If a Man Wants You
By: Salma Rumman (View Profile)
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn’t want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that’s not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then heck no, you can’t "be friends."
A friend wouldn’t mistreat a friend.
Don’t settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don’t stay because you think "it will get better." You’ll be mad at yourself
a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who’ve got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.
He didn’t marry them when he got them pregnant,
Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man’s behavior. Change comes from within.
Don’t EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has
more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else’s man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he’ll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you allow him to treat you.
All men are not dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about
baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
You should never look for someone to complete you. A relationship consists
of two whole individuals. Look for someone complimentary, not supplementary.
Dating is fun; even if he doesn’t turn out to be Mr. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always know where you are, and you’re
always readily available to him—he takes it for granted.
Don’t fully commit to a man who doesn’t give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Share this with other ladies.
You’ll make someone smile, another rethink her choices, and another woman prepare.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate
them, a day to love them, and an entire lifetime to forget them.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
On Paper
I had a succesfull application drop off at a restaurant where I used to work and I have an interview set for Tuesday. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that the job works out. On my way home I called the guy I'm seeing to fill him in on the news. In my opinion he was less than supportive telling me that I should try every option before getting a second job. I was too upset to verbalize the fact that I have tried every option. I used to hear a similar speach over and over again from an ex-boyfriend. He would constantly tell me that I should try and find one job that paid more and he never understood that with what I do finding one job that pays more is much easier said than done. It used to be a subject where he would get upset with me and I would just shut down. So yesterday afternoon I felt a certain sense of hopelessness when the conversation was over.
I had no idea that this would be the year that gas prices would jump to $4 a gallon. I had no idea my homeowners dues would increase. I was dismayed when my mortgage payment jumped by $150 a month b/c the mortgage company screwed up the tax escrow. In past times I've always fallen back on a second job and credit cards. I really don't have the credit limit to be able to fall back on and while I do have a job where I'm making more money than I've ever made before and I have a roommate I am still just not making ends meet. To me it's disconcerting to wake up each morning and know that I don't have enough money. I never have anything left over from paycheck to paycheck b/c I'm always behind.
Thoughts of last year for some reason led to thoughts of the little girl who played such a huge role in my life last year. As I began to think of different situations that had happened I replayed what I had done. I didn't always handle the situation as I should have. The day she pulled all her DVD's out of the boxes and I was on the phone. I think it was her 3 year old way of asking for attention. Because her mom and dad always treated her as so much older than 3 I think I forgot the fact that she was such a baby. There were good times too. Times when I know she had not doubt that she was very loved. As things got worse between her dad and I, I never realized what a hard time I was going to have letting go. I've gone thru my share of breakups, some worse than others, but you get through those. I was unprepared for the hole that walking away would cause in my life. While it's so much easier now then it was a year ago, it's still there.
I've moved on into a new relationship and it's nice. It's different. But the memories still linger, good and bad.
I had no idea that this would be the year that gas prices would jump to $4 a gallon. I had no idea my homeowners dues would increase. I was dismayed when my mortgage payment jumped by $150 a month b/c the mortgage company screwed up the tax escrow. In past times I've always fallen back on a second job and credit cards. I really don't have the credit limit to be able to fall back on and while I do have a job where I'm making more money than I've ever made before and I have a roommate I am still just not making ends meet. To me it's disconcerting to wake up each morning and know that I don't have enough money. I never have anything left over from paycheck to paycheck b/c I'm always behind.
Thoughts of last year for some reason led to thoughts of the little girl who played such a huge role in my life last year. As I began to think of different situations that had happened I replayed what I had done. I didn't always handle the situation as I should have. The day she pulled all her DVD's out of the boxes and I was on the phone. I think it was her 3 year old way of asking for attention. Because her mom and dad always treated her as so much older than 3 I think I forgot the fact that she was such a baby. There were good times too. Times when I know she had not doubt that she was very loved. As things got worse between her dad and I, I never realized what a hard time I was going to have letting go. I've gone thru my share of breakups, some worse than others, but you get through those. I was unprepared for the hole that walking away would cause in my life. While it's so much easier now then it was a year ago, it's still there.
I've moved on into a new relationship and it's nice. It's different. But the memories still linger, good and bad.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Rational
I've been battling my own thoughts recently. I've been dating a great guy for the past 4 months. I have to fight the screaming of my own desires to be married and eventually have children. I know that it is better to be single than married and miserable. I know that had things worked out differently a few times I could either be married or divorced.
The thoughts run from he thinks I'm fat, per my friend Paula I'm placing my own issues on him. Today the thoughts have been along the lines of "we're not on the same page".. I'm flipping out in my own head because he's scared of commitment. Now in fairness to him he's been married twice and cheated on both times and then some with previous girlfriends. So he has every right to be frightened of commitment However, I'm trying to keep my own crazy thoughts in check. The last thing I want to do is push him away because I'm being pushy and overbearing.
Probably I need to check myself back into therapy but on the long list of things driving me crazy is money. If I don't find another job to supplement my income then I'm going to go under. So that on top of the fact that I'm not losing weight and I can't control that as much as I want to. This whole jumble of thoughts is swirling around and making me less than rational.
The thoughts run from he thinks I'm fat, per my friend Paula I'm placing my own issues on him. Today the thoughts have been along the lines of "we're not on the same page".. I'm flipping out in my own head because he's scared of commitment. Now in fairness to him he's been married twice and cheated on both times and then some with previous girlfriends. So he has every right to be frightened of commitment However, I'm trying to keep my own crazy thoughts in check. The last thing I want to do is push him away because I'm being pushy and overbearing.
Probably I need to check myself back into therapy but on the long list of things driving me crazy is money. If I don't find another job to supplement my income then I'm going to go under. So that on top of the fact that I'm not losing weight and I can't control that as much as I want to. This whole jumble of thoughts is swirling around and making me less than rational.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Birth Certificate
Birth Certificates show that we were born *****
A Death Certificate shows that we died . Pictures show that we lived! Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.
I Believe... That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I Believe...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I Believe..That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe.... That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.
I Believe....That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe....That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe..That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever. I Believe...Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I Believe...That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything. !
A Death Certificate shows that we died . Pictures show that we lived! Have a seat . . . Relax . . . And read this slowly.
I Believe... That just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.
I Believe...That we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I Believe...That no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
I Believe...That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I Believe... That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I Believe...That it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I Believe..That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I Believe.... That you can keep going long after you think you can't.
I Believe...That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I Believe...That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I Believe...That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I Believe...That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I Believe...That my best friend and I, can do anything, or nothing and have the best time.
I Believe....That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I Believe...That sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.
I Believe....That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.
I Believe...That it isn't always enough, to be forgiven by others. Sometimes, you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I Believe..That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.
I Believe...That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I Believe...That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life Forever. I Believe...Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I Believe...That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.
I Believe...That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
I Believe...That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I Believe...That the people you care about most in life are taken from you too soon.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything. !
Monday, July 14, 2008
Seatbelts
I received an email from a high school friend of mine today. Attached was this news story
http://www.salisburypost.com/Area/071408-Fatality
I'm literally sick over this. I am unable to begin to image what Amy and the Kids must be feeling and I'm heartbroken for them.
http://www.salisburypost.com/Area/071408-Fatality
I'm literally sick over this. I am unable to begin to image what Amy and the Kids must be feeling and I'm heartbroken for them.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Judge Moore
Originally posted June 4, 2008
Some of you may be wondering what Judge Roy Moore has been doing since he was removed from the bench for refusing to remove the Ten Commandments from his courtroom wall.
The following is a poem written by Judge Roy Moore from Alabama . Judge Moore was sued by the ACLU for displaying the Ten Commandments in his courtroom foyer. He has been stripped of his judgeship and now they are trying to strip his right to practice law in Alabama ! The judge's poem sums it up quite well.
America the beautiful,or so you used to be.Land of the Pilgrims' pride;I'm glad they'll never see.Babies piled in dumpsters,Abortion on demand,Oh, sweet land of liberty;your house is on the sand.Our children wander aimlesslypoisoned by cocainechoosing to indulge their lusts,when God has said abstainFrom sea to shining sea,our Nation turns awayFrom the teaching of God's loveand a need to always prayWe've kept God in ourtemples,how callous we have grown.When earth is but His footstool,and Heaven is His throne.We've voted in a governmentthat's rotting at the core,Appointing Godless Judges;who throw reason out the door,Too soft to place a killerin a well deserved tomb,But brave enough to kill a babybefore he leaves the womb.You think that God's not angry,
that our land's a moral slum?How much longer will He waitbefore His judgment comes?How are we to face our God,from Whom we cannot hide?What then is left for us to do,but stem this evil tide?If we who are His children,will humbly turn and pray;Seek His holy faceand mend our evil way:Then God will hear from Heaven;and forgive us of our sins,He'll heal our sickly landand those who live within.But, America the Beautiful,If you don't - then you will see,A sad but Holy Godwithdraw His hand from Thee.~~Judge Roy Moore~~
This says it all. May we all forward this message and offer our prayers for Judge Moore to be blessed and for America to wake up and realize what we need to do to keep OUR America the Beautiful.Pass this on and let's lift Judge Moore up in Prayer. He has stood firm and needs our support.
IN GOD WE TRUST!
Some of you may be wondering what Judge Roy Moore has been doing since he was removed from the bench for refusing to remove the Ten Commandments from his courtroom wall.
The following is a poem written by Judge Roy Moore from Alabama . Judge Moore was sued by the ACLU for displaying the Ten Commandments in his courtroom foyer. He has been stripped of his judgeship and now they are trying to strip his right to practice law in Alabama ! The judge's poem sums it up quite well.
America the beautiful,or so you used to be.Land of the Pilgrims' pride;I'm glad they'll never see.Babies piled in dumpsters,Abortion on demand,Oh, sweet land of liberty;your house is on the sand.Our children wander aimlesslypoisoned by cocainechoosing to indulge their lusts,when God has said abstainFrom sea to shining sea,our Nation turns awayFrom the teaching of God's loveand a need to always prayWe've kept God in ourtemples,how callous we have grown.When earth is but His footstool,and Heaven is His throne.We've voted in a governmentthat's rotting at the core,Appointing Godless Judges;who throw reason out the door,Too soft to place a killerin a well deserved tomb,But brave enough to kill a babybefore he leaves the womb.You think that God's not angry,
that our land's a moral slum?How much longer will He waitbefore His judgment comes?How are we to face our God,from Whom we cannot hide?What then is left for us to do,but stem this evil tide?If we who are His children,will humbly turn and pray;Seek His holy faceand mend our evil way:Then God will hear from Heaven;and forgive us of our sins,He'll heal our sickly landand those who live within.But, America the Beautiful,If you don't - then you will see,A sad but Holy Godwithdraw His hand from Thee.~~Judge Roy Moore~~
This says it all. May we all forward this message and offer our prayers for Judge Moore to be blessed and for America to wake up and realize what we need to do to keep OUR America the Beautiful.Pass this on and let's lift Judge Moore up in Prayer. He has stood firm and needs our support.
IN GOD WE TRUST!
