FL trip, 90 days ending, back in the groove

This is the last week of September and I’m thankful! I’m thankful for the amazing trips! I’m thankful for my amazing friends! I’m thankful that this crazy month is wrapping up. I would not trade one trip or one memory and I realize I am beyond blessed! I’m also thankful that despite being full October is not a heavy travel month.

The month was not originally supposed to be that travel heavy but when Patrice called to tell me that she was being flown down to FL for the Medi convention and that she could bring a guest and she wanted me to come I simply could not say no. I didn’t have to pay for the flight or the hotel. I was a guest at the formal banquet and the dinner cruise. Breakfast and lunch were provided on Saturday. And the best part of all was a weekend away with my friend, it was an amazing and wonderful time!

I mentioned last week that sun poisoning is painful and no joke. The swelling in my legs and feet was a little scary! I was concerned about my shoes for Friday night because if my feet were still swollen they were not going to fit.

Wednesday night I picked up my amazing jewelry set from my friend Amy. She saw a picture of my dress and immediately offered to make the jewelry for me. I was delighted with how it all turned out!

Thursday morning I was up early to pack. I left for the airport and arrived shortly before Patrice. We got everything checked in and made our way through security. Coffee was absolutely necessary and we got our fix at Starbucks. We landed in Tampa and ubered to our hotel. I downloaded the app right before we left Charlotte and we found it to be the coolest thing ever! So convenient and easy!

Once we checked in to the hotel we made our way to dinner. We ate at a Cuban restaurant called the Columbian that had amazing food! We each had a salad that was fantastic! I had a cup of Spanish bean soup that was delicious and we split the Cuban which was awesome!!! This trip officially ended my 90 days no sweets no whites (no white bread, pasta, crackers, etc) and so Thursday night I celebrated with a cookie, I was so full from dinner that a cookie was the extent of my celebration.

Friday morning one of my heart quest sisters picked me up. We took her two littlest to a close by playground and they enjoyed playing while she and I caught up with each other. It was so good to see her and hear what God is doing and it’s so awesome to have that opportunity to catch up and give hugs! FB and social media are great but when you get to see someone face to face it’s always special! I will say this, FL is hot! I just experienced an incredibly hot summer in Charlotte and honestly it never bothered me. I could walk outside and stand and not sweat even when it was crazy hot. Florida is a whole other level!

After we said goodbye I went back up to the room and hung out. Patrice had to be ready by 2 so before she went to that we grabbed a bite to eat at the sports bar restaurant that was in the hotel. Where we stayed there were 3 places to eat a fancy restaurant, a sports bar a casual (but expensive) café type place and then they also had a bar in the lobby.

Friday night we had the formal dinner. Patrice had a gorgeous, stunning, gold sequin dress that was by Ralph Lauren. She was handing out awards at the dinner. She looked fabulous!!! I bought my dress on my birthday. It’s a strapless ball gown that had a pattern print underneath with a tulle net overlay by Faviana. My friend Amy made the jewelry that was absolutely perfect with it! She is such an incredible artist!

I was there to help if she needed me, hold her purse, and basically for me it was a free meal and I talked to the people at my table and had a wine glass that never went empty. I had to make sure that I drank more water than wine, which I did. The wait staff did an awesome job making sure that everyone was taken care of. After dinner we went to the lobby bar and had a glass of wine and talked to people. Patrice is on the marketing material that a lot of offices use so everyone wanted to meet her and talk to her and get to know her.

Saturday morning we enjoyed breakfast, the eggs were amazing! It was a buffet style breakfast and there was plenty! I made sure that I enjoyed every last bite of the pastry, I wished they had had cinnamon rolls! After breakfast we went to the pool and hung out until lunch time. Lunch was served buffet style and they did an awesome job! The desserts were little so I made sure I tried one of each! I also enjoyed a piece of bread and a bread stick!

Saturday evening we had a dinner cruise. Oh my gosh it was so beautiful on the water!!! Not only that, BUT THE FOOD!!!! It was all so good! We were given drink tickets when we got on the boat so that was 2 drinks each but the wine Patrice was drinking she had to purchase so that was additional tickets for me and even still we ended up with a leftover drink ticket. I couldn’t find the tickets so I purchased a drink and then we were offered drinks at one point and of course we accepted.

They passed the desserts hor ‘doeuvre’s style. I managed to snag a brownie bite and a chocolate covered strawberry, much to my disappointment that was the extent of my sweet treats. I was still full from dinner so I suppose it worked out. As we were exiting the boat they did have hot fresh chocolate chip cookies and I did thoroughly enjoy that! We went to the lobby bar for a drink, we talked to people and then made our exit. 

We enjoyed breakfast Sunday morning and then packed up and headed to the airport. I dropped Patrice off with her family and by this time it was after 4. I was craving both sushi and pizza so I stopped by Harris Teeter to enjoy both. I also picked up a coconut crème filled Russell Stover chocolate pumpkin. I went home and I enjoyed every last bite and then a little while later I enjoyed a bloody mary!

This morning and for the next 12 days I won’t be having sweets, alcohol, no bread of any kind, no meat including no fish or eggs, and no dairy. I’m happy to do this, I’m not complaining and I won’t be talking about it or posting about it via social media. I didn’t want to feel unnecessary temptation during this time because I hadn’t properly prepared. I understood what I was beginning this today, and since my 90 day no sweets no white was ending immediately before I started this I made sure that I dealt with as much of what I had been missing as possible so I can focus as I need to for the next 12 days.

This week I have to get back in the workout groove. All last week I had to give my legs time to heal. I’m not looking forward to my return to the gym. I know it’s going to hurt!

Dirty Dancing Festival Lake Lure NC

My friend Nicole arrived at my house around 2 and we loaded up my trunk and headed out. Traffic on Fridays is always a challenge and last Friday was no exception! We arrived in Black Mountain and got checked in.

I read about this festival back in April and it sounded like so much fun to me! I have always liked the movie and I love dancing! So I researched and I thought Black Mountain was closer to Lake Lure then it was. I was a little dismayed when I found out it was actually about a 30 minute drive.

After we got into our room we were starving so we decided to try out the Black Mountain Ale House, it was really delicious!

