Wrapping up 2014

Sunday 12/28 I ran the Belk Bowl 5K. I was happy with my official time, but it was not a PR. My runkeeper app said my pace was 8:36, I have got to get a watch. Runkeeper is not accurate. I was talking to my friend Erin and she said she has a new balance watch that she loves. I need a watch that accurately records my pace and distance. Since I am a little technologically slow the garmin might not be the first watch I need to purchase. The timex that my brother and SIL got me does not record the miles just my time.

Monday is a night I will probably never forget. I mentioned that D's first wife had reached out to me via FB. Her message was put into my other folder and so it sat from July to November without me ever seeing it. Finally I was home one day in November and checking FB from the computer and I saw it. I wrote her back and said that I had prayed for her so many times because I can't imagine what she lived through and that I would love to hear her story. She offered to meet me.

Originally we were supposed to meet the Saturday after thanksgiving but that had to be postponed. Then there was another evening we were going to meet and that had to be postponed again. Monday I texted that morning to make sure that we were still on and she said yes. It's a little odd to meet up with someone who you have never met and feel like you know so much about them. I walked in and she had just arrived. She is very pretty. We sat and talked for 3 hours. I told her more than once how much I appreciated her meeting me and talking to me.

I discovered we are just as much alike as I always suspected. I learned a lot and realized that the patterns that I recognized had been going on for so much longer than my marriage. I love her. In fact I've had to restrain myself from going crazy girl and texting and tagging on FB because I don't want to be scary. I'm just so thankful to have met her.

Tuesday night I got to catch up with Jess. I love when it works out for us to catch up and I thoroughly enjoyed dinner and coffee! She totally got me hooked on the Praline latte at Starbucks and I'm going to be sad when it goes away!

Wednesday I had the day off work. I started the day with a run. Jack and I did 4 miles. I had an appointment with the counselor at the Concord church. I had reached out the week of Christmas because I was just so angry at D. Not because he had moved on but because he was still sending me messages of love while planning a future with his new girlfriend.

The counselor had emailed me back Tuesday and asked if I wanted to come in and I made an appointment to go see her Wednesday. She and I talked about everything that had been going on and that was helpful! I told her about meeting the first wife and how special that was and how much it helped me. Then I told her that I know from my past relationships that I have tried to make better and be helpful and I think I've been misdirecting that and my desire to make a difference is not a bad thing I think there is a bigger picture perspective to it.

I've been reading a book called Made in the USA about human sex trafficing. It's APPALLING! It's so difficult for me to read that I'm not yet finished and I know that bringing awareness to what is going on is critical!

I told the counselor about the book and we began talking. There is a lady in the Concord church who has an organization that works to rescue these victims. The counselor asked if I would like to meet her and for us all to have lunch so I can find out more of what I can do. I jumped all over that!!! I am so excited, nervous and scared, but SO excited!!! With my years in Al-anon I have the ability to really understand and know how to help without enabling, how to detach with love, how to have boundaries but still be loving. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds for me as I begin to explore this journey that the Lord is starting to lead me on!

After my meeting with the counselor I met Patrice for lunch. Then I drove home to help my mom vacuum and get the house ready for her party. Then I went down to Tiffany's house where I rang in 2015 with her and K.

We had such a blast! Tiff made dinner and then each hour she had a different activity for K. We played princess monopoly, we had a glow stick dance party, we played Minion Life, and we celebrated the new year in an unforgettable way! Up until last night my favorite NYE had always been 2007 ringing in 2008 with Josh. That had been such a fun and easy night. Last night now takes the place as my favorite NYE!

Today I went to the gym to start the new year right! Mom is making collards, black eyed peas and pork. We'll have our New Years day meal and then tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm so excited for what 2015 holds! I think it's going to look very different than anything I ever anticipated or expected but God is definitely moving and I trust His timing and His plan!

5 Minutes

Amy said that Audra has not stopped talking about her party. I would say that it was all a success!

It was so much fun putting all that together!

Saturday morning I woke up early and got myself ready, got Audra ready, vacuumed and then Amy arrived just after 9 and we headed to the party room.

Amy had the white table cloths, we got those on the tables and I started decorating the tables while she set up the face painting stuff and craft table.

My MIL arrived with the food and we got that stored.

Daron arrived with the balloons and helped cut sandwiches.

Our guests started arriving.

They had their faces painted, did crafts, lots of pictures were being snapped, and then it was lunch time.

It pretty much poured rain the entire time, but we were warm and dry inside!

After lunch we did the birthday cake, and then the pinata and then the girls just played while I started putting things away.

My mom said that everyone had such a good time, they didn't even want to leave. I could not have asked for things to have gone any smoother than they did.

I was SO TIRED!

We went back to our house for Audra to open presents. Her favorite, the Barbie Muskateers movie from Uncle Brian and Aunt Jenny. She watched it no less than 6 times between Saturday and Sunday and she acted out parts of it.

Sunday morning we had church. I tried for a long run Sunday but the stomach bug from earlier in the week was not entirely out of my system so I only got 4 miles in.

Monday I made it to chair fit, but my stamina is still not quite where I'm used to.

Tuesday night I made it to my meeting.

Last night I cleaned for my parents and then came home and cleaned our bathroom.

Tonight my goal is to get a run in with Jack, I just didn't have the energy on Tuesday.

I am ready for a nap, and it's only 7:45 am... The good news is tomorrow is Friday!

Catching up on Christmas

I returned to work last Thursday and while I was 100% it was do-able. Friday was better than Thursday. I left work on Friday to pick Audra up.

We had our Christmas with her Friday night. She loved the dress up clothes, the Holiday Barbie, and most of all she LOVED her refurbished Kindle. We had already downloaded her favorite apps. She spent the rest of the evening on her Kindle.

Saturday morning I was up bright and early to drive to downtown/uptown Charlotte. I was running the Belk Bowl 5K with my friend Nicole. I was early enough that I got in a 30 minute nap before she arrived at our designated parking garage.

