5 Minutes

It's Wednesday and it's just been a crazy week!

Friday I left work at 12 and stopped by the grocery store on my way home. I was holding my breath that they would still have milk, they did! I picked up lasagna ingredients, a few things for Audra and headed home.

Daron met Amy and picked Audra up at 2, right when it was starting to get bad. The ice and sleet left everything around our house a solid sheet of ice. Audra's ballet class for Saturday morning was cancelled.

Saturday morning was actually sunny, so I was able to drive to the gym, I was careful but didn't have any trouble.

We took Audra to Big Lots to pick out something with her birthday money. She found a little finger nail polish bag gift set on clearance that she immediately wanted. We walked around with her just to make sure. Anytime she would see something different we would ask her which she wanted more. She paid with her money and had just enough.

The next stop was chick fil a for lunch, she loves it, Daron and I are not huge fans. So while she ate and played he went on to Walmart to pick up a few things.

Sunday was church followed by lunch at Daron's parents. We watched the latest Bourne movie that evening, despite not having Matt Damon I still really liked it!!!

Monday we had an internal career fair in our office. It was so interesting. I actually posted for a position and talked to a corporate recruiter today. She was very nice, and told me up front that she is pretty sure they have identified their candidate for the job. I knew that the post had been up a while so I'm not shocked by this. It would have been fascinating but she told me that this department has frequent openings because of the opportunities for advancement.

I made it to the gym Monday night. I did my Jillian workout DVD last night. I'm trying to stay consistent. I don't mind working out I just wish that I actually saw results, on my lower half.

I took a late lunch today because of my scheduled phone call so now I'm almost home free for the day. The office is waiting on me to be cleaned and then I have my last class at church tonight. It's been an interesting class series and I'm glad I've been able to go. It makes for a long day but it's worth it.

I somehow managed to break my 2 favorite pairs of sunglasses in the same day last week. I found a brown pair at Kohls that work, and I will probably try to find one more pair at Marshalls just to have a black pair.

Last week it was freezing cold and miserable, today they are calling for tornadoes, I wish the weather would stay cold and kill all the bugs!!!

Happy Wednesday!

reality, winter, Friday

It is hard to come back to reality after a few days off!

Tuesday night I had my meeting, I got caught up in a book so I did not get the workout DVD in that I planned on.

Wednesday night I cleaned the office. Our church is offering a class on Wednesday night that Daron and I are attending together, so I didn't get home until 9 on Wednesday night. No workout that night.

Last night I finally got a workout in. Abs and Booty blast, it wasn't super difficult but I feel like it was a good workout! The class was from 6:30-7:30, I got home did a load of laundry and then it was bedtime.

Charlotte is expecting a "wintry mix" today, which means that I'm sitting at my desk checking the weather periodically. Our roads are terrible when it comes to inclement weather. I'm planning to leave at 3. This means a workout DVD. I was supposed to pick up Audra this afternoon but I don't want to put her at risk by having her out on the roads. I trust my driving I do not trust the other drivers out on the road.

Tomorrow it's supposed to be clear, I'm hoping for a gym workout.

While I did keep up with working out on vacation, my eating has been ridiculous. Therefore any of the positive changes I noticed are now gone, SO FRUSTRATING!

Work is quiet, I haven't said that in a while, but this week it has been.

This time last week we were on our way to the beach, I am so glad we were there last weekend and not this weekend, this weekend is going to be so cold down there!

January Beach Trip

In true Lori fashion I have very few pictures of this trip. For Christmas Daron and I agreed to give each other a trip to the beach.

Last Friday morning we packed up his car and headed out to Myrtle Beach. To be specific Cherry Grove, North Myrtle Beach, but regardless of specifics, THE BEACH.

It snowed in our neck of the woods on Thursday night, after 4 days of pretty much constant rain. The snow during the thunder was pretty impressive!

We arrived at our hotel around lunch time. We unpacked and took a little tour of our place. I went to the gym and left Daron researching restaurants for dinner and watching food network. We don't have cable at home so one of our favorite parts about these little getaways is having cable.

The gym was small, the elliptical old but it worked for what I needed. I got my workout in, got a shower and then Daron and I headed out to Mr. Fish. We started with the fried green tomato tower, and it was awesome!!! He ordered shrimp and grits, they were yummy!!! I had a platter that included shrimp, crab balls, and fried oysters, it was delicious!!!

