy cakes are being gifted to us.
Plans are coming together, Mr. Clean and I are so excited!!! Our new mattress arrived and he really likes it, which is a good thing. I'm looking forward to having a new mattress I'm still sleeping on the mattress that we took of my bed frame which is now in storage. I was 9 when I got this mattress and I have no idea how old it was before that. I noticed Saturday/Sunday that I kept almost rolling off of it, which is weird and I have no idea why without the frame I'm more prone to roll off to the floor. We ordered the new mattress online from Kohls and got a deal but anytime you order something like that online there is a chance it might not work the way you want it to. Now we just need to find bedding and he and I are still looking for that.
This week I have my very very very intense class for insurance, this is the 2nd of 5 to go towards my Certified Insurance Counselor (CIC) designator. If I don't pass the all essay exam on Saturday morning I am out $400, I passed the first one and I purposely took the hardest class as my first. The best way to explain it is a semester long college class crammed into 2 1/2 days with the final on Saturday. So wish me luck!!!
Have a fabulous day!!!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to tear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance." Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Last night I logged in to FB and I noticed comments and after clicking a few times I figured out what had happened. I used to babysit for a family who went to my church. I am a few years older then then the oldest then there is a middle brother and a sister and she is beautiful and I have watched her grow up. She is so precious and I remember her so vividly as a baby. Perhaps because her name is Grace Margaret and that name is actually the name I would have chosen for my daughter.
Mr. E passed away, not sure when but it was a heart attack and it was sudden. About 10 days ago he had chest pains and went in to have them check his heart and they could not find anything. He was outside working when it happened. He was around my Mom's age. He just saw his middle son graduate from college and his first Grandbaby was born this year. Grace was lead in the Beauty and the Beast play for her high school.
As my heart hurts for the E family, and every time I think of it i begin to cry I am reminded that this good bye is not forever. It hurts to say good bye so soon to such an amazing man and father. It hurts to know that it will most likely be a while before we see him again. But joy does come in the morning. My thoughts and prayers are with the family, who hold such a special place in my heart. While they know that their husband and Daddy is in heaven rejoicing and praising with the Heavenly Father it does not make the hurt and realization that they won't see him again this side of heaven any easier.
I'm so thankful that God loved us all enough that He sent His Son to take the sins of all of us on himself and through His death we have been given this wonderful, amazing, incomprehensible gift of eternal life in Heaven and all we have to do is accept Him as our Lord and Savior.
Last night I logged in to FB and I noticed comments and after clicking a few times I figured out what had happened. I used to babysit for a family who went to my church. I am a few years older then then the oldest then there is a middle brother and a sister and she is beautiful and I have watched her grow up. She is so precious and I remember her so vividly as a baby. Perhaps because her name is Grace Margaret and that name is actually the name I would have chosen for my daughter.
Mr. E passed away, not sure when but it was a heart attack and it was sudden. About 10 days ago he had chest pains and went in to have them check his heart and they could not find anything. He was outside working when it happened. He was around my Mom's age. He just saw his middle son graduate from college and his first Grandbaby was born this year. Grace was lead in the Beauty and the Beast play for her high school.
As my heart hurts for the E family, and every time I think of it i begin to cry I am reminded that this good bye is not forever. It hurts to say good bye so soon to such an amazing man and father. It hurts to know that it will most likely be a while before we see him again. But joy does come in the morning. My thoughts and prayers are with the family, who hold such a special place in my heart. While they know that their husband and Daddy is in heaven rejoicing and praising with the Heavenly Father it does not make the hurt and realization that they won't see him again this side of heaven any easier.
I'm so thankful that God loved us all enough that He sent His Son to take the sins of all of us on himself and through His death we have been given this wonderful, amazing, incomprehensible gift of eternal life in Heaven and all we have to do is accept Him as our Lord and Savior.
Friday, May 6, 2011
Stretched Out Chord or I'm not sure how much longer I can be nice
I was driving home at lunch today and a thought crossed my mind. "I am so tired of having to be so nice to everyone." I know this sounds horrible but honestly, it's the truth!!!