It was a beautiful clear cold morning for running. Because I had the flu earlier in the week I had no goal in mind other than just running. Because of the optimal temp, and the flat course I realized I could actually do really well for this race. So I pushed pretty hard all the way through it. I had nothing left to sprint out the finish and I wish I would have because I could have shaved time off my finish.

28:19 was my chip time this averages to a 9:07 per mile pace. Once I started running I was hoping to break 9 but I'll take that one and give myself the goal of breaking under 9 again in 2014. I ran an under 9 minute mile race in 2010 at the Airport 5K in October. I know that I can, I just have to train for it. First I have to get through my March half marathon.

After the race I drove home for a shower, and we took Audra back to her mom so she could go do Christmas with her mom's side in Hickory. Daron and I went to Marshalls so he could find some clothes. We both received gift cards as part of our Christmas from his parents.

I was so exhausted when we got home I took a nap, and I was in bed before 9. I guess I might have pushed it a little hard running the race.

Sunday morning I had nursery and then we got Audra for a few hours. We went to Daron's parent's house so they could watch her open her Christmas presents. She got several sets of legos, 3 Barbie movies, boots, and Barbie accessories. I've got to purchase something for her to store all of her legos in. I also probably need to find something for her to store her Barbie stuff in. Currently it all sits in a box and I think she needs something better.

Daron took Audra back to her Mom and I took my car to Sams for a tire rotation and because my tire light had come on. Turns out I had a leak, which they fixed. They also replaced my windshield wipers for me.

I'm at work today and off tomorrow and Wednesday. I love the Holidays! I was about to say it will be hard returning to reality but I realized that I have the following Friday off so I can get everything done before Audra's birthday party.

The Christmas that wasn't

Friday evening I finished wrapping almost everything. Saturday morning I went for a 6 mile run with Jack. I came home and colored my hair. I knew there would be a lot of pictures and I wanted to make sure that my hair looked good.

Daron wanted to visit a sandwich place for lunch and directly across from it there was a winery so it was a fun afternoon of lunch and then wine tasting for me. We met a coworker of mine because she had my Avon order. I was starting to feel a little off, scratchy throat, achey, not sure what was going on.

Early on Sunday morning I woke up with chills and when I took my temperature it was 102. Sunday I spent the whole day on the couch. Monday I would have spent the same way except I went to the doctor.

Monday morning the weather was awful. Pouring down rain made the drive into Charlotte terrible! I almost spun out trying to get off the exit from Independence onto Wendover. I made it to my doctor appointment with 5 minutes to spare and then waited an additional 25 minutes because they were so busy.

I had to go from Concord over to Huntersville for the Tamiflu that the doctor prescribed. I left the house at 9:40 on Monday morning and I got home around 3. The rest of the day I was in bed. I had pulled out our couch bed so that I didn't share germs with Daron.

My original plan for Monday had been to spend the day with Mom helping to get everything ready for Christmas.

Tuesday was Christmas Eve. I had planned for a long run, that didn't happen. I spent the day on the couch. Daron's dad dropped off dinner and presents and picked up the presents we had for his family. Our original plan had been the 4pm church service and then going to his parent's at 6.

Christmas morning was supposed to have been with Audra opening presents and then hosting our families and Amy for a Christmas breakfast. Instead Daron went over to see Audra and took the presents we had for Amy and Audra's brother.

We did end up watching 2 Christmas movies yesterday afternoon that were cute. I was in bed by 8. This flu thing is no joke!

Fortunately I have been with no fever for more than 24 hours so I was able to come back to work this morning. I'm definitely moving a little slower than usual! I know that if I had to get the flu, coming down with it when I did have so many consecutive days off work was probably the most ideal time. It was just hard to cancel all my Christmas plans!

At some point in the near future I know I'll celebrate and be able to give my family their presents. Margs called me from Canada on Monday and told me in the next 3 months they will be back in the States which pretty much almost makes up for the missed out Christmas knowing that she is going to be back in driving distance!

I missed my nephews first Christmas and I am thankful that there are lots of pictures so even though I couldn't be there I still have pictures!

Life in our house

This weekend Audra informed us that she wants to be on TV. She talked about being on stage for her ballet recital. She talked about her love for dance.

She still talks about ballet like she went to class yesterday, and it's been since May that she's had class.

Instead of ballet classes I bought her bed, and I'm paying for school, and if I could I would pay for ballet but this year it's just not happening. It makes me sad, because I love watching her as much as she loves dancing.

Sunday morning I curled her hair for church. I put her in a chair in front of my standing mirror and let her watch. She has a habit of making faces in mirrors, or in general, and I told her she needed to start practicing making pretty faces. I told her if she was going to be on TV she needs to practice. She said she changed her mind and she doesn't want to be on TV then.

I've thought a lot recently about G. I think because of the fact that Audra is the same age now as G was when I was a part of her life. I used to let G help me bake, on a regular basis. I don't offer the same for Audra. Audra doesn't have the concentration or patience and I don't bake as much as I did when I was with CF.

I spend significantly more time with Audra one on one than I did with G. I believe the reason is because of the relationship that I have with Amy. We are very different but we appreciate each other, and I think that's why it works for us.

Last night I was going through pictures and saw that D had uploaded several years of I Phone pictures. Baby pictures of Audra up to this year. He had to unload them from his phone because he was running out of space. I browsed the pictures and fortunately he does have documentation of Audra between 2-3 years old. I may snag a few and upload the pictures. I felt a lot of emotion going through the pictures because of where I was, and what life was like.

There was a picture that was from the night that I think of as when all he11 broke loose in our house. I thought about it and this morning I made sure I went and deleted it and deleted it from the recycle bin. I just don't want any pictures of that night. I'm also always struck by how much Audra has changed, as well as my nieces. Sometimes it's hard to know how fast they grow up. I looked at the little faces in nursery Sunday and realized how quickly they are changing. I've been volunteering for a year now, so even in that year I've watched some of them grow.

