Missed Call

Over the past several weeks every time I see a call from my Mom my heart leaps to my throat. Knowing that my Grandmommy is just not doing well a call can mean that something has happened. Or a call can just be Mom calling to check on me.

This morning I got back to my desk and I had missed a call. My heart leaped to my throat. I called mom right back. My Grandmommy refused medicine last night. She told my Aunt she is ready, numerous times. She recited the 23rd psalm. Last week she had communion.

Mom promised to keep me posted throughout the day. As the weeks have progressed my Grandmommy has been more and more ready. I truly believed we would be saying goodbye on Valentines. I was ready for Valentines, and relieved when the day passed and she was still here.

"For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:12-13

I know that when my Grandmommy is called home it's not a forever goodbye. I know that there will be a day when we say hello again. I'm not sure what today holds. I've put both jobs on alert. I'm praying. Knowing it's not a forever goodbye it's still a goodbye and I've never been all that great with those.

Open House

This morning I made sure Girl Clean had plenty of time to wake up. She takes forever to wake up so knowing we had to leave at 9:30 I had her up at 7:45. Of course we were still 5 minutes late walking out the door at 9:35. Why is it impossible to leave the house on time with a little person?

Girl Clean's mom has a little school right next to where they live. Girl Clean just turned 3 on January 7 so it's time to start figuring out the school thing. This school is a co-op for 3 and 4 year olds. Parents either serve on the board or volunteer a few hours each week. We walked in and while Mr. Cleans first words were "it's antiquated" I still liked what we saw. Yes the place had no technology, no TV, no computer. What it did have, blocks, easels, legos, a play theatre, a cooking area, a story rug, and the opportunity for kids to actually be kids. To use their imagination, to develop their creativity. He's thinking it's just a bunch of hippies who got a teaching license and started a school. Maybe he's right.

For me I liked the place. Soon enough Girl Clean is going to be in a classroom surrounded by technology and required to sit at a desk and participate in "traditional" school. I loved this little school room. I prayed while I stood there because I know that this would be a good place for her for this point in time. Her mom home schools her brother 2 days a week so those 2 days would be the days Girl Clean would go to school. I had some concerns about the pace and keeping up with the girl but I think overall they would do a good job of keeping her active.

I know that Girl Clean's mom really likes what she's found through her research. I'm a fan of Girl Clean having interaction with other little people her age. Overall I think it's a good opportunity. There was a lottery today and she got in so it looks like this will be where she goes. I'm sure people were curious at the group of us, the Mom, the Dad, the Mom's significant other and the Dad's wife. Or maybe not, I'm glad we could all be there today! I'm excited for her!!

Friday

This week has been light for posting. Monday night I worked. Tuesday night I was in bed by 8:30. Both the husband and girl clean have been sick, sinus yuck. I was so hoping to avoid this round of it but no such luck. Wednesday I missed both jobs.

Yesterday I was back at work but I had no voice. Last night I was in bed by 8:30, this was after the nap I took when I got home. This morning my voice is back. I'm hoping I can make it through for both jobs.

Exercise is not happening. Wednesday I had to go to Walmart to pick up mucinex, and that trip required a 2 hour nap afterwards. I made it through yesterday at work because I took a nap in my car at lunch. Whatever this is, I'm hoping it moves on!

Fortunately I have no set plans for the weekend. I'm hopeful that this will allow me to rest. We have girl clean but I'm totally playing the sick card this weekend. I'm hoping that by Sunday I will feel up to a run. I have a 4miler race coming up on March 17 and I need to add another mile to my usual 3.
My calendar is filling up, I have plans into June, I'm not complaining, I'm excited! It's life and every day holds something new and different.

Happy Friday!!!

Recapping and the Review

This past weekend was so awesome! Saturday morning Jack and I had an awesome run! I got to hang out with  Jess and her sister for a little while. I was able to clean the bathroom and vacuum. I picked up Girl Clean. We went to church. We came home and hung out.

Sunday Girl Clean's mom picked her up around noon. The trainer was coming to work with us and Jack around 2. I had guiltily confessed that I believed training had not been what it needed to be for Jack because life has been so busy. I was not looking forward to this session.

I was oh so pleasantly surprised! The trainer was actually really impressed with Jack's improvement. He warmed right up to her when she came in the door. He was able to take a nap on his pillow while she was there. He is much less fearful then before. We discussed some situation that had happened and heard how to better handle them.