My friend Kerry and I had both made plans for this festival but she had rented a cabin. I got a text from her on Friday night asking what hotel we were in. Turns out the cabin had been misrepresented and they were not going to stay there. I said ok well it will be tight but we will make room. She texted back that they had been able to book a room. That was fortunate because 5 people in our room would have been really tight!

Friday night we decided not to try and drive back over to watch the movie opting to just hang out at the hotel instead. Saturday morning after breakfast Tiff, Nicole and I headed up to Lake Lure. Kerry and her friend Lou were about 30 minutes behind us. What I didn't know was that cell reception at the top of the mountain would be non existent. I wasn't able to get ahold of them all day long and I was SO bummed! I had really been looking forward to hanging out that whole day with everyone!

Nicole Tiff and  I found parking and made our way to the line to get in. Once we were in we figured out our game plan. We walked down to the beautiful flowering bridge. We stopped in a little shop for water and rested for a minute. Then we made our way back and sat and listened to music and watched people dance and it was so much fun! I actually got asked to dance and agreed to it. There were lots of very nice guys there who would just dance with everyone and that was really fun!

They had a shag competition and it was so fascinating to watch! I definitely plan to go back next  year!

We arrived back at the hotel the same time as Kerry and Lou and we made plans to visit the place Nicole and I had gone for dinner on Friday night. They had live music and we sat and talked and listened to music for several hours. While we were hanging out Tiff got a glass from Appalachian Brewery and she wanted to take the glass with us but the waitress carried the glass away. So we all made an effort to drink as much water (and some of us drank beer too) in order to get her the glass back but it never came back to our table. As we were leaving we asked the dishwasher to try and find it but it wasn't back there. So we gave the manager Kerry's number and asked if she found it to please call.

The way Kerry and I met, she was married to D first. She reached out to me and we met in December and then became friends on FB and IG. We had a girls night in April and she's been amazing to me! The more I've had the opportunity to get to know her the more I realize what a complete idiot my ex is. Yes he is an idiot on many levels but when it comes to his first wife, he had the most perfect person in the world for him. He is no good for anyone but she is amazing and fabulous and I love her and he's got to be the dumbest intelligent person I've ever met. He was frighteningly smart in some ways but in human interaction he's just incapable! I always knew if I met her I would love her and I was right!

When we got back to the hotel Nicole and Tiff went to bed but I wasn't tired yet. So I hung out with Kerry and Lou. While I was there we got a text that they found the glass. Lou had been DD and she offered to just go ahead and drive back to get the glass. Kerry gave me a $10 to tip the manager and we got the glass back for Tiff. We were so ridiculously excited but it was one of those just really fun things and it really made the night that we were able to get that!

Sunday morning we said goodbye and headed home. It was an incredible weekend!!! I am so thankful for the friendships and the time we were all able to be together!

5 Minutes

Friday as I drove to pick up Audra I listened to bits and pieces of news updates. My heart hurt.

I picked her up and we talked about our weekend and what was coming. We talked about her day at school. I told her I love her, many times over.

Friday night we decorated Christmas cookies. 2 batches turned out beautifully. The batch where she and her Dad decided to use pastel mini marshmallows and peanuts with chocolate syrup to get them to stick, well if they didn't have chocolate they would have made great treats for Jack.

I decided that Friday night will be our only cookie decorating event for this year. I will be using the leftover M&M's and peanut butter chips to make brownies for our neighbors to share the holiday cheer.

Saturday morning I took Audra to ballet. I will say again how thankful I am for the other sweet mom's who have daughters in her class. It makes the 45 minutes fly by!

After ballet I packed a bag, and packed Jack's bag. He went and stayed with the Granparents and after dropping him off I headed to Durham.

I SO needed the break and to get out of town!!! I arrived just after 2 and Margaret asked me what I wanted to do. She had 2 friends whose wine shops were having tastings and I thought that sounded like fun so we went.

After the wine tastings we went by the store where she sometimes works, so many pretty things!!!

After the store we went for a glass of Sangria, it was yummy!!! After Sangria I got my sushi fix! There is a sushi place in Durham that has buy one get one free rolls. We ordered and indulged! It was so delicious!!! Daron has offered to buy groupons for sushi places that have come out and I've always told him no. I am a very expensive sushi date! It works much better if I go with a friend and it's just me!

After dinner we went to a party that was a combined birthday/engagement celebration. I enjoyed talking to Margaret's friends, and  really had a great time! By the time we got back to the house it was after 10 and I was definitely turning into a pumpkin. I had been up at 5:30 that morning to make sure to fit a run in for the day and that was catching up with me!

Sunday I said goodbye and drove back to my parent's to pick up Jack. He was exhausted from all the fun he had!

I took Audra back to her mom and fit a trip in to the gym.

While life goes on, and I understand how blessed I am, I have said many prayers this weekend.

growth in the change

D and I were talking on Monday night about Thanksgiving food. I mentioned the lima bean casserole that he made last year. He said "I don’t like to think about that time last year, you didn't like me then."

In truth I didn't. I didn't respond with my immediate thought of you were not doing anything to make me like you last year.

The choices I have made in my life are mine. I made the choice to get married. I made the choice to figure myself out before making any major decisions.

There were times when I had to leave. I don't regret those choices. I don't regret going back.

The week of thanksgiving I had a FB message from someone I once considered a close friend. She is a client at my Uncle's clinic and had run into my aunt. I believe that she is the one who told my aunt information that she had no business sharing and because of that information I did not attend family events through the spring or summer. My aunt had told her about my Grandmother. She was writing to tell me she was sorry to hear that.

I heard from this same individual on Sunday night. Her cat was sick and she wanted my uncle's information. To that point I hadn't heard from her before the FB message in a year. I explained that she just needed to leave a message and the doctor on call would call her back.

There had been a series of events that led to the ending of our friendship. The final straw is that she was adamant that I needed to leave my marriage last year. While I appreciated the concern I already realized that there were things I needed to do differently. I had the understanding that I had choices.

When Jack and Daron had their altercation, I thought about it. I figured out a solution. I brought in a dog trainer. Had D not agreed to the trainer, I would not have stayed. To this day I know it hurts his feelings that I would have chosen Jack over him, but what he will never understand is just how bad the situation was for me.