Currently in our house there is disagreement over the setting of the heat. When I lived in my condo I kept the heat pretty low and just wore clothes. My husband wants to wear shorts, and turn the heat up. The Christmas pictures that I posted on FB he's in jeans and a sweater, Audra is in long sleeves a dress and leggings and I'm in shorts and a tank top because our house was like a flipping sauna.

I put the electric blanket underneath the fitted sheet on D's side so that he can have heat, and yet he still thought we would leave the heat on the same setting. I stood my ground. His blanket heat travels, which is bad enough, add to that having the heat set near 80 and it's ridiculous. Last night I put my foot down, and lowered the heat. I bumped it back up this morning when I woke up so he wouldn't wake up to a cold house. My philosophy is you can put clothes on if you are cold!

I went to Abs & Booty class last night. You know it was a good workout when you put your first step on the stair at work and you realize you are a little sore. Then later on in the morning I sneezed and my abs hurt. Not a pain that is unreasonable just enough to know that I did something!

Happy Tuesday!

injury, shopping, sheets, bugs, cute pictures

This past Monday night I went to my chair fit class. During one of the moves I was supposed to be using my shoulder blades to balance on the chair. Unfortunately for me I did not balance quite right and the chair went out from behind me. I landed on my elbows, on concrete, it hurt! I am sporting bruises on both elbows and today is the first day that I can touch something with my elbow without experiencing shooting pain. No pain, no gain.

Tuesday instead of running I made a trip to Concord Mills to pick up a vinyl mattress cover, and a mattress cover. I went ahead and bought a waterproof matress cover. I want this mattress to last a long time, and I want to make sure that it is protected as possible!

Last night I cleaned at my parents house. When I got home I washed and dried Audra's sheets so they are ready to be put on her bed. I want to make sure that I have the bed made and ready to go when she arrives Friday.

This morning driving in to work I see this crawly thing coming out of the side of my windshield on the inside. I wasn't sure if it was a really huge spider or some other kind of bug but it was big, and it was dark, and I was going 70 miles an hour on 485 and there was traffic all around me. My first thought was I can not have a wreck over this.

So I open the driver side window hoping whatever it was would be drawn toward the air, no such luck. Instead it fell and so now it's crawling somewhere around me, and I'm in traffic going 70+ miles an hour. It landed on my hand and I'm sure those around me got quite the show as I screamed and shook my one hand.

Then the stupid thing went on my steering wheel and I screamed again and flung it.

Finally I was at my exit, and so I knew where I could stop safely. I am so lucky I didn't get a ticket for going up Rea doing 60 in a 40. I pulled into the piper glen shopping center into a well lit part and flung open all my doors. I had been there for a few minutes when a police officer cruised by and asked if I was OK.

I cleared out the passenger seat side, and there was nothing. When I went back around to the driver side, there it was. I have no idea what kind of gross, yucky, disgusting bug it was but this is why keeping extra shoes in a car is critical. I used a shoe to end that bugs life and then used the same shoe to move that dead bug on out onto the pavement.

Meanwhile my phone was going off. I had these cute pictures. Today is Wacky Tacky day at Audra's school.

The cuteness helped me feel a little better after having to deal with the bug!

Happy Thursday!

5 Minutes

Friday afternoon I picked Audra up. She had been at the beach and she had a lot to tell me!

Interspersed with information about the week at the beach she kept talking about her friend who lives across the street. I texted D and told him to find out if K could come over when we got home.

We arrived home and it worked out for K to come play. The girls played until 9.

Saturday morning I got up and got ready, got Audra ready, and we went to CFA for breakfast. Apparently there are lots of dad's who give mom a break on Saturday mornings because there were lots of dad's in with their kids.

If you ask Audra what's the rule at CFA she knows she has to eat before she can play. She ate and went and played until we had to leave for my friend's party. Rachelle and I met one evening at an Awakened event and we've stayed in touch ever since. She was hosting a 31 party so Audra and I went and enjoyed our time. Her little dog Martini is the cutest thing, and Audra was in love!

After the party we drove over to the Gem Theatre in Kannapolis. They have a party room that I wanted to check out for Audra's birthday party. The room is a nice size space, and should work great for her 5th birthday party.  I put the deposit down and girlfriend has invited every person that we have met since then to her party.

I've tried to explain a few times that she has to get past Thanksgiving and Christmas first but she's not really hearing me.

When we got home Saturday afternoon K came over to play. We went to church Saturday evening and then K went home to help her brother celebrate his birthday.

Sunday morning I ran 8 miles. I tried a new route that I do not love but it worked and it's flat, and after the plaguing injury caused by hills I'm going to go with this route for a while.

Sunday afternoon we drove to Statesville and enjoyed the balloon festival. It was a lot of fun and we enjoyed ourselves! There were port a potties set up in a couple different places but no actual restrooms. Getting a 4 year old in and out of a port a potty without touching anything was quite a feat. I'm still cringing thinking about that little adventure. We stayed for a few hours, and had Audra back to her Mom at 5.

Today my arms and my neck hurt. Audra is my baby, the only child I'm going to have. When we were at the festival she wanted to be carried and I carried her. She weighs a good 50lbs now.  I am soooo paying for carrying her too much yesterday.  I'm going to have to start carrying her less it's just hard because I know that she's going to be my only kid and I want to savor this last little bit of her being "little" enough for me to carry her.

Last night I finally unloaded pictures from the camera onto the computer. The pictures go back to June. Considering how few there were, I am horrible at documenting life with a camera.

Today I picked up my rent check from the property manager's office. The check had not arrived on Friday and she told me that she would cut another check. She was so awesome about it for which I am thankful. Her office is located in Southpark area which is an area that I love. I knew the back way from her office to a BOA branch, I felt ridiculously proud of myself for remembering the back way out to the bank.

It's Monday, but a short week for me, and I am so excited to be headed to PA at the end of this week!