I am so thankful that I found this trainer, she absolutely rocks!!!

After the training session the rest of the day was low key. It was so rainy and yucky there was no reason to go anywhere other then a quick trip to the grocery store.

Last night was back to reality, I worked both jobs. They are gearing up for a huge Fat Tuesday party tonight. All the decorations arrived last night and they will transform the restaurant for the party!!

I had my first negative guest review that said I was rude upon checking in. In all honesty I believe that I was probably more short then rude. However I know that short can be taken for rude. I had emailed my manager regarding the review because I felt badly about it. My manager told me that everyone knows how professional I am and that Valentines night was absolutely crazy busy and we all know this. I felt better, a negative review is never a good feeling.

I noticed last night that it stayed light outside longer. I noticed driving in this morning that the light was coming earlier. This makes me so happy!!!! I can now start running and walking with Jack during the week in the afternoon!!!

Happy Tuesday!!!

What a year has brought

Mr. Clean and I celebrated our 1 year since we met last Thursday on February 16th. I have freely shared my dating adventures in my writing here. I talked a lot about what was going on in the weeks leading up to June 11 last year. I will readily admit that I wanted to be married. I knew it wasn't sunshine and roses all the time but because of the great examples I have had this was something that I truly desired for me. There is a catch… I never factored in the whole other person factor. True to my personality I didn't examine this detail… Considering the nasty email I received in which I was called a gold digger, it should have caused me to pause and evaluate the factors that would make the other part of a relationship with me work. What did I need in a guy? I knew that I wanted someone who understood my background and had similar beliefs to mine, and there were a few other factors on my list; mostly though I evaluated me. In my typical fashion I determined that the repercussions and negatives that could surface in choosing to marry someone who proposed after 4 weeks could not possibly happen, to me…

"Well, maybe, maybe that's the point To reach the point of giving up Cause when I'm finally Finally at rock bottom Well, that's when I start looking up And reaching out" Verse 2 "Strong Enough" Matthew West

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I laugh now!

" 'Cause my whole world is caving in But I feel You now more than I did then How can I come to the end of me And somehow still have all I need God, I want to now You more Maybe this is how it starts I find You when I fall apart " Chorus from "Fall Apart" Josh Wilson

I have been taken far away from my comfort zone in life. So much has happened in the past year! There were times during the summer of 2011 when I questioned everything I had ever believed. When I compare now to last July/August it’s completely different. When I compare October to now there has been a lot of change and growth. I’m working on my communication in general. This has never been a strong suite of mine. I would rather avoid then confront but that’s not an effective way to maintain a healthy positive life. I am learning what works for me and what does not.

"When the waves are taking you under Hold on just a little bit longer He knows that this is gonna make you stronger, stronger The pain ain't gonna last forever And things can only get better Believe me, this is gonna make you stronger Gonna make you stronger, stronger, Stronger Believe me, this is gonna make you ... " Chorus from "Stronger" Mandisa

Sunday night I finished reading the book The Blessed Marriage. The sermon series at church this month is directly based from this book. I definitely agree with the book's premise that God created marriage to show a reflection of Himself. He is the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, there is no “lead” they are all one in the same, they move in perfect unity. In marriage while you have a “head of the house” the husband and wife are supposed to be one, they are different yet equal. There was so much in the book that was excellent! I really appreciated and agreed with all of it. While we were still sinners Jesus died for us. Marriage is supposed to be an example of unconditional love and forgiveness. Look how often we mess up and how often God forgives us. I completely understand that I can love and forgive someone but that doesn’t mean that I have to stay with them. I’m not willing to accept unacceptable behavior. Had I ever been physically harmed, or had the situation with Jack not been effectively resolved, I would not have stayed. End of story. I would forgive but that would be the end. I know that I’m not supposed to stay in a toxic situation that would destroy me.

"Maybe today I'll start believin' That You're mercy really is As real as You say it is It doesn't matter who I used to be It only matters that I've been set free You rescued me You're changing me Jesus take everything" Vs 2 from "Waiting for Tomorrow" Mandisa

My reality is that I’m married to a man who I love; who loves me. Sure he is flawed and insecure and screwed up and imperfect and can be an absolute jerk but he can also be wonderful. He tries hard. He’s admitted that he doesn’t always have to be right. He’s admitted that he’s hard to get along with and he’s trying to work on that. I have noticed that the more I work on me, and cleaning up my side of the street the more stability I create for both of us. He and I are both works in progress. I’m not blind, I’m not dumb, and I’m not walking along pretending everything is great when it’s not. I have established my own identity in my relationship. I chose someone who is way more complicated then I realized but this does not mean that God hasn’t had a perfect plan all along.