Saturday morning I got an excellent run in. The streets counted down for me, I started at 21 and turned around at Main street running down Ocean Blvd. The weather was cool enough that I wore long sleeves but not a jacket. Once I got showered and ready we headed out for lunch.

We were going to walk to the restaurant because it wasn't very far away. Well the restaurant we were going to try was closed for the season. So we walked further to try and find the store where we were going to purchase a little something for Audra. We finally turned around. There are so many different Ocean Blvd addresses that the map system on Daron's phone had trouble locating them. We ended up making sure that the directions we got were from the location website rather then the program on D's phone. We figured this out on Sunday, before we left on Monday…

Our walk turned into 5 miles round trip. I was wearing my comfortable boots, they are flats. Unfortunately I wasn't wearing socks, and I ended the walk with pretty much a blister on every toe.

We decided to have a very late lunch (translation dinner) at Banditos. They offered a hot wing challenge that Daron wanted to try. When we went to Lake Lure he ate the big Mother Load Burger and got a t-shirt. When we went to New Bern he ate the big Andy's burger, and got a t-shirt. So he felt that he needed to carry on this tradition.

We found a steak challenge. You had to eat an 80 oz steak along with a baked potato and salad in an hour or it was $70. I told him that while I have supported and encouraged I did not believe that he was capable of this challenge. So the wing challenge seemed to me a much more achievable challenge.

We arrived and our waitress was awesome. Daron explained that he wanted to try the challenge. The manager came out and he signed the waiver. They brought the wings out and once he started he had 5 minutes to eat them. He ate the 8 wings in 2 minutes and 40 seconds. The truth is I was concerned after he finished. He had at least 5 glasses of water, plus a glass of milk. It took him a long time to recover.

The wing sauce was made with something called a scorpion pepper which is apparently 1000 (or something like that) times hotter then a habanero pepper. I'm glad that after this challenge D has agreed to food amount challenges but no more spicy heat challenges.

He got his t-shirt, and bragging rights, and he's a happy camper.

Sunday morning we got up and went to a little breakfast buffet. It was not fancy but it was cheap. We got back to the hotel and I did the Jillian Michaels Thighs and Buns DVD. It's definitely a great workout! Then we went for a walk on the beach. It was so warm I was barefoot and wearing a t-shirt.

Sunday afternoon we headed in to Myrtle Beach to try Rioz. The Brazilian steakhouse had wonderful reviews. January they were running a Sunday special that the price was 1/2 and they opened at 12 instead of 4. We arrived at 3:30 and were quoted a 1 1/2 hour wait; fortunately we only had to wait about an hour.   

The restaurant had a huge salad bar in the middle of the dining room and there were all kinds of delicious salads, cheese, vegetables, shrimp, and sushi rolls. Then they had waiters circulating the restaurant with lots of different meats. They would serve you the meats that you wanted to try in small pieces. Everything was delicious!!!

We left stuffed!!! The rest of the evening we just relaxed.

Monday morning I went for my last walk on the beach. It was so gorgeous and such a great trip I did not want to come home. We are already talking about another trip so that we can take Audra with us!!!

knee issues, glitchy dvd's and Wednesday

I have done something to my knee, and I have no idea what. Monday night I went to the gym and eased into cardio on the elliptical. By the time I finished I was up to full speed but it took a while before I was able to get there.

It hurts, and it's stiff. I am trying to be really careful. Last night I slept with it propped up on a pillow.

I purchased the Jillian Michaels booty and thighs video on Saturday. We had a Best Buy $30 credit to use so I picked out the Jillian Michaels DVD along with a boot camp type workout DVD. Audra picked out Barbie, as Rapunzel.

Saturday afternoon she and I watched her new DVD and I noticed that there was a significant glitch about 3/4 through the movie. I took it out wiped it off, and started it again, but since we just opened it I didn't think that should happen.

Yesterday on my lunch I took the DVD back to the store that's down the street from my office. I walked in and there is an employee standing at the door greeting people. I explained that we had just purchased the DVD Saturday and that it had a skip in it. He takes the CD out of the case and asks if I’m aware that there are fingerprints on the DVD and this can cause skips. I gave him a look. I'm really not trying to pull one over on you for a Barbie DVD. I want a DVD that doesn't have a glitch in it. He directed me to the videos and I quickly found the replacement. Then I had to stand in line for a while because returns are handled at the Geek Squad desk. Fortunately they had an employee handling just returns.

