Reclaiming

In March 2012 I decided that I needed to switch to a more anonymous blog hence Charis Faith was created.

I have been thinking about my Charbelle blog. I've been contemplating for a few weeks going back and writing in that space. I deleted all of the post from 2011 and 2012 and I just posted my recent 2016 posts. I believe it's time to reclaim the Charbelle and move foward!

You can find me here http://charbelle.blogspot.com

He is in the details

Back in September my friend had a picture posted on her FB wall and I wondered who the person was in the picture with her. Turns out it was an old family friend. As I was trying to figure out who he was our mutual friend was texting Chelsea saying if that guy loves Jesus you need to introduce him to Lori. Which made me laugh!

I forgot about it until about a month later when I got a friend request via FB and realized it was the same guy. So I accepted and we messaged back and forth for a minute and that was it. Fast forward a week and he reached out asking if he could call. We talked that Sunday. The beginning of this story is so fun to tell! We talked every day after that, and it was wonderful. He was originally supposed to come to town in November but that trip fell thru. So the trip happened the weekend of December 11-13.

Leading up to the visit I thought that everything was just going to fall into place, the way our conversations had been I fully anticipated relocating. He arrived and he was even more amazing in person and I thought that we would get married and I would move and it was going to be the best story ever….

He drove 16 hours to get here and that Saturday he was speaking locally. Saturday morning the verses that God gave me were Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.” The Sunday morning he left God gave me Isaiah 55:8-9 “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.”

I didn’t want to give up the way I wanted the story to go. I didn’t want out story to end, I wanted “I do” and forever and that simply wasn’t God’s plan. It took several weeks before he could tell me that after his visit his feeling had changed. There was a lot going on and I know that God put me in his life for a reason and I know that I had a significant impact and for that I am truly thankful! I’m not going to lie, it hurt my heart, a lot! Last Tuesday was when this man told me that after his visit his feelings had in fact changed. We were no longer on the same page about how we felt regarding each other. However in the way that only God can do, He worked out the details. I joined a book study and last Tuesday was the first night of our group and I was able to connect with a group of people and we discussed God’s vision for His church.

Last Thursday I had lunch with the 2 ladies leading the book study and we talked about God and how He’s always in the details. We talked about the ways He’s directed our steps and how He’s connected us to different people in ways that only He can do. I was so encouraged as I left lunch and God was gently speaking to my heart to trust Him. He’s been speaking that to me all along and I do, but when this guy appeared in my life it was really difficult to let go and trust God that he’s really not the one for me!

In each devotional since last Tuesday God has been speaking to me so clearly! I have had several devotionals directly relating to God’s timing, trusting Him, God directing our steps, etc., etc., etc.! He speaks SO CLEARLY! Yesterday’s message at church was also, on God’s perfect timing! When I can understand that He is speaking so clearly I can rest in knowing that He knows the plans and purpose that He has for me and He is guiding and directing me!

Monday of last week the founder of the organization who I work with that works to fight human trafficking reached out and asked if I could teach a class for her because she couldn’t be 2 places at once. We set up a meeting for Saturday morning to go over the information. After I ran my 9.5 miles, on the treadmill because it was raining, I met with my friend and we began talking about the organizations, what’s going on, and also the class I would be teaching. We started our meeting at IHOP but because it was so busy and we didn’t want to hold the table we moved locations.

As I was driving to the next location I was praying about all that we had been discussing. Teaching the class is a very huge opportunity for me! I’ll be co-teaching with the founder of another organization and our class will be volunteer coordinators who are in charge of the volunteers who will work at the race tracks helping to recognize trafficking and also rescue girls when applicable. This is a really big deal! Not only that but God has provided a house for our organization, this is HUGE! Additionally not just our organization but 2 other local organizations have just established housing, again HUGE! There is a major need for beds for individuals rescued from the life and the fact that God is providing these is a really significant miracle!

Our meeting lasted 3 hours and when I left I was completely and totally blown away by all that God is doing. He is faithful! He is crazy amazing! HE IS SO IN ALL THE DETAILS!!!!!