"Time for a milestone, time to begin again, re-evaluate who I really am Am I doing everything to follow Your will or just climbing aimlessly over these hills? So show me what it is You want from me I give everything I surrender" Verse 2 "Whatever You're Doing" Sanctus Real

I know that the God I serve parted the red sea, brought 3 men out of a furnace and not a hair on their head was singed and they didn’t even smell like smoke, moved a mountain, stopped time, brought a woman into a castle to save his people and most importantly sent Jesus to be the perfect example of how I am to live and he lived a sinless life. He made blind men see, healed leprosy and fed a huge crowd with just some loaves of bread and not nearly enough fish. He died and rose again and still lives today. That same God still works miracles in real life present day and I know this. God is bigger. I forget that all the time. I can get so focused on what’s not good that I forget to remember what is good. Sometimes I am so busy looking for the answer that I think I should get I miss the answer that I do get.

"My hope is in You, Lord All the day long I won't be shaken by drought or storm A peace that passes understanding is my song And I sing My hope is in You, Lord" Chorus from "My Hope is in You" Aaron Shust

I can honestly say that because of everything that has happened instead of putting my husband in the place of God I’ve really allowed God to be God in my life. I know that I see God’s hand in my life every day. I struggle with the fact that it’s scary to be in this place where I am because so much has happened in such a short period of time. Sometimes I find encouragement through a book, a blog post, an article. I never cease to be amazed when I'm listening to the radio and I hear just the song I need to hear for just that moment. "You are peace, You are peace When my fear is crippling You are truth, You are truth Even in my wandering You are joy, You are joy You're the reason that I sing You are life, You are life In You death has lost it's sting" Vs 2 from "Forever Reign" One Sonic Society

All the experiences from this year have brought me to where I am now. I have good days, bad days, good weeks and bad weeks. I am learning how to accept and appreciate my strengths, what I'm good at, what I can do, where I am at and where I am going! I know that God is in control. I know that life is a journey, and that the difficult times are when I experience the most personal growth. It's not always easy, and there are times when life is certainly not fun, but it's exciting to see what God is doing!

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43:18-19

Shopping

I've mentioned a few times how fabulously convenient the location of my office is. Yesterday I ran down to Blakeney where there is a fantastic Marshall's Home Goods store. I ran in and found 4 adorable little dresses for Girl Clean. I will keep 1 and return the other 3. They are for Easter, and they were all just gorgeous!!! The deal is my husband is picky and I figure of those 4 he will like 1.

Today I ran to Belks, I needed mascara. Of course I got sidetracked by the big sale. 50% off the lowest marked price, OH YES PLEASE!!! 3 dresses, for me, and one black sweater, for me, later I made it to the counter to purchase my mascara. The grand total for 3 dresses (1 of which is calvin klein) and a black sweater, $53!!!!!! I'm pretty much on cloud 9 and my whole Friday has been made!!!!

The other wonderful thing I saw, wedges. Spring shoes have lots and lots of wedges!!!! I love wedges because they give me height but they don't hurt my knees!!!

Friday

I love a week where I take off a day in the middle of it. This gives me plenty of time to catch back up and the week goes by so much faster!!!

I also took off from the restaurant this week. I knew Tuesday night would be long and difficult so I requested off for the rest of the week in order to give myself time to re-balance me. I was able to make dinner Monday, Wednesday and last night. Mr. Clean has been super busy and super exhausted this week so I was happy to take over dinner duty.

Last night I read a recipe that I thought sounded easy and fast. It was. Preheat the oven to 425; 3 cups bisquick, 3/4 cup water, mix and then spread into a greased 13x9 dish. Then I put tomato sauce and seasoned it with salt, pepper, garlic, and crushed red pepper, added a little cheese, added a lot of pepperoni, black olives, mushrooms and onions and then covered with cheese. Bake for 20 minutes, it was good!!! I had a ladies night at church so I knew whatever I fixed had to be fast and easy!

My Grandmommy is still not doing all that great. My mom and Aunt are taking turns staying nights with her. This leaves them both exhausted. It's hard to watch someone you love so much struggle like this.