Training, Furniture, Baking, Month coming up

The thing about training, I have a LOT of downtime. I have to look like I'm working on applicable documents. When I started 4 years ago this is how I found so many blogs. I had downtime during training, training lasted several weeks, and during that time I found most of the blogs that I still read today.

This time around I can't access some blogs, and I no longer have reader so I'm trying to find the time at home to make sure that I check in. This week checking in has been challenging because there has been so much going on.

Monday night I took Jack for a run, and I was in bed fairly early.

Tuesday at lunch I went to a furniture store that's close to my office. I think I've found the perfect bed for Audra. This past weekend she told us that she wants her own bed. I am so excited about this. In order to make this work I plan to let her pick out her own bedding. Saturday I plan to take her to the store and show her the bed. With Audra if she doesn't have a say, and doesn't get to give her approval than chances of her accepting the bed are slim to none.

Tuesday afternoon I had an appointment with Beth. I'll write a separate post for an update on that. Tuesday after my appointment I drove back to Concord, changed clothes, picked up my cleaning stuff, and headed over to clean the office for the last time. I'm really praying about what to do about picking up an extra side job. I clean for my mom every other week and that may be enough but I would really like to continue to have an extra little something that brings me fun money.

Wednesday I was able to take Jack for a run. The weather here has been gorgeous! I love October in NC!

Thursday I had a chiropractor appointment. I will not be running the half marathon on 10/12. I made the decision to run the 5miler instead. I am doing a lot better but I have not had the time to properly train and I feel like the best decision is going to be backing off for this race and hopefully running the Charlotte half on 11/16.

I left the chiropractor and headed home. I took Jack out, changed clothes and started baking. I volunteered items for the bake sale at Audra's school. I made peanut butter with peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and schotcheroos. The hard part was not the baking, it was putting all the cookies into bags and writing out and attaching the labels. I started at around 5:30 and I finished at midnight. I never ever ever stay up that late. I had to be up at my normal time. Next year if I volunteer to bake again I'll make sure that I plan accordingly and plan to take the next day off from work or come in late.

This morning I stopped at Starbucks on my way in for a Mocha Light Frappuccino with an extra shot, I need a caffeine drip for real!

I will leave from work today and head directly to the school. I'm not sure yet exactly what I'll be doing but Amy is face painting and Daron has a table and will be talking to people about his new business. He has created a website that has events for Cabarrus County and offers places where kids eat for free, as well as coupons and deals for the local area. The site launched last night and I am so super excited. He has been working for months and to see it become a reality last night is truly incredible! He had the idea at the beginning of this year and has been working to make it happen.

Despite the fact that today is only October 4, I feel like the month of October is already gone. There is just so much going on! This weekend is Fall Festival. Next weekend will be my 5 miler on Saturday and my nephews baptism on Sunday. The last weekend of this month I'll be travelling with my parents to see my Uncle Roger and Aunt Linda in Pittsburgh. I haven't been up since 2010 so I am definitely overdue for a visit!

Happy Friday!

5 Minutes

Thursday night I met up with Lisa for dinner. It was so fantastic to finally catch up!!! Our schedules stay full so despite living in the same area we hadn't seen each other since June. While we were enjoying dinner Daron had a men's night event at church. I was so very delighted that he went. He had said that he wanted to go, but it's easy to be tired and unmotivated at the end of a long day!

When I picked Audra up on Friday afternoon she told me in the car on the way to the first stop that she was tired. This is highly unusual for her to ever say "I'm tired". She fell asleep before we got to the store. My original plan was to take her to look for tennis shoes, and then to dinner. She wasn't in the mood for pizza so we headed home after looking for shoes.

She fell asleep Friday night, I thought again, maybe she's just tired from the field trip today. Saturday morning I woke up for a run, not nearly the distance I would have liked but I scheduled an appointment for my car at 9:15 and I had to be out the door by 8:40 and where I was running I didn't feel safe going out while it was still dark at 5:30 so I just cut the mileage.

My Mom picked Audra and I up from the car place and we went to breakfast. From breakfast we went to the farmer's market and on to the International Festival at the University of NC at Charlotte. 60 countries were represented and it was such a neat day! The weather was perfect and we walked to the different tents outside first. When we arrived we picked up a passport book that they had available for those who wanted to collect stamps for their passport book. I made sure to have our book stamped at each tent. Our first stamp was from China and there was a young man who wrote Audra's name in Chinese, it's really cool! After China we visited several other countries, and in Serbia there was a young lady who wrote Audra's name in Serbian. A few other countries also had someone who would write your name and it was neat to see the different ways that Audra's name was spelled!

We went inside and visited more tents. Inside the arena where the basketball games are held they had a stage set up for dancers. This was Audra's favorite part! It was approaching 1 and my car was ready so we left the campus to pick up my car and we said goodbye to my Mom.

Driving back towards Concord Audra told me she was tired. This concerned me and I told her to go ahead and rest her eyes for our drive back. Daron was working on a project so I needed to spend some more time out of the house. I decided to go to the Concord mall to look for shoes again and grab some lunch.

We went to one store and they had a pair of shoes that Audra liked but they were more than what I wanted to spend on shoes. I told her we would keep them in mind but that we would not purchase them right then. We went to another shoe store and we found 2 pairs of shoes that equaled the one pair at the other store. I explained to Audra that instead of buying the 1 pair we were able to buy a pair for Mommy's house and Daddy's house. I am not sure how much of that she took away but I did try and teach her about how to wait, and how to make money stretch.

After lunch and tcby for me, she didn't want any, we headed to the grocery store. I planned to make brownies and chocolate chip cookies for small group. Daron took Audra to the park and I was able to get both the brownies and cookies baked before they got home. When they got back I was putting away laundry and watching say yes to the dress on Netflix. I called Audra in to see a really pretty dress and she wanted me to pick her up. As I was holding her I realized that she was hot so I took her temperature. Sure enough she had a fever.  I gave her medicine and we went to bed early.