Last night I tried my Jillian Michaels DVD. It is 3 30 minute workouts. The low level workout was actually very impressive and I liked it. The downside was that there were several moves I had to modify because my knee was not up to it. Today it does feel better so I'm hoping that whatever I did is healing and will stop being an issue.

Tonight I clean the office and then I'm going to try to make a 7pm class at church. I think I should be able to do this, so long as traffic cooperates and I can get in and out of the office fairly quickly.

Control

I have long struggled with a desire to control. It was a common theme in so many past posts. I liked for everything to be planned out. I liked to be able to look at a week and know what had to be done. I could be flexible, especially when it came to a workout plan. I was not afraid to let a friend know that I needed to reschedule something if I was just too tired.

Working 2 jobs pretty much required that I have everything on a calendar or I would likely miss things. I've always known weeks out what I had on my schedule. I could book things out, and I didn't have to answer to anyone about that schedule.

I remember when I was dating CF&G that I struggled with his ex, and how she did things. It was an area that I just couldn't control. I had to accept that it was what it was, and I couldn't change it. She was an evil conniving vindictive mean individual and she was not going to change, ever.

I dated guys and dumped them, in a wash, rinse, repeat cycle. I had, essentially, a revolving door love life. You can't control other people, at least not for long, and I didn't even try, but when things were no longer going the way I wanted them to I would move them on out.

In the past 2 years I met Daron, got engaged, got married, and got through the first couple months, barely. I got into Al-Anon, and started working on me. One of the very first things you hear in Al-Anon is that you didn’t cause the disease of alcoholism, you can't control the A, and you can't cure the disease. You can only focus on you, your reactions, your perspective, and how you handle your life.

So, essentially, in the past 2 years I've learned a lot about letting go of what I thought I controlled but never did. I have a job, for which I'm thankful. I can control my productivity. I can take the proper steps to make sure that I show up on time. I can make sure that I take the actions to continue to fulfill what is expected of me. I can't control the length or time that I have this job, that's out of my hands.

I can listen to my friends as they share trials and tribulations and tough things that are going on. I can't fix anything. I can't make the situation go the way that we wish it would go.

I wrote Friday about my unsettled feeling. I prayed Sunday that in certain areas God would move me out of His way so that He could do what He needs to do. One of these areas is the relationship between D and I and Audra's Mom. We are all on the same team, wanting the best for Audra. What is so tough is that sometimes things that are incredibly important to D and I, school, is not as much of a priority for her mom. It's different perspectives and different ways of looking at things. It's not that we are right and she is wrong or vice versa it's just different perspectives.

When it comes to my sdaughter I love her dearly. I truly want what's best for her. In my mind a huge factor is going to be school and her educational foundation. Education is how you are able to move through life. I might not be floating through life with no worries but I was provided an education that has allowed me to be where I am today in my career. I don't even have that important of a position but if I didn't have my background I would not have this job. I have watched my cousin excel and she is currently in law school and I know that she will continue on and do great things. My cousin received an educational foundation that is rock solid. She will make her own choices and decisions, but she has a foundation that gives her the ability to make the best choices and decisions.

Last night as I was driving home from the gym I was praying again. I just find myself spinning about school and the fact that it's a huge deal to D and I and where will she go and how will we make sure that she is at school everyday. It's just this ongoing tape inside my head. I was reminded that she isn't mine. First and foremost she is a gift to be taken care of and we have her only a short while, but she is the Heavenly Father's and He loves her more then any of us, her earthly parents, can imagine. Then I was reminded that this is not my battle to fight. This is between her Dad and her Mom. I need to stay out of it. I can have questions and concerns but at the end of the day this is not my fight.

I have a unique position. I am mom, but I am not. I am a huge part of her life, but I'm not. I walk in a role that is always changing, and never defined. I know that she loves me and I love her. I understand that I have promised to love her as my own, and I do. The always changing yet never defined part is what is so difficult for me. I always wanted control, definition, set plans, and to know what was going to happen next as much as that was possible. I want to step in and say this is how it should be and make it so. I don’t have that right, it's not my place.