Happy note, my oldest friend, who was my maid of honor, told me a few weeks ago that she is expecting. She is due on September 6. I have been SO EXCITED and I have not been able to say anything to anyone. They broke the news last night, YAY!!!!! I'm going to be an aunt again!!!!!! It's interesting hearing her woes of misery, and makes me completely ok with the fact that I skipped all that and went right to age 2.

Speaking of Girl Clean, I'm trying to think of what to say to people when I explain about my daughter. I hate the term step, it just has a negative implication. Is there any other way I can tell people I have a daughter but she's not my biological child, she's my husband's littler girl and she is mine too? I truly have not yet found a way that I like to explain and I'm wondering if there is an alternative term to step-daughter. Weekend child doesn't sound that great either.

I'm very excited for a low key night in, followed by coffee tomorrow morning with Jess, and then I'm pretty sure I'm picking Girl Clean up from her mom but I'm waiting to hear back the official word on this. Happy Friday!!!

A thought...

Last Saturday the world lost a great talent. I read an online article and I can't remember, nor find, the direct quote but a source said that while they were sad that it came as no surprise. Others have fired off the statement that someone with a drug problem should not be receiving the recognition that this individual is receiving.

I stated in a post earlier this week, addiction is a disease. Had this world famous musician died with the disease of cancer, diabetes, or some other socially acceptable disease then there would be less of a platform for people to stand on.

Throughout Hollywood, the music industry, the entertainment industry, and many other walks of life this disease of addiction runs rampant. It is prevalent in my job as a restaurant hostess. I see its marks not only on guests who come in but also on friends who I work with.

Perhaps because of my own personal real life experience I understand that someone suffering from the disease deserves my compassion, not my judgment. The disease itself can create behaviors that are unacceptable. There are many tentacles, (behaviors, bad decisions, abuse), that lead off because of this disease. The individual still has to face the repurcussions for their actions. Just because someone is suffering does not mean that others have to tolerate the unacceptable. For me personally I choose what I will and will not accept. I have choices and I make boundaries. I work a personal step recovery program that allows me the freedom to live my life and enjoy my life with peace and serenity. I have accepted that I am powerless and that a power greater then myself is what restores me to sanity.

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate only love can do that" Martin Luther King, Jr

recap, running, recipes

Whether you braved the crowds and went out or had a wonderful evening in I hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentines!!!

I left the full time job at 4 to be at the restaurant by 4:30. I was there at 4:20. I organized the coat check and reviewed the board. My manager had insisted that all time slots be unblocked. When you work with our seating system it is linked to the internet and people can make online reservations. In order to prevent big nights from being complete and utter chaos it is important to go in and block time slots, I learned this from my days at Ruth's Chris. I promptly went back through and blocked everything again. I understand the need to get people in the restaurant, I also know that angry people do not say nice things, they do not come back, and they tell ALL their friends how bad it was.

When Valentines falls on a weekday it means that your early seating between 5-6, when you can really push to increase numbers, is not usually as full as you would like it to be because everyone is at work. I carefully watched the guest waves and I took walk in guests, I took reservations, I also put my experience and intuition to work in order to manage the evening as best as I possibly could. We did go on a wait but it was within 30 minutes of reservation tiimes and on a night like Valentines this is perfectly acceptable.

My pet peeves for the evening...

The guy who sent flowers to the restaurant but did not make a reservation and he's just lucky he got a table. We actually put the flowers on another guests table because they had the same first name and we believed it was possible that someone could have misspelled the last name. Fortunately for the guy who sent the flowers that guest was honest and brought the flowers to us saying that this was not him.

People calling and thinking that I would have anything open on Valentines between 7-8pm. It's just not going to happen that hour fills up and then everything else gets booked around it.

People calling to make reservations for Saturday evening. REALLY????? You have to call me at 7:30 on VALENTINES to make a reservation for Saturday, or for NEXT WEEK???? COME ON!!! The other part about the phone calls, people were talking soooooo slowly. I wanted to reach thru the phone. I didn't have time to wait to hear full sentences. I threw people on hold a lot last night. Then I would quickly recap what they had told me and then tell them what I had available or answered the question.

It's another Valentines down. Mr. Clean and Girl Clean had a delightful Father Daughter princess date. They enjoyed Chick Fil A and went and painted a heart shaped ceramic jewelry box. Girl Clean got all dressed up and she looked so pretty!!! My husband actually put on a suit for the occasion. It was fun to see their evening in pictures!!!