Email I received
Originally posted May 28, 2008
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.My confession:I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are,but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.Are you laughing?Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards.Honestly and respectfully,Ben Stein
The following was written by Ben Stein and recited by him on CBS Sunday Morning Commentary.My confession:I am a Jew, and every single one of my ancestors was Jewish. And it does not bother me even a little bit when people call those beautiful lit up, bejeweled trees Christmas trees. I don't feel threatened. I don't feel discriminated against. That's what they are: Christmas trees.It doesn't bother me a bit when people say, 'Merry Christmas' to me. I don't think they are slighting me or getting ready to put me in a ghetto. In fact, I kind of like it. It shows that we are all brothers and sisters celebrating this happy time of year. It doesn't bother me at all that there is a manger scene on display at a key intersection near my beach house in Malibu. If people want a crèche, it's just as fine with me as is the Menorah a few hundred yards away.I don't like getting pushed around for being a Jew, and I don't think Christians like getting pushed around for being Christians. I think people who believe in God are sick and tired of getting pushed around, period. I have no idea where the concept came from that America is an explicitly atheist country. I can't find it in the Constitution and I don't like it being shoved down my throat.Or maybe I can put it another way: where did the idea come from that we should worship Nick and Jessica and we aren't allowed to worship God as we understand Him? I guess that's a sign that I'm getting old, too. But there are a lot of us who are wondering where Nick and Jessica came from and where the America we knew went to.In light of the many jokes we send to one another for a laugh, this is a little different: This is not intended to be a joke; it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking.Billy Graham's daughter was interviewed on the Early Show and Jane Clayson asked her 'How could God let something like this happen?' (regarding Katrina) Anne Graham gave an extremely profound and insightful response. She said, 'I believe God is deeply saddened by this, just as we are,but for years we've been telling God to get out of our schools, to get out of our government and to get out of our lives. And being the gentleman He is, I believe He has calmly backed out. How can we expect God to give us His blessing and His protection if we demand He leave us alone?'In light of recent events...terrorists attack, school shootings, etc. I think it started when Madeleine Murray O'Hare (she was murdered, her body found recently) complained she didn't want prayer in our schools, and we said OK.Then someone said you better not read the Bible in school. The Bible says thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and love your neighbor as yourself. And we said OK.Then Dr. Benjamin Spock said we shouldn't spank our children when they misbehave because their little personalities would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem (Dr. Spock's son committed suicide). We said an expert should know what he's talking about. And we said OK.Now we're asking ourselves why our children have no conscience, why they don't know right from wrong, and why it doesn't bother them to kill strangers, their classmates, and themselves.Probably, if we think about it long and hard enough, we can figure it out. I think it has a great deal to do with 'WE REAP WHAT WE SOW.'Funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell. Funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says. Funny how you can send 'jokes' through e-mail and they spread like wildfire but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing. Funny how lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene articles pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion of God is suppressed in the school and workplace.Are you laughing?Funny how when you forward this message, you will not send it to many on your address list because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for sending it.Funny how we can be more worried about what other people think of us than what God thinks of us.Pass it on if you think it has merit. If not then just discard it... no one will know you did. But, if you discard this thought process, don't sit back and complain about what bad shape the world is in. My Best Regards.Honestly and respectfully,Ben Stein
Price of Gas
Originally posted May 22, 2008
I pulled this article from MSN. I've been fretting the cost of gas but this does kind of put a perspective on it.
Gasoline Is CheapFour dollars a gallon is outrageous! We should be paying much more.
By Robert BrycePosted Thursday, May 15, 2008, at 3:24 PM ET
The next time you have to take out a loan just to fill up your tank, remember this: Four-dollar-per-gallon gasoline is cheap.
There's no doubt that high fuel prices are hurting low-income consumers, and high energy costs are placing a tax on the economy that is slowing investment while sending billions of dollars overseas. It's unsurprising that presidential candidates and members of Congress issue new proposals practically every day to lower gas prices: Stop filling the Strategic Petroleum Reserve! Suspend the federal gas tax! Open ANWR to oil drilling!
These proposals are delusions, and Americans are living in a fantasy land when it comes to energy and energy prices. Over the past few years, consumers have been inundated with news stories about the soaring price of gasoline. Invariably, these stories include comments from a motorist who is outraged at the evils of a) Saudi Arabia, b) OPEC, c) Big Oil, d) all of the above.
But by almost any measure, gasoline is still cheap. In fact, it has probably been far too cheap for far too long. The recent price increases are only beginning to reflect its real value.
When measured on an inflation-adjusted basis, the current price of gasoline is only slightly higher than it was in 1922. According to the Energy Information Administration, in 1922, gasoline cost the current-day equivalent of $3.11. Today, according to the EIA, gasoline is selling for about $3.77 per gallon, only about 20 percent more than 86 years ago.
Given the ever-increasing global demand for oil products—during the first quarter of this year, China's oil consumption jumped by 16.5 percent—and the increasing costs associated with finding, producing, and refining crude oil, it makes sense that today's motorists are paying more for their motor fuel than their grandparents and great-grandparents did.
Gasoline is also a fairly minor expense when you consider the overall cost of car ownership. In 1975, gasoline made up 33.4 percent of the total cost of owning and operating a car. By 2006, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, gasoline costs had declined to just 17.1 percent of the total cost of car ownership. Of course, fuel costs have risen by about $1 per gallon since 2006, but even with those increases, fuel continues to be a relatively small part of the cost of car ownership. By contrast, the fixed costs of ownership—insurance, licensing, taxes, and financing—have increased nearly fivefold since 1975. Maintenance costs have also quintupled over the same time period. Given those increases and the relatively low price of fuel, it's not surprising that Americans are opting for big vehicles with powerful engines. Considering the overall cost of owning a vehicle, fuel expenses just aren't a very big deal.
History shows that significant declines in U.S. oil consumption occur only after prolonged periods of high prices. Over the last two decades, U.S. consumers have been spoiled by low fuel prices. And those lower prices led to a buying binge that put millions of giant SUVs, pickups, and other gas guzzlers on our roads. Today's higher prices are forcing consumers to adapt. The EIA now expects U.S. gasoline consumption to decline this year—the first drop in demand in 17 years. In April, sales of small cars in the United States were up by 17 percent over the same period a year earlier while sales of SUVs, trucks, and large cars all fell by about 30 percent.
On the environmental front, people concerned about greenhouse-gas emissions should be cheering today's oil prices. Expensive motor fuel is the only thing that will lead consumers to use less oil and make the switch to hybrid vehicles, smaller cars, and public transit. Higher oil prices are convincing automakers to change their fleets. Earlier this week, Nissan Motor Company announced that it will begin selling an electric car in the United States and Japan by 2010. Carlos Ghosn, the chief executive of Nissan, made it clear that fuel prices were a factor in the company's decision to build electric cars, telling the New York Times that "the shifts coming from the markets are more powerful than what regulators are doing."
American gasoline is also dirt-cheap compared with gas in other countries. British motorists are currently paying about $8.38 per gallon for gasoline. In Norway, a major oil exporter, drivers are paying $8.73. In 2007, out of the 32 industrialized countries surveyed by the International Energy Agency, only one (Mexico) had cheaper gasoline than the United States. Last year, drivers in Turkey were paying three times as much for their gasoline as Americans were. The IEA data also show that in India—where the per capita gross domestic product is about $2,700 (about 6 percent of the per capita GDP in the United States)—drivers have been paying more for their diesel fuel and gasoline than their American counterparts.
(Gasoline is also cheap compared with other essential fuels. A Starbucks venti latte costs the equivalent of $23 per gallon, while Budweiser beer runs $11 per gallon.)
The simple truth is that Americans are going to have to get used to more expensive gasoline. And while they may continue grumbling at the pump, they need to accept the fact that even at $3.50 or $4 per gallon, the fuel they are buying is still a bargain.
I pulled this article from MSN. I've been fretting the cost of gas but this does kind of put a perspective on it.
Gasoline Is CheapFour dollars a gallon is outrageous! We should be paying much more.
By Robert BrycePosted Thursday, May 15, 2008, at 3:24 PM ET
The next time you have to take out a loan just to fill up your tank, remember this: Four-dollar-per-gallon gasoline is cheap.
There's no doubt that high fuel prices are hurting low-income consumers, and high energy costs are placing a tax on the economy that is slowing investment while sending billions of dollars overseas. It's unsurprising that presidential candidates and members of Congress issue new proposals practically every day to lower gas prices: Stop filling the Strategic Petroleum Reserve! Suspend the federal gas tax! Open ANWR to oil drilling!
These proposals are delusions, and Americans are living in a fantasy land when it comes to energy and energy prices. Over the past few years, consumers have been inundated with news stories about the soaring price of gasoline. Invariably, these stories include comments from a motorist who is outraged at the evils of a) Saudi Arabia, b) OPEC, c) Big Oil, d) all of the above.
But by almost any measure, gasoline is still cheap. In fact, it has probably been far too cheap for far too long. The recent price increases are only beginning to reflect its real value.
When measured on an inflation-adjusted basis, the current price of gasoline is only slightly higher than it was in 1922. According to the Energy Information Administration, in 1922, gasoline cost the current-day equivalent of $3.11. Today, according to the EIA, gasoline is selling for about $3.77 per gallon, only about 20 percent more than 86 years ago.
Given the ever-increasing global demand for oil products—during the first quarter of this year, China's oil consumption jumped by 16.5 percent—and the increasing costs associated with finding, producing, and refining crude oil, it makes sense that today's motorists are paying more for their motor fuel than their grandparents and great-grandparents did.
Gasoline is also a fairly minor expense when you consider the overall cost of car ownership. In 1975, gasoline made up 33.4 percent of the total cost of owning and operating a car. By 2006, according to the Bureau of Transportation Statistics, gasoline costs had declined to just 17.1 percent of the total cost of car ownership. Of course, fuel costs have risen by about $1 per gallon since 2006, but even with those increases, fuel continues to be a relatively small part of the cost of car ownership. By contrast, the fixed costs of ownership—insurance, licensing, taxes, and financing—have increased nearly fivefold since 1975. Maintenance costs have also quintupled over the same time period. Given those increases and the relatively low price of fuel, it's not surprising that Americans are opting for big vehicles with powerful engines. Considering the overall cost of owning a vehicle, fuel expenses just aren't a very big deal.
History shows that significant declines in U.S. oil consumption occur only after prolonged periods of high prices. Over the last two decades, U.S. consumers have been spoiled by low fuel prices. And those lower prices led to a buying binge that put millions of giant SUVs, pickups, and other gas guzzlers on our roads. Today's higher prices are forcing consumers to adapt. The EIA now expects U.S. gasoline consumption to decline this year—the first drop in demand in 17 years. In April, sales of small cars in the United States were up by 17 percent over the same period a year earlier while sales of SUVs, trucks, and large cars all fell by about 30 percent.
On the environmental front, people concerned about greenhouse-gas emissions should be cheering today's oil prices. Expensive motor fuel is the only thing that will lead consumers to use less oil and make the switch to hybrid vehicles, smaller cars, and public transit. Higher oil prices are convincing automakers to change their fleets. Earlier this week, Nissan Motor Company announced that it will begin selling an electric car in the United States and Japan by 2010. Carlos Ghosn, the chief executive of Nissan, made it clear that fuel prices were a factor in the company's decision to build electric cars, telling the New York Times that "the shifts coming from the markets are more powerful than what regulators are doing."
American gasoline is also dirt-cheap compared with gas in other countries. British motorists are currently paying about $8.38 per gallon for gasoline. In Norway, a major oil exporter, drivers are paying $8.73. In 2007, out of the 32 industrialized countries surveyed by the International Energy Agency, only one (Mexico) had cheaper gasoline than the United States. Last year, drivers in Turkey were paying three times as much for their gasoline as Americans were. The IEA data also show that in India—where the per capita gross domestic product is about $2,700 (about 6 percent of the per capita GDP in the United States)—drivers have been paying more for their diesel fuel and gasoline than their American counterparts.
