I am so thankful for where I am right now. I find that the more time passes from moving in February the more I am able to appreciate. While I would not trade these past several years because they brought me to where I am today, I also would not wish what I've been through on my worst enemy.
I enjoyed my day off last Monday, I did nothing! Until Chair Fit and then I did go work out. Tuesday was my small group. Wednesday I went to see my counselor. Trying to regain the ground that I lost from the end of last year. I think I need to accept that at some point my conscious needs to just deal with the crazy, but eventually I'll get to where I need to be.
Thursday night Patrice went with me to the church in Concord. I said I was going to stay away but my counselor from the joint counseling stuff is teaching a session and I love her and I really wanted to be there. So I recruited my best friend as my personal security and went. It was awesome!!! We go again this Thursday night.
Friday night I had my meeting. Saturday I was up super early. I was at the Habitat House at 7 with my small group. We put shingles on a roof, that was a new and different and way way way out of my comfort zone experience!!!!
I met my friend Karen for dinner on Saturday evening and then I went from there and met my friend Christi and her husband Mike out to help celebrate Mike's birthday. This was a big group of friends and I had fun, it was another outside of my comfort zone experience but I'm glad I went!
Sunday I was at church and then I came home and waited on Mom. We went shopping and then I took Jack for a walk. I had to be really careful because it was in the 90's and I know he could get overheated so it wasn't a long walk just enough for him to burn some energy. Then I went to the gym to get some miles in on the treadmill. I have a race this Saturday and next Saturday so I'm trying to make sure to get miles in so I can hopefully run really strong races!!!
Yesterday I went to chair fit. This evening I am going to do a sleep study. Not excited about this but I realized that I feel tired most of the time and that is probably not normal.
I got an Iphone back in April... it has changed my life! I'm not being dramatic, I am so serious! I had a little LG flip phone with qwerty keyboard and I loved that phone for a long time but when it was time for my upgrade the iphone 4s was free so I went with it. I bought an otterbox case, which has already paid for itself since I've dropped my phone several times now.
I convinced my parents to go to a class with me at the Concord church. I wanted to go but I knew it was likely that D would be there so I figured out a way to still go. My mom keeps talking about going into his territory and I'm like, whatever. I want to go to the class. I would not be going if they hadn't agreed to go with me though.
In other news I have not gotten in trouble for my typing at work. Thank goodness for my phone, I now have email minus a keyboard.
I am contemplating color schemes for my condo for when I move back. I'm praying my tenants stay until December but I am definitely excited to move back!!!
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Monday, July 7, 2014
Catching Up
After the race, and after I had a few hours to calm down I went to the Faith Family and Freedom concert in concord. My friend Tiffany and her daughter K picked me up and we drove up and watched Hawk Nelson, For King and Country, Britt Nicole and Matthew West. Matt West performed in the rain and the amazing thing was no one left, everyone stayed and we all enjoyed an amazing, awe inspiring fire works show after the music.
I'm thankful for the memories. I'm thankful that I have the chance to do these fun things with my friends again. I did fun things while I was married but there was an inevitable waiting for the other shoe to drop. What was going to happen that would result in me being yelled at for not arriving home when I was "supposed to" or if D was with me what would happen to set him off and put him in a foul mood.
I've said this many times over since I left but you don't appreciate your family and friends until someone has tried to take it all away from you.
That Sunday I was up bright and early to go play golf with my friend Nicole. I have always wanted to learn and several guys that I dated had said that they would teach me but never did. So I found girls that know how to play and enlisted them to teach me.
We had a little trouble initially with the golf cart, when you turn the key, hit the gas, the cart will go, who knew? Not me!
Once we were moving we played 9 holes and while we were not by any means close to even bad, we had a really good time. We went to my favorite, Cabo Fish Taco, afterwards.
The Wednesday afterwards (6/25) I went back to see my counselor from last year. I realized that I needed to deal with myself. It is really overwhelming to process everything and while for the most part I am holding it all together really well the truth is part of how I deal with things is to revert back to unhealthy old habits and before I move out from my parents house I would like to get this under control again.