I think this is a lot to do with exhaustion, I have given up my normal sleep in order to try and get everything done. Monday night I did not go to bed until 11:30 because I was at my parents addressing invitations. Tuesday morning I was supposed to be up early enough to leave my house at 6:30, I left my house at 7. I was at work on time, just not the 30 minutes early to make up the 30 minutes from the day before.
Tuesday night Mr. Clean and I had our session with Pastor T. It was great and I enjoyed it, but I was so tired everything started to blur in front of my eyes by the time I finally made it to bed.
Wednesday morning I slept through my alarm. But I stayed 15 minutes after wrapping something up. Wednesday I got home and I had to get my cabinets cleaned out, and I needed to run. So when I told Mr. Clean I would call him back after my run I didn't think to tell him I wouldn't be going on my run til 7:30. I got a text at 8:50 asking if I was safe. I was on the phone with a friend of mine because we had set up a phone date in order to catch up since I just don't have time to meet out right now. I told her I would call right back and call him. He was legitimately concerned, and I should have said when I hung up I would not be running for a while and I would be working on emptying cabinets. I can't talk on the phone and get work done, it doesn't happen for me. So I had to apologize, he wasn't mad or upset just concerned because I do run just with Jack and it was getting dark and I did not clarify the time frame. I am so not used to having to answer to someone regarding stuff like that.
Yesterday morning I made it to work 15 minutes early, in order to make up the rest of my 30 minutes. We had a Mexican lunch that was super yummy!! I needed to return some things after work, a trip that should have not taken any time at all went way too long because of traffic because of the WF golf tournament going on right now. I didn't get home til 6:30, and I was able to get all my glassware wrapped and consolidated into an old hamper, I'm going to try and lump sale it at the moving sale.
Mr. Clean was asking when he's going to be able to see me, because last night I was still trying to pack and organize and tonight I have to work til 11 and tomorrow I have plans and then I have to work at the restaurant. I told him I will make it happen, that somehow we will see each other. I pointed out to him that if he really needs to see me he can drive to my house to see me. I'm overwhelmed by all that I still have left to do and I do not feel like I have enough time ever. Then I started thinking about how it will be when I move in with my parents in the interim weeks between me being out of my condo and the wedding and I am SO NOT looking forward to that.
We are trying to get our parents together so they can meet each other before the wedding. I'm trying to make time for all the things I’m supposed to make time for, including my fiancé. I got a question from his mom about the color of my bridesmaid's dresses and what about Girl Clean's dress. I've stated several times I am only having 1 attendant and she is wearing navy. I also said from the beginning that I would take care of Girl Clean's dress. Then I have to stop and think that Mama Clean is stressed and has so much going on and she is being very nice about all the wedding stuff and I need to just let it go and just provide the requested information.
I'm trying to remember my Mom's feelings and be nice to her. I'm trying to remember Mama Clean's feelings and be nice to her. I'm trying to make sure that my fiancé does not feel neglected, and I'm pulled in way too many directions. I'm having to be so nice to everyone and I'm tired. I just want to go hide and sleep.
I'm excited, and happy. I'm also human and trying to make everyone else feel important and special etc etc etc and not step on toes and make sure everyone has the information that they need. It's just exhausting.
I am so very thankful last Thursday I was able to escape to Boone and while I loved having roomie and my Jelly there I also would have not minded if it had been just me and Mama D. My downtime isn't downtime it's spent working and I feel like a tightly stretched chord. I know that there is a light at the end of this and while I know that in some ways this is how life will be, I also know that when I'm not stressing over when I'm going to see Mr. Clean it will help tremendously.
I think this is a lot to do with exhaustion, I have given up my normal sleep in order to try and get everything done. Monday night I did not go to bed until 11:30 because I was at my parents addressing invitations. Tuesday morning I was supposed to be up early enough to leave my house at 6:30, I left my house at 7. I was at work on time, just not the 30 minutes early to make up the 30 minutes from the day before.
Tuesday night Mr. Clean and I had our session with Pastor T. It was great and I enjoyed it, but I was so tired everything started to blur in front of my eyes by the time I finally made it to bed.
