November 11-15

My CIC dinner was a fairly typical hotel banquet. I got complimented on my outfit in the ladies room by 3 women who were attending another event, always a nice little boost for my ego! I sat at a table with 2 ladies who were super nice and easy to talk to. It was overall enjoyable and the best part is I got my CIC pin.

Thursday night I met my friend for dinner before the Awakened (women's event) night at church. It was so good to catch up with her and hear what God is doing! Then the Awakened event itself, totally blown away!

This past year the Awakened events have been special but a lot of times I haven't felt super "connected" to what the message was. I appreciated it, knew that God was moving but it wasn't like in the 2011-2013 years when every time I went I was so touched by how God was right there. I survived my marriage because of church and Al-Anon. Thursday night's message was good but it was what happened as it was wrapping up that I wasn't prepared for. Pastor T said that God was calling people into full time ministry. She said and right now your heart has started beating really hard in your chest, and I thought I was having a heart attack. My heart was beating so hard it literally hurt. She went through and was praying with those who weren't right with God, then there were a list of areas that they prayed through and then she called those of us called into full time ministry to the front.

Now here's the truth, I have been in church my entire life and for most of my life I have absolutely refused to go front. Call it pride, rebellion, and fear but I wouldn't. It's only been in the past few years that I have willingly gone forward. Thursday night even if I had wanted to stay in my seat I don't think it would have been an option. I was prayed over and I'm surprised I was able to stand up because I've never felt the presence of the Spirit like that before.

This doesn't really fit with any of my plans, which is totally not a shocker since God's ways and my ways have never been similar. His timing has never been my timing. His ways are ALWAYS better than mine. It's taken me a long time to reach this place of being able to surrender but even from this place of surrender it's still overwhelming to think of accepting the call, although it's been accepted and there's no going back for me now.

The truth is I don't have to figure it out. In the same way that He has been leading all along I know that he has the details worked out for this part of my story as well. I don't know what it's going to look like or how He's going to open doors but I trust Him and I know that He is good, He is faithful and His word is truth and life.

Friday I left work at 12 and I was able to get a run in and my friend Margs came up and we went to dinner with my parents and it was awesome!

Saturday my friend Margs went with my Mom and our friend Carolyn to the school house Christmas craft fair. We had such a good time!

Saturday afternoon I took Jack for a walk and I was praying about the volunteer coordinator position that I'm in for the organization that I work with. We're in a growth season and I was praying about the best way to move forward. It came to me that we need to build a community so that's what I will be focusing on come January.

Sunday I had church and a baby shower and then my friend Chelsea came over to the house to hang out for a bit.

I originally started this post last week but life is so crazy busy at work that I'm going to have to write a different post for what's happened since I wrote this one.

The usual craziness of life

Last Saturday during the day I helped with a training class for the organization that I work with that works to fight human trafficking. I've accepted the volunteer coordinator role and I'm excited about it if a little daunted by the responsibility. The training lasted until 1 and I was able to squeeze in a manicure. I got the gel polish and so far it's still holding up. This is an experiment to see how long I can get it to last. Typical manicures last only an hour or 2 before they begin to chip. The gel polish is definitely more long lasting!

Last Saturday night I did a glow run. Here's the deal, if you're a runner, it's not really something you would be interested in. If you have kids and you are looking for something fun to do that gets everyone moving then this is totally something to look into! Initially I was irked at the $10 charge for parking. Once we get there and we were parking in a field I realized they were paying parking attendants and suddenly that $10 was totally worth it!!!

Sunday morning I went to the prayer service at 8. I love that opportunity so much! It's such a blessing to go before it gets crazy busy and worship and pray for what's coming. I was only able to go to the prayer service because my nephew was being baptized in High Point. I left church and met my parents for breakfast and then we made our way up to meet the rest of the family. I love when we can all be together!

After I left my brother and SIL's house I stopped by my friend Margaret's house. I have 2 Margarets and this is the Margaret who has 2 dogs and 5 cats. My other Margaret lives in SC and has 2 children and 1 dog. I love her new house it's truly fabulous!!!

This week I made an effort to get the workouts in! Monday night I attended a class at the gym called TCX, it was SO HARD I wanted to stop after 30 minutes. I think it's the hardest class I've ever done! I did finish it but it was crazy difficult!

Tuesday I got up early and ran 3 miles. I was having dinner with my friend Tiff so I knew I had to get the workout in early! I downloaded an app for my phone to start tracking my food again. I hate tracking food but it's really eye opening to understand where all the extra calories are coming from! I looked up the nutritional information for my favorite extra large DD coffee with cream and sugar, YIKES!!! I realized why I had gained weight instead of lost weight.

Wednesday I went to abs and booty class. I was so tired when I got home and I really didn't want to but I sucked it up and went anyways and of course  I was glad that I did!

Thursday I had a continuing education class for my agents license. I sat beside one of my previous agents. I got to meet the girl whose job I filled and in front of me sat my previous coworker from the Huntersville agency along with the lady who replaced me. The insurance world in Charlotte is very very small!

Thursday I had plans to pick up a friend of mine after I got off work and the place I was picking her up from changed a few times. Ultimately I get a message that hey can you be at such and such address? Well the address was one I knew well. I dated the guy who owns the house. It was odd pulling into the driveway! I met him December 18, 2004 at Thomas St Tavern. He was several years older and I fell head over heels like I usually did for the unavailable bad boys. He just had a birthday this past Sunday but I can't remember exactly how old he is now. I know he's a little older than my ex-husband although not by much. It was one of those odd experiences where in one day lots of my past and current collided! I picked my friend up and we were able to get a 3 mile walk completed. It is so gorgeous here this time of year!

Today I hope to get a run in with Jack. Tomorrow I have a class all day long and then I'm meeting my friend and former coworker for dinner. This time last year I was in Minneapolis eating LOTS of yummy food and exploring the city with Lisa. I had such a great time, I can't believe it's already been a year!!!

Conference and Wedding recap

When last I wrote I was preparing for the women’s conference and thinking about my dating life past. Funny enough that I’ve been on the road travelling more than usual and I keep seeing company trucks for the company that the 08 ex-boyfriend that my mom ran into works for, irony!

Thursday of last week I worked until 2 and drove home to change and pick up Jack to go run. Jack ran half a mile, and he was done although he did run the half mile back to the car. He will be 7 in December and I guess his heat tolerance is not what it used to be. The nice thing is I don’t have to worry about my dog overexerting himself because I made him run when it was too hot.

I drove him home and then finished another 2 miles from the house. It’s hard to run from my parent’s house because the road in front of the house is super busy, the speed limit is 45 and it take a few feet before you hit sidewalk and I know there are snakes. However sometimes for the sake of time I make it work and this was one of those times.

Thursday I had to be at church at 5:45 and due to traffic I arrived at 5:50. I was so aggravated! I got to sit in the very front center row on Thursday night and it was AMAZING!!! Alex Seeley spoke on Thursday night and Friday morning and she was fantastic!!!

This was Friday morning I was too far away to get a really good picture. 

Friday after lunch there were 2 different breakout sessions. After the last breakout session I drove to Marshalls and bought a different outfit. I had been wearing a really cute green dress that I scored at a consignment store but since I dropped some of my lunch on my dress a new outfit was necessary and I didn’t have time to drive all the way home.

I volunteered on the facilities team for this conference so that translated into emptying trash and making sure that the bathroom never ran out of toilet paper. I believe that toilet paper is important and I happily made sure that every stall had a full supply!