The following weekend I drove down to GA. I stopped at my friend Susan's house and visited with her and her family. Her sister Buffy was there when I first got there so I got to catch up with her. Susan has 2 girls who are 5 and 3 and they are adorable and I really enjoyed spending a few hours with them.
I dropped Susan off to meet up with friends and I drove on to my friend Vada's new townhome. She moved to GA last year and closed on this townhome a few weeks ago. It's beautiful and I'm so happy for her! Saturday she and her boyfriend Max took me out and gave me instructions on how to hit the golf ball and I spent a little while on the driving range before we moved on to play 9 holes of golf. This time I did much better than before, and I was so sore on Monday!!!
After the golf we went to the pool and then Vada had a cook out at her house that evening. Minus the trip to urgent care because Max seriously injured himself while chopping an onion we had a fantastic time!
Sunday morning I was up early and drove to Greer to visit my Margs and have lunch with her and Alex. The boys were with there grandparents so we had an uninterrupted mexican feast where we caught up for a little while.
I had my 2nd appointment with my counselor on Thursday before the 4th. What I realized is that I look at food as comfort. Doesn't matter that I know it's not healthy there are some very old very deeply ingrained habits that revolve around food and I need to deal with this. I left the session feeling overwhelmed so I went for a run in order to let those emotions play out in a healthier way.
Friday morning, barely because mom and I were supposed to leave at 9 but did not actually leave until 11, we drove down to the lake house. We had an amazing time with my aunts and uncles and my uncle M's parents. Uncle M fixed ribs on the grill along with corn, green beans and bread. We had quite the feast, I had a bite of mom's ribs but I was really good and kept it healthy with the veggies.
Back in April I gave up cookies, candy, brownies, cake, donuts, those kinds of sweets. It's been really challenging at times but I'm still doing this until April 8, 2015 so I enjoyed the fruit minus the angel food cake and whipped cream.
After everyone else left Mom and AMA and I went down to the lake and while my AMA floated on the huge raft Mom and I opted for noodles and we hung out in the water and talked. We went back and played Mexican Train until it was time for fireworks and we went back to the dock to watch the show which was all around us!
Saturday morning the weather was AMAZING!!!! I ran 4 miles, and it was fantastic!!! Then I showered and headed up to Cornelius to visit with my friend Christi and her girls. We hung out at the pool for a few hours and then I headed home to relax until I had nursery.
Nursery followed by dinner with Patrice and her little boy. We had a great evening!
Yesterday morning was church followed by lunch with my sponsor. I worked step 3, which means I now have 4 weeks to work step 4 and 5. Step 4 (made a searching and fearless moral inventory) I do on my own. Step 5 (admitted to God, ourselves and someone else the exact nature of our wrongs) I work with my sponsor. It's daunting and overwhelming and why I stalled out on working my steps for the past 2 years but I'm going to push through and get this done.
After lunch I went home and took a nap. Patrice and L came and picked me up and we drove down to Carolina Place where L played in the kids play area and then we took him to Monkey Joes. He had the BEST time!!! Once he was thoroughly exhausted we went to dinner and then hung out at my house for a while.
I took today off from work because the idea of a Monday back after a Holiday Friday held 0 appeal for me. So I've read, gave Jack a bath, cleaned bathrooms and eventually I will find the motivation to vacuum.
I've managed to book out my July, I'm going to quit saying that I need to lighten up my calendar. I just have to accept that I stay busy, and currently that is just not going to change.
I hope that everyone had a marvelous Holiday!!!
I'm thankful for the memories. I'm thankful that I have the chance to do these fun things with my friends again. I did fun things while I was married but there was an inevitable waiting for the other shoe to drop. What was going to happen that would result in me being yelled at for not arriving home when I was "supposed to" or if D was with me what would happen to set him off and put him in a foul mood.
I've said this many times over since I left but you don't appreciate your family and friends until someone has tried to take it all away from you.
That Sunday I was up bright and early to go play golf with my friend Nicole. I have always wanted to learn and several guys that I dated had said that they would teach me but never did. So I found girls that know how to play and enlisted them to teach me.