There are factors in life that I know I have control over, these involve me directly. There are so many more areas in which I do not have control. I can look to make the best decisions and choices. I can pray in situations I'm unsure about. At the end of the day, I know that worrying about tomorrow will only take away from the joy of today. In this 2013 I want to strive to let go of what I know I can't control and work to change the things that I can.

5 Minutes

Friday night I picked Audra up. We played dress up, we danced, we watched Cinderella, or she watched it I fell asleep.

Saturday morning I was up early for a run. I didn't go, it was so foggy and weird outside and it was still dark and I just decided to stay in and read. Then I got ready and got Audra up and ready. We don't leave for her class until 9:15 but I have to wake her up at 7:15 so she's awake by the time class starts.

I wish my gym opened earlier then 8 on Saturday morning, then I would actually be able to go when I don't want to run outside. It's just selfishness on my part I know.

After ballet we went home to pick up D and then headed over to Northlake. We had an errand to run and then went for lunch. Audra is pretty much the pickiest eater ever but put 6 nuggets and fries in front of her from Chick Fil A and she will eat it all.

A month or 2 ago I saw a groupon or living social deal for a little girl spa experience. I told Daron we should do that for part of Audra's birthday. So he purchased it and set up the appointment. We took her on Saturday afternoon and she loved having her finger and toe nails painted along with having her hair styled and her makeup done. It was a lot of fun to watch!

I had nursery Saturday night for the 7 service. I was in the 2 to 3 1/2 year old room and I just had one little girl. They asked me to go down to the baby room because she had 3 babies. It worked out that it was my friend and I had the best time! We had 2 toddlers and 2 babies and I enjoyed my baby fix for the evening (or the month).

Sunday morning I got up and Jack and I went for a 4 mile run. It was dark outside but not foggy the way it was Saturday morning. The weather was balmy which for January is nice, but I'm really hoping we get some significant cold weather to kill off the mosquitoes!

Church was awesome. Followed by lunch at D's parents. Then I took Audra back to her mom's and made a Target stop.

I'm not feeling as unsettled as I was on Friday. I am not sure what work will be required for my condo. If painting is required then I will likely drag Daron and we'll do that together. I can't afford to pay someone this time. I know we'll need to handle it asap. I know that there is no point in stressing over tenants. I also realize that school for Audra is still a year and a half away and while we do need to think about it and know deadlines for registration there is no reason to stress over it.

I finished my performance review, that was a huge chore! Hopefully I covered everything and didn't leave anything out! I am curious what this year will hold career wise, I know that any changes that happen will totally be a God thing!

Happy Monday!!!

Long Week!

It's Friday, yay!!! It has been a really long week. Having 2 short weeks in December was awesome!

If I could sum up how I've felt this week it would be one word, unsettled.

I'm honestly not sure where or why I'm feeling this way. I know that Monday I was talking to Daron about school for Audra and while it's still a year and a half out, I have this strong desire to control. I know I can't control this, I know that it's not in my hands. I very much want Audra to have the amazing foundation of a good education. I grew up in private Christian school, and while there are negatives, overall, I think it would be the best option for her, provided we choose the right school. The public school system here leaves A LOT (and then some) to be desired.

I know that my tenant moves at the end of the month. I know that my property manager will do her best to have someone new in the place as soon as possible. I know that God already has it under control. I still don't like the knowledge that I won't have someone in the place.

I had to do a presentation on Wednesday. I did fine, but not great. I could have done better but I didn't take the time to work on it and I paid for that when it created confusion in my presentation.

Work this week has been crazy busy! I've felt overwhelmed. I had a meeting with my manager yesterday and got called out for internet usage and texting at my desk. Technically this makes the 2nd verbal warning for internet, I am trying really hard to cut way back. I like my job, I need my job, I need to be more aware.

Last night I went to the abs and booty class. I almost didn't go because I contemplated a run. Then I realized that next week I won't be able to make any of my favorite classes so I decided to go anyways. I'm glad I did, it's a great toning workout!

Happy  Friday!!!

Kicking it

Yesterday at lunch I took back the running shoes I bought last week. I tried them on a treadmill, I tried them outside. Both times they hurt, and not in an I'm running and ugh I hate running kind of way but in a these shoes are not right kind of way. I've been running long enough to know that these were just not going to work out.

Fortunately I was able to return them with no hassle, I think it helped I had the receipt and I had just purchased them last week. I then went and tried on several pairs until I found a pair that I think will work. We will see, I may get a run in tonight after I clean the office I don't know yet.