Jack still has behavioral challenges. I'm working with him because he has snapped at Audra more then once. I think it's his way of warning her, but regardless he's not allowed to do that. So every time he does it, he is punished. I don’t think he's ever going to be great around people he doesn’t know and we haven't been consistent enough with his training to help the situation. However, he and Daron get along and that is the whole reason I brought in a trainer in the first place.

I was always one to just re-act. I would impulsively decide and move forward and go along with however that decision played out. With my career I never just quit, I always had my next job in place before I left the current job. I was also always willing to work more then one job. I think I found that I was good at work, and since I can spend money like water it was a necessary choice.

My aunt and my mom had a heart to heart recently and I will be able to enjoy Christmas with my family. My aunt has stated that if my mom could forgive then she could at least be in the same room with D.

I truly have to give the glory where it's due. God moved. He moved in a mighty way and He continues to move.

I wrote letters last summer, lots of them, telling my husband things that I knew he didn't understand about God's love, and forgiveness and grace. I realized that my husband hated himself, and because he did, he couldn't begin to understand how to love someone else.

These days if you talk to D he will tell you that he knows that God actually likes him, not just loves him. He will talk about how he doesn't stress over things the way that he used to because he knows that God's got it.

Daron will tell you that he made the conscience choice to be less selfish. I can tell you that I have to watch my re-actions. I've been in Al-Anon a year now. I'm by no means an expert. I will always have to check myself, my motives, my attitude, and recognize when I need to back off. I attend my meetings on Tuesday nights, and I listen so that I can grow.

Nothing is ever perfect. I never expected it to be. I'm just so incredibly thankful for the life we have! Prayer changes things, not in the time frame we might want, but the growth is in the delay.   

Friday's Reflections

This week has been short work wise. Wednesday night I cleaned the office. I didn't go to the gym. Yesterday my fat jean, the jeans that have usually been loose, were too tight. I realized I need to quit letting myself slide.

I went to Walm4rt at lunch and bought a potassium supplement, goodbye 2 banana a day habit. I also purchased a B complex supplement and a multi vitamin that is supposed to boost metabolism. Anything that claims to boost metabolism I do not believe. I just bought that one because after my research yesterday it had ingredients in it that I was looking for and I didn't want to buy that many individual bottles.

I passed up the birthday cupcakes yesterday afternoon. For me this is significant. I normally would have indulged. Probably even had 2. Yesterday I let it sit and while I was tempted I did a good job not giving in.

I ran yesterday afternoon with Jack. It was a good run, and hopefully helps loosen me up for Saturday's race.

We have netflix streaming and I am currently hooked on Say Yes to the Dress. I had seen a few episodes at different times but since I've never personally had cable it's not something I've been able to watch regularly. I enjoy watching because I can relate to the experience of working bridal. What those consultants have that I didn't, closing skills.

I miss Patrice. We talked about it this week and realized that when we get into life's groove it's easy to not realize just how much you miss someone. Then when you are able to spend time with them again it hits you just how much you miss them. This time last Friday I was on a plane.

I thought about the drive last Friday on my way in to work today. I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go down for a visit.

I finally stepped on the scale this morning. I weigh 7 lbs less then what I thought I weighed and I weigh 20 pounds more then I did on my wedding day. Now that I know, I can move forward.

It's not that I don't know what to do. It's that I just would rather eat the 2 cupcakes, the however many donuts, the brownie, the cookies, the insert food name here. I don't like to be hungry, and sometimes that is just necessary in order for my body to reset.

Mr. Clean pointed out last night that another factor may be my body is just used to running now. I was a walker for years, years and years. From 13 until 29 I was a walker and I would go to the gym and use the elliptical machine.

Then one cold January day, in order to get a quick workout in, I started running and just ran as far as I could. Then I started pushing that distance out. Then I signed up for a March race. I think I also cut out sugar around the same time, which helped.

My running and cutting out sugar allowed me to lose weight. I've also been a long time diet pill user, you name it I have probably taken it and most don't work. Unless you have a prescription, those actually do work. For my wedding the true secret to how I was at my low weight was the diet pills I was taking. They were fantastic. Unfortunately my body gets used to this stuff fairly quickly.

My body is basically immune to high levels of caffeine and whatever else they put in the pills to supposedly help you loose weight. I don't take the "natural types". You know the ones, those truly never ever work for me. I was so upset when they took the ephedra off the market because any diet pill containing this actually worked. Unfortunately for others they were fatal.  I'm sure if I actually admitted this to a true medical professional they would be beyond horrified.

Knowing that I could spend ridiculous money on another round of diet pills and the likelihood that they would work was slim I decided to see how just the supplements will work for me. I'm taking them based on my research. I'm not expecting them to be the reason I lose weight I just think they will help my body.

I also have to figure out new ways to burn calories. Mr. Clean was saying I would have to figure out how to work harder, the catch, from running so long is that really I can't work much harder. However, I can do interval work. I can run hard and then do something else and make my workouts more of an interval style.

I can look into the classes that my gym offers. I will also be checking the gym next to my office. I have a lot of options. I just have to figure out what is going to work for me. Turning down the cupcakes yesterday was a huge win for me. I know it sounds so dumb but it was. The brownies at the house were finished off by Mr. Clean yesterday and he said that it's fine if I don't make any for a while. He's going to go back to his one candy bar a day habit. He knows he's not to buy me any candy.

I have taken the first steps. I am moving forward. I know it's a process.

5 minutes

Friday I mentioned that we were going to a food truck rally. I was excited. I would have preferred to have kept that one as a girls night. However, I was nice and invited Mr. Clean. Who hates the heat. Who loves food, so I figured he might have enjoyed the event.

They advertised kid friendly and it sounded like there would be a lot more kid activities then there actually were. Even so had it just been Girl Clean and I we would have stayed longer then the 45ish minutes we stayed.

I hope they have another event in the fall when the temps are cooler and I can make that one a just Girl Clean and I event. My friend Vada had told me about it and we met her out there. Fortunately she had another friend who joined her so that when we left she still had someone there.