Wednesday morning I slept through my alarm. But I stayed 15 minutes after wrapping something up. Wednesday I got home and I had to get my cabinets cleaned out, and I needed to run. So when I told Mr. Clean I would call him back after my run I didn't think to tell him I wouldn't be going on my run til 7:30. I got a text at 8:50 asking if I was safe. I was on the phone with a friend of mine because we had set up a phone date in order to catch up since I just don't have time to meet out right now. I told her I would call right back and call him. He was legitimately concerned, and I should have said when I hung up I would not be running for a while and I would be working on emptying cabinets. I can't talk on the phone and get work done, it doesn't happen for me. So I had to apologize, he wasn't mad or upset just concerned because I do run just with Jack and it was getting dark and I did not clarify the time frame. I am so not used to having to answer to someone regarding stuff like that.
Yesterday morning I made it to work 15 minutes early, in order to make up the rest of my 30 minutes. We had a Mexican lunch that was super yummy!! I needed to return some things after work, a trip that should have not taken any time at all went way too long because of traffic because of the WF golf tournament going on right now. I didn't get home til 6:30, and I was able to get all my glassware wrapped and consolidated into an old hamper, I'm going to try and lump sale it at the moving sale.
Mr. Clean was asking when he's going to be able to see me, because last night I was still trying to pack and organize and tonight I have to work til 11 and tomorrow I have plans and then I have to work at the restaurant. I told him I will make it happen, that somehow we will see each other. I pointed out to him that if he really needs to see me he can drive to my house to see me. I'm overwhelmed by all that I still have left to do and I do not feel like I have enough time ever. Then I started thinking about how it will be when I move in with my parents in the interim weeks between me being out of my condo and the wedding and I am SO NOT looking forward to that.
We are trying to get our parents together so they can meet each other before the wedding. I'm trying to make time for all the things I’m supposed to make time for, including my fiancé. I got a question from his mom about the color of my bridesmaid's dresses and what about Girl Clean's dress. I've stated several times I am only having 1 attendant and she is wearing navy. I also said from the beginning that I would take care of Girl Clean's dress. Then I have to stop and think that Mama Clean is stressed and has so much going on and she is being very nice about all the wedding stuff and I need to just let it go and just provide the requested information.
I'm trying to remember my Mom's feelings and be nice to her. I'm trying to remember Mama Clean's feelings and be nice to her. I'm trying to make sure that my fiancé does not feel neglected, and I'm pulled in way too many directions. I'm having to be so nice to everyone and I'm tired. I just want to go hide and sleep.
I'm excited, and happy. I'm also human and trying to make everyone else feel important and special etc etc etc and not step on toes and make sure everyone has the information that they need. It's just exhausting.
I am so very thankful last Thursday I was able to escape to Boone and while I loved having roomie and my Jelly there I also would have not minded if it had been just me and Mama D. My downtime isn't downtime it's spent working and I feel like a tightly stretched chord. I know that there is a light at the end of this and while I know that in some ways this is how life will be, I also know that when I'm not stressing over when I'm going to see Mr. Clean it will help tremendously.
Friendship - and changing over initials to names
June 5, 1979 Miss Kay was born. August 21, 1979 Charbelle was born. Fast forward 3 years to Sonshine School, then Kindergarten for 1/2 the year. Then 1st grade, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, birthday parties, sleepovers, yet they weren't really BFF's at this point. That would not happen until right before 8th grade, and something just clicked and from that moment on they understood each other in the way that transcended mere friendship and made them sisters. Through high school and college they would have fights and disagreements, because sisters do. They attended different high schools and both graduated in 1997. Miss Kay is the reason Charbelle chose Appalachian. Charbelle became a freshman at Appalachian state Fall of 1997 and Miss Kay began attending in Spring of 1998. There would be a gigantic falling out before Miss Kay's wedding and they kissed and made up just in time. Miss Kay became Mrs.Kay/PMG January 2007 with Charbelle standing at the front with her. Although Mrs. Kay lives in Florida she has been amazing throughout the process that began when the frog prince, Mr. Clean, place the ring on Charbelle's finger.