(Gasoline is also cheap compared with other essential fuels. A Starbucks venti latte costs the equivalent of $23 per gallon, while Budweiser beer runs $11 per gallon.)
The simple truth is that Americans are going to have to get used to more expensive gasoline. And while they may continue grumbling at the pump, they need to accept the fact that even at $3.50 or $4 per gallon, the fuel they are buying is still a bargain.
Hairbrush Story
Originally posted May 15, 2008
I really love this story, my Mom was the first to tell it to me, she heard it on a women's retreat. It was just emailed to me and I'm sharing.
For those of you who do not know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible studies, and is a married mother of two daughters. This is one of her experiences: April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville , waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise . Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego. I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man. I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere ? There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man. I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. 'Oh, no, God, please, no.' I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, 'Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!' There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, 'Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane.' Then I heard it...'I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.' The words were so clear, my heart leap into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainier. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, 'God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man' Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. 'That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.' I looked up at God and quipped, 'I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?' God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: 'I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.' (2 Timothy 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, 'Sir, May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' He looked back at me and said, 'What did you say?' 'May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' To which he responded in volume ten, 'Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.' At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out , 'SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?' At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, 'If you really want to.' Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, 'Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush.' 'I have one in my bag,' he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure t hat I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees and said, 'Sir, do you know my Jesus?' He said, 'Yes, I do.' Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, 'I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior.' He said, 'You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.' Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.??Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, 'That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?' I said, 'Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!' And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need! I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way . . all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me. John 1:14 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth' Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting, 'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!' Please share this wonderful story.
I really love this story, my Mom was the first to tell it to me, she heard it on a women's retreat. It was just emailed to me and I'm sharing.
For those of you who do not know Beth Moore, she is an outstanding Bible teacher, writer of Bible studies, and is a married mother of two daughters. This is one of her experiences: April 20, 2005, at the Airport in Knoxville , waiting to board the plane, I had the Bible on my lap and was very intent upon what I was doing. I'd had a marvelous morning with the Lord. I say this because I want to tell you it is a scary thing to have the Spirit of God really working in you. You could end up doing some things you never would have done otherwise . Life in the Spirit can be dangerous for a thousand reasons not the least of which is your ego. I tried to keep from staring, but he was such a strange sight. Humped over in a wheelchair, he was skin and bones, dressed in clothes that obviously fit when he was at least twenty pounds heavier His knees protruded from his trousers, and his shoulders looked like the coat hanger was still in his shirt. His hands looked like tangled masses of veins and bones. The strangest part of him was his hair and nails. Stringy, gray hair hung well over his shoulders and down part of his back. His fingernails were long, clean but strangely out of place on an old man. I looked down at my Bible as fast as I could, discomfort burning my face. As I tried to imagine what his story might have been, I found myself wondering if I'd just had a Howard Hughes sighting. Then, I remembered that he was dead. So this man in the airport... an impersonator maybe? Was a camera on us somewhere ? There I sat; trying to concentrate on the Word to keep from being concerned about a thin slice of humanity served up on a wheelchair only a few seats from me. All the while, my heart was growing more and more overwhelmed with a feeling for him. Let's admit it. Curiosity is a heap more comfortable than true concern, and suddenly I was awash with aching emotion for this bizarre-looking old man. I had walked with God long enough to see the handwriting on the wall. I've learned that when I begin to feel what God feels, something so contrary to my natural feelings, something dramatic is bound to happen. And it may be embarrassing. I immediately began to resist because I could feel God working on my spirit and I started arguing with God in my mind. 'Oh, no, God, please, no.' I looked up at the ceiling as if I could stare straight through it into heaven and said, 'Don't make me witness to this man. Not right here and now. Please. I'll do anything. Put me on the same plane, but don't make me get up here and witness to this man in front of this gawking audience. Please, Lord!' There I sat in the blue vinyl chair begging His Highness, 'Please don't make me witness to this man. Not now. I'll do it on the plane.' Then I heard it...'I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to brush his hair.' The words were so clear, my heart leap into my throat, and my thoughts spun like a top. Do I witness to the man or brush his hair? No-brainier. I looked straight back up at the ceiling and said, 'God, as I live and breathe, I want you to know I am ready to witness to this man. I'm on this Lord. I'm your girl! You've never seen a woman witness to a man faster in your life. What difference does it make if his hair is a mess if he is not redeemed? I am going to witness to this man' Again as clearly as I've ever heard an audible word, God seemed to write this statement across the wall of my mind. 'That is not what I said, Beth. I don't want you to witness to him. I want you to go brush his hair.' I looked up at God and quipped, 'I don't have a hairbrush. It's in my suitcase on the plane. How am I supposed to brush his hair without a hairbrush?' God was so insistent that I almost involuntarily began to walk toward him as these thoughts came to me from God's word: 'I will thoroughly furnish you unto all good works.' (2 Timothy 3:17) I stumbled over to the wheelchair thinking I could use one myself. Even as I retell this story, my pulse quickens and I feel those same butterflies. I knelt down in front of the man and asked as demurely as possible, 'Sir, May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' He looked back at me and said, 'What did you say?' 'May I have the pleasure of brushing your hair?' To which he responded in volume ten, 'Little lady, if you expect me to hear you, you're going to have to talk louder than that.' At this point, I took a deep breath and blurted out , 'SIR, MAY I HAVE THE PLEASURE OF BRUSHING YOUR HAIR?' At which point every eye in the place darted right at me. I was the only thing in the room looking more peculiar than old Mr. Long Locks. Face crimson and forehead breaking out in a sweat, I watched him look up at me with absolute shock on his face, and say, 'If you really want to.' Are you kidding? Of course I didn't want to. But God didn't seem interested in my personal preference right about then. He pressed on my heart until I could utter the words, 'Yes, sir, I would be pleased. But I have one little problem. I don't have a hairbrush.' 'I have one in my bag,' he responded. I went around to the back of that wheelchair, and I got on my hands and knees and unzipped the stranger's old carry-on, hardly believing what I was doing. I stood up and started brushing the old man's hair. It was perfectly clean, but it was tangled and matted. I don't do many things well, but must admit I've had notable experience untangling knotted hair mothering two little girls. Like I'd done with either Amanda or Melissa in such a condition, I began brushing at the very bottom of the strands, remembering to take my time not to pull. A miraculous thing happened to me as I started brushing that old man's hair. Everybody else in the room disappeared. There was no one alive for those moments except that old man and me. I brushed and I brushed and I brushed until every tangle was out of that hair. I know this sounds so strange, but I've never felt that kind of love for another soul in my entire life. I believe with all my heart, I - for that few minutes - felt a portion of the very love of God. That He had overtaken my heart for a little while like someone renting a room and making Himself at home for a short while. The emotions were so strong and so pure t hat I knew they had to be God's. His hair was finally as soft and smooth as an infant's. I slipped the brush back in the bag and went around the chair to face him. I got back down on my knees, put my hands on his knees and said, 'Sir, do you know my Jesus?' He said, 'Yes, I do.' Well, that figures, I thought. He explained, 'I've known Him since I married my bride. She wouldn't marry me until I got to know the Savior.' He said, 'You see, the problem is, I haven't seen my bride in months. I've had open-heart surgery, and she's been too ill to come see me. I was sitting here thinking to myself, what a mess I must be for my bride.' Only God knows how often He allows us to be part of a divine moment when we're completely unaware of the significance. This, on the other hand, was one of those rare encounters when I knew God had intervened in details only He could have known. It was a God moment, and I'll never forget it.??Our time came to board, and we were not on the same plane. I was deeply ashamed of how I'd acted earlier and would have been so proud to have accompanied him on that aircraft. I still had a few minutes, and as I gathered my things to board, the airline hostess returned from the corridor, tears streaming down her cheeks. She said, 'That old man's sitting on the plane, sobbing. Why did you do that? What made you do that?' I said, 'Do you know Jesus? He can be the bossiest thing!' And we got to share. I learned something about God that day. He knows if you're exhausted, you're hungry, you're serving in the wrong place or it is time to move on but you feel too responsible to budge. He knows if you're hurting or feeling rejected. He knows if you're sick or drowning under a wave of temptation. Or He knows if you just need your hair brushed. He sees you as an individual. Tell Him your need! I got on my own flight, sobs choking my throat, wondering how many opportunities just like that one had I missed along the way . . all because I didn't want people to think I was strange. God didn't send me to that old man. He sent that old man to me. John 1:14 'The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth' Life shouldn't be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather, to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly shouting, 'Wow! What a ride! Thank You, Lord!' Please share this wonderful story.
Getting to know John McCain
Getting to Know John McCain By KARL ROVE April 30, 2008
It came to me while I was having dinner with Doris Day. No, not that Doris Day. The Doris Day who is married to Col. Bud Day, Congressional Medal of Honor recipient, fighter pilot, Vietnam POW and roommate of John McCain at the Hanoi Hilton. As we ate near the Days' home in Florida recently, I heard things about Sen. McCain that were deeply moving and politically troubling. Moving because they told me things about him the American people need to know. And troubling because it is clear that Mr. McCain is one of the most private individuals to run for president in history. When it comes to choosing a president, the American people want to know more about a candidate than policy positions. They want to know about character, the values ingrained in his heart. For Mr. McCain, that means they will want to know more about him personally than he has been willing to reveal. Mr. Day relayed to me one of the stories Americans should hear. It involves what happened to him after escaping from a North Vietnamese prison during the war. When he was recaptured, a Vietnamese captor broke his arm and said, "I told you I would make you a cripple." The break was designed to shatter Mr. Day's will. He had survived in prison on the hope that one day he would return to the United States and be able to fly again. To kill that hope, the Vietnamese left part of a bone sticking out of his arm, and put him in a misshapen cast. This was done so that the arm would heal at "a goofy angle," as Mr. Day explained. Had it done so, he never would have flown again. But it didn't heal that way because of John McCain. Risking severe punishment, Messrs. McCain and Day collected pieces of bamboo in the prison courtyard to use as a splint. Mr. McCain put Mr. Day on the floor of their cell and, using his foot, jerked the broken bone into place. Then, using strips from the bandage on his own wounded leg and the bamboo, he put Mr. Day's splint in place. Years later, Air Force surgeons examined Mr. Day and complimented the treatment he'd gotten from his captors. Mr. Day corrected them. It was Dr. McCain who deserved the credit. Mr. Day went on to fly again. Another story I heard over dinner with the Days involved Mr. McCain serving as one of the three chaplains for his fellow prisoners. At one point, after being shuttled among different prisons, Mr. Day had found himself as the most senior officer at the Hanoi Hilton. So he tapped Mr. McCain to help administer religious services to the other prisoners. Today , Mr. Day, a very active 83, still vividly recalls Mr. McCain's sermons. "He remembered the Episcopal liturgy," Mr. Day says, "and sounded like a bona fide preacher." One of Mr. McCain's first sermons took as its text Luke 20:25 and Matthew 22:21, "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's." Mr. McCain said he and his fellow prisoners shouldn't ask God to free them, but to help them become the best people they could be while serving as POWs. It was Caesar who put them in prison and Caesar who would get them out. Their task was to act with honor. Another McCain story, somewhat better known, is about the Vietnamese practice of torturing him by tying his head between his ankles with his arms behind him, and then leaving him for hours. The torture so badly busted up his shoulders that to this day Mr. McCain can't raise his arms over his head. One night, a Vietnamese guard loosened his bonds, returning at the end of his watch to tighten them again so no one would notice. Shortly after, on Christmas Day, the same guard stood beside Mr. McCain in the prison yard and drew a cross in the sand before erasing it. Mr. McCain later said that when he returned to Vietnam for the first time after the war, the only person he really wanted to meet was that guard. Mr. Day recalls with pride Mr. McCain stubbornly refusing to accept special treatment or curry favor to be released early, even when gravely ill. Mr. McCain knew the Vietnamese wanted the propaganda victory of the son and grandson of Navy admirals accepting special treatment. "He wasn't corruptible then," Mr. Day says, "and he's not corruptible today." The stories told to me by the Days involve more than wartime valor. For example, in 1991 Cindy McCain was visiting Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh when a dying infant was thrust into her hands. The orphanage could not provide the medical care needed to save her life, so Mrs. McCain brought the e child home to America with her. She was met at the airport by her husband, who asked what all this was about. Mrs. McCain replied that the child desperately needed surgery and years of rehabilitation. "I hope she can stay with us," she told her husband. Mr. McCain agreed. Today that child is their teenage daughter Bridget. I was aware of this story. What I did not know, and what I learned from Doris, is that there was a second infant Mrs. McCain brought back. She ended up being adopted by a young McCain aide and his wife. "We were called at midnight by Cindy," Wes Gullett remembers, and "five days later we met our new daughter Nicki at the L.A. airport wearing the only clothing Cindy could find on the trip back, a 7-Up T-shirt she bought in the Bangkok airport." Today, Nicki is a high school sophomore. Mr. Gullett told me, "I never saw a hospital bill" for her care. A few, but not many, of the stories told to me by the Days have been written about, such as in Robert Timberg's 1996 book "A Nightingale's Song." But Mr. McCain rarely refers to them on the campaign trail. There is something admirable in his reticence, but he needs to overcome it. Private people like Mr. McCain are rare in politics for a reason. Candidates who are uncomfortable sharing their interior lives limit their appeal. But if Mr. McCain is to win the election this fall, he has to open up. Americans need to know about his vision for the nation's future, especially his policy positions and domestic reforms. They also need to learn about the moments in his life that shaped him. Mr. McCain cannot make this a biography-only campaign - but he can't afford to make it a biography-free campaign either. Unless he opens up more, many voters will never know the experiences of his life that show his character, integrity and essential decency. These qualities mattered in America's first president and will matter as Americans decide on their 44th president.