Saturday morning I slept too late to run outside. I've been trying to give my knees time anyways. I went to the gym and took Girl Clean with me to hang out with the kids in the play room. She seems to really enjoy this and it gives me a chance to work out and Mr. Clean needed to do yard work and take his car to vacuum it out.

I had a good workout, 2 miles elliptical, strength training, 2 more miles elliptical. I was pleased but still felt exhausted rather then energized. Girl Clean and I got home and I fed her lunch. We hung out for a few minutes and then headed to the pool while Mr. Clean headed to the store.

She and I stayed at the pool around an hour and a half. She would have stayed longer but it was right in the middle of the day and I was worried about her skin. I re-applied sunscreen at the hour mark. I missed my middle and lower back. Turns out it worked well that we only stayed as long as we did. I got burned, but she was perfectly fine.

She likes to flirt with the life guards. She is 3 1/2. She is a flirt, and likes boys in the 8 and older range. I get a kick out of watching her and can only think we are all in trouble as she gets older.

We had church Saturday night and then Mr. Clean fixed dinner when we got home. He's started actually taking me up on my offer to help. This makes life much more pleasant when he does!

Sunday I woke up and some kind of cold or something had finally taken hold. I texted Margs, with her being pregnant I did not want to put her at risk. However, she said she wanted to see me and didn't care and I promised not to breathe on her.

It was so good to see her!!! She arrived around 12:40 and left at 4:30 when I had to take Girl Clean home. We spent the entire time talking. Love her so much and it's so hard knowing she's so far away in Canada!!!

When I got to Girl Clean's mom's place there was news. Amy got engaged Saturday night. I told her congratulations and to just keep us posted. Mr. Clean said "as long as Justin is as good of a stepdad as you are a stepmom then that is all that matters." Which I've said all along all that matters is how he treats our girl.

I was in bed early last night, and woke up still sick. This stuff needs to move along and move along quickly!!!

Career, Meetings, Friendship

I found out yesterday at work that my bosses boss J is retiring the first of June. She is 43. She has a 10 year old and a 6 year old. Her husband owns a business. When she first came to visit she made the statement that family should always come first. She is staying true to herself although leaving the career that she has worked so hard for was not an easy decision.

I thought a lot yesterday about career and family. I thought about the different comments I heard and realized that while it would seem an easy decision I can understand why it wasn't. When you've worked your whole life, and you've been successful with what you do, it's not easy to step back. Of course she loves her family, but she's been able to juggle (with the help of her husband) for a long time now. Except now her girls are older, the job requires more travel, and her husband's business is busier then ever.

I know that it is very easy to tie our identity to what we do. I always thought I would like to be a stay at home mom someday. Except now that I see what my life is like and what my friends who do stay home have as challenges every day I really like the path that has unfolded for me. I have a unique opportunity of being a mom on weekends, yet during the week I have my own schedule. I'm able to escape the office at lunch to run around and accomplish whatever I need to accomplish. I have a manager who sits down and talks with me. I know what is expected. I leave everything on my desk at 4:15 and I don't think about it again until 7:15.

Mr. Clean has mentioned eventually going to a 3 day on 4 day off 4 day on 3 day off schedule with Girl Clean. To be perfectly honest the idea of this kind of freaks me out. I know when/if the time comes it will be just fine and it will all work out. I hope that it does as I know that it's important for our daughter to have quality time with both sides of her family. I've taken into account how we might make this a possibility. It's all a few years out so I have a lot of time to pray over it.

I had my Al-Anon meeting last night. The program was on letting go. I am so thankful for the shares and wisdom. It's so hard to let go when you want so much to fix everything. There are some things that are just not in my realm to fix.

In other news I was searching out cute nursery ideas for Patrice. I sent a bunch of pictures and idea. Why was I sending her ideas... Remember in SATC when Miranda is pregnant. Patrice is Miranda and I am Charlotte!

I just had my 1 on 1 meeting with my manager. It went well. I'm thankful for my job and thankful for the opportunity to work for the company that I do!

A friend in need

My friend Hailey has a post up. We knew each other before our blogs but reconnected through the blogs. I love how that works!

Her post includes links to help a friend. A friend we love who has had an extraordinarily devastating few years.

Please click over and check it out. Thank you!

Cookie Decorating in pictures

One 3 year old, one almost 3 year old, lots of sprinkles and candy, and you have a successful cookie decorating day!!! 

I have to say that yesterday was rather surreal. I have never done a cookie decorating party at my house before. Having one of my very best friends come to hang out was just so special. I know that lots of people do cookie decorating, and I've baked for a long time. There was just something so special to me about the memory created yesterday!

Friendship

I got a call last night from my Margs (MFT). Margs and I met when we were 8 years old, we played with my Barbies at the University Hilton. We were attending the Children of the American Revolution NC state conference.

The next year we hung out at the NCCAR state conference at the Embassy Suites in Raleigh, NC. There was a snowstorm that literally shut down the city. We clicked, that was all there was to it.

The following year the state conference was held in Statesville, NC. My mom took us to the mall. Margs bought a bunch of pink makeup and a 3 musketeers bar.

It was after this conference that she and I became pen pals. We would write to each other, send stickers, kept in touch. She was tiny and petite and smart and sophisticated, at least in my eyes. She was the youngest of 3 and I was the oldest with just a younger brother.

Margs and I lived about 2 hours apart, she was in Winston Salem and I was in Charlotte. I counted down the times for the next State CAR events so I could see my friend. When I was in the 8th grade I ran for my first state office. Margs was already on State Board as an officer. Her brother and sister both served a term as NC State president but Margs went on to run for National Board and that allowed me the opportunity to serve as NC State President.

Margs family had a house in Hampstead, not far from Topsail Island where my family always stayed. So a tradition started that she would come stay with my family at the beach for a few days, my family adored Margs, and she loves them.

I ran for national office but lost to a guy from Florida. Margs also ran, and I think she won again but now I can't remember. CAR was never as much her thing as it was mine. I'm most grateful for the fact that it gave me a lifelong friend. I was ecstatic when she made the announcement that she was going to be attending App, even more excited when I discovered we would live in the same dorm building, White Hall.