February 1988 University Hilton Charlotte, NC, Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference. Charbelle is introduced to Lillian, and they play Barbies and form a friendship. February 1989 Embassy Suites Raleigh NC North Carolina State Children of the American Revolution state Conference, Charbelle and Lillian reconnect. March 1990 Howard Johnson Hotel Statesville, NC Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference Charbelle and Lillian are so excited to see each other. They exchange addresses and become pen pals. As they would see each other at state events the friendship continued. In 1997 the girls graduated from High School and both moved to Boone, NC to attend Appalachian State University. There the friendship grew closer. There would be a major falling out and then making up with each other. They spent several days each summer between 1995-2002 at the beach with Charbelle's family. Lillian became Mrs. Lillian/MFT in April 2004. Mrs. Lillian has called Charbelle out many times over and is truly not afraid to voice her opinions and thoughts.
August 1993 Charbelle began her high school experience in Concord, NC. Miss P was a year behind Charbelle and in high school they were never that close. It wasn't until after high school that the friendship really formed and blossomed. When Miss P moved back to Charlotte from law school, she moved in to Charbelle's new condo. A misadventure to Charleston resulted in Miss P reaching out to her vast network of friends and helping to rescue Charbelle and bring her home again. Miss P purchased her own townhome and moved away. She met her great love, and lost her great love, and will never be the same. Then after time, and when the time was right she met the man who set her world right again. He is everything she never knew she needed and allows her to be 100% her. He's amazingly right for her, and they fit together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. They married each other in November 2009 and she is Mrs. P/PYS. It's quite wonderful to see Mrs. P with the Mr.! She is honest and loyal, amazing, courageous, brave, and she never gives up!
August 1998 Charbelle and TRH become next door neighbors in the dorm. January 1999 Charbelle and TRH become roommates. They lived together, worked together, they were pretty much attached at the hip. Roomie was everything Charbelle would never be, petite blonde, tiny, feisty. They were party girls and loved to go out and have fun. Charbelle went to work for the bridal store in March 2000 and as spring turned to summer the store needed another girl so Roomie got the job. When May 2001 arrived and Charbelle was 1 credit of a PE short requiring her to stay in Boone one more semester Roomie knew of an apartment with a room that they could sublet.
May 2001, Charbelle met MG. It was her birthday and her liquor of choice was Captain Morgan so Charbelle had a bottle waiting. These 3 roommates consumed enough wine to float a boat, they had wine and cheese night every night. They learned to mix drinks, had parties, and enjoyed life the way only college students can. Charbelle is the reason MG now drinks beer.
As in all good friendships there was a falling out between these friends and as is the case with very true friendships they all made up again. Roomie got married in October 2006 and became Mrs. J/THJ and she went with Charbelle to pick out her wedding gown. They returned to their favorite place in all the world on top of that NC mountain.
MG/Doc M met Mr. Clean the weekend of the engagement. Initially concerned at the pace of the relationship after meeting him she had no concerns to voice. Knowing Charbelle as she does she knows that her friend has finally found her frog prince.
Into everyone's life I think friendship is the most valuable gift that God gives us. Friends hold us accountable, and hold us up in times of trouble. As I prepare for my wedding day I am reflective, as is the case with any time I am going through a major life change. I have been blessed beyond compare that I have such wonderful amazing friendships! I don't just have one best friend. When it came to picking out my one attendant I simply knew that I would go with my friend who I had known the longest. My girls all know that they are loved and appreciated. I knew that there would be no hurt feelings, no sense of resentment. I am blessed, and so very thankful!!
February 1988 University Hilton Charlotte, NC, Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference. Charbelle is introduced to Lillian, and they play Barbies and form a friendship. February 1989 Embassy Suites Raleigh NC North Carolina State Children of the American Revolution state Conference, Charbelle and Lillian reconnect. March 1990 Howard Johnson Hotel Statesville, NC Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference Charbelle and Lillian are so excited to see each other. They exchange addresses and become pen pals. As they would see each other at state events the friendship continued. In 1997 the girls graduated from High School and both moved to Boone, NC to attend Appalachian State University. There the friendship grew closer. There would be a major falling out and then making up with each other. They spent several days each summer between 1995-2002 at the beach with Charbelle's family. Lillian became Mrs. Lillian/MFT in April 2004. Mrs. Lillian has called Charbelle out many times over and is truly not afraid to voice her opinions and thoughts.