Yesterday I went to the prayer service at church. When I got home from Heart Quest God told me that if I was in town I was to be at the prayer service. So even on Sunday’s when I might not be able to even go to our service I go to the 8am prayer service. The prayer service ended and the lady who is in charge of our prayer room asked me if I had ever thought about joining them. I said yes, but I wasn’t sure how. Our prayer room is where intercessors pray during our 2 Sunday services. She told me she doesn’t usually ask people but she knew she was supposed to ask me. Once again God was directly telling me that I am EXACTLY where I am supposed to be! I texted her my email so that I can be added to the schedule. Then the message, like I mentioned above, was about God’s timing, and how His timing is always always always perfect!

When I got home I sent a text to the guy and I told him that I will always think he’s awesome and amazing. I said that God was already telling me on the day that he left that our story wasn’t going to be the way that I wanted it to go. I said that I’m excited for what God is doing with him and his ministry but I’m also really excited for what God is doing with me and where He is leading me. I then sent him my notes from the sermon. I knew he needed those notes, and I wanted him to not feel any guilt over what had happened. There’s nothing for either of us to regret, it’s simply that God has different plans and we both get to follow His leading and trust Him! He replied back to my message how much he appreciated my words and how much I had just blessed him. For which, I’m thankful!

Last night there was an event called A Night of Hope. It was the 7 local organizations who fight human trafficking. It was a night of worship and unity. No one group was specifically speaking about themselves but we all came together to share and raise awareness and call warriors to action to fight this evil! OH MY GOODNESS IT WAS SO AMAZING!!!!!! My friend Chelsea was in charge of quite a bit of it and she did a phenomenal job!!!!!! The whole night was absolutely incredible!!!!! I’m thankful for how God is moving and what He is doing! 

2016 has not started at all how I thought it would look, IT’S SO MUCH BETTER AND SO MUCH MORE AMAZING!!!!!!!! God is faithful! God is in the details! God is never too early, never too late, His timing is perfect!

He has called you

Last year when I entered the final days before I filed I posted a list of verses because I was SO READY for everything to just be final!

There is a scene in the movie War Room where Elizabeth and Danielle are going to visit Mrs. Clara and when they get there Mrs. Clara already knows the news Elizabeth has to tell her. Elizabeth says, "now that's the kind of connection to God that I need"! Danielle had actually texted Mrs. Clara the information because she was so excited but that is exactly how I'm feeling right about now. I would like to be able to just know more details. I would like to have that kind of connection so I can plan accordingly.

The beginning of 2016 is not at all how I thought it was going to look. I've been learning how to let go of thinking that I need to have all the answers. I'm focusing on all that I have to be thankful for! I also prayed this morning about what am I supposed to be doing? The following verses were given to me.

“He has told you, O man, what is good, and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly with your God?” Micah 6:8

“Seek good, and not evil, that you may live; and so that the Lord, the God of hosts, will be with you, as you have said.” Amos 5:14

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefor do not be anxious about tomorrow for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.’” Matthew 6:33-34

“But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

“And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 6:37-38

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.” Deuteronomy 6:5-6

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

“I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living! Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord.” Psalm 27:13-14

“I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I hope” Psalm 130:5

“Our soul waits for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.” Psalm 33:20-22

“Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride. Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord!” Psalm 31:23-24

“And now, O Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in you.” Psalm 39:7

“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope: the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. The Lord is my portion, says my soul, therefore I will hope in Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him. The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Lamentations 3:21-25

“But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.” Micah 7:7

I've realized that He's already told me what my purpose is, to love Him, to serve Him and to be His hands and feet. I worship, and move forward and know that His timing and His ways are never mine. I've tried forcing solutions and I know that the solutions I arrive at are never a blessing but when I wait on the Lord and on His timing I am always blessed. 

I didn't expect to want to get married again, until He healed my heart and allowed me to feel again. I didn't expect to have 3 different opportunities to meet new guys last year and God, in His own way, in His own time, brought 3 different guys into my life and then in His time took them out of my life. I know that with the first guy seeds were planted, with the 2nd guy I think that was more for my benefit t understand that certain character traits that I said don't exist, actually do. I still think God was laughing on that night of the first date with him when I about fell out of my chair. With the last one I know that I had an impact and I wouldn't trade that. I made a difference and I was an encouragement and for that I'm thankful.