Margs original intent was to major in Hospitality management. She had spent so much time in hotels, her mom served as the National Senior President for CAR. So because of this Margs knows her way around a hotel. I don't think she actually kept this major, if I'm not mistaken she ended up with more of a general business degree, but I might be wrong.

She attended my graduation from App on Saturday, including the dinner with my family. Then my family attended her graduation from App on Sunday (mother's day 2001) including the breakfast we had at her apartment. I will never forget that she ran out of time to go to the ladies room and while up to that day her fear had been tripping as she walked across the stage when the time came all she could think about was the fact that she needed to get to the ladies room.

After graduation she moved back to Winston and I moved back to Charlotte. She met Alex Sophomore year and they dated for the next several years. He moved back to Knoxville, TN and she eventually moved there as well. April 24, 2004 Margs and Alex got married in Winston Salem. They continued to live in Knoxville until Alex landed the job with the company he now works for. The first opportunity with this company took them to West Bend Wisconsin in 2006.

The August 2008 day that I received the phone call that the were moving to Greenville, SC made me shout with absolute joy. One of my favorite Margs quotes ever, and my child will be born in the South!!!! Margs is a Southern girl through and through. They moved to Simpsonville (right outside of Greenville) in September 2008. My nephew was born that November on the 5th.

My Margs has been in my life now for 24 years. Last January she and I were talking and I knew that another promotion and move would be coming for them at some point in the near future. Yesterday afternoon I got the call, they are moving to Vancouver, Canada. My heart dropped, and I cried. Then I pulled it together. This is an amazing opportunity for my friends. I love them both, and I think it's absolutely wonderful that Alex has found such a great career that he is passionate about and loves.

It makes me no less sad that my Margs will no longer be less then 2 hours away from me. I did my best to make the time to make sure that I got down there as often as possible. I know that I will see her, and I know that this is not forever.

Fortunately for me we have phones, email, facebook, and air travel. I know that while I will miss my friend I am also extremely happy for them that they have this opportunity.

So today I'm a little sad, not for my friend, but for me. Girlfriends are absolutely one of the greatest gifts that God gives us!!!

Friendship - and changing over initials to names

June 5, 1979 Miss Kay was born. August 21, 1979 Charbelle was born. Fast forward 3 years to Sonshine School, then Kindergarten for 1/2 the year. Then 1st grade, 2nd, 3rd, 4th, birthday parties, sleepovers, yet they weren't really BFF's at this point. That would not happen until right before 8th grade, and something just clicked and from that moment on they understood each other in the way that transcended mere friendship and made them sisters. Through high school and college they would have fights and disagreements, because sisters do. They attended different high schools and both graduated in 1997. Miss Kay is the reason Charbelle chose Appalachian. Charbelle became a freshman at Appalachian state Fall of 1997 and Miss Kay began attending in Spring of 1998. There would be a gigantic falling out before Miss Kay's wedding and they kissed and made up just in time. Miss Kay became Mrs.Kay/PMG January 2007 with Charbelle standing at the front with her. Although Mrs. Kay lives in Florida she has been amazing throughout the process that began when the frog prince, Mr. Clean, place the ring on Charbelle's finger.


February 1988 University Hilton Charlotte, NC, Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference. Charbelle is introduced to Lillian, and they play Barbies and form a friendship. February 1989 Embassy Suites Raleigh NC North Carolina State Children of the American Revolution state Conference, Charbelle and Lillian reconnect. March 1990 Howard Johnson Hotel Statesville, NC Children of the American Revolution North Carolina State Conference Charbelle and Lillian are so excited to see each other. They exchange addresses and become pen pals. As they would see each other at state events the friendship continued. In 1997 the girls graduated from High School and both moved to Boone, NC to attend Appalachian State University. There the friendship grew closer. There would be a major falling out and then making up with each other. They spent several days each summer between 1995-2002 at the beach with Charbelle's family. Lillian became Mrs. Lillian/MFT in April 2004. Mrs. Lillian has called Charbelle out many times over and is truly not afraid to voice her opinions and thoughts.

August 1993 Charbelle began her high school experience in Concord, NC.  Miss P was a year behind Charbelle and in high school they were never that close. It wasn't until after high school that the friendship really formed and blossomed. When Miss P moved back to Charlotte from law school, she moved in to Charbelle's new condo. A misadventure to Charleston resulted in Miss P reaching out to her vast network of friends and helping to rescue Charbelle and bring her home again. Miss P purchased her own townhome and moved away. She met her great love, and lost her great love, and will never be the same. Then after time, and when the time was right she met the man who set her world right again. He is everything she never knew she needed and allows her to be 100% her. He's amazingly right for her, and they fit together like Peanut Butter and Jelly. They married each other in November 2009 and she is Mrs. P/PYS. It's quite wonderful to see Mrs. P with the Mr.! She is honest and loyal, amazing, courageous, brave, and she never gives up!

August 1998 Charbelle and TRH become next door neighbors in the dorm. January 1999 Charbelle and TRH become roommates. They lived together, worked together, they were pretty much attached at the hip. Roomie was everything Charbelle would never be, petite blonde, tiny, feisty. They were party girls and loved to go out and have fun. Charbelle went to work for the bridal store in March 2000 and as spring turned to summer the store needed another girl so Roomie got the job. When May 2001 arrived and Charbelle was 1 credit of a PE short requiring her to stay in Boone one more semester Roomie knew of an apartment with a room that they could sublet.

May 2001, Charbelle met MG. It was her birthday and her liquor of choice was Captain Morgan so Charbelle had a bottle waiting. These 3 roommates consumed enough wine to float a boat, they had wine and cheese night every night. They learned to mix drinks, had parties, and enjoyed life the way only college students can. Charbelle is the reason MG now drinks beer.

As in all good friendships there was a falling out between these friends and as is the case with very true friendships they all made up again. Roomie got married in October 2006 and became Mrs. J/THJ and she went with Charbelle to pick out her wedding gown. They returned to their favorite place in all the world on top of that NC mountain.

MG/Doc M met Mr. Clean the weekend of the engagement. Initially concerned at the pace of the relationship after meeting him she had no concerns to voice. Knowing Charbelle as she does she knows that her friend has finally found her frog prince.