August 1993 Charbelle began her high school experience in Concord, NC. Miss P was a year behind Charbelle and in high school they were never that close. It wasn't until after high school that the friendship really formed and blossomed. When Miss P moved back to Charlotte from law school, she moved in to Charbelle's new condo. A misadventure to Charleston resulted in Miss P reaching out to her vast network of friends and helping to rescue Charbelle and bring her home again. Miss P purchased her own townhome and moved away. She met her great love, and lost her great love, and will never be the same. Then after time, and when the time was right she met the man who set her world right again. He is everything she never knew she needed and allows her to be 100% her. He's amazingly right for her, and they fit together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. They married each other in November 2009 and she is Mrs. P/PYS. It's quite wonderful to see Mrs. P with the Mr.! She is honest and loyal, amazing, courageous, brave, and she never gives up!
August 1998 Charbelle and TRH become next door neighbors in the dorm. January 1999 Charbelle and TRH become roommates. They lived together, worked together, they were pretty much attached at the hip. Roomie was everything Charbelle would never be, petite blonde, tiny, feisty. They were party girls and loved to go out and have fun. Charbelle went to work for the bridal store in March 2000 and as spring turned to summer the store needed another girl so Roomie got the job. When May 2001 arrived and Charbelle was 1 credit of a PE short requiring her to stay in Boone one more semester Roomie knew of an apartment with a room that they could sublet.
May 2001, Charbelle met MG. It was her birthday and her liquor of choice was Captain Morgan so Charbelle had a bottle waiting. These 3 roommates consumed enough wine to float a boat, they had wine and cheese night every night. They learned to mix drinks, had parties, and enjoyed life the way only college students can. Charbelle is the reason MG now drinks beer.
As in all good friendships there was a falling out between these friends and as is the case with very true friendships they all made up again. Roomie got married in October 2006 and became Mrs. J/THJ and she went with Charbelle to pick out her wedding gown. They returned to their favorite place in all the world on top of that NC mountain.
MG/Doc M met Mr. Clean the weekend of the engagement. Initially concerned at the pace of the relationship after meeting him she had no concerns to voice. Knowing Charbelle as she does she knows that her friend has finally found her frog prince.
Into everyone's life I think friendship is the most valuable gift that God gives us. Friends hold us accountable, and hold us up in times of trouble. As I prepare for my wedding day I am reflective, as is the case with any time I am going through a major life change. I have been blessed beyond compare that I have such wonderful amazing friendships! I don't just have one best friend. When it came to picking out my one attendant I simply knew that I would go with my friend who I had known the longest. My girls all know that they are loved and appreciated. I knew that there would be no hurt feelings, no sense of resentment. I am blessed, and so very thankful!!
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Lunch
My office decided to celebrate Cinco De Mayo with a potluck lunch. YUMMY!!!!!!! Yes my eyes are always bigger then my stomach but oh my goodness this was SO good!!!!
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
It's bedtime
Monday night was spent addressing invitations. My dog is used to being the center of attention whenever we are at my parents. He tried everything he knew to do in order to get us to pay attention to him. By the time we got home he was exhausted from his efforts.
He buried himself under the pillow and put himself to bed.
He buried himself under the pillow and put himself to bed.
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Music
I had an idea in my head, I love Billy Joel. His music I could listen to forever!!! He has a few slower ballads that always make me feel warm and fuzzy. I was planning to go through lyrics of a few of his songs but the first one I came too I just realized that this is the one I want to play as I walk down the aisle. It's his song Just the Way You Are
Lyrics:
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
It perfectly sums up the way it is between Mr. Clean and I!!
Lyrics:
Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Although I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are.
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
What will it take till you believe in me
The way that I believe in you.
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.
It perfectly sums up the way it is between Mr. Clean and I!!
From my brother's email archive
Editing to say: My mom is not evil, nor is she a bad person. She is that breed of Southern Mother who is complicated and not easy but full of love and loyalty. So while I am venting, I do have to put this disclaimer in there.
This morning my brother forwarded me this...
From: Charbelle [mailto:charbelle@.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 2:22 PM
To: Charbelle's Mom
Subject: RE: Thursday
If I ever meet the frog prince I think it will have to be a small wedding b/c I won't keep my voice otherwise. Stress of any kind just takes it away.
This morning my brother forwarded me this...
From: Charbelle [mailto:charbelle@.com]
Sent: Thursday, February 21, 2008 2:22 PM
To: Charbelle's Mom
Subject: RE: Thursday
If I ever meet the frog prince I think it will have to be a small wedding b/c I won't keep my voice otherwise. Stress of any kind just takes it away.