Priscilla Shrier my friend Tania got this awesome photo

Friday night Priscilla Shrier was the speaker and she was incredible! Both Alex and Priscilla were just incredibly beautiful and warm and lovely and powerful in the words that they shared! I am so thankful I was able to be a part of it all!!! Friday night I didn’t get home until after 10 and I had to be up early to get Jack’s stuff together. My friend Nicole let me drop him off at 6 Saturday morning. I drove home after dropping him off to shower and pack. 

My friend Patrice’s middle sister Alley, who was also my roommate for about 2 years, got married this past Sunday in Isle of Palms, SC. The historic SC flooding that happened the previous weekend fortunately did not affect Pepper Plantation, the venue where the wedding was held. I drove down in rain the entire way. I was a little concerned about road closures but fortunately the way I had to go there were no closures. I had been doing a Daniel Fast up until the conclusion of the conference and Saturday at 11:30 my fast ended.  I had to wait until 12 to actually stop for lunch. Then I stopped again about an hour later because I felt ice cream was a good idea. I arrived at the house where Patrice and her family were staying at around 2.

Her parents, sisters, aunts, uncles and cousins all stayed in a HUGE, gorgeous house on the Isle of Palms. They had a gorgeous view of the ocean, a pool, and it was just a perfect place for that many people! It was too rainy and cool to swim but I would imagine in the summer time that place is fabulous!!! My parents arrived and checked into our hotel room and then came over for dinner.

Sunday morning I went for a 4 mile run. The first 2 miles were amazing and easy. The next 1.5 miles was way more difficult because I didn’t realize that going out the wind had been behind me but coming back I was running directly against the wind. It was a beautiful morning and I love running when I can see the water!

I showered and grabbed breakfast with Mom and Dad and then we said bye to my Dad and went to the venue to help set up. It was a big team and we all managed to get Alley’s vision to come to life. Everything looked so beautiful!!! Alley had everything in boxes labeled what the box went to, example table 1, cake table, etc. with lists of exactly what was in the box, with pictures to show what her vision was. Mom and I left about 1:30. We took lunch to my Dad at the hotel and then I started getting ready.

The wedding was at 5 and we arrived at 4:30. I was on baby W duty since Patrice was in the wedding and Aaron was in charge of L, who was the MOST adorable ring bearer!!! Since I was on W duty I didn’t sit down. He talked the entire wedding ceremony so I stood in the back as far away as possible so that he didn’t distract from the main event. I stood by during pictures so that when they needed W I handed him over. Then once pictures were completed I handed W over to my mom so I could eat. They had pork and chicken bbq, coleslaw, mac and cheese (OH MY GOODNESS SO YUMMY!), marinated tomatoes and cucumbers and a variety of Carolina style sauces. The food reminded me so much of my brother and sister in laws wedding!

My cute "date"

Instead of wedding cake they did wedding donuts in the shape of an S which is their last name. The donuts were delicious. I was full and I still finished the donut because it was that good! I also had a little bit of the banana pudding, also delicious! However… I’m not going to lie, I missed having wedding cake. I know not everyone has an affinity for wedding cake. I know that I have had lots of friend do alternatives to wedding cake. I just really missed the icing! Patrice and I have this thing we’ve done since we were in middle school, I eat the icing and give her my cake and she eats the cake and gives me her icing. We did that at my wedding even.

First Dance

Patrice and L dancing during the Father/Daughter dance the song was James Taylor Carolina in my Mind, yes I teared up :)

Toast to the bride and groom

After the wedding Patrice’s parents held an after party at the beach house. My parents and I went over early in order to help get everything set out. We stayed at the house until almost midnight talking and laughing and hanging out.

Monday morning after breakfast I left to pick up Jack and then once I got home I did some chores and prepared for the rest of the week.

5 Minutes

Inevitably these days I find myself a tiny bit overbooked… I don’t mean to but it happens. Last week I had a work call Tuesday at 6pm so I didn’t leave until after 7. Wednesday night I had a hair appointment after work. Thursday night I met up with a friend for dinner. I feel bad because she probably feels like I blow her off all the time and I don’t, I’m just crazy busy!

Friday night I was supposed to go see War Room with Patrice, Amy and A. I went a few weeks ago with my Mom and I LOVED it! I definitely was looking forward to seeing it again. I got a message from Patrice that she had to cancel and then a little while later I talked to Amy and she needed to cancel. Earlier that day I had gotten a message from Amy about Saturday. She wanted to know if I was available to spend the day with A. This is the first time since I left my ex-husband that she has asked me about helping like this although I’ve told her multiple times I am ALWAYS happy to help. I was so excited!

With Friday night’s plans cancelled I relaxed on the couch and gave Jack Banner the attention I know he’s been missing because I’ve been MIA this month. I was in bed early because I knew I was going to be up early. I made it to the gym Saturday morning and knocked out 3 miles. It was raining crazy hard and as I was leaving both feet were fully submerged in water. Fortunately this was after my run!

I got ready and went and picked A up from her mom. She and I had a movie date to see War Room just the 2 of us. A had been wanting to see it and for her it was super cool to see people that we knew and places that she is very familiar with. Both church and school were filmed in the movie along with Birkdale which is super close to her house.

After the movie I took the little fashionista to H&M. I let her pick out an outfit and she also picked out 2 shirts. They have the cutest kids clothes that and they are not crazy expensive! She enjoys looking at everything! I drove through Chick Fil A for her lunch and we went back to the house so she and Jack could see each other. He had to catch her up on everything! He was so excited to see her! She watched Life in the Barbie dream house and then it was time to take her back to her Mom.

I dropped her off at the store where her mom works, and oohed and aahed over the fabulous jewelry and beads, I love that store so much!!! Then I hopped in my car to drive back to South Charlotte because I had gotten another phone call Friday from the nursery coordinator at the Charlotte church asking if there was any way I could help. I had planned to actually attend the Saturday night service but I knew that the nursery coordinator really needed my help. Tiff was ok with it so I helped out with the toddlers on Saturday night. It was crazy busy and I was so tired by the time it was over! I met Tiff for dinner afterwards to catch up with her.

Sunday (yesterday) I had the 8 prayer service, I had 9 nursery and then the 11 service and then I met with my small group girls for lunch. I had 4 babies in nursery by myself. They did bring in an 8 year old to help me and as much as an 8 year old boy can be helpful he was and I was truly thankful for the extra set of hands! All 4 of the babies did so great so it worked out, it’s just a lot to have 4 without another adult!

After lunch I went home and fell asleep! It’s crazy how exhausting nursery is!

I did get some chores done and I gave Jack more quality attention. I’m so thankful I live with my parents and I know that Jack never lacks for love! It’s been awesome living with them!

This week is full but I have tried to keep it from being overbooked! I just want to make sure that I don’t feel exhausted going into the weekend. I have Patrice’s sister’s wedding to go to this weekend and I am so excited!

5 Minutes

I tried on my formal dress last night to make sure the shoes I thought would work actually worked, they do. I about had a moment though. I’m not sure what was going on but my mom was struggling to get the dress zipped. I haven’t gained any weight (haven’t lost any either) so I don’t know why it was such a challenge last night. Regardless, it still fits, the shoes work, and in a week and 2 days I’ll be boarding the plane for FL!

Last week wasn’t as crazy busy and even the weekend which was decidedly over booked at the beginning of the week definitely eased up by the end of the week. I had a 10K Saturday morning. I pushed super hard to the point where the final half mile of the race I couldn’t run the last hill. The entire course is fairly “hilly” and the final mile has an uphill portion that I forget about until the moment I’m facing it and hating life and wondering why I keep doing this to myself!