I arrived home and my sweet husband had made biscuits and gravy and eggs. I had not eaten much yesterday and that comfort food hit the spot!!! He also had a beautiful card waiting for me and a box of chocolate. The big surprise was the gorgeous bracelet that he gave me!!! I was wonderfully surprised!!!

This morning I got to sleep in, which was so needed!!! I downloaded my free book from the Kindle Lending Library this morning. Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing to See. I have always been a Steven Curtis Chapman fan, and she uses verses of his songs through out the book. The book itself I loved!!! You feel as though she is speaking to you telling a story as you read. I really enjoyed it and I finished the book in 2 1/2 hours.

I made Scotcharoo's, think rice krispie treats without the marshmallow but peanut butter and chocolate instead. They are Mr. Clean's favorite. Then I took Jack for a run. It is so gorgeous here today!!! Tonight Mr. Clean and I celebrate both Valentines and we're celebrating a day early the 1 year anniversary of when we met each other.

I'm off to find some recipes to inspire me! Happy Wednesday everyone!!!

Thoughts on Valentines...

I have worked in many restaurants for Valentines. This has led me to believe that the best way to celebrate is at home, with pizza, or chinese, or something that you had fun making together.

I have worked in a Hallmark store during Valentines, this has led me to believe that cards are fun and I love any excuse to buy a good card.

I love the colors of Valentines, found in the bag of valentine's m&m's.

Growing up my mom always had fun decorations, and it's fun to buy her the valentine's themed dishtowels or decoration. Before I got married I had the same type themed stuff. My husband doesn't "do" seasonal decorations so our house doesn't have them.

Valentines is the day my Grandparents met so many years ago. Every year my Grandaddy brought my Grandmommy a box of Whitman's Sampler chocolate. This year my sweet husband had a heart shaped box of chocolate sitting on the bathroom counter with a picture of a princess and a frog and a note that said even though I'm still a frog I'm glad you kissed me, my opinion is he's not a frog, he just has a lot of warts!

I'll never forget my brother's frantic email about Valentine's in 2010 asking what he should do for Jelly since they had only just met. I told him the following year he could make a card but that year he needed to buy one so he wouldn't come across as cheap. I'll never forget that Sunday when he took Grandmommy and I to dinner for Valentines and told us all about her.

I think it's important to show those you love that you love them year round. I also think it's fun to have a day to celebrate hearts and chocolate and while I think the commerical hype is ridiculous I also think it's a good reminder to be nice to others and be happy even on a cold day in the middle of February.

In short form, the past few days

Today is the 3 year anniversary of Jack Banner's adoption. Best Valentine's present to me EVER!!! The little fur baby had a wonderful weekend. I dropped him off before work on Friday morning. My mom wasn't home, she had stayed with my Grandmommy, and Jack tore through the house trying to find her!

I stayed at my parents on Friday night because I worked Friday night, I had a race Saturday morning and then I worked on Saturday night. In between that on Saturday I met Mr. Clean and Girl Clean to pick out a card and present for his Grandmother and I stopped in to see my Grandmommy.

Friday night at the restaurant was fine. Not as busy as I expected but it went very smoothly.

Saturday's race was a lot of fun!!! My friend NH and her friend K and my friend CH and her friend C all ran this one. The start was uphill but the finish was downhill. My time reflects my lack of running these days.

Saturday afternoon my Grandmommy was in good spirits and she was delighted to see me. She does not remember the spells she is having and she did not understand why she was in a different room from her apartment. Over the weekend she stayed at the on campus nursing home where her apartment is. Over the weekend the floor where her apartment is located only has 1 nurse and with the uncertainty of my Grandmother's health we knew she needed more care. Today I think they are moving her back to her place.

Saturday at the restaurant I trained our new hostess. Then the evening started. It was not pleasant. It was not a good night. It could be because I had someone new, who is very smart, and quick to pick up on things, but still this was only her 2nd night. My other hostess is just not very fast. I went on a wait because we ran out of tables. I will say it again, it is possible to have several hundred people and not go on a wait when you manage time spots correctly. But when everyone arrives at around the same time, no one is leaving. It's stressful and I'm glad that these type nights are not the norm.

I was first out so I left around 8:45 and picked up Jack. Then drove home. Sunday morning I attended church solo and then we went to celebrate Mr. Clean's Grandmother's 86th birthday.