Early morning phone call
I called my Mom this morning. Specifically to ask where did my adjusted list go, the one that was significantly shorter then the list that was used last night. I was trying to get ready this morning and ALL I could think about was the circus and the amount of people and how this is SO NOT what I wanted and SO WHAT I had been trying to avoid!!
After pointing out that after the people who have already told us that they can't come won't be there, there will probably be another 25% on the invite list who won't be able to be there. Then she told me that this is just the enemy attacking my thoughts and trying to steal my joy. That comment I just left alone, my joy cup is running over, just not regarding this particular part of the process. However, I do know she's right about all the people who really won't be there. Once I subtract out just the ones I know for sure won't be there it does bring it down by about 30 people give or take.
I've determined that when it comes to Mr. Clean and my Mom what I'm going to have to start doing is not venting regarding my Mom or this process to Mr. Clean. When I share information I will do just that. I've already tried to be careful about this but he knows how I feel and I think a large part of his attitude is because of how I feel about everything. I have decided to be more positive and share less in order to try and keep this from creating any further drama. He just wants to show up and I know this so I'm going to do my best just to keep it calm and easy. I don't dare mention the number of actual people I will just say that there are going to be a lot of people who will not be able to come. I am venting to my brother because he knows how Mom is and he does get it.
Part of the reason why the date was set so quickly is because I was already aware that it would be this way. I knew the faster I was able to get this part out of the way the less circus like it would all be. When there is not a lot of lead time it allows for less buildup and in this case that is the best scenario. My mom wants a special day, and no matter how many times I say this is not what I want she will not hear me so my responsibility becomes remaining positive and filtering information and trying to just get everyone in and out of the church so that no feelings are hurt and no lasting damage is done to relationships.
After pointing out that after the people who have already told us that they can't come won't be there, there will probably be another 25% on the invite list who won't be able to be there. Then she told me that this is just the enemy attacking my thoughts and trying to steal my joy. That comment I just left alone, my joy cup is running over, just not regarding this particular part of the process. However, I do know she's right about all the people who really won't be there. Once I subtract out just the ones I know for sure won't be there it does bring it down by about 30 people give or take.
I've determined that when it comes to Mr. Clean and my Mom what I'm going to have to start doing is not venting regarding my Mom or this process to Mr. Clean. When I share information I will do just that. I've already tried to be careful about this but he knows how I feel and I think a large part of his attitude is because of how I feel about everything. I have decided to be more positive and share less in order to try and keep this from creating any further drama. He just wants to show up and I know this so I'm going to do my best just to keep it calm and easy. I don't dare mention the number of actual people I will just say that there are going to be a lot of people who will not be able to come. I am venting to my brother because he knows how Mom is and he does get it.
Part of the reason why the date was set so quickly is because I was already aware that it would be this way. I knew the faster I was able to get this part out of the way the less circus like it would all be. When there is not a lot of lead time it allows for less buildup and in this case that is the best scenario. My mom wants a special day, and no matter how many times I say this is not what I want she will not hear me so my responsibility becomes remaining positive and filtering information and trying to just get everyone in and out of the church so that no feelings are hurt and no lasting damage is done to relationships.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Guest List
I've got to keep this brief because it's late and I have to be up early. My mom and I had it out again tonight. I understand what she was saying and we talked though it. Then came the list, and she started going through names and exactly what I specifically said I did not want to happen is going to happen. It's going to be a freaking circus.
I can only hope that everyone invited who has already explained that they will be out of town will really be out of town. Mr. Clean has 12 people total he has invited to our wedding. The 190 others... All my side. I kid you not, that is an approximate number and I think it's probably more then that.
I texted Jelly as we were addressing envelopes and said fair warning it's going to be a circus. I understand and get that everyone is happy and wants to be there. I know I love weddings and I love being a part of them and I think that they can be a lot of fun, as long as it's not your own. I did push back on some of the people on the list. I also added names of mine because I figured if this was the list then it blew my desire for small out of the water so I was going to just go ahead and invite friends who I knew would like to be there.