It came to me while I was having dinner with Doris Day. No, not that Doris Day. The Doris Day who is married to Col. Bud Day, Congressional Medal of Honor recipient, fighter pilot, Vietnam POW and roommate of John McCain at the Hanoi Hilton. As we ate near the Days' home in Florida recently, I heard things about Sen. McCain that were deeply moving and politically troubling. Moving because they told me things about him the American people need to know. And troubling because it is clear that Mr. McCain is one of the most private individuals to run for president in history. When it comes to choosing a president, the American people want to know more about a candidate than policy positions. They want to know about character, the values ingrained in his heart. For Mr. McCain, that means they will want to know more about him personally than he has been willing to reveal. Mr. Day relayed to me one of the stories Americans should hear. It involves what happened to him after escaping from a North Vietnamese prison during the war. When he was recaptured, a Vietnamese captor broke his arm and said, "I told you I would make you a cripple." The break was designed to shatter Mr. Day's will. He had survived in prison on the hope that one day he would return to the United States and be able to fly again. To kill that hope, the Vietnamese left part of a bone sticking out of his arm, and put him in a misshapen cast. This was done so that the arm would heal at "a goofy angle," as Mr. Day explained. Had it done so, he never would have flown again. But it didn't heal that way because of John McCain. Risking severe punishment, Messrs. McCain and Day collected pieces of bamboo in the prison courtyard to use as a splint. Mr. McCain put Mr. Day on the floor of their cell and, using his foot, jerked the broken bone into place. Then, using strips from the bandage on his own wounded leg and the bamboo, he put Mr. Day's splint in place. Years later, Air Force surgeons examined Mr. Day and complimented the treatment he'd gotten from his captors. Mr. Day corrected them. It was Dr. McCain who deserved the credit. Mr. Day went on to fly again. Another story I heard over dinner with the Days involved Mr. McCain serving as one of the three chaplains for his fellow prisoners. At one point, after being shuttled among different prisons, Mr. Day had found himself as the most senior officer at the Hanoi Hilton. So he tapped Mr. McCain to help administer religious services to the other prisoners. Today , Mr. Day, a very active 83, still vividly recalls Mr. McCain's sermons. "He remembered the Episcopal liturgy," Mr. Day says, "and sounded like a bona fide preacher." One of Mr. McCain's first sermons took as its text Luke 20:25 and Matthew 22:21, "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's and unto God what is God's." Mr. McCain said he and his fellow prisoners shouldn't ask God to free them, but to help them become the best people they could be while serving as POWs. It was Caesar who put them in prison and Caesar who would get them out. Their task was to act with honor. Another McCain story, somewhat better known, is about the Vietnamese practice of torturing him by tying his head between his ankles with his arms behind him, and then leaving him for hours. The torture so badly busted up his shoulders that to this day Mr. McCain can't raise his arms over his head. One night, a Vietnamese guard loosened his bonds, returning at the end of his watch to tighten them again so no one would notice. Shortly after, on Christmas Day, the same guard stood beside Mr. McCain in the prison yard and drew a cross in the sand before erasing it. Mr. McCain later said that when he returned to Vietnam for the first time after the war, the only person he really wanted to meet was that guard. Mr. Day recalls with pride Mr. McCain stubbornly refusing to accept special treatment or curry favor to be released early, even when gravely ill. Mr. McCain knew the Vietnamese wanted the propaganda victory of the son and grandson of Navy admirals accepting special treatment. "He wasn't corruptible then," Mr. Day says, "and he's not corruptible today." The stories told to me by the Days involve more than wartime valor. For example, in 1991 Cindy McCain was visiting Mother Teresa's orphanage in Bangladesh when a dying infant was thrust into her hands. The orphanage could not provide the medical care needed to save her life, so Mrs. McCain brought the e child home to America with her. She was met at the airport by her husband, who asked what all this was about. Mrs. McCain replied that the child desperately needed surgery and years of rehabilitation. "I hope she can stay with us," she told her husband. Mr. McCain agreed. Today that child is their teenage daughter Bridget. I was aware of this story. What I did not know, and what I learned from Doris, is that there was a second infant Mrs. McCain brought back. She ended up being adopted by a young McCain aide and his wife. "We were called at midnight by Cindy," Wes Gullett remembers, and "five days later we met our new daughter Nicki at the L.A. airport wearing the only clothing Cindy could find on the trip back, a 7-Up T-shirt she bought in the Bangkok airport." Today, Nicki is a high school sophomore. Mr. Gullett told me, "I never saw a hospital bill" for her care. A few, but not many, of the stories told to me by the Days have been written about, such as in Robert Timberg's 1996 book "A Nightingale's Song." But Mr. McCain rarely refers to them on the campaign trail. There is something admirable in his reticence, but he needs to overcome it. Private people like Mr. McCain are rare in politics for a reason. Candidates who are uncomfortable sharing their interior lives limit their appeal. But if Mr. McCain is to win the election this fall, he has to open up. Americans need to know about his vision for the nation's future, especially his policy positions and domestic reforms. They also need to learn about the moments in his life that shaped him. Mr. McCain cannot make this a biography-only campaign - but he can't afford to make it a biography-free campaign either. Unless he opens up more, many voters will never know the experiences of his life that show his character, integrity and essential decency. These qualities mattered in America's first president and will matter as Americans decide on their 44th president.
Generosity
Originally posted May 9, 2008
You know sometimes I wonder why I don't have more common sense. Maybe lack of self esteem at one point in my life led me to believe that you can buy things and people will like you better. Or maybe it's the fact that when I have things bought for me it makes me happy so I think it will make others happy as well. I love to buy presents for friends and family, there is lots of thought that goes into it.
I guess I'm frustrated with myself right now more than anything. I could itemize some of the more expensive items I was dumb enough to buy for guys that I dated. I mean a plane ticket to sweden, tickets to a race, you would think that i have money the way that I spend it. I wonder now why I'm so far in the hole and all i have to do is look back at the ridiculously expensive gifts I've given. Paula says it right. Never buy a guy anything, he should buy you everything. I should have learned by now that I wind up being the person who was too stupid to realize she should have just kept her wallet and heart closed.
You know sometimes I wonder why I don't have more common sense. Maybe lack of self esteem at one point in my life led me to believe that you can buy things and people will like you better. Or maybe it's the fact that when I have things bought for me it makes me happy so I think it will make others happy as well. I love to buy presents for friends and family, there is lots of thought that goes into it.
I guess I'm frustrated with myself right now more than anything. I could itemize some of the more expensive items I was dumb enough to buy for guys that I dated. I mean a plane ticket to sweden, tickets to a race, you would think that i have money the way that I spend it. I wonder now why I'm so far in the hole and all i have to do is look back at the ridiculously expensive gifts I've given. Paula says it right. Never buy a guy anything, he should buy you everything. I should have learned by now that I wind up being the person who was too stupid to realize she should have just kept her wallet and heart closed.
Fern & Bamboo
Originally posted May 08
One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality..... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo". He said . "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come," God said to me. " You will rise high!" "How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned. "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you........ Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you Happiness. Bad days give you Experiences. Both are essential to life. Keep going... Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going! Have a great day! The Son is shining!! God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small.................He can curl up inside your heart!
One day I decided to quit.... I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality..... I wanted to quit my life. I went to the woods to have one last talk with God. "God", I said. "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?" His answer surprised me... "Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?" "Yes", I replied. "When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them. I gave them light. I gave them water. The fern quickly grew from the earth. Its brilliant green covered the floor. Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful. And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo". He said . "In the third year, there was still nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. In the fourth year, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. But I would not quit. He said. "Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Compared to the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant. But just 6 months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall. It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive. I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle." He said to me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots. I would not quit on the bamboo. I will never quit on you. Don't compare yourself to others." He said. "The bamboo had a different purpose than the fern, yet, they both make the forest beautiful." "Your time will come," God said to me. " You will rise high!" "How high should I rise?" I asked. "How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return. "As high as it can?" I questioned. "Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can." I left the forest and brought back this story. I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you........ Never regret a day in your life. Good days give you Happiness. Bad days give you Experiences. Both are essential to life. Keep going... Happiness keeps you Sweet, Trials keep you Strong, Sorrows keep you Human, Failures keep you Humble, Success keeps You Glowing, But Only God keeps You Going! Have a great day! The Son is shining!! God is so big He can cover the whole world with his Love and so small.................He can curl up inside your heart!
Interview with Rick Warren
Originally posted April 29, 2008
Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE') You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren , Rick said:People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has
strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72 First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.T hird, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.Quiet moments,
WORSHIP GOD.Painful moments, TRUST GOD.Every moment, THANK GOD. NOW . PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS
Rick Warren (REMEMBER HE WROTE 'PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE') You will enjoy the new insights that Rick Warren has, with his wife now having cancer and him having 'wealth' from the book sales. This is an absolutely incredible short interview with Rick Warren, 'Purpose Driven Life ' author and pastor of Saddleback Church in California In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren , Rick said:People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness,'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.' But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has
strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72 First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.T hird, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.Quiet moments,
WORSHIP GOD.Painful moments, TRUST GOD.Every moment, THANK GOD. NOW . PLEASE SHARE THIS WITH YOUR FRIENDS
Grandaddy
Originally posted April 6, 2008
I know that God is in control. I went down to see my Grandparents yesterday. My Grandaddy is now full time in a hospital bed that has been placed in the great room where he can look out the windows and see the farm where he has worked for these past so many years. He’s unable to move on his own at all. I took my Grandmommy to get her hair done. It was a special time with my Grandmother I asked for clarification on the story of when she and Grandaddy met. We arrived back at the farm and I had a moment with my Grandaddy where I said I love you and he said back to me I love you too, so very much.