Sunday morning she woke me up at 7:30. I took her temperature and it was normal. We got ready for church and went to church and our plan was to look for beds for Audra after church. I had a feeling though, and took her temperature and sure enough she had a fever again so we did not go shopping for a bed. I settled her on the couch and made her eat some mac and cheese. We made arrangements to hand her off to her mom before small group.

In small group we're meeting every other week and discussing the sermon from the day. I love the format and I really love the group we're a part of! My cookies and brownies were a hit with everyone, which is always nice! Daron joined me and he really enjoyed the evening as well!

Over the weekend Audra let us know that she is ready for her own bed. Halleluiah!!!! I'm currently on a search for a white loft bed. I've checked craigslist and ebay, and I'm watching for just the right deal! I'm going to let her pick out the bedding this time. I knew that she would tell us when she was ready, and that it would have to be her idea. Sure enough that is exactly what's happened!

Friday Fun Day - or at least getting stuff done day

Something I haven't talked about lately is running. I'm now up to mile 12, as of tomorrow, and my next half marathon is coming up in October.

I've had some issues with cramps, and running clothes that eat my skin, but overall I'm doing well with my training this go round. I'm also pleased with how much cross training I've actually been able to do this time.

Last night we had Audra's orientation at her new school. I am so very very excited for her, for this new experience. There are a lot of families from our church who have children who go to this school so I'm excited for the friendships that are bound to come of this.

Today we were supposed to have gone on a rafting trip. Fortunately D waited too late to try and call and book it. I say fortunately because it would have been so cold!!! It is the middle of August in NC and I woke up this morning to temperatures in the low 60's. This is unheard of in these parts!

I made it to the gym this morning and did weights and a few minutes on the elliptical machine. Then I went to my oil change appointment. I took advantage of a day of work to make this happen. I have to get new back breaks, it is always something!!!

We'll be getting Audra this afternoon and I have no idea what we will do this weekend. It's supposed to rain for the next several days straight. It has been such a rainy cool summer, which honestly, I'm not complaining. I like this change and I'm sure next summer is going to be crazy hot and humid as usual.

Happy Friday to all!!!

Past and Present

The other day I was thinking that 10 years ago I was 23, and 10 years from now I will be 43.

It feels like yesterday that I was 23. I was dating Martin, the way too old for me, wanted to be a pilot guy from Sweden. April 2003 the bridal store had just opened and I was in awe that I was working with such high end bridal gowns. 

It took a few months but that following August I had the conversation with the store owner and the manager that I wasn't closing the sales necessary for me to continue in my role as bridal consultant. I landed the job working for the work comp only carrier in September and thus began my insurance career.

I broke up with Martin shortly after I started that job. His true colors had started to show.

After I broke up with Martin he called Patrice asking her for a date. She didn't go out with him, and she immediately called me to tell me about it.

I have a picture on my desk of Margs and I on Mother's Day 2001, she was graduating that day from App, I had walked the day before although I wouldn't officially graduate until August. I look at the 2 girls in the picture and in some ways it feels like yesterday not the actual 12 years that have passed since that day. Yet as much as it seems like yesterday I realize that as I develop goals and dreams for the future it really has been that long ago.

We, Amy, Daron and I, met with the headmaster for the school where Audra will be attending next year. 2 years have passed since I first came into this family of mine. We're an interesting group for sure. Last week we had Amy and Audra's brother over for dinner and movies. We all had a great time! Both Daron and my Mother think we are strange. The both make comments, and I simply stand firm on the statement that we want Audra to have this, she loves having us all together.

There is a house next to ours that has sat empty since before I married Daron. Recently the broken window was replaced and Monday there was a man mowing the lawn. Daron got the name of the owner and called him. Our hope is that we will be able to figure out a way to move Amy, Audra and Audra's brother next door.

This will bring with it unknown challenges, and I'm certain that there would be a necessary time of adjustments but overall we think it would be absolutely ideal to have the 3 of them next to us. I've been praying about all the details of having them closer for a while now. I kept thinking it would be Daron and I who would move but it's looking more like it might be Amy moving closer to us. Only God knows how these details will work out. I am excited to see what He is going to do!

This past Monday I attended my 2nd Bikini Bootcamp class. We did a lot of things but I think what really did me in was the 150 squats, oh my gosh do my legs hurt!!!!! They are actually much better today but Tuesday and yesterday I was not moving fast!

My next race is Saturday April 27, then I have Brian and Jenny's shower, then I have nursery. I also was invited to a birthday party but I really don't think I'm going to be able to squeeze that in to the day since it's all the way in Pineville and I feel like the day is already scheduled enough.

Sunday Shoot

When I picked Audra up on Friday afternoon I met Kodi, the new puppy. He's adorable! He's going to be huge, but right now he's just a little furball.

Amy had a photo shoot scheduled for Sunday to update portfolio pictures. She had clothes laid out and she was trying to figure out outfits. I went back with her and helped by giving my opinion on what would work. I style Audra all the time, I love putting looks together!

I knew what Amy would be wearing so Saturday I took Audra to Children's Place. We weren't sure how many shots the kids would be in but since I knew what Amy's wardrobe looked like I picked up a few things that would compliment her looks.

Amy actually invited me to be there during the photo shoot. I talked to D and we figured out our weekend schedule so that I was able to participate.

The photographer shooting is an old friend of Amy's. I had Audra there at the appointed time. The first shot Amy wanted to do included an outfit for Audra that Audra hated.

Because she hated it, and she was being told she had to wear it anyway, she promptly turned on the waterworks. Because it was her mom, I told her that she loves her mom, her mom needs her to cooperate, and that she needed to get over it. Then I backed off and bit my tongue. It's up to her mom to handle it, not me. I think the pictures are going to turn out great in spite of the attitude and I can't wait to see them.

After the first shot, Amy packed up her wardrobe and I went with her and the photographer to Birkdale to shoot a few more outfits. 