I was supposed to go down to one of the farms to go shooting with a friend of mine but it had been so rainy we postponed that. I was supposed to take my friend Nicole out to dinner but she was sick so that got cancelled. I rarely go see movies but War Room was on a short list of movies I really really wanted to see! I asked my Mom if she wanted to go with me and we had a movie date on Saturday afternoon.

Sunday I went to the 8 prayer service, the 9 service and I had the 1 year old nursery during the 11. We had 8 babies, it was a little crazy at times! We had 2 of the older girls from the kid church (they were 11 or 12 I’m guessing) come in to help us. OK so I’ve been in nursery since I was at least 11 and keeping nursery on my own since I was 12. I was shocked (and panicked honestly) when one of the girls picked up a toddler underneath her rear end. I said please support her back she could easily fall backwards. These 2 just really didn’t seem to be able to understand how to help or what was needed and I was surprised. Next time I know of a young lady who is really good and I’ll be requesting that they go bring her back.

After nursery I met one of my small group girls for lunch to catch up with her. Then after I dropped her off at home I went home and fell asleep. Nursery is exhausting!!!

Last night I got to have dinner with the lady who was filling in at my previous company while they were looking to replace the operations director position. I always liked her and once I handed in my notice I was like now we can finally go to dinner. It was awesome to catch up with her! She and I are the same age. I’m not sure how often she’ll be back to NC since they found a replacement but I’m glad we got to have dinner last night!

This week I’m so excited! Thursday night Margs comes to town and Friday morning we are driving to the beach. My freshman year of college there were 2 girls who lived beside me. We’ve all stayed in touch but it’s been a really long time since we’ve seen each other. So this weekend we are having a reunion at the beach! I found an awesome deal through Airbnb and booked the place several months ago. It’s finally here!

I know I said I wasn’t going to do the online dating thing, and I wholeheartedly meant it. I’m not going to lie I’ve contemplated it several times over recently. The truth is for the next 8 weeks my life is way too crazy and insanely busy to try and add anything else to the mix. I also recognize and understand that I’ve only been officially divorced since April. I’ve had dates that have been fun and awesome and have made me realize that I don’t want to rule out dating but the flip-side of this is I’m really and truly happy right where I am.

I think I’ll give myself a lot more time to just enjoy where I am. Once I’ve passed the year anniversary of my divorce if I’m not already dating someone and haven’t dated anyone for a while I might have to reconsider my no online dating stance…. We’ll see. I know I have to be careful about trying to force my own solutions and my time line. I think I’ve realized that I need to stop making these kinds of “rules or decisions” for myself and allow for flexibility and re-considerations.

work, working out, travel

I have the time to sit down and write and I have 3 posts circulating in my head. One post for all my thoughts would be way too much!

The Friday after I wrote I picked up my friend Chelsea on Friday afternoon. I met her through my friend Paula. Chelsea was flying in to NC this past spring to go to the Downtown Abbey thing at The Biltmore. Paula couldn't pick her up so I agreed to meet her and take her to dinner until Paula could get there.

Chels is amazing and of course I fell in love with her and we had a fantastic time at dinner. Her visit to NC was just what she needed and when she returned back to college (she was here during spring break) she applied to UNC Charlotte and was accepted. She moved to campus in August and has started her junior year there.

I wanted her to see Southpark area because I love it and when you are in University area it's easy to stay there and never venture out and that's not what I wanted for her. So I gave her several different options and she picked one and I picked her up and we hung out and caught up with each other.

I love that I'm able to pick her up, take her to dinner, hang out, and it not be a major battle because my spouse is a huge jerk about it. When my friend Lisa lived in Charlotte I didn't see her nearly as often as I would have liked because I was married to someone who made life ridiculously difficult! Ugh!

Saturday morning I went to Bikini Bootcamp and then went home and got ready and Mom and I went to High Point to see the boys. They are just so precious and they change so fast and it was awesome to spend a few hours with them!

Saturday evening we met with friends at Captain Steve's, sometimes there is just no better place to be on a Saturday then Captain Steve's!

Sunday I had the 8 prayer service, 9 service, 11 nursery. I was in the 1 year old room with my friend Nancy and I loved catching up with her! I love that my church is so home to me that I can walk in and see all these people that I know and yet I'm still good with the fact that I sit alone during the service most of the time.

After church I ran home for a few minutes to take Jack out. Then I had a party with the organization I volunteer with. After the party I met an old friend of mine for dinner. She's another friend who I have known since church nursery days. She and I haven't stayed in contact over the years like Patrice and I have but we've reconnected over the past few years and she's a friend who I really love so much and I love what her story is, she's another example of God absolutely making something so broken into a completely new beautiful story.

Last week at work I felt more acclimated. I think I'm starting to understand more. I'm definitely excited about what we do! I think I pretty much have the coolest job ever now and I'm thrilled!

Monday night I met my friend at the gym for a run. Tuesday morning I got up early and went to the gym to do strength training. Wednesday morning I was going to get up to go run but I hurt and I didn't feel up to it. So instead I slept in and I took Jack for a walk that evening.

Thursday morning I did get up and go to the gym for a run. Then Thursday evening that allowed me to pack, mostly. I was leaving to visit my friend Jess on Friday morning.

After my oil change I hit the highway and made my way for a weekend visit.

5 minutes

Last Monday I started my new job. I am so excited for this new opportunity! The first week was very smooth and interesting and I know I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be!

I was able to get a 4 mile run in on Monday night. Tuesday I went to a strength training class. Wednesday morning I got up early and got a 3 mile run in at the gym. Wednesday evening I went to abs and booty class. Thursday morning I woke up and thought it might not have been the best idea to do two strength training classes back to back the week of a 10K...

Thursday night I had a date. We went to dinner and went bowling and I haven't laughed that much in ages! We played 3 games and I lost pitifully the first 2 but I won the 3rd! It was such a good time! After we finished bowling we went and got coffee and sat outside and talked for a long time!

Friday morning I got up early and cleaned my bathroom and vacuumed and then headed to Boone for the day. I visited with Donna at the store. I found a gorgeous ballgown for my upcoming Florida trip. I had lunch and then said goodbye.

Friday night we had friends over to the house and ate burrito casserole and played mexican train. It was such a fun night!

Saturday morning I had a 10K race and it was crazy hilly! I enjoyed the route, it's always fun to run familiar streets! I purposely didn't plan anything for Saturday day. I just wanted to relax and rest! I did clean my parent's bathroom. Before the race I took Jack over to my friend Nicole's house to spend the day. I'm going to a wedding in October and I had to find someone who could keep him because my parents are going to the same wedding.

I picked Nicole up at 6 and we went out for girl's night. My friends Amy and Anita joined us and we had an absolute blast!!! We stayed out way too late but it was totally worth it!!! I dropped Nicole off and picked Jack up and we headed home.

This morning I had the prayer service at 8, church at 9 and nursery at 11. We had 3 babies and I had the best time!!! I love nursery so much!!! I came home and watched Dirty Dancing. Last week we opted out of the movie since it was so far to drive, and I really wanted to just talk to my friends. I'm glad I watched it today though, it was fun to recognize the places in the movie!

This week I have to attend a conference for work which means late nights both Monday and Tuesday. I'm hoping to get up and get a gym visit in before I have to be at work. We'll see how it goes.