Grandaddy is in tremendous pain and just to watch is horrible. I was upset at first with how he’s been but now in looking at what’s going on I realize I can’t begin to understand the suffering that he’s experiencing. I was concerned when all of this first started that my Grandaddy wasn’t where he needed to be with the Lord. My prayer was that God would make Himself very real to Grandaddy and in numerous ways He’s been faithful. He’s brought in people to be a witness in a way that would never have been accepted before. My Grandaddy was always self sufficient never needing anyone before and all that has changed.
My mom called today to tell me that my Aunt, who has been down there full time for several weeks, called today to say that she doesn’t feel it will be much longer. My mom knows that the quality of life for my Grandaddy is not there but she’s having a hard time letting go. I pray for her and her brother and sister and for my Grandmommy. As a family we’ve always had each other. We haven’t always all gotten along but we’ve always known that all we have to do is call. The knowledge that we’re about to say good bye is difficult. I have a peace that comes from the knowledge that God in His perfect plan is about to take my Grandaddy home where he will experience complete and total healing. I will one day see my Grandaddy again, just not this side of Heaven.
I know that God is in control. I went down to see my Grandparents yesterday. My Grandaddy is now full time in a hospital bed that has been placed in the great room where he can look out the windows and see the farm where he has worked for these past so many years. He’s unable to move on his own at all. I took my Grandmommy to get her hair done. It was a special time with my Grandmother I asked for clarification on the story of when she and Grandaddy met. We arrived back at the farm and I had a moment with my Grandaddy where I said I love you and he said back to me I love you too, so very much.
Grandaddy is in tremendous pain and just to watch is horrible. I was upset at first with how he’s been but now in looking at what’s going on I realize I can’t begin to understand the suffering that he’s experiencing. I was concerned when all of this first started that my Grandaddy wasn’t where he needed to be with the Lord. My prayer was that God would make Himself very real to Grandaddy and in numerous ways He’s been faithful. He’s brought in people to be a witness in a way that would never have been accepted before. My Grandaddy was always self sufficient never needing anyone before and all that has changed.
My mom called today to tell me that my Aunt, who has been down there full time for several weeks, called today to say that she doesn’t feel it will be much longer. My mom knows that the quality of life for my Grandaddy is not there but she’s having a hard time letting go. I pray for her and her brother and sister and for my Grandmommy. As a family we’ve always had each other. We haven’t always all gotten along but we’ve always known that all we have to do is call. The knowledge that we’re about to say good bye is difficult. I have a peace that comes from the knowledge that God in His perfect plan is about to take my Grandaddy home where he will experience complete and total healing. I will one day see my Grandaddy again, just not this side of Heaven.
Grandaddy went home
Originally posted April 13, 2008
My Grandaddy went home yesterday morning. He went very peacefully and my Grandmommy was with him when he took his last breath. It's bittersweet knowing he's no longer in pain but also no longer here to tell us what to do :-) I appreciate your prayers at this time for my family.
My Grandaddy went home yesterday morning. He went very peacefully and my Grandmommy was with him when he took his last breath. It's bittersweet knowing he's no longer in pain but also no longer here to tell us what to do :-) I appreciate your prayers at this time for my family.
Letting Go
Originally posted April 3, 2008
I’ve pretty much let go as far as the previous relationship. I was thinking about how I’ve closed several chapters within the past few months. When you’ve really loved someone a piece of you is gone for good. No matter that you’re not together you still care about the person and their family. For the first time I ran into a situation I was unprepared for, an ex spouse and child. The child I was conscientious that I was not a parent but I was involved. The ex spouse well that was something all together different. In order to let go of this one I think I just need to write and get it out of my own head. What brought this up is one of my co-workers is from New Zealand. She and I had a conversation regarding the fact that her immediate family, Dad, Mom, Stepdad and Sister all reside in Australia now. The reason being the pay is better down there. People want to hire people from New Zealand b/c they’re harder workers. In fact they had to pass a law in Australia stating companies had to have a certain percentage of australians working b/c no one wanted to hire them b/c they’re known for being lazy. No surprise there based off my one impression of someone from the country.
The ex was originally from Australia. Now the scenario was she manipulated herself into the states, conveniently became pregnant and just as conveniently "lost" the baby shortly after the marriage took place in the judges chambers. Marriage lasts for a couple years, she decides she wants a kid. Really she just wanted a pawn so she’d be set for good. Little girl arrives, she has the perfect guy who does most of the work, at home as well as making the major income. She gets bored, starts cheating, eventually declares she wants a divorce. First husband moves out, less than 48 hours new guy moves in. She gets the house, she gets income from the husband, plus child support, plus daycare money. What she deserved I’m too much of a lady to say. OK so 9 months go by and I come into the picture. I start dating the good guy. He and I had our ups and downs and ultimately it didn’t work out. However, I really don’t have any major issues with the good guy any longer. At first there were some things but now in the miracle of time healing all wounds I’m ok and moving on and realizing that in the end it all works out.
As for the witch. Well heaven forbid that the good guy was happy. She was an absolute nightmare. In fact I still have nightmares and she’s in them. She was awful to me, she’d been worse to his family. I can’t begin to explain how evil and awful she was. I remember one night sobbing because she was just so evil and hateful. In working through all of this it’s just one more thing that I have to let go of. I still get upset when I think about how badly she treated the good guy. I understand that this is one more thing I must let go of. The best part, I don’t have to deal with her again! I can move on I don’t have to worry about it anymore, it’s no longer a part of my life. In the end what goes around comes around, you can not be as awful as she is to everyone and not expect repercussions for it.
I’ve pretty much let go as far as the previous relationship. I was thinking about how I’ve closed several chapters within the past few months. When you’ve really loved someone a piece of you is gone for good. No matter that you’re not together you still care about the person and their family. For the first time I ran into a situation I was unprepared for, an ex spouse and child. The child I was conscientious that I was not a parent but I was involved. The ex spouse well that was something all together different. In order to let go of this one I think I just need to write and get it out of my own head. What brought this up is one of my co-workers is from New Zealand. She and I had a conversation regarding the fact that her immediate family, Dad, Mom, Stepdad and Sister all reside in Australia now. The reason being the pay is better down there. People want to hire people from New Zealand b/c they’re harder workers. In fact they had to pass a law in Australia stating companies had to have a certain percentage of australians working b/c no one wanted to hire them b/c they’re known for being lazy. No surprise there based off my one impression of someone from the country.
The ex was originally from Australia. Now the scenario was she manipulated herself into the states, conveniently became pregnant and just as conveniently "lost" the baby shortly after the marriage took place in the judges chambers. Marriage lasts for a couple years, she decides she wants a kid. Really she just wanted a pawn so she’d be set for good. Little girl arrives, she has the perfect guy who does most of the work, at home as well as making the major income. She gets bored, starts cheating, eventually declares she wants a divorce. First husband moves out, less than 48 hours new guy moves in. She gets the house, she gets income from the husband, plus child support, plus daycare money. What she deserved I’m too much of a lady to say. OK so 9 months go by and I come into the picture. I start dating the good guy. He and I had our ups and downs and ultimately it didn’t work out. However, I really don’t have any major issues with the good guy any longer. At first there were some things but now in the miracle of time healing all wounds I’m ok and moving on and realizing that in the end it all works out.
As for the witch. Well heaven forbid that the good guy was happy. She was an absolute nightmare. In fact I still have nightmares and she’s in them. She was awful to me, she’d been worse to his family. I can’t begin to explain how evil and awful she was. I remember one night sobbing because she was just so evil and hateful. In working through all of this it’s just one more thing that I have to let go of. I still get upset when I think about how badly she treated the good guy. I understand that this is one more thing I must let go of. The best part, I don’t have to deal with her again! I can move on I don’t have to worry about it anymore, it’s no longer a part of my life. In the end what goes around comes around, you can not be as awful as she is to everyone and not expect repercussions for it.
UNC Basketball
Originally posted March 29. 2008
So in a previous post I mentioned that having an exboyfriend who was a die hard Tarheel rubbed off a little on me. Tonight I watched an amazing game where UNC beat Louisville, it was FABULOUS!! Now I don’t even like basketball but I watched the entire game. The ironic thing is I enjoyed it.
As I was sitting there watching I couldn’t help but think I would have done everything in my power to make sure that the exboyfriend previously mentioned, had he so desired, been actually in the arena. Recently he revealed that he’d talked to friends about proposing. I didn’t reveal that early in the evening of the night we had the infamous conversation that ulitmately ended our relationship I had decided his wedding gift would be tickets to the UNC/Duke game if the timing was right for such a gift. I had taken delight in thinking of the reaction when the gift was given. Now the correlation between a marriage proposal and tickets to a UNC game may seem odd to some but this guy bled carolina blue blood. Today was his birthday so I guess it’s natural that I’ve thought a little bit more about him.
What makes the scenario even more surreal to me is that I was on a date watching the game with someone else. The guy lives in the same neighborhood where my exboyfriends, ex wife lived while we were dating. Sometimes the world is a very small place! This guy is extremely interesting! He was over Thursday night when we watched the Tarheels victory over Washington State. He’s travelled all over the world. He’s very intelligent. We went out for sushi before the game. He asked me out again already. I’m curious to see how it will all play out.
So in a previous post I mentioned that having an exboyfriend who was a die hard Tarheel rubbed off a little on me. Tonight I watched an amazing game where UNC beat Louisville, it was FABULOUS!! Now I don’t even like basketball but I watched the entire game. The ironic thing is I enjoyed it.
As I was sitting there watching I couldn’t help but think I would have done everything in my power to make sure that the exboyfriend previously mentioned, had he so desired, been actually in the arena. Recently he revealed that he’d talked to friends about proposing. I didn’t reveal that early in the evening of the night we had the infamous conversation that ulitmately ended our relationship I had decided his wedding gift would be tickets to the UNC/Duke game if the timing was right for such a gift. I had taken delight in thinking of the reaction when the gift was given. Now the correlation between a marriage proposal and tickets to a UNC game may seem odd to some but this guy bled carolina blue blood. Today was his birthday so I guess it’s natural that I’ve thought a little bit more about him.
What makes the scenario even more surreal to me is that I was on a date watching the game with someone else. The guy lives in the same neighborhood where my exboyfriends, ex wife lived while we were dating. Sometimes the world is a very small place! This guy is extremely interesting! He was over Thursday night when we watched the Tarheels victory over Washington State. He’s travelled all over the world. He’s very intelligent. We went out for sushi before the game. He asked me out again already. I’m curious to see how it will all play out.
Grandaddy
Originally posted March 28, 2008
When I was growing up my Mom’s parents were a constant. They have always been a part of my life. Several weeks ago I got the phone call from my Mom that my Grandaddy had tumors all over his body. Since that time he’s had good and bad days. Wednesday night he lost all strength in his legs. Yesterday the doctor wanted to admit him and he said absolutely not. The doctor then said that if he wouldn’t be admitted then Hospice needed to be called.
My Aunt asked the doctor how much time and the doctor said it could be tonight, 2 days from now, 2 weeks from now there is no way to determine the time frame.