The pictures of Amy will likely be amazing. I am so glad that I was able to participate. After 3 outfits at Birkdale we made our way back to the house and she had 2 more outfit shots. I enjoyed the experience, despite the very chilly temperature!

We put Audra in her colorful swing dress that she wore to the wedding she and I went to back in September. The photographer said he got some fantastic shots of her, so I'm excited to see how those turned out.

I truly believe that these updated shots for the portfolio will land her new jobs. She looked amazing and so sophisticated. I'm looking forward to seeing where this takes her!

Saturday, and the sucker punch

I had a full day on Saturday. I had my first race of the year. I took Audra to Children's Place to pick out some outfits for her photos yesterday. I went to my condo to clean, only to discover that the power is still out, and I'm not sure how to get to the breaker.

I got home and Audra had the little girl from across the street as her guest. They were playing, not well, but they were playing. I was thoroughly entertained when our little drama queen tried to turn on the water works because she wasn't getting her way and her guest looked at her, asked "what's wrong Audra", then promptly went back to doing what she wanted to do.

After her guest left we decided to watch a movie. I was reading a book so I wasn't paying that close of attention. Then we put Lion King on, and I was paying a little more attention to that one.

I decided to check FB and on my news feed I see it, and oh talk about feeling like I had been sucker punched in my stomach.

I always broke up with him. I always wanted to believe it could work. I can't drive to High Point, which is right next to Winston, or Boone, without thinking about him.

I understand why it never worked between us. My marriage has taught me quite a bit about relationship, and Al-Anon has taught me how to handle things when dealing with the disease of alcoholism.

I kind of lean towards the belief that the one whose engagement I saw had some issues with alcohol of his own, except he was never mean to me. We were together off and on for 3 years, but always in touch.

When I met Daron I didn't tell him. He found out about my engagement on FB, fitting that I found out the same way. I didn't expect an email, or forewarning. I had to cut contact after the wedding. He's one of the few ex-boyfriends still on my FB. We went back too far and had too much history for me to delete him. We were friends, who never could make a relationship between us work.

I know the reasons why. I've probably talked about the reasons at some point or another. I know I married the right one for me, no matter how frustrating and aggravating he can be. I've had some time; I left a comment, congratulations and best wishes.

I don't think I ever realized that just because you get married it doesn't make the old feelings go away. Just because you are now tied to someone doesn't erase the past. It never crossed my mind during the revolving door of my love life that there would still be those who would haunt me even after I said "I do".

5 Minutes

It's Wednesday and it's just been a crazy week!

Friday I left work at 12 and stopped by the grocery store on my way home. I was holding my breath that they would still have milk, they did! I picked up lasagna ingredients, a few things for Audra and headed home.

Daron met Amy and picked Audra up at 2, right when it was starting to get bad. The ice and sleet left everything around our house a solid sheet of ice. Audra's ballet class for Saturday morning was cancelled.

Saturday morning was actually sunny, so I was able to drive to the gym, I was careful but didn't have any trouble.

We took Audra to Big Lots to pick out something with her birthday money. She found a little finger nail polish bag gift set on clearance that she immediately wanted. We walked around with her just to make sure. Anytime she would see something different we would ask her which she wanted more. She paid with her money and had just enough.

The next stop was chick fil a for lunch, she loves it, Daron and I are not huge fans. So while she ate and played he went on to Walmart to pick up a few things.

Sunday was church followed by lunch at Daron's parents. We watched the latest Bourne movie that evening, despite not having Matt Damon I still really liked it!!!

Monday we had an internal career fair in our office. It was so interesting. I actually posted for a position and talked to a corporate recruiter today. She was very nice, and told me up front that she is pretty sure they have identified their candidate for the job. I knew that the post had been up a while so I'm not shocked by this. It would have been fascinating but she told me that this department has frequent openings because of the opportunities for advancement.

I made it to the gym Monday night. I did my Jillian workout DVD last night. I'm trying to stay consistent. I don't mind working out I just wish that I actually saw results, on my lower half.

I took a late lunch today because of my scheduled phone call so now I'm almost home free for the day. The office is waiting on me to be cleaned and then I have my last class at church tonight. It's been an interesting class series and I'm glad I've been able to go. It makes for a long day but it's worth it.

I somehow managed to break my 2 favorite pairs of sunglasses in the same day last week. I found a brown pair at Kohls that work, and I will probably try to find one more pair at Marshalls just to have a black pair.

Last week it was freezing cold and miserable, today they are calling for tornadoes, I wish the weather would stay cold and kill all the bugs!!!

Happy Wednesday!

A very full few days!!!

I mentioned in my last post I had no idea why I was up at 4:30 except I did. I was still furious. It's been a few days and I'm much calmer now.

Friday night when I left for dinner with my parents and Audra I forgot my phone on the kitchen counter. I had to take Jack out, had to move Audra's seat to my parent's car and then we got to the restaurant and my parent's friends were there and we got to talking. I really wasn't paying attention to the fact that I didn't have my phone.

We left for dinner at 5 and we got home at 7:30. Before I went in I moved Audra's seat back to my car and then walked into the house. I picked up my phone and what I didn't know was that it had been ringing and Daron was on the line. So I said hi honey how are you. He was livid. apparently because I wasn't picking up and wasn't responding to texts we were rolled over into a ditch somewhere. He was further livid because I didn't think to call him. He was so furious with me that we had a 12 minute phone conversation in which I got my rear end handed to me. Lovely, that just made me want to go home so much.

I said goodbye to my parents and got Audra in the car. Of course my mom is now upset because she's had this awesome day with us and now I'm leaving on this note, not a great way to have to say goodbye.

We got home and Audra showed her Dad all the presents she received from my parents. It was close to bedtime when we got home so I got her in bed and put a movie on. I was so mad that I didn't sleep all that well.