I tried to watch some of the Grammy's but I was tired so by 9:30 the bed was calling my name loudly!

I've been reading the different coverage about Whitney Houston. I will say this, addiction is a disease. The person may seek treatment and they may successfully stay in treatment, or they might not. As evidenced by this weekends loss, those who suffer from the disease of addiction can be wonderful, amazing, incredible individuals who are fabulously talented. This disease does not play favorites, it may be a world famous musician, the pastor at your church, the professor you loved, or someone in your family. The world lost an incredible woman over the weekend. My heart goes out to her daughter and her family!

Thankful Thursday

I’m thankful that my Grandmommy is back at her place.

I’m thankful that I have a 5K this weekend

I’m thankful that I WILL make it to the gym tonight

I’m thankful that I have amazing friends and family

I’m thankful that money worries usually work out one way or another

I’m thankful that there will be tax return money this year

I’m thankful that I gave Jack a bath last Saturday (although he wasn’t as thankful)

I’m thankful that February is a month full of fun times with friends and family

I’m thankful that I have a 1st and 2nd job

I’m thankful that I have a car that works

I’m thankful that we have a church I love

I’m thankful that when I feel stressed and overwhelmed I know where my source of strength comes from

I’m thankful that love never fails

I’m thankful that every day is a fresh start

I’m thankful for chocolate

I’m thankful for a husband who cooks most nights

I’m thankful for a cute baby girl who keeps us on our toes

I’m thankful that this winter we’ve had so many warm days so far

I’m thankful that the time change is coming soon!!!

I’m thankful that I’ve been saved by grace

Not goodbye yet

I know that goodbye will come but for now my Grandmommy is much improved. I just called my mom for an update. They have her blood pressure regulated and she's headed home sometime today.

Yesterday trying to talk to my mom for any information was not easy. My mom was understandably freaked out and therefor her ability to effectively communicate with me less than stellar.

I appreciate all the support. I am so thankful that for now I get to appreciate my Grandmommy a while longer.

Saying Goodbye

I wrote yesterdays post and I mentioned I had song lyrics rolling through my head. Apparently there was a reason.

My Grandmommy has always been a huge influence in my life. We said goodbye to my Grandaddy in 2008 and Grandmommy continued to live at the farm for a few more years.

November 2010 we got her all settled into her own space. She loved her apartment and her freedom and she made friends. That Christmas we hung out at my parents and had stockings and made memories.

Grandmommy made the several hour trip for Bean and Jelly's wedding. What an amazing special weekend that was. She glowed as she watched my brother marry the girl of his dreams. She looks healthy and happy in all the pictures.

That summer she spent a week at the lake house and I took a few days from work to spend time with her and my mom.

I'm not sure when she started fading so fast but it was last year when she started to seem so much more frail. My wedding she was there, and I'm so glad that she was able to be there to watch me get married.

Right before Christmas she walked into a wall and bruised her face badly. She no longer enjoyed having a space all her own. She preferred having someone with her on a regular basis. We had another Christmas where we made memories.

A few weeks ago we relocated my Grandmommy from where she was to a new space where she still has her own space, but she also has people on hand 24/7 if she needs them.

I received an email from my mom this morning that when they went to wake her up this morning they couldn't. Currently she is in the hospital with tests being run.

I'm not sure what will happen. I know that she hates being old. I know that she misses my Grandaddy. I know that she has been ready for a while to say goodbye. It's possible she bounces back and stays for a few more weeks, months, or years, it's certainly possible.

While I don't want to say goodbye, I also know that it's not forever. These particular words of the lyrics of the song continue to roll through my mind. "Through time you’ve been a friend to me But time is now the enemy, I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye...."

rolling through my head and weekend update

I had a song rolling through my head and I needed to get the lyrics typed out.

Here is where the road divides, here is where we realize
The sculpting of the Father’s great design
Through time you’ve been a friend to me
But time is now the enemy, I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye

But I know the road He chose for me
Is not the road he chose for you
So as we chase the dreams we’re after

Pray for me and I’ll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won’t you pray for me and I’ll pray for you
And one day love will bring us back around again

Painted on our tapestry, we see the way it has to be
Weaving through the laughter and the tears
But love will be the tie that binds us to the time we leave behind us
Memories will be our souvenirs

And I know that threw it all
The hardest part of love is letting go
But there’s a greater love that holds us

Pray for me and I’ll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won’t you pray for me and I’ll pray for you
And one day love will bring us back around

Won’t you pray for me and I’ll pray for you
Pray that we will keep the common ground
Won’t you pray for me and I’ll pray for your
And one day love will bring us back around
Oh I know that love will bring us back around again

Michael W Smith, “Pray For Me” lyrics

Last week was not easy. I said goodbye to one of my oldest friends. Our goodbye is not forever we have phones, email and facebook. I know that she’s still a part of my life.