It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer. It’s hard to know that in a very short time they will no longer be just a quick trip down the road away. Through it all I know that God is in control. We live in a fallen world with sin and sickness and death. This life is not eternal, but God is and He has a place for us if we just accept Him and the gift of life that only He can give.
When I was growing up my Mom’s parents were a constant. They have always been a part of my life. Several weeks ago I got the phone call from my Mom that my Grandaddy had tumors all over his body. Since that time he’s had good and bad days. Wednesday night he lost all strength in his legs. Yesterday the doctor wanted to admit him and he said absolutely not. The doctor then said that if he wouldn’t be admitted then Hospice needed to be called.
My Aunt asked the doctor how much time and the doctor said it could be tonight, 2 days from now, 2 weeks from now there is no way to determine the time frame.
It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer. It’s hard to know that in a very short time they will no longer be just a quick trip down the road away. Through it all I know that God is in control. We live in a fallen world with sin and sickness and death. This life is not eternal, but God is and He has a place for us if we just accept Him and the gift of life that only He can give.
Tarheels
Originally posted March 2008
So through out this basketball season I have pulled for Carolina. I mean I’ve always had a thing for the Tarheels and last year after dating someone who was a die hard fan I guess it rubbed off a little. Especially after the themed Tarheel birthday celebration which was just too cool! Now when it actually comes to the game itself I’m pretty ambivalent, so long as I know they won I’m good. I will always be a Mountaineer, GO APPS!!! But during this March Madness season I also have to appreciate Roy’s boys.
In summation GO TARHEELS!!!
So through out this basketball season I have pulled for Carolina. I mean I’ve always had a thing for the Tarheels and last year after dating someone who was a die hard fan I guess it rubbed off a little. Especially after the themed Tarheel birthday celebration which was just too cool! Now when it actually comes to the game itself I’m pretty ambivalent, so long as I know they won I’m good. I will always be a Mountaineer, GO APPS!!! But during this March Madness season I also have to appreciate Roy’s boys.
In summation GO TARHEELS!!!
Dinner
Originally posted Thursday March 27
So I made dinner tonight. It turned out well but it’s really hard to screw up the recipe. I was still happy with how it all went. The funny thing is this situation in so many ways reminds me of a previous relationships beginings. The really interesting emails, followed by the interesting first date. The difference tonight, he went home. The difference this time around I have a much better idea of who I am and where I stand and what I believe.
It took the experience from the first mentioned to bring me to where I am now. It’s up to me to make sure that I take the lessons learned and continue to grow from them
So I made dinner tonight. It turned out well but it’s really hard to screw up the recipe. I was still happy with how it all went. The funny thing is this situation in so many ways reminds me of a previous relationships beginings. The really interesting emails, followed by the interesting first date. The difference tonight, he went home. The difference this time around I have a much better idea of who I am and where I stand and what I believe.
It took the experience from the first mentioned to bring me to where I am now. It’s up to me to make sure that I take the lessons learned and continue to grow from them
Dating
Originally posted March 23, 2008
When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to date. Then in college I did have one or two real dates. Once I moved back to Charlotte I really started "dating". My first boyfriend out of college was a long distance thing. He lives in Atlanta and I’m not good at long distance relationships. The next guy I met on match, that didn’t work out b/c there was someone else. Then the someone else met someone and I started dating the old guy. I was 23 he was 37, my parents hated him, with good reason. So that didn’t work out and I tried the long distance thing with the guy in Atlanta, again I’m bad at long distance. So then I bought my house and had some really bad experiences. When I had the nightmare trip to Charleston I took a break from dating only to meet another horrible individual and I had a couple more really bad experiences. Tried to rekindle a college romance, that didn’t work.
In September 06 I met the guy I thought I was going to marry. 11 months later we broke up. 7 months later I’m trying to date again. It’s hard. I had a date last night. He was super nice, plus he bought me dinner. Usually on a first date you just grab a glass of wine or coffee. We sat down and I thought we were just going to grab maybe an appetizer but he said no, I’m really hungry. It was a great date. Followed by a walk afterwards. It’s just hard to be here again! The connection I felt in September of 06 doesn’t come along very often. But by the time that relationship ended I felt like I mattered less than a pair of old running shoes. I felt an amazing connection last weekend with the Kentucky boy but he lives in Kentucky. His live is there, my life is here and the story ends.
So we’ll see what happens in the future :-)
When I was in high school I couldn’t wait to date. Then in college I did have one or two real dates. Once I moved back to Charlotte I really started "dating". My first boyfriend out of college was a long distance thing. He lives in Atlanta and I’m not good at long distance relationships. The next guy I met on match, that didn’t work out b/c there was someone else. Then the someone else met someone and I started dating the old guy. I was 23 he was 37, my parents hated him, with good reason. So that didn’t work out and I tried the long distance thing with the guy in Atlanta, again I’m bad at long distance. So then I bought my house and had some really bad experiences. When I had the nightmare trip to Charleston I took a break from dating only to meet another horrible individual and I had a couple more really bad experiences. Tried to rekindle a college romance, that didn’t work.
In September 06 I met the guy I thought I was going to marry. 11 months later we broke up. 7 months later I’m trying to date again. It’s hard. I had a date last night. He was super nice, plus he bought me dinner. Usually on a first date you just grab a glass of wine or coffee. We sat down and I thought we were just going to grab maybe an appetizer but he said no, I’m really hungry. It was a great date. Followed by a walk afterwards. It’s just hard to be here again! The connection I felt in September of 06 doesn’t come along very often. But by the time that relationship ended I felt like I mattered less than a pair of old running shoes. I felt an amazing connection last weekend with the Kentucky boy but he lives in Kentucky. His live is there, my life is here and the story ends.
So we’ll see what happens in the future :-)
Grandaddy
Originally posted February 21, 2008
I got a phone call from my mom yesterday right before I left for work at the store that my Grandaddy had been admitted to the hospital. He has spots on his lung and liver as well as a tumor at the base of his spine and at the top of his leg. They have begun a radiation program to fight the tumor at the base of his spine first. Then they will tackle the other areas. He's in good spirits and the fact that there's something actually wrong and he's not just old has definitely made him more positive! When Grandaddy was remodeling the farm house on Wilmont Rd there was a day when he held that entire house on his shoulders literally. To watch him the past few years has been a challenge because as we all do, he's getting older.
In my family we know that God is bigger than any cancer or illness. We also know that He is in control. Not to say that tears aren't being cried, we're only human and we know that if God's way of healing him is to take Grandaddy home then we're going to miss him! The positive is they've started the treatments and now we just have to see what will happen!
I got a phone call from my mom yesterday right before I left for work at the store that my Grandaddy had been admitted to the hospital. He has spots on his lung and liver as well as a tumor at the base of his spine and at the top of his leg. They have begun a radiation program to fight the tumor at the base of his spine first. Then they will tackle the other areas. He's in good spirits and the fact that there's something actually wrong and he's not just old has definitely made him more positive! When Grandaddy was remodeling the farm house on Wilmont Rd there was a day when he held that entire house on his shoulders literally. To watch him the past few years has been a challenge because as we all do, he's getting older.
In my family we know that God is bigger than any cancer or illness. We also know that He is in control. Not to say that tears aren't being cried, we're only human and we know that if God's way of healing him is to take Grandaddy home then we're going to miss him! The positive is they've started the treatments and now we just have to see what will happen!
Round & Round
Originally posted February 17, 2008
I mentioned previously a conversation I had with a previous significant other. Before that I wrote about Birthday. After another brief email encounter it caused me some more reflective thinking. Before now I always believed that you love one person and that's it and when the relationship ends and you go your separate ways you quit caring. But in some instances that is just not the case. When you become intrinsically a part of someone elses life there are times when you don't just fall for them. You fall for their friends, their family, and if applicable their children. When life as I'd known if for almost a year came to a complete and total halt at the end of last August I was unprepared for all that I was about to go through.
It dawned on me last night as I had thoughts going round and round in my head, while I was montonously putting away Valentine's cards to get ready for Easter, that the reason this is so difficult is because I didn't stop loving or caring. I also understood that in this particular situation their are very definite reasons why the relationship is dead and burried. I understand now that there are things that I will not say because at this point, there is no reason to. There is no chance of reconcilliation. The most important thing is what I take away from all of this. There have been days when I felt like my heart was literally breaking. I don't have those days so much anymore.
Life goes on. I hold to the knowledge that God does have a plan for me. As much as I want to have it ALL figured out and in a neat little box that is not how life works.
I mentioned previously a conversation I had with a previous significant other. Before that I wrote about Birthday. After another brief email encounter it caused me some more reflective thinking. Before now I always believed that you love one person and that's it and when the relationship ends and you go your separate ways you quit caring. But in some instances that is just not the case. When you become intrinsically a part of someone elses life there are times when you don't just fall for them. You fall for their friends, their family, and if applicable their children. When life as I'd known if for almost a year came to a complete and total halt at the end of last August I was unprepared for all that I was about to go through.
It dawned on me last night as I had thoughts going round and round in my head, while I was montonously putting away Valentine's cards to get ready for Easter, that the reason this is so difficult is because I didn't stop loving or caring. I also understood that in this particular situation their are very definite reasons why the relationship is dead and burried. I understand now that there are things that I will not say because at this point, there is no reason to. There is no chance of reconcilliation. The most important thing is what I take away from all of this. There have been days when I felt like my heart was literally breaking. I don't have those days so much anymore.
Life goes on. I hold to the knowledge that God does have a plan for me. As much as I want to have it ALL figured out and in a neat little box that is not how life works.
Reflection
Originally posted February 14, 2008
I've got to work today. I'm swamped with work in fact. But my mind keeps going back to the email correspondence that I've recently had. I've reflected a lot on this previous relationship, mostly because it caused me to really look at my life and make changes. I wouldn't be facing my skeletons now had it not been for this relationship. I'm reminded of 3 scriptures:
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"
Why these three? Well because since I ended the relationship I've had to hold onto the fact that God has a plan. I've had to accept that if I'm not following God's plan but forcing my own way then I can never truly be happy. And the final scripture reminds me that even if I think I know what I want and what I want is what is going to make me happiest then I'm not acknowledging that God is bigger! He can do more than I can ask or imagine.
I've got to work today. I'm swamped with work in fact. But my mind keeps going back to the email correspondence that I've recently had. I've reflected a lot on this previous relationship, mostly because it caused me to really look at my life and make changes. I wouldn't be facing my skeletons now had it not been for this relationship. I'm reminded of 3 scriptures:
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to his purpose."
Ephesians 3:20 "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us"
Why these three? Well because since I ended the relationship I've had to hold onto the fact that God has a plan. I've had to accept that if I'm not following God's plan but forcing my own way then I can never truly be happy. And the final scripture reminds me that even if I think I know what I want and what I want is what is going to make me happiest then I'm not acknowledging that God is bigger! He can do more than I can ask or imagine.
Birthdays
Originally posted February 2008
I can't believe it's February, Valentine's is next week. I'm trying very hard to remain in control over my emotions. Last year I had such a unique opportunity of putting on a birthday party for a very very special little girl. She was turning 4. I found the cutest pink princess outfit, fit for the birthday girl. I found the location and set it up. I ordered the most fabulous birthday cake from Edible Art in Charlotte. I started buying presents after Christmas and went way over board, not unusual for me :-) I sent out the invitations. I put together the gift bags for each of the kids who attended, gotta love having that Hallmark discount!! The birthday girl was sick the week of her birthday and actually didn't feel all that great on the day of her party. She fell in love with Wilbur which was one of her gift bag presents, not even an actual gift. She also got a lot of cool presents from everyone who came.