When Daron gets scared he goes into attack mode and it's not pleasant. I understand that he was worried and that worry turned into full on anxiety and his mind was spinning a thousand miles an hour. Next time if I realize I left my phone I'll call. It honestly, didn't occur to me. I had no idea that we would be gone 2 1/2 hours. I don't think that's such a long time to go without contact, I would have figured he left his phone and just waited a few more hours before I contacted him again. It is what it is. He thinks I'm the one who is wrong because I think he overreacted. I've decided to let it go and make sure that I don't leave my phone again any time soon. Not like I did it on purpose anyways. I did apologize regarding the fact that he was so worried. I have more thoughts but I'm letting it go, it's over.

Saturday morning I woke Audra up and got her to ballet. Daron and I had a conversation on Saturday morning and he offered that I could go to my parent's for Christmas Eve and spend the night and I jumped on the chance! I asked if it would be ok if I went to the gym after ballet and he agreed.

After ballet we arrived home and D needed to go to the store so Audra and I played while he ran his errand. Then I got to go to the gym, which was awesome! I stopped for gas on my way home. Saturday night was low key and easy, which is a good thing considering how busy the next 2 days were.

Sunday morning I took Jack for a very cold run! It was 24 degrees when we started. I got home and ready and got Audra up and bathed and dressed. She looked so adorable in her little dress!!! We got to church early since we knew it would be crowded. Audra's Sunday school class was singing Oh Come All Ye Faithful.

Amy arrived a little bit after the service started, we were both so excited that she was able to come! Audra's class came out and sang, and they were just too cute! Audra saw her mom and made a beeline to her and did not go back to class. She kept asking her mom if she could go home with her. When she was getting her way it started a meltdown of epic meltdowns.

Amy said goodbye, and we got a crying Audra in the car. She fell asleep on the way home. We left her in the car while we loaded up the presents for Daron's family. After lunch Audra and I opened our presents from everyone and they opened our gifts to them. I received a gift card so I can finally get new running shoes and a VS gift card, so thankful!!!

One of Audra's gifts was a furby, oh my gosh that thing is ridiculously creepy!!!!

Sunday night we were in bed early, we were all exhausted! Monday morning I got to the gym and got a workout in. I got home, showered, and ready and Audra woke up and we did Christmas morning with her on Christmas Eve.

Amy arrived at 2:30 and she and Luke opened the presents Audra had for them. Amy gave us presents as well which was so sweet!

After they left I loaded up my car and took Jack to my parents while D headed to his. It was so amazing to see my family. Probably my favorite part of all of this is that I had the opportunity to spend that whole night with my family. I was able to spend the night and wake up on Christmas morning with my family and it was wonderful!!!

We had breakfast at 9, which Daron joined us for. Then we opened up our presents. It was such a great Christmas!!!

The rest of yesterday was spent just hanging out at home. I took Jack for a walk and we were in bed early. Driving in to work this morning was a challenge, the rain was pouring and I almost hydroplaned a few times on the standing water.

The rest of this week will hopefully be fairly easy.

I hope that everyone had an amazing Christmas!!!

5 Minutes

I picked Audra up from her mom's on Friday. We had a dance party Friday night. I uploaded videos to FB but trying to upload them to here was painful. It was taking so long I just didn't have the patience.

Saturday morning I took Audra to ballet. Then we went home and I squeezed in a quick walk with Jack. We had pictures scheduled at 1:15. We took Audra to her favorite, Chick Fil A, before we had to be at the appointment.

Our picture turned out beautifully. Daron purchased a deal of 1 picture each month for $20. For December we decided to do a family shot. We are both super excited at how well it turned out! We purchased 4 more 5X7 pictures for our families.

Saturday after pictures we hung out for a little while longer and then Daron took Audra home while I fixed a batch of scotcharoos and disappearing brownies. I discovered the brownie recipe a while back, and it's so delicious! Preheat the oven to 350 and grease a 13x9 glass baking dish. Then melt a cup of butterscotch chips and 1/2 a cup of butter in the microwave. I stir at 30 second intervals until melted. In a separate bowl mix a cup of brown sugar, tsp baking powder, 1/2 tsp salt, tsp vanilla, 2 eggs and then add butterscotch and butter. Then add a bag of chocolate chips, 3/4 cup peanuts (optional), 2 cups mini marshmallows, and put in the microwave for 30 seconds, then add 1 1/2 cup of flour. Pour batter into the 13x9 dish and bake for 22 minutes. You have to leave this alone and let cool and set and then it's ready to go and it's gooey and delicious!

Daron put soup on before he left to take Audra back so we had soup and relaxed on Saturday night.

Sunday I took Jack for a run and then we went to church. After church we got out to the garage, aka storage building, and organized and purged and moved Audra's big doll house out there. We were so excited to have that done!

The rest of Sunday was a low key easy day!

I did start the up day down day/alternate day/intermittent diet on Saturday. Even baking, I was good. I found a calculator online that let me know how many calories for my down days and up days so I was able to enjoy the soup on Saturday and stay within the allotted calorie range. Yesterday I was actually able to enjoy a brownie. The hard part will be today sitting at my desk all day for a down day. I can do it, I know I can!

Happy Monday! Back to work for me!

chair fit, house wishes, presents

I've managed to stay fairly consistent with my working out. I ran 4 miles with Jack on Sunday. Last night I went to a chair fit class. Oh my gosh it kicked my rear!

The name sounds easy enough, but what a workout!!! Using a chair to sit, lean, anchor, etc. every part of your body is worked. While it was not a cardio class it was definitely a workout!

I've been searching homes in Huntersville. I wish that we could move closer to Audra. It's not that we are that far away now but 25 minutes is an hour round trip. Once she starts kindergarten we would like to be able to work out a one week on one week off schedule. The way this would work best is if we live closer to Amy.

There is time and I see no way to sell my condo anytime in the near future. The house market is recovering but not that fast. I'm just wishful thinking. I would LOVE for Audra to have her own room. Currently her room is the front room. You walk in the front door and you are in her room.

D talked about putting a wall up and I think he would still like to do this. The catch is, it's not our house. We pay rent to his parent's, it's his grandparent's house, the house his mom grew up in.