I know that this is supposed to be our day and on the day of, it's going to be all about Mr. Clean and I. I have taken steps and pushed back enough to make sure that when it's all said and done we will remember this as the crazy day of our marriage but large parts of it will still be all ours. A wedding is a wedding that is all. I'm marrying the man I've been waiting for and I am blessed. We love each other, for the most part we laugh at all this. I've told him thank you a million times for being willing to let me have this day, or technically let my mom have this day.
My mom said tonight that she didn't understand how her daughter who used to draw wedding dresses and loved attending all her friends weddings did not want a wedding of her own and she completely blamed this on Mr. Clean. I pushed back, I said that yes I loved drawing wedding gowns but that I have real life experience from working in the industry. I have watched my friends and the stress and money spent and last year at Bean and Jelly's wedding how even though they tried to have fun they were mostly just so stressed out.
She doesn't want to lose me and she is scared that this is what is going to happen. I forgot to point out that for the 2 weeks after our engagement we couldn't see his parents because we were spending so much time with my side. I told her I haven't wanted a wedding for years because I understand the ridiculous stress of it all. I said if she and Daddy had the money or I had the money then we would go to the beach or mountains the way I've actually always wanted to do but no one has the money for that.
I push back on the truly important things. I made sure that there were enough invitations for Mr. Clean's guests and I will make sure that when it really truly matters I stand up for what is important. It's all about choosing my battles.
I will say this, my dress, OH MY WORD do I LOVE my dress!!!!! My invitations, I LOVE my invitations!!!! Mr. Clean left the decision to invite Girl Clean's mom up to me. He said you are my wife and this is your decision, we've been talking about this and ultimately he deferred to me because I come first and he's made that abundantly clear. I invited her, because I have a feeling that if we continue on the note we have started our little girl is going to be well adjusted and only ever know a united front when it comes to the adults in her life. I say all this to say, there is much that is good!!!! What's not so great, gives me something to blog about :p
I can only hope that everyone invited who has already explained that they will be out of town will really be out of town. Mr. Clean has 12 people total he has invited to our wedding. The 190 others... All my side. I kid you not, that is an approximate number and I think it's probably more then that.
I texted Jelly as we were addressing envelopes and said fair warning it's going to be a circus. I understand and get that everyone is happy and wants to be there. I know I love weddings and I love being a part of them and I think that they can be a lot of fun, as long as it's not your own. I did push back on some of the people on the list. I also added names of mine because I figured if this was the list then it blew my desire for small out of the water so I was going to just go ahead and invite friends who I knew would like to be there.
I know that this is supposed to be our day and on the day of, it's going to be all about Mr. Clean and I. I have taken steps and pushed back enough to make sure that when it's all said and done we will remember this as the crazy day of our marriage but large parts of it will still be all ours. A wedding is a wedding that is all. I'm marrying the man I've been waiting for and I am blessed. We love each other, for the most part we laugh at all this. I've told him thank you a million times for being willing to let me have this day, or technically let my mom have this day.
My mom said tonight that she didn't understand how her daughter who used to draw wedding dresses and loved attending all her friends weddings did not want a wedding of her own and she completely blamed this on Mr. Clean. I pushed back, I said that yes I loved drawing wedding gowns but that I have real life experience from working in the industry. I have watched my friends and the stress and money spent and last year at Bean and Jelly's wedding how even though they tried to have fun they were mostly just so stressed out.
She doesn't want to lose me and she is scared that this is what is going to happen. I forgot to point out that for the 2 weeks after our engagement we couldn't see his parents because we were spending so much time with my side. I told her I haven't wanted a wedding for years because I understand the ridiculous stress of it all. I said if she and Daddy had the money or I had the money then we would go to the beach or mountains the way I've actually always wanted to do but no one has the money for that.
I push back on the truly important things. I made sure that there were enough invitations for Mr. Clean's guests and I will make sure that when it really truly matters I stand up for what is important. It's all about choosing my battles.