Meetings, Calendar, Busy, Busy, Acceptance

The month is rapidly moving towards it's end. The Friday after the date that didn't happen I had the most amazing day! God totally moved the details so that I was able to have meetings with the organization that I'm working with that is involved in working with women who have been trafficked and the director of the Hope Center at my church and then after that meeting we had a meeting with an amazing place that among other programs offers equine therapy.

The day was just so full of God's details that I think we were all blown away! It was incredible to talk and connect people and events and hear what God is doing and think, wow! To know that He is so good and faithful and able and to be reminded to never ever put Him in a box!

After the meetings I drove home and threw clothes in a bag and drove to High Point to spend time with my brother, SIL and nephew. They are now expecting my newest nephew to arrive any day now. My SIL had requested that I come up for one last visit before the new baby and of course I wasn't going to miss out on the opportunity!

We had a really good time! My SIL and I stayed up way too late watching Say Yes to the Dress. I still love all things wedding! I don't ever have to have a wedding but I do love all the details and planning for other people!

Saturday my brother and I took my nephew to Chick Fil A and then the park. Little H is outside every chance he gets! I left around 2 to head home and get ready for dinner with my friend Karen. It's hard to believe that we've now been friends for 11 years. We met at Peculiar Rabbit in Plaza Midwood area.

I used to frequent the neighborhood and I never had trouble finding parking. We were meeting for dinner at 6 and there was no parking to be had. I paid for a spot in order to avoid a ticket, being booted or towed. I figure $5 is a small price to pay. Sometimes living in a city that is so rapidly growing has those moments when I just shake my head. Progress is all well and good but it comes with aggravations as well. Especially when you have to drive everywhere and deal with traffic and parking.

We had an amazing dinner! I had not been there and I really enjoyed the shrimp tacos, they were an appetizer but as an entree it worked perfectly too!

That Sunday after church I met my friend Tiff for lunch. We hadn't caught up with each other in several weeks so it was awesome to see her! I feel beyond blessed to have friendships that have lasted for such a long time!

I fit a workout in before going home and getting ready for Patrice's Dad's surprise retirement party. I had THE BEST time at the party! It's always fun to get to catch up with people at a party like this. Patrice and I have literally grown up with each other since church nursery so many of the people who have watched us grow up were there. She and I shared a plate since we are both doing the no sweets and I'm doing the no white bread (she doesn't eat white bread regardless). We had plenty to eat and I even fed L his piece of cake.

This month schedule wise has been full! Monday night I did my volunteering, including a run where we got caught in the pouring down rain and had to be rescued. It's one of those awesome summer night memories and it was an adventure!

Right before we went for the run I had 2 missed calls a VM and a text message from D. There was a family emergency and he was requesting prayer. I did text his parents to express that I was praying. The truth is he does not need to be contacting me when there are emergencies. I understand that perhaps he wanted me to know, and I understand that prayer was needed, but what he fails to realize and understand is that I do not want him in my life in any way shape or form. I pray for him as regards his daughter. I have thought about it since last week and the truth of the matter is because of the way that he operated during our entire separation and divorce I learned more about him than in the entirety of our marriage. God rescued me and brought me out and protected me and has healed me from the wounds. When D contacts me I have to work to let it go, give it to God, and remember that I have been set free and I choose to continue to walk in the freedom that I've been given.

Tuesday I went to a class called life barre, toning and conditioning I like circuit better but since I had just gone to the chiropractor I need a class that was less impact.

Wednesday I had my Bible class at church. The class has been interesting and I'm thankful that I'm taking it but I seem to find myself doing the homework in lump reading rather than daily.

Thursday I had my 2nd chiropractor appointment of the week. It worked out that he had an availability for Thursday. Tuesday night we worked on my low back, Thursday we worked on the fact that my arm was going numb. My job definitely lends itself to way too much sitting and I have to be more intentional about getting up and moving around and stretching.After my appointment I went to the women's event at church.

The event was so awesome! I know that I am so blessed by the women's ministry at church!

Last Friday July 17 marked one year free from bulimia. That was such a huge, enormous milestone for me! I never believed that I would truly be set free and yet God totally and completely broke that hold. Yes I've had to choose to continue to walk in my freedom but He absolutely gave me the freedom!

Friday after work I drove down to SC. I hadn't seen my friend Margs and her family since February and it was a long overdue visit! She and I went for a walk Friday night that was awesome! Saturday morning I was up early and knocked out a 6 mile run on the trail in her neighborhood. Then we spent time at the pool. Her neighborhood has a front pool and a back pool. We went to the back pool and we had the whole area to ourselves for at least an hour and a half, it was fantastic!

We went to lunch and then I headed back to Charlotte. While I was driving home my other Margaret contacted me. She and her boyfriend made an impromptu drive to Charlotte to visit Ikea so we made dinner plans. We went to an old favorite of mine, Alexander Michaels. The food there is so amazing! Their friend Anita met us and she was awesome! It was such a fun evening!

Sunday morning I went to the 8 prayer service, I had nursery during the 9 service in the 2 year old room and then I went to the 11 service. Staying awake was a little bit challenging up until the object lesson that the pastor did. It was effective and it also woke me up, fortunately!

The rest of my Sunday I relaxed at home. I needed it! I have been so much on the go!

Last night I did my volunteering and then my friend gave me an interval routine that we did on the treadmills at her gym. Kicked my booty! I loved it!

I got home from work today and fell asleep. I didn't make it to the gym and I'm not going to beat myself up about it.

I've not heard from the guy I was supposed to have had the date with. I loved how the story unfolded and I was truly excited to go have coffee and dinner and talk further. Perhaps he will contact me but I am honestly not holding my breath. I just don't think it's going to happen.

When situations like last week with D come up and leave me unsettled, when the guy never contacts me again like what happened this past spring, when the date falls through and the plans change, these are the times when I struggle a little bit. I question my choices. I question if I can really handle the statement if God doesn't bring anyone into my life can I really accept it. The answer is yes I can. This is not because I'm awesome and strong and I don't need anyone. The reason that I can is because whatever path God has for me He has given me everything I need to walk that path and that calling. I choose to say yes to whatever He has for me, however it might look.

I'm watching the world around me and what's happening and I'm aware like never before that there are events happening that I never believed I would see in my lifetime. I had a friend post recently about how she's reading in the Old Testament and how there is nothing new that is happening now that hasn't happened before and we are called to be God hands and feet to those around us.

I fully and completely agree that I am called to be God's hands and feet to those around me! I also understand that prophecy has been and is being fulfilled. I recognize a physical pain in my heart over my friends and family who are not walking with the Lord. I've cried tears for those who blatantly deny God. Jesus died so that we would never have to be separated from the great love of the Father. There is no greater love then the cross. So knowing that people are outright rejecting this hope and promise of life is causing me to hurt.

I've talked to my coworker friend and shared the hurting. I recognize that nothing I say will change it. But by living my life holy and set apart, not because I'm awesome but because I recognize much God has done for me, and by sharing about what God is doing in every aspect of my life, my true hope is that I will be able to be the light, and reflect Jesus to all those who I come in contact with.

The world is spiraling faster and faster into the chaos and disorder and I know that this is only the beginning. I also know that Jesus came and gave His life so that everyone can have the gift of salvation. So as someone who is trying to learn to be more Christlike my hope is that others will be drawn to Him because of the Him they see in me!

The rest of this week is typically busy! Unfortunately it won't be busy with workouts since I have something going on every night for the rest of the week but again I refuse to feel guilty for not going to the gym tonight! I needed the nap! I needed the time to sort my thoughts!