My friends are going online and using apps and there are so many different ways to meet people and yet I know that for me I am not to go about it that way. At least not yet. If God brought the first 3 then I know He will bring someone else, in His time in His way. Of course... I would prefer that I not hurt so much over the next one as I did the last one! Even in that I will trust Him!

As I go into the weekend I'm looking forward to boot camp tonight and a long run tomorrow. I will continue to live my life to the fullest and trust the details to the One writing my story!

When the story ends differently

I was reading back through the past few months of what’s been happening. I was reminded of a story when I was reading about my trip down to Isle of Palms for Ally and Aaron’s wedding. I had been struggling a little bit over the guy who I went to high school with who had fallen off the face of the earth after 2 dates. I had been praying about the disappointment and praying about the future. I had been on the Daniel Fast up until 11:30 Saturday morning when the women’s conference ended. I was CRAVING a burger. I don’t typically eat hamburgers. I will usually opt for a healthier choice. That Saturday morning a burger and fries and Dr. Pepper were all I could think about. As I was driving down the road I was planning exactly where I would stop and what it was going to taste like and I just knew it was going to be amazing.

I stopped myself and realized that there was more to this then just me HAVING to have a burger. So I prayed. God asked me, why don’t you just stop and get something now if you’re so hungry? I replied because I REALLY want a burger and if I stop for something else I’m not going to be able to enjoy the burger. So then God pointed out that I was willing to wait for what I really wanted when it came to food so was I also willing to wait for His best for my life when it came to dating. I immediately answered that I want your best, always. As soon as the conversation happened the song “Good Good Father” came on the radio and it was such confirmation to me of what happened. The funny part to the story is this happened at 11:30 and it was another hour before I was actually able to find a Wendy’s to stop at and end my fast.

Interestingly a few weeks later I had another guy come into my life for a season. I thought I knew how the story would go. I thought I knew how it was going to work out and I was so excited! Once again I felt hope! Once again I felt excited! I committed everything to the Lord and trusted that He had the details. God totally had every detail! He is amazing and He is faithful. The story didn’t happen the way that I thought it would. I know that God has me exactly where I’m supposed to be. He has intricately woven me into the lives of friends and family and church and I am thankful that I so often see Him move! The knowledge that God is in control and He knows the story He is writing allows me to continue moving forward however and wherever He calls me and wherever He leads.

I knew when I left D that my life pre-marriage had been a train wreck. I promised nothing after my marriage would look like my life before it. I have known since I left that my life is not my own and that wherever God calls me I will go. I look at the details of how God brought me to the new job, has brought people into my life, and allows me to be a part of sharing His love with others.

I have learned how to go deeper into the Word. I have learned how to praise through the storms. I have learned how to keep focus in the good times, which is sometimes actually more difficult for me then when the storms are raging. When things are good it’s easy for me to be complacent. I am learning how to keep my focus all the time.

I’ve said this so many times but I continue to write it because I have to remember. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future. 

2016 is off to a good start!

Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations,

I will be exalted in the earth.”

In the moments when I can be still before Him I can find peace. Life is crazy busy. These past weeks since Thanksgiving have been very intense work wise. Then trying to make sure to have the opportunity to spend time with family and friends. It’s certainly been a whirlwind going into 2016!

2015 was filled with amazing blessings! I will always look back and remember that 2015 was a good year!

I thought that there would be some situations that would look a little different in 2016 but I can let go of the idea of how I thought it would look. I can trust knowing that God has the perfect plans for me. He has woven me into the lives of friends, he has woven me into church and he causes details to work so amazingly! When I remember where I was this time in 2014, and how far I’ve come, it’s really incredible!

This time last year the countdown had begun for when I would be able to file my paperwork. I was going to be closing out the final chapter of my marriage. It was a long process! I still hear from my ex although not nearly as often as before. I still do not respond to any messages from him.

I intended to put less on the calendar for 2016 but the year is already starting off with plenty of calendar events already booked. I’m trying to be wise about what I book and not overbook, we’ll see how it goes. I’m excited for what’s coming!