Into everyone's life I think friendship is the most valuable gift that God gives us. Friends hold us accountable, and hold us up in times of trouble. As I prepare for my wedding day I am reflective, as is the case with any time I am going through a major life change. I have been blessed beyond compare that I have such wonderful amazing friendships! I don't just have one best friend. When it came to picking out my one attendant I simply knew that I would go with my friend who I had known the longest. My girls all know that they are loved and appreciated. I knew that there would be no hurt feelings, no sense of resentment. I am blessed, and so very thankful!!

A belated trip recap

Somehow I've managed to let almost a month go by and never posted about the first weekend in April. I travelled to VA for a trip I had been looking forward to for ages. Lisa had asked me if I would like to run the Cherry Blossom 10 Mile Race that coincides with the Cherry Blossom Festival that happens every April in Washington DC. We entered a raffle and our names were drawn and we were in for the race.

My friend Jess graciously provided me a place to stay. She wasn't kidding about living in the Boonies, I'm seriously amazed at how far away from everything the house was and so so so excited that they have moved back to civilization!! I arrived at her house Friday evening and enjoyed a fabulous dinner!! Saturday she drove me in to DC so that I could pick up my race packet. Fortunately I was able to give Lisa a quick hug while she was waiting in line for packet pick up. The pickup wrapped around the building, it was unlike anything I'd ever seen before. We did a quick catch up before I jumped back in the car with Jess. Saturday evening was low key; I had to be up super early. The chicken stir fry we had for dinner was amazing!!! I plan to try to make this as soon as life settles down and I get the recipe!!!

Sunday morning I was up at 4:10 so that I could leave by 4:30 in order to drive to the metro station to park to ride the train on in to the city. Everything went smoothly and at the Smithsonian station I met up with Becky and Lisa. It was such a wonderful experience to meet these ladies. I met Jess through Hailey and we first met in person May 2010. I don't remember how I found Becky's blog, I think it was through Jess's blog and through Becky's blog found Lisa and then when we met in person it was just an in person meet up of friends I felt I already knew so much yet so little about. If you are a blogger and you've met your blog friends in person then this statement will actually make sense!

The experience of running in the Nation's capital was surreal. The run itself, for me, not my favorite, at mile 6 I thought it was 7 and that was a tough realization. However, after that the next few miles did go pretty quickly. I felt sick by the end and was desperate for water and that was not easy to find. I was separated from Lisa and Becky and we texted and said that we would see each other at dinner that night.

I had to make my way back to the metro station, back to my car and then back to the house. Honestly I'm really proud of myself for navigating this on my own; in Charlotte we just drive everywhere. The rest of the day was lazy!! Dinner that night was so much fun, Jess and her daughter Cass, Lisa, Becky and I sat and talked and enjoyed fabulous food but more importantly the opportunity to hang out and laugh.

A quick trip to Target after dinner with Cass and Jess and I saw the CUTEST little girl's white dress, which I mentally filed. Jack Banner got a new stuffed frog. I had to be in bed early and I said my goodbyes to Jess, Chris, Cass Gabe and Livie that night. I woke up early and was on the road by 6 because I had a day off from work and A LOT to accomplish when I got home!! As I was working around my house the rest of that day I missed the sounds of having little people around. Jess will tell you her house is always loud and it is, and since I was only there for a weekend I know it's not the same for me but I loved the noise. I left and traveled back to my little condo and crazy busy life of work and work and Mr. Clean and family. I enjoyed my time, I enjoyed the noise, I was amazed by my friend who had a gazillion things going on and yet warmly welcomed me and chauffeured me around and fed me fabulous food!! She truly is my hero!!!

The little white dress we saw at Target that I mentally filed, I purchased. It's most likely going to be Baby Girl's flower girl dress.

Rest of the weekend and Monday

Saturday afternoon after I said good bye to Mr. Clean I had to get ready for work. MG and her boyfriend, Mr. Goodwrench arrived. They were going to a wedding and reception that was close to my house so I cleaned the extra room for them. We talked and I shared the proposal story, then I had to head out for work.

Saturday evening the patio was again crazy busy, the inside of the restaurant less so. My coworkers were all so excited for me. I was still processing. I'm thrilled, excited, ecstatic, so joyful and happy and the questions are at times overwhelming. Trying to make sure that I let everyone know and making sure that I notified family as soon as possible. My phone actually shorted out at one point on Saturday from overload. I was first out Saturday night and hoped to meet MG and Mr. Goodwrench out but all the excitement of the day, plus being up since 5:45 caught up with me and I ended up having to regretfully pass on meeting them out, MG totally understood and we knew we could catch up at brunch the following morning.

Sunday morning I did not go to church since I had out of town guests. Mr. Clean met us at my house and we went to brunch. Our original choice had actually closed so we opted to go to Vivace, it was amazing!!! Our server, he was fantastic!!! We sat at brunch for 3 hours just talking. After brunch MG and Mr. Goodwrench headed out for Ikea before driving home. Mr. Clean and I took advantage of being right at Trader Joes, which is located in the same area as the restaurant. The rest of the day was low key, we just hung out and talked about location and what we're thinking and what we will do and it was a good time to talk and share ideas. He scored Jack's eternal gratitude by giving him bites of roast while he was putting together the beef noodle stew.

This morning I arrived at work and told my friend/Coworker first about my news. Then I had to go tell my 2 underwriters. Then I told FRB. I explained that I know we haven't talked a whole lot but I wanted her to hear from me this news. She was very happy for me and hopefully it helps for less awkwardness. Apparently she never received my email response January 2010 that I sent and then resent, which I felt bad about, I did respond 2 times and she never got it. Word has made it's way around the office that I'm engaged and I'm once again receiving lots of questions. Everyone is so excited for me so it's more just curiosity and I'm thankful for everyone's interest and excitement, it's really appreciated!!

Comments on my post from Saturday have all made this even more special, y'all are awesome!! Thank you!!