Life is a blur

Last week was a blur! I had Thursday off for taxes but because of my work load I only took 3.25 of the planned 8 hours of pto. I'm kind of not as far behind, but not really. There is always something!

I was at the tax place early Thursday to avoid having to wait. They don't take appointments so I've learned to get there right when the doors open. I went home took a nap and then went for a long run. The weather app said it was going to be completely clear with no chance of rain. It was wrong. I was 5 miles in and I see raindrops and then it started raining. It wasn't a complete downpour so I sucked it up and finished the 5 more miles.

Friday I was back at work. That night I went to my meeting. Saturday I went to Abs and Booty at Sassy Girl. I found my itunes music and got it loaded on my phone. I had an epiphany of sorts on Saturday. If I ever decide to date again the guy will have to like country music and let Jack sleep in the bed.

Saturday evening I had the opportunity to catch up with an old friend of mine. You know you're old friends when you sit down and talk to each other and it's like no time has passed at all. Originally Patrice was supposed to be there too but L passed along his stomach ick to her so she decided to stay in and not share.

Yesterday I had a 4 miler. I PR'd it. My time was 36:08 and my pace was 9:03. I sat for a long time researching my previous 4 miler results to make sure it was a PR. My friend Nicole keeps a spreadsheet which is a great idea but I'm just not that detail oriented… so instead I sit and research race results back to 2009…

I have gift cards to several stores and I have yet to use any of them. This is totally not the norm for me. I've been so slammed at work that I'm not taking hour lunches. I have been so busy outside of work that I haven't made the time to go to any of the stores.

I figured out how to get my iphone pics transferred to the PC. I was so proud of myself for figuring that out! I'm definitely going to have to post the pictures from the National Botanical Gardens!

This week is set to be another busy one and I'm thankful. I'm ready for the chapter to close!

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalm 40:1-2

5 Minutes Friday

Yesterday I posted that the countdown is on. I'm trying very hard to keep myself in check. I vacillate between being absolutely 1000% ready and then this odd part of me that is sad. I think this is likely normal. I also have to work harder now not to hate D than anytime in the previous 11 months or 3 years.

I decided to do an actual countdown because scripture research calms me. I found verses that all had to do with waiting and hope. I spent time over these past few years waiting, hoping, believing and knowing that God was in control. The ultimate ending to this story of my marriage was not at all what I expected and yet I clearly see how God moved all the details and worked all the pieces into place.

Regardless of how my marriage has ended it still hurts my heart when I hear of other marriages ending. I know that there are situations of abuse, and infidelity and those are not usually situations that can be repaired unless both parties are absolutely surrendered to God and to the process. On the day that was the 1 year anniversary of the catalyst night in which I knew I had to make a decision I fasted and prayed until 2pm for marriages. I think that marriage can be an amazing opportunity for friendship, love and being a lifetime team. I see examples of this. I also see examples of marriages that don't fit this example and it hurts knowing that I have friends hurting.

I anticipate the day that I will file for divorce more than I did my wedding. I didn't have a countdown. I didn't really do much in the planning. I've planned, I've created a countdown, I am more ready to file for divorce than I was to get married. I can't say I would change any of the past few years. Yes I am ready for the day that I will file but there was a long period of time during this past year when I think I subconsciously was waiting for D to show true change. Perhaps I didn't even realize that I was looking for this. He repeatedly proved, in every situation, that he had not changed. From the day that I left until the final text message that I sent when I told him that if he contacted me again I would send his girlfriend every text message he had sent me since October. That final message seems to be what it took. I've not heard from him since then. I did send a follow up email in which I told him if he moves he needs to contact me and tell me and I won't send his girlfriend the messages he's sent me.

He still believes that he is the victim. He believes that he has been wronged. There is an article that I posted on FB titled 12 traits of an abusive relationship. D met all 12. In fact it was downright uncanny the way he absolutely exemplified those traits. I resisted the urge to use the hashtag #hindsight2020. I sent his first wife a message about the article and she read it, and she shared it, and she used the hashtag #hindsigh2020. Even knowing and understanding that what I lived through was abuse there are times when I've had to struggle with the fact that I had to leave. My mind seems to forget and perhaps this is part of the healing but it's important that I remember the why so I can continue to move foward and not get stuck in a halfway place of being ok but not.

This week has been busy! Digging out from piles at work is a process. There were revival services at the Concord church Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night. Wednesday night I went to Abs and Booty class. I'm still sore today!!! Last night it was so cold I didn't make it back out to the gym but when I leave work today I'm headed directly there.

Tomorrow I'll be going to Boone with Tiff and back in time for nursery at 5:30.

Audra celebrated her 6th birthday Wednesday. A year ago today I was cleaning up from her big princess party. Life moves on. God is good! This is a new chapter and I'm excited to fill the pages!

Wrapping up 2014

Sunday 12/28 I ran the Belk Bowl 5K. I was happy with my official time, but it was not a PR. My runkeeper app said my pace was 8:36, I have got to get a watch. Runkeeper is not accurate. I was talking to my friend Erin and she said she has a new balance watch that she loves. I need a watch that accurately records my pace and distance. Since I am a little technologically slow the garmin might not be the first watch I need to purchase. The timex that my brother and SIL got me does not record the miles just my time.

Monday is a night I will probably never forget. I mentioned that D's first wife had reached out to me via FB. Her message was put into my other folder and so it sat from July to November without me ever seeing it. Finally I was home one day in November and checking FB from the computer and I saw it. I wrote her back and said that I had prayed for her so many times because I can't imagine what she lived through and that I would love to hear her story. She offered to meet me.

Originally we were supposed to meet the Saturday after thanksgiving but that had to be postponed. Then there was another evening we were going to meet and that had to be postponed again. Monday I texted that morning to make sure that we were still on and she said yes. It's a little odd to meet up with someone who you have never met and feel like you know so much about them. I walked in and she had just arrived. She is very pretty. We sat and talked for 3 hours. I told her more than once how much I appreciated her meeting me and talking to me.

I discovered we are just as much alike as I always suspected. I learned a lot and realized that the patterns that I recognized had been going on for so much longer than my marriage. I love her. In fact I've had to restrain myself from going crazy girl and texting and tagging on FB because I don't want to be scary. I'm just so thankful to have met her.

Tuesday night I got to catch up with Jess. I love when it works out for us to catch up and I thoroughly enjoyed dinner and coffee! She totally got me hooked on the Praline latte at Starbucks and I'm going to be sad when it goes away!

Wednesday I had the day off work. I started the day with a run. Jack and I did 4 miles. I had an appointment with the counselor at the Concord church. I had reached out the week of Christmas because I was just so angry at D. Not because he had moved on but because he was still sending me messages of love while planning a future with his new girlfriend.

The counselor had emailed me back Tuesday and asked if I wanted to come in and I made an appointment to go see her Wednesday. She and I talked about everything that had been going on and that was helpful! I told her about meeting the first wife and how special that was and how much it helped me. Then I told her that I know from my past relationships that I have tried to make better and be helpful and I think I've been misdirecting that and my desire to make a difference is not a bad thing I think there is a bigger picture perspective to it.

I've been reading a book called Made in the USA about human sex trafficing. It's APPALLING! It's so difficult for me to read that I'm not yet finished and I know that bringing awareness to what is going on is critical!