Last night I went to one of my favorite classes, chair fit. She kicks butt in this class, literally. I am sore today, in that good, wow I worked really hard, kind of way. We start off warming up, move to arms, move to abs, move to arms and legs, and we work everything.

Tonight I clean the office. If I'm not too wiped out I will go to the gym. The resolutioners are usually out by 7:30 so this time of year that's when I go. Nothing against them, I think it's awesome that people want to get healthy for the new year. I also realize that most will fall off the wagon, but there are those who stay with it and make it a lifestyle.

Currently I'm at my desk thinking, oh my gosh my legs and arms hurt, it's going to be a fun day I can tell...

Working out minus the results

Yesterday at work I kept hearing, you look like you've lost weight. Except I haven't the scale number says exactly the same thing, too much.

I'm glad Hailey posted a while ago about starting a workout and why the weight may not change. Except if you look at my calendar I started working out on a regular, very regular, basis in October, so I wish that my body would throw me a bone, I mean come on!

I know Patrice and I talked about weight and working out, and for both of us, it takes a long time before the scale ever gives us any indication of weight loss. In fact last Monday was the last time I stepped on the scale because it's lack of downward movement creates a lack of motivation for me. She told me I shouldn't have been on the scale since I was strength training that morning and she and I both know that changes your weight temporarily.

I went to the gym last Monday morning. I planned to run Tuesday but it was raining and the gym didn't open until 12 and I had to be in High Point at 2. I planned to go to the gym Wednesday but I got home from cleaning the office and I ended up not going. Thursday night I made it to the gym for a run, but Friday night I had to pick up Audra. Saturday afternoon I made it to the gym, and Sunday afternoon I made it out for a run.

Last night I got back to my Sassy Girl Fitness place. Daron bought me a groupon which has almost run out but my MIL bought me another one for Christmas. I am so happy to be able to keep going, I love love love this place!!! Last night I took a video vixen class. It's basically a dance workout, I have no rhythm, but I had a blast!!! Tonight I'm taking the chair fit class. It's a tough toning workout and I have definitely seen results!

5 Minutes

After 2 weeks of fun holiday festivities I am back to a full 5 day work week, fun...

Friday afternoon I picked Audra up and we talked all the way back to the house. Conversations with a 4 year old can be great fun! We arrived home and she hugged her Dad then she and I headed out to Walmart to pick up a few things.

She wanted a cat costume, not to be found in January at Walmart so she settled on a hello kitty purse instead.

We let her open one of her birthday presents, Brave. She and I love that movie and that's what we went to sleep to on Friday night.

Saturday morning I was up early to clean the bathroom. I gave Jack a bath first. He didn't poop before the bath, so in retaliation for the bath he pooped in Audra's room instead. Lovely.

I woke the girl up and got her read for ballet. We both had fun, she in her class, me talking to the mom's. After ballet I took Audra to Concord Mills to return some things and meet up with my parents. She and I had lunch with them and then she got to open their birthday presents for her. Mom treated her to a ride on the carousel and she was thrilled!!! The trip to the Disney store, icing on the cake!

While we were gone Daron put together the Ikea wardrobe and book shelf. I have pictures on the camera that I will load eventually. Daron's parent's contributed to the lamp, and her room looks awesome. She was so excited all she could do was laugh when she saw her room.

After the room excitement we had to follow Daron to the car place, make a trip for groceries and then they hung out at home while I went to the gym. Saturday evening Daron made dinner while I snuggled with Audra and then we let her open the cards from her grandparents and the rest of her presents, a pair of boots and a sleeping beauty dress.

Sunday morning I got up and got me ready. Then I got Audra up and ready. We went to church. Amy joined us, which I love that she loves our church as much as we do! She said that Audra's brother ran into his class, which is so cool!

After church we went over to Amy's for a lunch and then birthday cake. Audra turns 4 today. We had lunch, birthday cake and then she opened the presents from Amy and her parents. Audra promptly stuck her finger through the icing on both cakes, while it's true you are only 4 once, I picked her up and away from the cakes because I think you still need to be polite to everyone else. I didn't say anything just picked her up.

Last week Amy had asked about getting together with Daron and I and her brother's Dad for a time of prayer for the new year. So yesterday for lunch we had a 2 fold purpose. Celebrating Audra, and also there would be a time of prayer.