Pot Meet Kettle

True friends call you out. I am still laughing at this exchange from this morning. Yesterday I sent MG the follow email:
" Hi, hope you’re having a good Wednesday!! So I cancelled on RR much to his dismay. I was looking at my house and all the stuff that is laying around and I need to get a run in and I just felt SO OVERWHELMED. So I texted RR and explained that I have to work Thursday and Friday night and I have company coming to town and I have a lot to get done and b/c I have to work the next 2 nights this is my only night to do it. He was sad but he understood. So I post poned. I’ll go out with him again but I just needed to get everything done and I didn’t think I would be able to enjoy tonight b/c of everything to do. I think I told you I sent JM a final email for my own sake. I sent it on November 21. When I checked email at lunch, I had one from him. “I really did feel the way I said it’s just the timing…” I call MAJOR BS and it just served to make me mad, don’t bother to respond after a week and a half. The truth is something else, he apologized for taking so long to respond and I’m thinking do you believe me to be an idiot I KNOW YOU HAVE A FLIPPING BB and you get messages in like 2 seconds. Whatever, I’m over it and moving on."

So this morning I had this response:
" Ok, you are officially not allowed to get mad at a guy for canceling plans/postponing at the last minute. I totally understand your reasoning, but it just goes to show how much goes on in people's lives that can interfere with their availability...things that have nothing to do with the other person. While it is pretty ridiculous that JM took so long to respond, if he really didn't feel anything, he wouldn't feel the need to respond at all. I'm glad you're moving on thought. There's no use dwelling on it. "

My response
" So you’re saying the 1st part of my email totally negated the 2nd :) HA I just realized it’s kind of the pot calling the kettle black as far as getting mad over change of plans/scheduling!!"

Her Response
" Hehe, yeah...it was just a funny little double standard, so neatly wrapped up in one email. :)"

I'm so glad she pointed it out, I totally didn't even think about it but she saw it and called me on it. While we both agree that it's time for me to move on I also have to be accountable for my own actions and how I treat others!

Friday, Saturday, Sunday

Friday night I worked at the restaurant. It was just right busy, 250, busy patio, full restaurant, lovely!! I was out just before 10. I went home and took Jack out and was in bed shortly after. Saturday morning I laid in bed and thought, I don't really have to do this 13.1. I could just quit training now and not do it. I really want to go back to sleep. I really don't want to go run this morning. But then I thought about how much training I've already done. I thought about how I already backed out of the 1/2 this past April and switched it over to a 10K. I thought about how I needed to suck it up and get myself out of bed and go do it. So I did. The weather was so gorgeous!! The first 9.5 miles I was just fine, it was easy and I took a walk break briefly for water at around 6 miles. But then the last couple miles, I struggled. If I'm honest I bring it on myself. My eating habits are appalling right now and I'm going to quit talking about it because if I'm not changing it then I have no one to blame but me and I need to either fix it or not say anything.
I did finish the run with 12 miles. Then I had to get back and shower and throw clothes on in about a 30-40 minute window because I had to be at the dealership at 11. I left for my run at 7:25, finished mile 12 at 9:45 and then walked home to arrive at 10, I wasn't sure what traffic would be like getting over there. It's not a far drive but traffic on Independence can be a little crazy. I was fine, got there in time and they did the transmission flush and oil change for me. When I start having to do this kind of maintenance for my car it makes me want a new one. I've told myself until I pay this one off I'm not allowed to get a new one. When I bought this one I was being bought out of a lease (dumb dumb dumb move on my part to have leased a car with as much as I drive but you live and learn) so anyways I need to pay off this car before I can get a new one.
It only took about an hour and 15 and then Miss K and I went to lunch at Cabo Fish Taco, YUMMY!!!! They have an El Cheapo margarita that is fantastic!! I'm sad, she told me Friday she wants to move to a bigger place so she's actively looking for a new residence. I knew all along I was most likely just a stop over place but I am sad to see her go!! She is staying in the same area so we'll still see each other and hang out, we've become friends and it's nice to have someone who will be close by who is fun to do stuff with. After lunch I resisted the call of the nap in order to clean the bathroom then I let myself take a nap. My friend NH and I had plans for the evening and I was so excited. She came over around 6:45 and we had a glass of wine. Then we headed over to Soul, it was phenomenal!!!! I was super impressed by the food. It's a tiny place so I'm glad the wait wasn't any longer then it was. After dinner we walked over to Whiskey Warehouse, slipped through the back at Thomas St to hang out on the patio for a while and then after a while there we decided to go to Jack's on 7th. As NH and I were walking to the car a group of 3 people was approaching us. The guy was saying hey wait y'all need to be headed this way, I looked at him and as recognition dawned on my face it dawned on his as well. Crazy Cokehead who I hadn't seen since 2006 happened to be out this particular evening. I couldn't get away from him fast enough. I react badly anytime anything related to him comes up, to the point of it almost being a panic attack. There is just something about him, something inherently evil. He's horrible. NH was trying to get the story out of me of who he was because my face lost all color and I was shaking. So on the way over I tried to explain that he was bad news and when we got to Jack's my sweet friend bought me a bourbon and ginger and my color came back and we started talking again. I knew I needed to get home to Jack Banner so we left there around 1:30 and NH drove me home. She lives less than 5 minutes from me and we never see each other, I plan to remedy this.
Sunday morning came much to early!! I dragged myself out of bed and made it to church just after 10. Then I made it through the service despite being tired. I had lunch plans with KH she was home with the boys but E napped the entire time I was there. I did get to see J, he's 1 1/2 and oh so cute!!! After lunch I needed a nap, I was so exhausted!! So the rest of Sunday was lazy, I did get a walk in with Jack and a load of laundry done so I wasn't completely unproductive.
I hope you all had a fabulous weekend!!!

Pictures from Saturday 8.28.10

Here's a shot of the hair

The reception was at the Mint Museum, it was SO beautiful!!

I think we may have gotten some funny looks when taking these shots.

This is the group that I used to work with

Me and VB

The beautiful bride with her former coworkers. She was so gorgeous and happy and this wedding was just too much fun!!!!

Girls Night Pictures

Heres the picture from our first Girl's night 7/9/10.


Out at Mez 7/17/10. I'm not a fan of this picture, I was distracted and forgot to fix my arm and it looks fat but the picture is still cute enough to post. I'm also not sure why I was bending my knees other than the fact that VB is petite and I was trying to make it easier to take the picture. Oh well, we had a fabulous time!