I told the counselor about the book and we began talking. There is a lady in the Concord church who has an organization that works to rescue these victims. The counselor asked if I would like to meet her and for us all to have lunch so I can find out more of what I can do. I jumped all over that!!! I am so excited, nervous and scared, but SO excited!!! With my years in Al-anon I have the ability to really understand and know how to help without enabling, how to detach with love, how to have boundaries but still be loving. I can't wait to see what 2015 holds for me as I begin to explore this journey that the Lord is starting to lead me on!

After my meeting with the counselor I met Patrice for lunch. Then I drove home to help my mom vacuum and get the house ready for her party. Then I went down to Tiffany's house where I rang in 2015 with her and K.

We had such a blast! Tiff made dinner and then each hour she had a different activity for K. We played princess monopoly, we had a glow stick dance party, we played Minion Life, and we celebrated the new year in an unforgettable way! Up until last night my favorite NYE had always been 2007 ringing in 2008 with Josh. That had been such a fun and easy night. Last night now takes the place as my favorite NYE!

Today I went to the gym to start the new year right! Mom is making collards, black eyed peas and pork. We'll have our New Years day meal and then tomorrow I go back to work.

I'm so excited for what 2015 holds! I think it's going to look very different than anything I ever anticipated or expected but God is definitely moving and I trust His timing and His plan!

2014

2014 was the year that came in on the heels of a catalyst for a big decision.

I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that things could not continue the way that they had been going.

2014 started and I was asleep, I went to bed at 9pm on NYE because I was safer asleep where there would be no chance for an alcoholic spiral if I was not in the room.

I enjoyed pork and black eyed peas and collard greens with my family. Daron had a stomach bug or something. I didn't mind that he was not there it was always easier on my family if it was just me. That was the night I told my Mom I was praying about leaving and thinking about talking to a lawyer.

I wrote about how my Mom didn't want to hear anything positive about Daron in a post that I wrote in Spring 2012. Looking back I realize that it's easier to see the lack of change in someone when you are not married to them and trying to make the marriage work.

Audra's 5th birthday party was a huge success. I started planning in October and when the party arrived she was such a great hostess. She included all her friends and made everyone feel so special. All the details that went into making that happen were worth it. The feeling of finality when I closed the doors to the party room was undeniable. I could now leave and this was my final memory with the girl as her stepmom.

I met with the lawyer and talked to her about my marriage and why I felt it necessary to leave. We put together a separation agreement.

February 4, 2014 I left for good. I had left, said I was leaving, returned, and repeated a pattern believing that he would follow through on the promises to do better. It was never about whether or not he loved me. He did the best he could with what he had and when he was not drinking we made a good team. The reality of our life together was that he drank more often than he wasn't and when he drank he had a tendency to be verbally abusive to the point where I would leave because I feared for my physical safety.

The week after I left I met with my friend Lisa for dinner to celebrate her birthday. Then the next day the snow came. My office closed early and was closed the following day. I stayed with my college roommate and her daughter and we had a blast!

I was supposed to drive to High Point that Friday but I postponed the trip to Saturday.

February 27 I had a meeting with the ladies pastor and counselor at the Concord church and I reluctantly agreed to a joint counseling session.

The joint counseling session was after I provided the pastor and counselor with all the information regarding the past years of my marriage. When Daron was asked to explain his side he didn't have any answers just kept talking about how he was changed and that he had been hard to live with.

We left that meeting with the agreement that I would have another one on one session with the counselor and then a joint meeting with him to establish parameters. He didn't listen to the L would set the parameters part and went home and sent me an email suggesting to me what the parameters should be.

I forwarded his suggestions to the pastor and counselor.

Reluctantly I kept my meeting to establish parameters.

2 weeks later he and I had our joint session to discuss those parameters.

When he wasn't trying to tell me how he had changed and that everything was different he was arguing with the counselor about the parameters. Instead of listening and being willing to do whatever it would take he was trying to make us see that he was "right" and we were "wrong".

He reluctantly agreed to the parameters, 90 AA meetings in 90 days and one text message of love or commitment to me a day.

He completed the 90/90. The one text message of love or commitment, that part, he didn't seem to grasp.

 I got messages that may have seemed loving to him but truthfully they were not "loving" at all. Then he started "saving up" his messages trying to make them more dramatic. The final straw for me came the day that he told me he was working on his resentment towards me and it was holding him back on his step-work.

I told him that we were done and I was ending the process of joint counseling.

Shortly after that I met the woman who he was talking to at church.

He got called to the carpet on that relationship when he went in for pastoral counseling.

Meanwhile I'll back up since I just jumped through February and March and they were mostly about him.

March was a full month. I ran the shamrock 4miler race with Lisa and Nicole. Uncle Roger and Aunt Linda came to visit and we had a wonderful time! My friend Margs officially moved back from Canada with her family and I was so thrilled to welcome them home! Mom and I went to Beaufort, SC to celebrate her 60th birthday with my Aunt.  

In April I ran a 10K through the Southpark area and the CPCC skyline race which is one of my favorites to run! I celebrated Easter with my family and helped Tiffany's little girl celebrate her 7th birthday at a fabulous Frozen themed birthday party.

May I ran a 10K in High Point and visited Dr. Margaret in Durham. She and I attended a Derby party where she won the prize for best hat. I took and passed my CIC Life and Health class leaving me one more test to pass before I obtain my CIC designation. I said goodbye to Lisa on Cinco de Mayo. May was also the month when D sent me the message about working on his resentment towards me and I ended the process of joint counseling.

June started with a 5K and lunch with CF&G's family. Just because he and I broke up doesn't mean I gave up his family. We celebrated my Dad's birthday with a party and then Father's Day with my brother, SIL and nephew. Mom and Dad flew out to TX and I was left with the house to myself.

I had the odd experience of meeting a woman that D had been talking to when I went to an Awakened night. She took it upon herself to tell D anything and everything that I said in response to her questions. I ran the King Tiger 5K and D showed up on the course and completely threw me off my breathing and what started as a strong race finished as not memorable other than D showing up. That night I went to the Faith Family and Freedom concert with Tiffany and her daughter.

I blocked that woman from my FB and let the pastor and counselor at the Concord church know what had happened. I thought I was going to have to back off from even attending women's events at the church. Fortunately it was also in June that Patrice and her family moved to NC from FL and suddenly all of my closest girlfriends were back within driving distance of me.

Patrice attended the women's events with me and she and her husband started attending the Concord church. June ended with a trip to GA to visit my friend Vada at her new townhouse.

July brought the 4th and celebrating with my Mom and my Aunt down at the lake house. I ran a 5K the 19th and then went down to the lake house to spend time with my brother, SIL and nephew. Uncle Roger and Aunt Linda came for another visit. The following weekend I ran another 5K and it was hot and humid! July was the month I found out that D decided to leave the Concord church and I was going to be able to return.

August 9 I ran a race and I thought it was a PR but it turned out the course was a little short so it just ended up being a good run. I celebrated my birthday with good friends and enjoyed having a few days off from work. The month ended and September started with a trip to GA to visit my friend Susan and her family.

September was the month of the women's conference at the Concord church. I am so thankful I was able to attend it was such a powerful time of worship and spending time listening to what God had to say. I had the Hit the Brixx 10K which was miserable and I did horribly! I also ran the Lung Strong 5K. I drove up to Monroeville, PA to visit Uncle Roger and Aunt Linda and my Godsister and her family. It was a really great weekend and I loved having the one on one time with all of them.