We had a little trouble initially with the golf cart, when you turn the key, hit the gas, the cart will go, who knew? Not me!
Once we were moving we played 9 holes and while we were not by any means close to even bad, we had a really good time. We went to my favorite, Cabo Fish Taco, afterwards.
The Wednesday afterwards (6/25) I went back to see my counselor from last year. I realized that I needed to deal with myself. It is really overwhelming to process everything and while for the most part I am holding it all together really well the truth is part of how I deal with things is to revert back to unhealthy old habits and before I move out from my parents house I would like to get this under control again.
The following weekend I drove down to GA. I stopped at my friend Susan's house and visited with her and her family. Her sister Buffy was there when I first got there so I got to catch up with her. Susan has 2 girls who are 5 and 3 and they are adorable and I really enjoyed spending a few hours with them.
I dropped Susan off to meet up with friends and I drove on to my friend Vada's new townhome. She moved to GA last year and closed on this townhome a few weeks ago. It's beautiful and I'm so happy for her! Saturday she and her boyfriend Max took me out and gave me instructions on how to hit the golf ball and I spent a little while on the driving range before we moved on to play 9 holes of golf. This time I did much better than before, and I was so sore on Monday!!!
After the golf we went to the pool and then Vada had a cook out at her house that evening. Minus the trip to urgent care because Max seriously injured himself while chopping an onion we had a fantastic time!
Sunday morning I was up early and drove to Greer to visit my Margs and have lunch with her and Alex. The boys were with there grandparents so we had an uninterrupted mexican feast where we caught up for a little while.
I had my 2nd appointment with my counselor on Thursday before the 4th. What I realized is that I look at food as comfort. Doesn't matter that I know it's not healthy there are some very old very deeply ingrained habits that revolve around food and I need to deal with this. I left the session feeling overwhelmed so I went for a run in order to let those emotions play out in a healthier way.
Friday morning, barely because mom and I were supposed to leave at 9 but did not actually leave until 11, we drove down to the lake house. We had an amazing time with my aunts and uncles and my uncle M's parents. Uncle M fixed ribs on the grill along with corn, green beans and bread. We had quite the feast, I had a bite of mom's ribs but I was really good and kept it healthy with the veggies.
Back in April I gave up cookies, candy, brownies, cake, donuts, those kinds of sweets. It's been really challenging at times but I'm still doing this until April 8, 2015 so I enjoyed the fruit minus the angel food cake and whipped cream.
After everyone else left Mom and AMA and I went down to the lake and while my AMA floated on the huge raft Mom and I opted for noodles and we hung out in the water and talked. We went back and played Mexican Train until it was time for fireworks and we went back to the dock to watch the show which was all around us!
Saturday morning the weather was AMAZING!!!! I ran 4 miles, and it was fantastic!!! Then I showered and headed up to Cornelius to visit with my friend Christi and her girls. We hung out at the pool for a few hours and then I headed home to relax until I had nursery.
Nursery followed by dinner with Patrice and her little boy. We had a great evening!
Yesterday morning was church followed by lunch with my sponsor. I worked step 3, which means I now have 4 weeks to work step 4 and 5. Step 4 (made a searching and fearless moral inventory) I do on my own. Step 5 (admitted to God, ourselves and someone else the exact nature of our wrongs) I work with my sponsor. It's daunting and overwhelming and why I stalled out on working my steps for the past 2 years but I'm going to push through and get this done.
After lunch I went home and took a nap. Patrice and L came and picked me up and we drove down to Carolina Place where L played in the kids play area and then we took him to Monkey Joes. He had the BEST time!!! Once he was thoroughly exhausted we went to dinner and then hung out at my house for a while.
I took today off from work because the idea of a Monday back after a Holiday Friday held 0 appeal for me. So I've read, gave Jack a bath, cleaned bathrooms and eventually I will find the motivation to vacuum.
I've managed to book out my July, I'm going to quit saying that I need to lighten up my calendar. I just have to accept that I stay busy, and currently that is just not going to change.
I hope that everyone had a marvelous Holiday!!!
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