I have been so incredibly blessed with friendships. Some are blogger turned IRL friendships and others are IRL friendships. Friday was a tough day. I had choices to make and I reached out and I asked for help. I am so very very very thankful for my friends who don’t judge but rather stand beside me and walk with me. They offer support and love. I’m thankful for my parents who offer unconditional love and support. They pray with me and support my choices, no matter what I decide.

Saturday morning I met up with my friend NH and we ran the Gold Rush 5K. The course was new this year and while a tough mostly uphill run, it was beautiful. I’m not a fan of running in rain, and it did rain, but the course itself is a good challenge. I beat my 2010 time by a minute. It was still not a fast run for me, but it was excellent preparation for the Cupid Cup 5K that I am running this coming Saturday!

After the race I gave Jack Banner a bath. He was starting to smell like a dog and he hadn’t had a bath in a while. He is not a fan but he forgave me and he looked very handsome!!

Saturday night for dinner Mr. Clean made an awesome chicken dish that had artichoke hearts, mushrooms, capers, and assorted other flavors, I pretty much licked my plate clean.

Sunday I picked up Girl Clean and she hung out at the house yesterday. I picked up Lisa from the airport and was able to quickly catch up with her. The visit was way short because of my schedule and I hope I see her longer next time! I had to have Girl Clean back so I got home and loaded Girl Clean up while Mr. Clean got ready for his super bowl party. I signed him up for the party at church. I told him he didn’t have to go but it was paid for if he wanted to attend. This allowed me a Sunday evening hanging out with just Jack, and we made rice krispie treats and watched How I Met your Mother on Netflix.

This week is the usual, work, work, hang out at home, work etc. Happy Monday all!!!

Thankful Thursday

Last week I did verses this week I was thinking about this post and what I wanted to do. I started thinking about words I’ve heard that I’m thankful for because they have brought me encouragement, strength and hope.

It was not so long ago I was walking around feeling angry most of the time. Through a lot of work on my part, and continued work on my part, I no longer feel so frustrated and mad. I still have bad days and this week particularly I’ve been struggling with saying good bye to my friend who is moving to Canada. In no particular order here are a few phrases that I appreciate!

“Live and Let Live”

"This too shall pass"

“What you think of me is none of my business”

“Don’t react”

“How important is it”

“When in doubt, don’t”

“Let go and Let God”

“Think”

“Easy does it”

“No is a complete sentence”

“Fake it till you make it”

“Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t say it mean”

“Let it begin with me”

“EGO - Edging God Out”

“Courage is fear that has said its prayers”

“ Progress not Perfection”

“Feelings are not facts”

There are more but these are the ones I probably use most often. I’m thankful that I know I’m right where I’m supposed to be!!

Review

I occasionally go in and read the reviews for the restaurant, this is one from Monday night

"Food was excellent. Service was not very American, at least for the night I went.

Made reservation for 8pm, arrived a little early(20 min), told to wait at bar. A few more groups showed, got seated, we were still waiting. 8:10pm, after complaining to hostess at 8:05, finally got seated. Not sure if pulling our cellphones out and started twitting had anything to do with it."

For real copied and pasted this.

"not very American" whatever that means, all our servers are American the food runners and bussers that evening were a mix of people.

Arrived a little early, 20 minutes. Other's sat before us. I WENT ON A WAIT AND I HAD RESERVATIONS IN FRONT OF YOU. Clearly you believe that the whole world revolves around you. Pulling out your cell phones and tweeting about it has no effect on me, I don't follow you and don't really care that you are annoying everyone with your whining on Twitter.

This is what it's like. I'm surprised that we did not have more reviews from Monday night. I was expecting to read a lot more reviews similar to this one.

update

Yesterday I told the story of what happened to my cousin. Further development the individual has no recollection of what happened and spent the night in jail. He lives not far away with his parents.

The best part, the dog was returned to his parents and is safe and sound at home.