October I ran a 5miler with my friend Nicole, I did much better time wise for that race than the previous months 10K. I challenged myself to a 21 day fitness challenge and I actually succeeded in working out and fitting in to my costume for the costume party. I was supposed to run a 5K but I decided to forgo that race since Uncle Roger and Aunt Linda came to town the weekend I was supposed to run it. I went to Boone with my brother, SIL and nephew. We went to Macadoos for lunch and my nephew found out about the amazing Macadoos cinnamon rolls!

The following weekend I flew to Minneapolis, MN to visit my friend Lisa. She was such an amazing hostess! We went to the waterfalls, we walked around, we ate a delicious lunch, we relaxed! We went for a gorgeous run, ate at a fabulous diner/dive Cuban place, went to Mass, went to dinner at another fabulous little hole in the wall. She took me to my first yoga class ever and then I got to meet her running club and I ate the best pizza I've ever had! I totally ate 4 slices of pizza that night, yet the costume still fit!

I found out that weekend about D's girlfriend and I'm thankful that when I found out I had the time I needed to process it before having to go back to work. I remember being on the plane and I realized I had tears rolling down my cheeks. I didn't expect that confirmation of a girlfriend to hurt me as much as it did.

Then D tried to tell me that he still loved me and I just needed to give him a chance. So in true fashion I was just as mad at him all over again as I was hurt. I learned an important lesson, one that should have been common sense and maybe I knew this all along but this has reinforced it. When someone has a girlfriend it makes any claims of love for you null and void.

November I drove down to SC to help Marg's oldest celebrate his birthday. That night went to the costume party at my friend Christi's house. I had a really good time and it was fun to not have to worry about staying too long or not being able to go out at all. I did switch my plan for my costume and even though the one I planned to wear fit, I went with a different look.

 I created a memory with Tiffany and her daughter and Amy and Audra. I drove up Friday to spend the night with my brother , SIL and nephew and then Saturday I went to lunch with them. After lunch I headed over to the hotel to check in and wait for the girls. We went to the Casting Crowns, Sidewalk Prophets, Mandisa concert and it was amazing! We had such a good time!

The next weekend I went to a crafts fair with my mom that was huge! The weekend before Thanksgiving I drove up to VA and spent time with my friend Jess and her family. She took me into DC and we visited the DAR museum and period rooms and met my cousin Cameron for dinner. The next day we went back into DC and visited the botanical gardens.

Thanksgiving I PR'd my 10K, totally unexpected! I enjoyed the day with my family! I enjoyed that weekend of being able to relax and not "having" to do anything although I got a lot done! I did keep nursery that Saturday after Thanksgiving and unfortunately one of the little girls shared her germs. The week after Thanksgiving I was miserable!

I went for a run on Monday and that was my last workout until Saturday. I missed another race but I did go to the gym and I ran a treadmill 5K. I worked out on Sunday too, trying to get my groove back. I realized after my 21 day fitness challenge that I liked how I felt and I wanted to continue feeling good about myself.

I drove down to SC to give Margaret's boys their Christmas presents and we went to lunch. Then the next day I went over to Patrice's house and did a cookie back with Liam. I was also successful in my first attempt at my Mom's cinnamon rolls. I took my first batch to the Concord church for the staff.

I celebrated Christmas with my small group on December 16. I attended the Awakened Christmas event Shine on December 18. I helped my Mom get the house ready for Christmas on the 20th. I worked on the Monday before Christmas and then I had Tuesday through Thursday off.

I dropped off cinnamon rolls to Amy and the kids and her parents. I visited for a few moments and talked about the fact that it's truly over with D. I talked about how I resent being made the other woman when he's still married to me.

I left their house and went to Patrice's house. I made one last delivery to my friend Nicole and then headed home.

My brother and SIL came to town in time for dinner with my nephew. We enjoyed dinner and then I had to finish wrapping presents.

Christmas Eve was low key. The house was ready; most of the food was already prepped. I went to the gym for a workout. My mom's siblings and families were all there on Christmas Eve night and we opened presents. It was so nice spending time with my family and enjoying everyone!

Christmas morning we opened the presents from each other. I received lots of bath and body works which I am excited about! I loved being able to watch my nephew open his presents! After opening presents and breakfast I drove to the greenway for a run. I'm training for a March half marathon.

Daron texted me a merry Christmas, my response was that if he contacts me again I will send Jaime every message he has sent me since October including the why it's over email. Then I checked Jaime's FB page and he left a comment on her picture of her and her daughter that it was a lovely family picture but that someone seemed to be missing. I took a screen shot. Then I sent that screen shot to him and said that the comment he left on Jaime's picture is lovely. I'm happy that he's moved on and that very seriously if he contacts me further I will send her everything.

I don't know if he is just that stupid, to think I can't see that kind of stuff or what but I definitely had some very angry emotions. Not because I care that he has a girlfriend, I really don't. I think I'm furious because he was the one vomiting all over FB about how he had been wronged and how I had left and how he was so broken and how he is so changed. I knew when I left he would have a girlfriend and likely be engaged before our divorce was final. So dealing with the shock of how much it hurt when I found out about the girlfriend was surprising.

I despise him! When I left I was so relieved. Then he wanted to show me he had changed, and maybe a part of me believed that he had but I needed to see the proof. Then he started dating again. I gave him no reason not to move on. I understand this very clearly. I could have dealt with the moving on, what has made me absolutely furious is that he has repeatedly reached out with text messages of love and second chances while clearly making promises to his girlfriend of a future together. I'm not sure if I'm also maybe angry at myself for ever marrying him. I realize that I would not be where I am now if not for these past few years, and I appreciate very much where I am now. I just resent the fact that for me to get here I married such a POS.

This year is coming to a close and in just a few short weeks I will file for divorce and the chapter of my failed marriage will be closed. As 2014 is ending I am thankful. This year was one of hard decisions that had me evaluating everything that I believed. “I sought the Lord and He answered me and delivered me from all my fears” Psalm 34:4.

I’m thankful for the love and support of my family and friends as I navigated this year and the heart break and hurt. “The wise in heart accept commands, but a chattering fool comes to ruin.” Proverbs 10:8 “The way of fools seems right to them, but the wise listen to advice.” Proverbs 12:15 “The wise fear the Lord and shun evil, but a fool is hotheaded and yet feels secure” Proverbs 14:16

I prayed for wisdom and discernment and every step of the way God met me and I heard what I needed to hear and I was able to see what I needed to see. “Wisdom reposes in the heart of the discerning and even among fools she lets herself be known.” Proverbs 14:33 “The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly.” Proverbs 15:14 “For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding.” Proverbs 2:6 “Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse” Proverbs 2:12 “Blessed are those who find wisdom, those who gain understanding” Proverbs 3:13 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5 “But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.” James 3:17

My life is taking a turn in a direction that I never intended I’m thankful that I know who holds my future. “Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths” Psalm 25:4 “Do not remember the sins of my youth and my rebellious ways; according to your love remember me, for you Lord, are good.” Psalm 25:7 “In all your ways submit to him and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:6

God is good and He is always faithful! “for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness.” Psalm 26:3 “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart” Jeremiah 29:13

Life lately

Last Monday I went to the gym and I ran 4 miles, and that was the last time I worked out last week. I hate being sick! I think I'm finally starting to improve but it has been unpleasant. I didn't miss any days of work, although my coworkers might have wished that I would have stayed away.

Friday night I was supposed to go to a fun event at Sassy Girl in Concord. I had the presents for my little girl that I adopted for Christmas and I took those up to get them to the lady who was taking them up but then I left. I just did not feel social.