To me it was such a big deal because I loved her, I wanted her to have a really special birthday to remember. I guess she really won't remember any of it. I've looked back at where I've been and asked myself if I could go back and do it all again would I. Maybe I'm weird in that I've had such a hard time with all of this. I mean people break up everyday, you move on. I understand now why I stayed as long as I did. She wasn't mine, I knew that from the very begining. I wasn't trying to take anyone's place. I just wanted a little girl to know that no matter what she belonged. She had a place and she was loved. I hope that someday I'm actually able to have birthday parties for children who are mine. Even if I don't then I'm ok with that. I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life and it's entirely possible that plan might not include ever getting married or having kids. That's not really what I want but if that's the plan then I have to accept it and move forward. Better to accept and be at peace then trying to create my own way and be miserable!
I can't believe it's February, Valentine's is next week. I'm trying very hard to remain in control over my emotions. Last year I had such a unique opportunity of putting on a birthday party for a very very special little girl. She was turning 4. I found the cutest pink princess outfit, fit for the birthday girl. I found the location and set it up. I ordered the most fabulous birthday cake from Edible Art in Charlotte. I started buying presents after Christmas and went way over board, not unusual for me :-) I sent out the invitations. I put together the gift bags for each of the kids who attended, gotta love having that Hallmark discount!! The birthday girl was sick the week of her birthday and actually didn't feel all that great on the day of her party. She fell in love with Wilbur which was one of her gift bag presents, not even an actual gift. She also got a lot of cool presents from everyone who came.
To me it was such a big deal because I loved her, I wanted her to have a really special birthday to remember. I guess she really won't remember any of it. I've looked back at where I've been and asked myself if I could go back and do it all again would I. Maybe I'm weird in that I've had such a hard time with all of this. I mean people break up everyday, you move on. I understand now why I stayed as long as I did. She wasn't mine, I knew that from the very begining. I wasn't trying to take anyone's place. I just wanted a little girl to know that no matter what she belonged. She had a place and she was loved. I hope that someday I'm actually able to have birthday parties for children who are mine. Even if I don't then I'm ok with that. I know that there is a plan and purpose for my life and it's entirely possible that plan might not include ever getting married or having kids. That's not really what I want but if that's the plan then I have to accept it and move forward. Better to accept and be at peace then trying to create my own way and be miserable!
Living in Charlotte
Originally posted February 2, 2008
So I had a conversation recently regarding Charlotte vs Raleigh. Don't get my wrong I have nothing against Raleigh. My brother lives there and loves it. The comment was this "Charlotte is just a bunch of new money and Raleigh is old money and I just like it better". While I understand and have always known that this individual does not like Charlotte it caused a train of thought that I just have to get out of my own head.
See I grew up in Charlotte, I was born at Presbyterian Hospital. I'm actually very proud to be able to claim to be a real true native of this city. Now I'm not like people from New York City who tend to believe that there is NO other city but I do like being able to claim that I am a Charlottean. It's not just me, my Mama was born in Charlotte, NC, her father, my Grandfather was born in Charlotte, NC, my Grandfather's parents were born in Charlotte, NC, their parents were born in Charlotte, NC. It goes all the way back to before there was a Charlotte and this area was Mecklenburg County. My Mama's side of the family on my Grandaddy's side go all the way back to the founding of this area before the Revolutionary war. Many of these ancestors are buried at Steele Creek Presbyterian Church in Charlotte, I've walked thru the Graveyard and seen their names and the dates that they lived.
Charlotte has grown tremendously. It has experienced the natural growing pains of a city that is expanding by leaps and bounds. I know very well that this City has it's issues. It has been inundated with people from Ohio, NY, PA and NJ. It's not a bad thing that we have the new money brought in because this Queen City has become a banking capital holding both Bank of America and Wachovia. New money is what rebuilt the South after the Civil War. New money is what allows for professional sporting teams and continued growth and education. This city still has a long way to go in certain areas but it is certainly, in my opinion, The Queen City of the South!
So I had a conversation recently regarding Charlotte vs Raleigh. Don't get my wrong I have nothing against Raleigh. My brother lives there and loves it. The comment was this "Charlotte is just a bunch of new money and Raleigh is old money and I just like it better". While I understand and have always known that this individual does not like Charlotte it caused a train of thought that I just have to get out of my own head.
See I grew up in Charlotte, I was born at Presbyterian Hospital. I'm actually very proud to be able to claim to be a real true native of this city. Now I'm not like people from New York City who tend to believe that there is NO other city but I do like being able to claim that I am a Charlottean. It's not just me, my Mama was born in Charlotte, NC, her father, my Grandfather was born in Charlotte, NC, my Grandfather's parents were born in Charlotte, NC, their parents were born in Charlotte, NC. It goes all the way back to before there was a Charlotte and this area was Mecklenburg County. My Mama's side of the family on my Grandaddy's side go all the way back to the founding of this area before the Revolutionary war. Many of these ancestors are buried at Steele Creek Presbyterian Church in Charlotte, I've walked thru the Graveyard and seen their names and the dates that they lived.
Charlotte has grown tremendously. It has experienced the natural growing pains of a city that is expanding by leaps and bounds. I know very well that this City has it's issues. It has been inundated with people from Ohio, NY, PA and NJ. It's not a bad thing that we have the new money brought in because this Queen City has become a banking capital holding both Bank of America and Wachovia. New money is what rebuilt the South after the Civil War. New money is what allows for professional sporting teams and continued growth and education. This city still has a long way to go in certain areas but it is certainly, in my opinion, The Queen City of the South!
2007/2008
Originally posted January 12, 2008
The ongoing topic of conversation lately has been how fast time goes. It's funny because one afternoon of work can last for what seems like at eternity but you get home and in the blink of an eye it's time to wake up for the next day and get started all over again. Maybe the fact that I leave for work at 6:30 has something to do with this feeling but since I know I'm not the only person who feels this way it must not be entirely that.I can't help but remember where I was and what was going on this time last year. There were drastic changes then and this year feels no less drastic. Relationships come and go and that's part of life but when there are little people involved it is bittersweet. Understanding that they were never yours to begin with. Knowing that they had wonderful and not so wonderful traits that made you want to laugh and scream at the same time. Loving them so much you tried to make everything else work and you probably wouldn't have stayed with the situation for as long as you did if it hadn't been for a little person.Live and learn and understand that you take it with you and you continue to pray for them. Life goes on and eventually, hopefully some day you will have little people of your very own. It's not that little people don't come with incredibly challenges and frustrations but it is such a special experience!
The ongoing topic of conversation lately has been how fast time goes. It's funny because one afternoon of work can last for what seems like at eternity but you get home and in the blink of an eye it's time to wake up for the next day and get started all over again. Maybe the fact that I leave for work at 6:30 has something to do with this feeling but since I know I'm not the only person who feels this way it must not be entirely that.I can't help but remember where I was and what was going on this time last year. There were drastic changes then and this year feels no less drastic. Relationships come and go and that's part of life but when there are little people involved it is bittersweet. Understanding that they were never yours to begin with. Knowing that they had wonderful and not so wonderful traits that made you want to laugh and scream at the same time. Loving them so much you tried to make everything else work and you probably wouldn't have stayed with the situation for as long as you did if it hadn't been for a little person.Live and learn and understand that you take it with you and you continue to pray for them. Life goes on and eventually, hopefully some day you will have little people of your very own. It's not that little people don't come with incredibly challenges and frustrations but it is such a special experience!
Airports
Originally posted December 21, 2007
I think if I ever get married I will ask that the honeymoon location be someplace we can drive to. After this last airport experience I just have to express one more time how much I DO NOT LIKE TO FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sick, I'm out another day of work, one I can not afford to lose b/c it is an unpaid sick day. I'm also supposed to work at the store tonight and if this is in fact strep throat it means I can't expose my coworkers to this crud!
Every time I have flown over the past 2 years (and I've only flown twice) I have ended up with some sort of illness. Airports and airplanes breed this and I think it's disgusting! I've been taking Airbourne non stop since Sunday and I still have ended up with what I believe to be strep throat. I'm having this verified later on this morning. I've been up since my usual 5 am wake up time but I can not go in b/c I do have a fever that has increased since 5 this morning. I'm so aggravated right now b/c I have A TON of work sitting on my desk waiting for me!
I think if I ever get married I will ask that the honeymoon location be someplace we can drive to. After this last airport experience I just have to express one more time how much I DO NOT LIKE TO FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sick, I'm out another day of work, one I can not afford to lose b/c it is an unpaid sick day. I'm also supposed to work at the store tonight and if this is in fact strep throat it means I can't expose my coworkers to this crud!
Every time I have flown over the past 2 years (and I've only flown twice) I have ended up with some sort of illness. Airports and airplanes breed this and I think it's disgusting! I've been taking Airbourne non stop since Sunday and I still have ended up with what I believe to be strep throat. I'm having this verified later on this morning. I've been up since my usual 5 am wake up time but I can not go in b/c I do have a fever that has increased since 5 this morning. I'm so aggravated right now b/c I have A TON of work sitting on my desk waiting for me!
Freedom
Originally posted December 17, 2007
I had to fly this past week. Or rather I had to get on a plane and that meant going thru the Charlotte Douglas airport security. My friend Carolyn told me that she travels to DC all the time and she never checks her bag. Carolyn must not be high maintenance like I am. I got thru to the front and after confiscating my hair spray then I found out I was going to have to go back and recheck the bag. I said something not very nice about terrorist, using a word I don't normally use. The supervisor came over and told me he was very sorry but that is just the way it is and they can't change it for me.
I had to go back and recheck my bag then go thru the whole process of sending my bag thru and going thru the metal detector. I was so mad, I forgot to get my hairspray back AND I had to go back and check the bag. But there is much more to my displeasure than the fact that I was inconvenienced. As I was standing there in line waiting the first time around I thought about how much I used to love to travel. In 1997 I flew all over the United States. I was able to travel and enjoy myself and I loved flying. I wanted to be a flight attendant I wanted to see the world.
On September 11, 2001 all that changed. We watched our Country come under attack by extremists individuals who hate us. They patiently wait in order to attack us for being who we are. We are a Nation who took for granted the freedom of carrying a water bottle thru an airport security check point. United States Citizens lost family and friends on that day in September. We all vividly remember where we were and what we were doing. We remember the intense feelings of helplessness as we watched in horror at what was going on. Now there are those who are trying to say, that never happened. We must never forget the lives of those who were taken because of hate.
My thoughts after having to go back and check my bag and once I was through turned to how much I dislike flying. For someone who once upon a time believed she wanted to be a flight attendant I had to stop and think. I am highly offended by the idea that my Country has sent our men and women to fight in these countries for Freedom. They fight for our Freedom and the freedom of these countries. While they sacrifice their lives here in our own country our freedoms are taken away when we have to fly. We can't carry shampoo onto a plane because there are people who hate us who want to see us dead and they have found ways to use mundane items in order to attack us. While our soldiers fight for freedom they are trying to take it away.
I had a layover in Detroit Michigan on my way there. In the restaurant where I had dinner two men in uniform came in. The patch on their arms said United States Air Force. As I walked out after paying my bill I made a stop at their table and I shook their hands and I said "Thank you for what you do". They said to me "It's our pleasure". It burns me up inside that United States Soldiers fight in these countries for the very freedoms that these extremists individuals are trying to take away from us..