If you looked at the group, to everyone else, it's got to be a very unusual set up. Ex Husband, Baby Daddy and Baby Daddy wife, and then Amy's parents. Yet, for us, this is our normal. The time of prayer was just so special. We prayed for Audra and her brother as well as our parenting and the plans God has for the new year. I felt so blessed by it all.

We left and I had just enough day light left to get in a run with Jack. He was a super happy camper! Then the rest of the night we just relaxed.

This year is already off to an amazing start! Happy Monday!

Balance

Honesty time. Sometimes I can be really mean, especially to my husband. Now that life has changed so much and I no longer fear the crazy psycho monster created by the A disease I find myself with less tolerance then ever. It's not exactly a shining admission on my part and I am definitely going to have to work on this. I realize.

Thursday night I got a text from Patrice regarding baby L's baptism. I passed the information along saying that this is going to happen on March 17. To which I unintentionally opened the "discussion" of schedule for the millionth time. This is an ongoing debate in my house. I may have sold/donated most of my clothing, a lot of my furniture and various other material possessions but I don't move on the topics of Jack, Family and Friends. I do a good job of allowing time for Daron and Audra. I know that I am very fair when it comes to how much time I take away from them. D doesn't see it the same way I do and we have a pretty much constant disagreement on the subject.

Thursday night I was so not in the mood and in order to end the conversation I gave nothing and finally was able to get him to stop talking so I could go to sleep. I went to sleep incredibly mad, which means that I woke up early, and tired, and mad. I didn't handle it well, at all. I reacted, quite strongly. I may have did play the I'm done card. Because when it comes to this I do feel so strongly and I will not budge and I have said I will not discuss it any longer.

In reality the I'm done card is not exactly fair. Things are too positive and there are too many good things for me to just walk on this topic. Yes it's a very big topic, and no I do not plan to neglect friends and family. I need to handle my reaction. Because this is so important to me I immediately come out swinging. I spent the first 3 months we were married trying to figure out how to navigate and it was only when I reached out and asked for help that I started to feel like my head was above water.

I created an email outlining the next 12 months. I explained what trips I would like to take, and when (2 one in April one in August). I stated I would be running races most months. I said that things come up, people come to town, and I want to make sure I see friends when they are here.

He states that time moves so fast and I'm going to miss things with Audra because she is only this way once. He has no idea that I am fully aware of this and have long known how quickly time moves and how fast things change. What I recognize is my need to have time away. I realize that my family dynamic is not typical. I make time to go to school events. I make time to have Audra during the week. He doesn't want me to take weekends because that takes away, and yet I don't see it that way. 2 weekends out of a year is necessary. Saturday morning races, are necessary.

Despite the unpleasant beginning on Friday morning this weekend actually turned out to be an awesome weekend. I'm hoping I was finally able to get through my point. I understood his points. I certainly don't take time for granted. I know that I have to do better in holding my ground yet not being an all out witch about it. There is a balance to this that I am definitely still learning!

Edited to add: When it's all said and done, I don't let him be mean to me, I don't tolerate it, so therefore I have to show him the same respect and I need to not be mean to him, that is unacceptable behavior on my part.

Condo

If there is one absolute lesson that I've learned in 2012 it's that God is in control. He already knows our needs and has provided.

I've also learned that His timing is not mine, and that most often there is growth in the wait. Sunday's message at church was titled God of the Impossible. The story was Abram and Sari and how God waited and fulfilled His promise to Abram in His time.

This morning I arrived at work to a lot of email. One of the emails was from my property manager. My tenants are moving out January 31.

What I am reminded of is the timing. My last HOA assessment was paid on January 1. I have been using the rent income to cover the assessment. Last August they signed a 6 month lease. God provided.

While it's disconcerting to know that the place is opening up I can't look at it from a place of concern or worry. I simply know that before I left I asked a blessing over each room. I prayed that all who stay there will be blessed and if they didn't know the Lord, they would come to know Him.

I prayed that my condo space will be a blessing to others. I have tithed the rent income faithfully. I know that sitting and worrying is not conducive and not necessary. I'm supposed to turn this over and know that this is all happening in His timing, and I can trust that He has all the details arranged.

2012

January: Audra turned 3. I worked out with a trainer and couldn't move normally for a week. I was full of hope for the coming year along with a lot of uncertainty concerning what the year held.