Saturday morning I missed a 5K because instead of pushing myself out of bed I stayed in it and slept in. It was rainy and damp and I felt like it was in my best interest to rest. I did make it to the gym and I did run 3 miles on Saturday.

Saturday afternoon I went to my friend Paula's little boys first birthday party. Instead of presents she chose to request that everyone donate to a backpack ministry that provides food for kids over the weekends so that when they come to school on Monday they have had food to eat. If I ever have children in my life again I would really love to do something like this.

Sunday morning I went to church and met my friend Karen for lunch. I went home, took a nap, and then cleaned bathrooms. I even made it to the gym again!

Monday night I met up with Patrice and another friend of ours that we grew up with. It was so cool having the opportunity to sit and talk to each other and with our history together it was a very special time.

Last night I made it to the gym before meeting Tiffany for dinner and then we went to small group.

Tonight I was supposed to go to a class up at Sassy Girl and I honestly just didn't feel up to it. I know that I need to exercise and I'm trying to be consistent but tonight I felt like it was in my best interest to rest, and do a load of laundry.

I am trying to wrap up Christmas. It's come together pretty quickly. I have my brother's presents left, the gift for Patrice, and then the present for Tiffany's little girl. Everything else is completed. It felt like it snuck up on me this year but thanks to the fabulousness of Amazon I've been able to really get back ahead quickly!

Re-Capping

Thanksgiving was a week ago today. I've blinked and here I am! Or at least that is how it feels!

I still plan to recap my DC Sunday visit to the National Botanical gardens but I don't know how to upload all my pictures from my phone, I'm sure there is a way to do this but I don’t' know how, and I email each picture to myself and it takes forever!

I got home from DC on Monday and I only had to work Tuesday and Wednesday of last week. Which is awesome, and somewhat stressful considering this is the most insanely busy time of year in commercial insurance.

I was delighted that we were also released 2 hours early on Wednesday! I was able to go pick up my race packet for my Turkey Trot 10K. I went home and helped my mom by vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom, and helping with the house before our big Thanksgiving meal. I was even able to get to Belks for a few pre-Thanksgiving deals on Wednesday night.

Thursday morning my friend Nicole and I met at the Lake Norman Turkey Trot 10K. She asked me before the race started if I felt a PR and I laughed at her. The only reason I was running was so that I could eat my Thanksgiving feast without guilt. The course was 2 loops, and it was fairly hilly and not an easy course. Imagine my shock when I checked my race results that night and I realized that I PR'd it with a 57:07 time.

I said goodbye to Nicole and her fiancé and drove home to vacuum again. Jack has a lot of hair for such a little dog!

Thanksgiving this year was my parents, my mom's sister and her husband, my Uncle's parents, and my family's friends the couple who helped me move back in February and their son. The food was awesome! I'm sure Jack Banner got more scraps then he was supposed to.

Friday I had the whole day all to myself. It was amazing! I went to turkey burn at Sassy Girl. It's an hour and a half of cardio and toning and I've gone since 2012, I love it! Then I had my meeting on Friday night. It's the first time I've done a program in a year and Friday night I gave the program on the topic of gratitude.

Saturday I was supposed to have met D's first wife but she had to reschedule with me. Instead I helped my mom put together the Christmas tree. Saturday afternoon was so beautiful I took Jack for a run. Saturday night I had nursery and I let the nursery coordinator know that after January I will be returning to the Concord church. She's sad to lose me but she understands.

Sunday I got to sit with Patrice and her husband at church and we went to lunch afterwards. I made it to the gym on Sunday afternoon. When I got home I decorated the Christmas tree. Having to wake up on Monday morning was a little rough after being able to sleep in for 3 days!

VA DC trip

Friday morning (11/21) I drove to visit my friend Jessica and her family. I love visiting and catching up and spending time with them! Saturday morning started off with a very cold run! They live right on the W&OD trail which is awesome! 

Later on that day Jess and I took the metro in to DC. We got off at the Foggy Bottom station and walked into DC. 

I googled the DAR building because I thought it was close to where we were. It was and Jess walked me to it so I could see it. 

We saw a sign for a museum and Jess told me if I wanted to check it out she was fine with going in. I've been a member of DAR (Daughters of the American Revolutions) since I aged out of CAR (Children of the American Revolution). I was so excited to see this building that I have heard so much about!

The first thing we visited was the museum. They currently have an incredible quilt collection on display!

After the quilts we ran into a docent who offered to give us a tour of the state period rooms and we took her up on the offer. There are several state DAR societies that have a room in the DAR building. They are done in different periods of time from American history. When we were there they had just started the decorating for Christmas. The first room she took us to see was the NJ room.

It's hard for me to keep track of which room belonged to which state. There are certain ones that I do remember but we saw so much and the sweet lady who was giving us the tour had so much information to share it was incredible!

They have a toy attic that is full of toys. Jess pointed out that toys really haven't changed much, now they are just plastic and more cheaply put together but the concepts are still the same. 

A living room set for tea with the doll prepared with her tea set.

A dressing table

The CAR room which belongs to the National Society Children of the American Revolution

 This is the DAR library. They have an incredible amount of resources for tracing family genealogy.

The ceiling of the library is absolutely beautiful. They just completed a project repairing these lay lights that are the ceiling.

The Alabama room

This room had the Christmas tree decorated. I LOVE the chandelier!

 Notice the santa hat, that made me laugh!

All of the Christmas trees were so pretty!

 This was the Ohio room. They had it decorated for a 60's Christmas

This kitchen was set up with a hearth and all the different cooking implements they would have used during this time period.

This room was set up like a tavern. 

The stair cases in the building are marble and they have these beautiful pine cones on the banisters

There is a copy of the Declaration on the wall

This was the original DAR building before they enclosed the sections.

You can see Jess and I in this photo. This was a display that talked about a guy who died drinking an alleged 2000 gallons of beer, They had beer jugs that were popular during a certain time period.

In the Louisiana room they had stories and different pictures of brave women.

This was also on display in the Louisiana room.

In this room I took a picture of the musical instrument. Those glasses in that table are the instrument.

I thought this Christmas tree was so beautiful! It's hard to tell but it has ostrich feathers.

Another beautiful tree and the view

Decorating for Christmas

This ceiling is part of a large foyer and I thought it was so gorgeous!

Off of the large foyer they had a little room and this hope chest was in there. Notice the date.

This room was decorated as a bedroom

The Tennessee room was one of my favorites. You can see the Picture of Andrew Jackson on the wall. Apparently he picked out the pink chairs that are underneath his picture for the white house.

President Jackson caught some flack for those pink chairs so he also had to order chairs from an American furniture company as well, they were still pink, just a little more "masculine"

This is the North Carolina room. It was decorated as a very formal dining room. 

 

I recognized some of the name of one of the ladies who had donated pieces to the room and I got a kick out of that!We spent over 2 hours exploring with our docent. I am so glad we were able to visit and see everything! After we said goodbye we ventured back out in the cold again.

the White House

 These are pictures of the back of the White House they never really show the back of the house on TV but the back is so pretty too!

Jess and I. It was so cold! We decided to head to the restaurant where we were meeting my cousin for dinner after this picture.

My cousin suggested a restaurant called Tonic and it was so good! While we were waiting for Cameron we ordered wings and beer, so delicious!

Cameron arrived and we had dinner and talked and I got to hear all about what is going on with her. She is a 3rd year law student who graduates this spring. I'm so excited for her!

We got a quick picture on the Metro before she had to get off at her stop.

I am so thankful for the trip! My next post is coming. Sunday we went to the Botanical gardens and they were so beautiful!