The American's Creed states: "I believe in the United States of America as a government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed, a democracy in a republic, a sovereign Nation of many sovereign States; a perfect union, one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice, and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes.
I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it, to support its Constitution, to obey its laws to respect its flag, and to defend it against all enemies."
When I say these words I always feel a sense of pride that I am an American and my ancestors fought for the Freedoms that we have. I am unspeakably grateful to those who serve our Country today for what they do! I would encourage others to remember to say thank you! We would not have what we have if it weren't for those who serve and for those who have sacrificed their lives for our Country! We are fortunate to have the right to call ourselves American! When the National Anthem plays, stand up and stand straight and hold your hand over your heart! What we have is special and when we forget to appreciate what we have it is much easier for it to be taken away!
I had to fly this past week. Or rather I had to get on a plane and that meant going thru the Charlotte Douglas airport security. My friend Carolyn told me that she travels to DC all the time and she never checks her bag. Carolyn must not be high maintenance like I am. I got thru to the front and after confiscating my hair spray then I found out I was going to have to go back and recheck the bag. I said something not very nice about terrorist, using a word I don't normally use. The supervisor came over and told me he was very sorry but that is just the way it is and they can't change it for me.
I had to go back and recheck my bag then go thru the whole process of sending my bag thru and going thru the metal detector. I was so mad, I forgot to get my hairspray back AND I had to go back and check the bag. But there is much more to my displeasure than the fact that I was inconvenienced. As I was standing there in line waiting the first time around I thought about how much I used to love to travel. In 1997 I flew all over the United States. I was able to travel and enjoy myself and I loved flying. I wanted to be a flight attendant I wanted to see the world.
On September 11, 2001 all that changed. We watched our Country come under attack by extremists individuals who hate us. They patiently wait in order to attack us for being who we are. We are a Nation who took for granted the freedom of carrying a water bottle thru an airport security check point. United States Citizens lost family and friends on that day in September. We all vividly remember where we were and what we were doing. We remember the intense feelings of helplessness as we watched in horror at what was going on. Now there are those who are trying to say, that never happened. We must never forget the lives of those who were taken because of hate.
My thoughts after having to go back and check my bag and once I was through turned to how much I dislike flying. For someone who once upon a time believed she wanted to be a flight attendant I had to stop and think. I am highly offended by the idea that my Country has sent our men and women to fight in these countries for Freedom. They fight for our Freedom and the freedom of these countries. While they sacrifice their lives here in our own country our freedoms are taken away when we have to fly. We can't carry shampoo onto a plane because there are people who hate us who want to see us dead and they have found ways to use mundane items in order to attack us. While our soldiers fight for freedom they are trying to take it away.
I had a layover in Detroit Michigan on my way there. In the restaurant where I had dinner two men in uniform came in. The patch on their arms said United States Air Force. As I walked out after paying my bill I made a stop at their table and I shook their hands and I said "Thank you for what you do". They said to me "It's our pleasure". It burns me up inside that United States Soldiers fight in these countries for the very freedoms that these extremists individuals are trying to take away from us..
The American's Creed states: "I believe in the United States of America as a government of the people, by the people, for the people; whose just powers are derived from the consent of the governed, a democracy in a republic, a sovereign Nation of many sovereign States; a perfect union, one and inseparable; established upon those principles of freedom, equality, justice, and humanity for which American patriots sacrificed their lives and fortunes.
I therefore believe it is my duty to my country to love it, to support its Constitution, to obey its laws to respect its flag, and to defend it against all enemies."
When I say these words I always feel a sense of pride that I am an American and my ancestors fought for the Freedoms that we have. I am unspeakably grateful to those who serve our Country today for what they do! I would encourage others to remember to say thank you! We would not have what we have if it weren't for those who serve and for those who have sacrificed their lives for our Country! We are fortunate to have the right to call ourselves American! When the National Anthem plays, stand up and stand straight and hold your hand over your heart! What we have is special and when we forget to appreciate what we have it is much easier for it to be taken away!
Friendship
Originally Posted December 11, 2007
I had a conversation the other night with my roommate from College. She was calling to check in; with our busy lives it's hard to keep up with each other. She's married and has a beautiful little girl and a full time teaching job, so busy would be an understatement. I just work a lot but I find myself crazy busy all the time too.
In the course of conversation I introduced the topic that I'm talking to a professional regarding the garbage from my past. Her words to me were "I'm glad you're finally dealing with all that". She told me about my sophomore year of college when apparently I wasn't eating much of anything. She would constantly raid my drawers to toss out the caffeine and diet pills that I had stashed. She knew that in order for someone to be helped they have to want help and at that point in time I could have cared less, I just wanted to be thin. I truly wonder if I would still be here if she hadn't been going thru my drawers. My motto thru college was to party and have a good time and who cared if I lived to see 30. Now that 30 is fast approaching it's startling to realize that I'm still around.
The conversation that she and I had made me thinks about how fortunate I am. I have been very blessed that I have friends who care. From college when they were finding ways to make me eat when I was drunk and throwing away the caffeine and diet pills. To the present where I've been honest enough to admit what's going on and I know that I'm being held accountable to truly work on dealing with this. I find this process intimidating but I hold to Phillipians 4:13.
I had a conversation the other night with my roommate from College. She was calling to check in; with our busy lives it's hard to keep up with each other. She's married and has a beautiful little girl and a full time teaching job, so busy would be an understatement. I just work a lot but I find myself crazy busy all the time too.
In the course of conversation I introduced the topic that I'm talking to a professional regarding the garbage from my past. Her words to me were "I'm glad you're finally dealing with all that". She told me about my sophomore year of college when apparently I wasn't eating much of anything. She would constantly raid my drawers to toss out the caffeine and diet pills that I had stashed. She knew that in order for someone to be helped they have to want help and at that point in time I could have cared less, I just wanted to be thin. I truly wonder if I would still be here if she hadn't been going thru my drawers. My motto thru college was to party and have a good time and who cared if I lived to see 30. Now that 30 is fast approaching it's startling to realize that I'm still around.
The conversation that she and I had made me thinks about how fortunate I am. I have been very blessed that I have friends who care. From college when they were finding ways to make me eat when I was drunk and throwing away the caffeine and diet pills. To the present where I've been honest enough to admit what's going on and I know that I'm being held accountable to truly work on dealing with this. I find this process intimidating but I hold to Phillipians 4:13.
Overwhelming
Originally posted November 17, 2007
You know it would seem that if you work 2 jobs plus whatever side jobs you can that money wouldn't be an issue. I don't have cable, I've taken off my fancy nails, I have cut back on everything that I possibly can. I opened my mortgage bill tonight only to discover that I owe WAY MORE money than what my current mortgage payment was supposed to be. Something about escrow not being withheld or something horrible that I don't understand and will have to call tomorrow to have them explain it to me. Me, being me, immediately became hysterical. I mean coming up with 1700 dollars is not something I can just pull out of thin air.
I guess the past few years have really finally caught up with me. Especially this past year when I truly with all my heart believed I would be selling this place and getting married. I made the mistake of thinking that all this was going to work out and once I sold this place everything would be ok again. I have the habit of believing something so firmly that I plan my life accordingly and spend accordingly as well. Birthday parties, stuff for the house I thought would be mine, clothes, toys, play tickets, groceries, gas. All have been what finally broke me financially. As I looked at the statement tonight and wept I realized that I just can't do this anymore. To own a place is a big responsibility. To carry the financial weight of it all on one income is frightening. I can't seem to get ahead most likely because I always think getting ahead is just around the corner and I believe that it will just all magically work out.
I've faithfully tithed for the past year. This for me has been a big step but to me it was important to show that God was God and money is not my god. So the hard part is you hear all these wonderful stories about how people tithe their last little bit and then they receive a miracle but right now I need a miracle and I feel like it's all on me. I got myself into this situation so it's incredibly unfair to ask God to get me out of it. I know that He's God and I'm not and I understand that he can provide more than we could ever ask or imagine. I just feel guilty having to ask when I know that I wasn't doing what I should have been in the first place and that's how I've arrived at this place now.
You know it would seem that if you work 2 jobs plus whatever side jobs you can that money wouldn't be an issue. I don't have cable, I've taken off my fancy nails, I have cut back on everything that I possibly can. I opened my mortgage bill tonight only to discover that I owe WAY MORE money than what my current mortgage payment was supposed to be. Something about escrow not being withheld or something horrible that I don't understand and will have to call tomorrow to have them explain it to me. Me, being me, immediately became hysterical. I mean coming up with 1700 dollars is not something I can just pull out of thin air.
I guess the past few years have really finally caught up with me. Especially this past year when I truly with all my heart believed I would be selling this place and getting married. I made the mistake of thinking that all this was going to work out and once I sold this place everything would be ok again. I have the habit of believing something so firmly that I plan my life accordingly and spend accordingly as well. Birthday parties, stuff for the house I thought would be mine, clothes, toys, play tickets, groceries, gas. All have been what finally broke me financially. As I looked at the statement tonight and wept I realized that I just can't do this anymore. To own a place is a big responsibility. To carry the financial weight of it all on one income is frightening. I can't seem to get ahead most likely because I always think getting ahead is just around the corner and I believe that it will just all magically work out.
I've faithfully tithed for the past year. This for me has been a big step but to me it was important to show that God was God and money is not my god. So the hard part is you hear all these wonderful stories about how people tithe their last little bit and then they receive a miracle but right now I need a miracle and I feel like it's all on me. I got myself into this situation so it's incredibly unfair to ask God to get me out of it. I know that He's God and I'm not and I understand that he can provide more than we could ever ask or imagine. I just feel guilty having to ask when I know that I wasn't doing what I should have been in the first place and that's how I've arrived at this place now.
Christmas Sweaters
Originally Posted Saturday November 10, 2007
Growing up I had the coolest Grandmommy ever! She would take me to lunch, take me shopping and every year the day after thanksgiving she would take me shopping for my Christmas. We would take walks on the beach and she taught me how to find sharks teeth. I've been so fortunate to have such a wonderful woman in my life.
Today I drove down to take her to lunch. We had a delicious lunch then I took her to CVS and helped her pick out cards. Then I took her to Belks. She needed new pieces for her winter wardrobe. I helped her in the dressing room putting to good use the years and years of experience in womens retail. We found her a wonderful Christmas sweater, it's really pretty! There are lots of connotations that surround a Christmas sweater. However, when my 79 year old Grandmother looked at me and said I'll get this if you will let me get you one too there was absolutely now way I could say no. I will wear my Christmas sweater proudly because my Grandmother bought if for me. I can't explain how today made me feel. It was such a role reversal and it made me appreciate how much my Grandmother has done for me over the past 28 years.
Growing up I had the coolest Grandmommy ever! She would take me to lunch, take me shopping and every year the day after thanksgiving she would take me shopping for my Christmas. We would take walks on the beach and she taught me how to find sharks teeth. I've been so fortunate to have such a wonderful woman in my life.
Today I drove down to take her to lunch. We had a delicious lunch then I took her to CVS and helped her pick out cards. Then I took her to Belks. She needed new pieces for her winter wardrobe. I helped her in the dressing room putting to good use the years and years of experience in womens retail. We found her a wonderful Christmas sweater, it's really pretty! There are lots of connotations that surround a Christmas sweater. However, when my 79 year old Grandmother looked at me and said I'll get this if you will let me get you one too there was absolutely now way I could say no. I will wear my Christmas sweater proudly because my Grandmother bought if for me. I can't explain how today made me feel. It was such a role reversal and it made me appreciate how much my Grandmother has done for me over the past 28 years.
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