Yesterday the thoughts in my head were swirling. I was trying to figure out how I know when I'm truly wrong, and when I'm not. Which sounds like it should be black and white but it's not.
Last night at my meeting the topic was on step 9, which is making amends. Which after listening it clicked. This will be how I figure it out. Because there's a process to it and I suddenly felt my fog lift.
I also shared about the story from Thursday and there were some really great points. Questions like what had happened before and what was the real issue. Well earlier that day I had expressed that if we had dated longer then we wouldn't be married. Which caused hurt feelings. Then that just boiled over.
Making amends is not necessarily apologizing. There's a difference. There was also a statement about forgiving yet not forgetting which is also necessary. If they keep doing the same thing over and over and you keep letting them then that's not a healthy pattern. Instead if you choose to forgive but then remove yourself so that they can't keep doing the same thing again, that's healthy. I'm learning.
I will say that coming out of my meeting I was in a much better mental place then when I went in!!!
This morning driving to work was challenging. Not because of traffic but because I was struggling to stay awake. I had the window down. I was doing everything possible to keep myself alert. Once I arrived at work I took a 15 minute nap and that helped. I left 10 minutes earlier then usual because I wasn't sure what traffic would be like.
Our office is under high security I actually had to use my badge to even get in the front door. One more day and then life will return to normal!
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