I don't think about all these facts often. I can't change anything right now so I have to accept and appreciate where we are and what we have. I just wish that we could get Audra into her own bed.

Daron and I did a little online Christmas shopping last night. We've knocked out both our mom's, my brother and SIL, our niece, and his Grandmother. That leaves our other niece, his sister, both Dad's and the rest of Audra's Christmas.

I was given more of a budget this year to spend on each person. It's been awesome! I tried to buy something pretty and sparkly for me, but it wasn't "in the budget" so I had to take it back. I could have very easily hidden it, and snuck it into the house but I didn't. I'm trying to do better, somewhat...

I'm so ready for a nap, unfortunately that's frowned upon at work!

5 Minutes

Wednesday we had to work the full day, no letting out early for us.

I drove to the office that I clean, traffic was crazy heavy!

I was supposed to pick Audra up but her mom texted and asked if we just wanted her to bring her over on Thursday morning. We agreed that this would be the best plan.

I got home Wednesday night and Daron had dinner waiting for me and quite a bit of his food for Thursday prepped.

Thursday morning I woke up early and took Jack for a 4 mile run.

After the run and my shower I helped Daron in the kitchen. I did a lot of dishes.

Amy brought Audra at 11:30.

We left for Daron's parent's at 12:30.

Thanksgiving meal was at 1, it was a LOT of food. Daron made a pasta that had pumpkin and sausage that was amazing. He also made a green bean casserole, a veg-all casserole, and turkey tenderloins that were delicious! In addition to his food we had broccoli casserole, turkey, ham, corn, and potato salad. I'm probably missing some food but there was a lot!

Friday morning I was up early so that I could get to the gym before Daron woke up. He had to work and I had plans to take Audra and Jack to hang out with my mom.

Audra didn't wake up until 9:30. We took brownies by the clinic where I take Jack, and then drove on to my parents.

We decorated the Christmas tree and enjoyed hanging out together!

Friday night was low key and Saturday morning I was able to sleep in a little. I went to my Turkey burn zumba class, that was fun! An hour and a half of movement, hopefully I burned a few calories!

Saturday we took Audra to pick out the ornaments and bought the pink tree. We put that up on Saturday night.

Yesterday morning I was up early and took Jack for a 5 mile run. It was COLD!!!!

We went to the 11 service, followed by lunch and then we took Audra home.

My consistency is back. I was determined not to let the week that I was sick undermine my progress of the previous 3 weeks.

Tonight I have my abs and booty blast class.

I'm back at work, and back to my regular schedule, those few days off were so nice!!!

Happy Monday!!!

all over the place

I do not love sitting up to sleep. I will say that this helped me breathe and kept me from coughing!

Thanksgiving is now a week away. In all honesty I think that while I've been looking forward to it I'm also kind of apprehensive. This will be my first Thanksgiving without Grandmommy. The holidays were her favorite time of year, she loved having all her family together.

I have so many amazing memories of Thanksgiving at the farm house. I know that life moves forward and new memories are being made. I am thankful we will have Girl Clean for Thanksgiving this year. I'm not sure how Christmas will be worked out this year. Last year we had Girl Clean Christmas Eve night and Christmas Day and then her mom picked her up at 2. This year we'll either have her Christmas Eve or Christmas Day but I'm not yet sure which and it makes me twitchy.

I woke up today and it is cold and rainy. I'm thankful for the rain since we are so behind for the year on total rainfall!

I was perusing Zulily, I get so excited when that email arrives everyday!!! I may have sent an emergency text to Patrice to remind me why I am good with the one child. It was an unexpected moment of ohmygoshthatistoocutemusthavebaby. I haven't had a moment like that in a good 5 years. Thankfully she brought me back to reality.

Honestly with Girl Clean she's so not a baby anymore. She'll be 4 in January and she is such a big kid. I look at pictures from when she first came into my life and it's crazy how much she has grown.

My manager's manager is taking us to lunch today, whooohooo free lunch!!! Happy Thursday!!!

consistency has gone out the window

For the past several weeks I was consistently hitting the gym. I was making strides in my workouts and feeling good that I was pushing past the tired!

Saturday morning I made it to the gym. Sunday I made it out for a run. Sunday evening my throat was so sore. Monday morning, no voice. I woke up around 2 and had to gargle with salt water, take an alieve and then before I left for work I took a mucinex.

Fortunately I was only working 7-11. I was working 7-11 because I was picking up Girl Clean from my MIL's. I lucked out that the girl agreed to a nap. We had to run a few errands and she fell asleep on the way home. I put away the cold stuff and then got her to lay down with me and we crashed.

I was supposed to attend my first of 10 classes on Monday night at the studio where Mr. Clean purchased me the Groupon gift. Unfortunately my directions sent me the wrong way and I missed the start of the class and didn't feel that great anyways.

Tuesday morning I was up at 2:30 for gargling, and an alieve. I took Mucinex before I left for work. I was once again working 7-11. I was supposed to take my first pole class last night. I dropped Girl Clean off with her mom at 3:30 and realized on my way home that I was not going to make it to my meeting or the class. I just felt so yucky.

I called the studio, and since I lost my voice on my way home it was next to impossible to understand me on the phone. I hate being sick like this. I hate the sore throat, the nose, the cough. It's possible I picked up something from working in the nursery on Saturday night. It's possible it's the weather. Whatever it is I'm ready for it to move on.

I researched on Dr. Google and from what I found this kind of thing will move on without antibiotics if you take a decongestant and take care of yourself. So I'm trying to just do what I can without having to go pay to have the doctor tell me that I have a sinus infection and prescribe antibiotics.

I am just full of sunshine and rainbows today I realize.

The good news is it's Wednesday. This week is flying by! Two short days will do that for a week!

We have Girl Clean this weekend. Then next week I pick her up on Wednesday. I'm hoping that all goes according to plan. I just never know these days when something will change. I'm working to do better about going with the flow.