I will say this, my dress, OH MY WORD do I LOVE my dress!!!!! My invitations, I LOVE my invitations!!!! Mr. Clean left the decision to invite Girl Clean's mom up to me. He said you are my wife and this is your decision, we've been talking about this and ultimately he deferred to me because I come first and he's made that abundantly clear. I invited her, because I have a feeling that if we continue on the note we have started our little girl is going to be well adjusted and only ever know a united front when it comes to the adults in her life. I say all this to say, there is much that is good!!!! What's not so great, gives me something to blog about :p
Family Dynamic
IF I DON'T KILL MY MOM BEFORE THIS IS ALL OVER THEN WE CAN CONSIDER THAT MY BIGGEST ACCOMPLISHMENT TO DATE!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY WORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love her, I do I promise. I am trying to be understanding. I'm letting her HAVE HER WAY regarding most things. I know this is a control thing and she's losing me and blah blah blah. SERIOUSLY I'm ready to scream!!!!!!
This morning I emailed the mom's about a dinner on Friday night. We're not doing a rehearsal because it's Mr. Clean's very busy day and it does not make sense. I suggested a restaurant where I used to eat with my parents when my Mom worked at the high school. We haven't been there in a long time but I figured it would be a good casual easy way to do a fun dinner.
I sent another email just to my mom about having a first look for pictures and having all pictures done ahead of time. Having a brief rehearsal. I explained how he and his Dad had helped with the furniture and then about yesterday.
To the first email I get a response back about the dinner suggesting a restaurant close to concord mills, like across the street because they have a private room. In my other email I had not yet sent I explained that going to that particular chain on a Friday night where it's located would be nightmare crazy. I did not mention that the only thing I order from there is soup salad and bread sticks and no one in Mr. Clean's family even likes that restaurant, including Mr. Clean. I told her to forget my dinner idea.
I get a response back that she is glad I enjoyed the time with Mr. Clean and his family. I can read through the stupid email with no tone that she's hurt that I spent all weekend with his family. She also suggested dinner at their house, to which I responded back that she has enough on her already and that would make his parents feel weird and they would want to do the dinner at their house and to just forget the dinner idea all together. I wasn't trying to create drama and yet I somehow managed. Then I pointed out that Saturday after Mr. Clean and Daddy Clean left I stayed home and worked on my place because I had to be at the restaurant at 3. Then yesterday it was just the 3 of us and it was very nice.
She doesn't want me to marry him. She doesn't like him. She is pushing the wedding because she wants to do what all her friends expect. I am so fed up and irritated and I am doing my very very best to remain positive and sweet but I swear I will be drinking on my wedding day in order to maintain my positive attitude!!!!!!
I love her, I do I promise. I am trying to be understanding. I'm letting her HAVE HER WAY regarding most things. I know this is a control thing and she's losing me and blah blah blah. SERIOUSLY I'm ready to scream!!!!!!
This morning I emailed the mom's about a dinner on Friday night. We're not doing a rehearsal because it's Mr. Clean's very busy day and it does not make sense. I suggested a restaurant where I used to eat with my parents when my Mom worked at the high school. We haven't been there in a long time but I figured it would be a good casual easy way to do a fun dinner.
I sent another email just to my mom about having a first look for pictures and having all pictures done ahead of time. Having a brief rehearsal. I explained how he and his Dad had helped with the furniture and then about yesterday.
To the first email I get a response back about the dinner suggesting a restaurant close to concord mills, like across the street because they have a private room. In my other email I had not yet sent I explained that going to that particular chain on a Friday night where it's located would be nightmare crazy. I did not mention that the only thing I order from there is soup salad and bread sticks and no one in Mr. Clean's family even likes that restaurant, including Mr. Clean. I told her to forget my dinner idea.
I get a response back that she is glad I enjoyed the time with Mr. Clean and his family. I can read through the stupid email with no tone that she's hurt that I spent all weekend with his family. She also suggested dinner at their house, to which I responded back that she has enough on her already and that would make his parents feel weird and they would want to do the dinner at their house and to just forget the dinner idea all together. I wasn't trying to create drama and yet I somehow managed. Then I pointed out that Saturday after Mr. Clean and Daddy Clean left I stayed home and worked on my place because I had to be at the restaurant at 3. Then yesterday it was just the 3 of us and it was very nice.
She doesn't want me to marry him. She doesn't like him. She is pushing the wedding because she wants to do what all her friends expect. I am so fed up and irritated and I am doing my very very best to remain positive and sweet but I swear I will be drinking on my wedding day in order to maintain my positive attitude!!!!!!
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