Girlfriends

This post has been rolling around in my head all day and I've been trying to figure out how to get all the words out and hopefully it makes some sense. Tomorrow S and I drive to Durham after he gets off work to help my friend MG celebrate her 30th birthday. It hit me today that 9 years ago this past Saturday I graduated from college. I was actually 1 hour of a PE short from graduating on time so I actually walked in May but didn't officially graduate until August 2001. That was a whirlwind weekend of family and saying good bye to friends. I will never ever forget that as I was coming off the stage after accepting my piece of paper the look on my Grandaddy's face. I saw him out of all those other faces and he was so proud of me, his first grandchild to graduate from college. He had paid for me to attend all 4 years and words will never explain how grateful I am for that gift. The following day was Mother's Day and we said goodbye to our family and then my parents and brother and I attended MFT's celebration lunch. After the lunch I watched her walk across the stage that day. I will never forget the fact that she didn't have time to stop at the ladies room and had had several glasses of Chianti. Her fear of tripping as she walked across the stage was overshadowed by the need to find the ladies room as soon as the ceremony was over. To this day I still remind her of this because MFT is usually so controlled and it still makes me laugh.
After her graduation ceremony my family and I drove back to Charlotte so I could unload some things and reload others. I would be subletting a room in an apartment that was right across the street from campus. My college roommate was in the birth thru kindergarten program and knew that MG & Jen were looking for people to sublet this room. THJ and I agreed to rent the room for the summer. She and I had lived together for 2 1/2 years at this point and she was a little tired of me (I was horribly inconsiderate as a roommate but what goes around comes around and I've paid my dues) so I was surprised she even wanted to continue living with me. She and I still worked at the bridal store and she had taken over making the schedule. Because I wasn't supposed to have stayed through the summer there weren't enough hours to around and since THJ was in charge I found my hours drastically cut. Fortunately I had money from graduation and my parents were paying the $100 or $150 a month rent, or something equally as inexpensive as that, I don't remember anymore what the actual cost was.
I moved into the room on that Monday after Mother's Day. I cleaned the bathroom and made my bed. I was excited and happy to be back in Boone for one more summer. MG turned 21, I think that Sunday I don't remember exactly. For her 21st birthday I bought her a bottle of champagne (or the sweet sparkling stuff that's a step up from a wine cooler that she and I still love) and Jen bought her a bottle of Captain Morgan that I purchased because Jen wasn't yet 21. She arrived home and we bonded over drinks, all 3 of us. THJ moved in a week later. We would buy bottles of wine based on the pretty labels and they decorated the kitchen until we had so many that we just started having to throw them away. We also quit buying bottles based on the pretty labels because we figured out this is actually a bad idea for finding good wine. MG and I talked a lot and I loved her. She would come to Charlotte on the weekends and party, she had made friends with the "in crowd" of uptown Charlotte. She knew bouncers and people and always dressed fabulously. These were the days of techno and X. In Boone things were more toned down, wine and beer. Our afternoons we would have wine and cheese followed by more wine and perhaps cosmos, it was 2001 and life was uncomplicated. MG and I went to Macadoo's one night and I convinced MG to share pitchers of beer with me. She to this point refused to drink beer and now she drinks more beers than I do. We ended the night with Cosmos on our back patio and she spilled her drink on her pajama pants while on the phone and she will still tell you this story and laugh at the ridulousness of us.
I moved back to Charlotte sooner than planned. The first summer semester ended and I completed my 1 hour PE requirement. THJ had written me off the schedule and I needed to find work. I left a good bye message on the dry erase board. THJ and I didn't really speak for a good 2 or 3 years. Now we're friends again and I'm a part of her life and we're even having lunch tomorrow but it took us a long time to move past the old hurts inflicted by one another.
MG and I made up more quickly. She moved to Charlotte the following May after she graduated. This would be the summer I will always remember. The late nights, the fabulous apartment uptown, the clothes, the "we're only going out for 1 drink tonight" followed by staying out til 2 or 3. I was experiencing the drama with RS the first time around and when I wasn't bogged down by that I was having fun and living life. She is my good time girl. It never fails, even when she comes back for just a weekend girls night I always have fun. She still knows people, Charlotte is small like that. They often times forget that she's ever moved away. She's fun and independent and in order to move away from the bad influences she chose Boston and Harvard and obtaining her Master's degree. She's finishing up her doctorate at Chapel Hill. I was thankful when she moved back to NC. I don't see her as often although I probably do see her as often as I would if she was still in Charlotte because of our crazy schedules. I'm excited to help her celebrate her 30th birthday tomorrow! Her official birthday was yesterday.
Of my 4 closest girls MG is the most recent. PMG and I were in nursery together, MFT and I met through CAR when we were 8 years old. PYS and I became friends in High School. From each of the different chapters of life I have a friend. I have more recent girls too but these 4 probably know me better than I know myself sometimes. I consider myself blessed. I have friends who are honest and tell it like it is and yet still accept me, quirks and craziness and all!

Friendship

Originally Posted December 11, 2007
I had a conversation the other night with my roommate from College. She was calling to check in; with our busy lives it's hard to keep up with each other. She's married and has a beautiful little girl and a full time teaching job, so busy would be an understatement. I just work a lot but I find myself crazy busy all the time too.
In the course of conversation I introduced the topic that I'm talking to a professional regarding the garbage from my past. Her words to me were "I'm glad you're finally dealing with all that". She told me about my sophomore year of college when apparently I wasn't eating much of anything. She would constantly raid my drawers to toss out the caffeine and diet pills that I had stashed. She knew that in order for someone to be helped they have to want help and at that point in time I could have cared less, I just wanted to be thin. I truly wonder if I would still be here if she hadn't been going thru my drawers. My motto thru college was to party and have a good time and who cared if I lived to see 30. Now that 30 is fast approaching it's startling to realize that I'm still around.
The conversation that she and I had made me thinks about how fortunate I am. I have been very blessed that I have friends who care. From college when they were finding ways to make me eat when I was drunk and throwing away the caffeine and diet pills. To the present where I've been honest enough to admit what's going on and I know that I'm being held accountable to truly work on dealing with this. I find this process intimidating but I hold to Phillipians 4:13.