February: I told Daron I was leaving after a week of fighting the first week. It had reached an escalation point that was ridiculous. I stayed gone a night and after a long apology on his part I came home. Daron had his cooking class that I bought him for his Christmas present. Valentine's week I only worked at the restaurant Valentine's night so I had a week where I only worked 1 job and it was wonderful! My Grandmommy went into the hospital and I truly believed we would be saying good bye but instead she went into the rehab center.

March: I ran the Shamrock 4 miler race. The next day I left Daron for 2 weeks. The truth is I don't regret leaving. It was necessary. Nothing was changing and we couldn't keep moving forward in the place where we were stuck. I had a lot of support to leave. I also had support to do what was right for me. I took the 2 weeks to pray. I knew that it wasn't over and that I would be going back.

April: I was home. We still had challenges but things where so much better then they had been in the entire 10 months of our marriage. I ran a 10K and the CPCC skyline 5K race, which I had a really decent time on. Daron's mom had her birthday, I went to a baby shower, it was spring time in the Carolina's.

May: I took my CIC class, and I failed the test. I'm actually debating if I'm going to continue trying for that designator. I had a trip planned for the weekend of the 25th to visit Jess. I had to rain check it. We said goodbye to my Grandmommy on May 25th, she went home and we rejoice knowing that she is in the presence of the Heavenly Father.

June: I celebrated my 1 year anniversary. It wasn't an easy year, in fact the challenges and struggles I faced could be overwhelming. I knew that it was by God's grace that we celebrated that milestone. I ran the King Tiger 5K race. My Dad celebrated his birthday. We had the baby shower for Patrice and baby L. Then Patrice went into the hospital as they worked to keep baby L baking a while longer. They kept him waiting a week and at 30 weeks Patrice welcomed her new little man into the world. I just told her he's impatient like his mommy and he was ready to make his arrival with a bang, he succeeded! June we made the trip to Ohio where I met friend's of Daron. We had a really great trip and I'm so glad we had the opportunity to go!

July: We had Audra for the first week. We celebrated Daron's birthday. We celebrated the 4th of July. Grandmommy's birthday was July 11 and the day passed with a few thoughts of her. I ran a 4 miler race on July 4 and it was crazy hot!

August: We had my parent's to our house for dinner. It went as smoothly as possible and I was thankful. Nicole took Daron, Audra and I to lunch with her bf and his girls for my birthday. We met Brian and Jenny for dinner in Salisbury. I made sure that I planned an awesome birthday week for myself. There was no way I was going to let Daron forget my birthday again!

September: We had Audra over labor day weekend and that was a lot of fun! I ran the Hit the Brixx 10k with Nicole. Brian and Jenny told me that they were expecting a baby, and I couldn't say anything yet.

October: I went to Florida to see Patrice and meet Baby L. It was an awesome trip!!! I had my 15K race with Nicole, that we successfully ran. I helped my friend Vada celebrate her 30th birthday. My friend Christi's little girl had her first birthday.

November: We celebrated our 2nd Thanksgiving together. The Saturday before we were able to join my parents and Brian and Jenny for lunch. The Friday after Thanksgiving Audra and I helped my Mom put up and decorate the Christmas tree.

December: We were gearing up for Christmas. I went to Durham to see Dr. Margaret and had an absolute blast going to wine tastings and out for a delicious Sushi dinner. That following Monday I was able to go to Audra's preschool Christmas performance. That next weekend I picked Audra up at 2 on Friday and she got to open her Christmas presents from my parents and then we decorated Christmas cookies. We opened Christmas presents with Daron's family on Sunday. Monday morning we had our Christmas with Audra. Amy arrived at 2:30 and we opened presents with her. That night, Christmas Eve, I was able to be with my family and it was amazing!!! I am so thankful I was able to be there!!!

Christmas morning Daron came for breakfast and then we opened presents with my family. Yesterday, New Years Eve, I was able to spend the day with Patrice, which was awesome. Then Daron and I enjoyed a Mexican dinner and spent a quiet night at home. I was asleep by 11, didn't quite make it to midnight but I'm OK with that. I loved not having to work on NYE night!!!

2012 has been a year of soaring highs, and low lows and through it all God has been good and He is faithful. As we start this first day of 2013 I have no idea what the future holds, but I know one thing for sure, God has a purpose and a plan, and He knows where this year will take me!

Happy New Year!