Life

I got home last night and took Jack to run sprints. Basically after the 5th or 6th one he starts looking at me like I'm crazy. I can't run long with him because it's too hot for him. 15 minutes of consistent running and then I took him inside.

I had to cancel my weekend trip and I am so incredibly disappointed. My Grandmommy was admitted to ICU on Sunday evening. I kept expecting to hear that she is improving and while she is stable she is not responsive. They determined that she is experiencing congestive heart failure, possibly pneumonia and she failed the swallow test yesterday.

When I spent time with my Mom and Grandmommy on Mother's Day weekend my Grandmother was loopy and very very tired. She can't hear, she can't see, her body hurts all the time. I know that everything happens in His time, and I've been praying that she will find comfort and peace in Him during this time.

She could improve again and stay here a while longer. We are all just taking it one day at a time.

When I got home yesterday and asked Mr. Clean how his day was he made sure to point out that it didn't start off very well at 6 that morning. I thought to myself yes well you brought that one on yourself. I'm working on my attitude.

We have agreed to disagree on the subject of me traveling. He believes that I should be there on weekends because we have Girl Clean and we should both be there and be a family. What he fails to understand and what I tried to explain, Girl Clean has Mommy. I'm L. When she's with us she needs Daddy. I'm there, and I love her. When she is with us I usually do the majority. There is no court set visitation, it was a mediated agreement. The agreement states every other weekend although Amy is really amazing about letting us see her every weekend.

I know what a court ordered visitation schedule is like. I've lived it. C would drive every Tuesday evening to pick up G. Then every other weekend he would pick her up and her Mom would pick her up on Sunday evening. There was no variation. Vacations had to be cleared well ahead of time.

More often then not it's my husband who I don't agree with over the whole visitation situation. I get that you're tired, and that you don't have any energy, I don't really care. It's my opinion that time should be made one night during the week to see Girl Clean. Weekends suit up and show up to be Dad. It's not complicated.

There have been so many positive changes but it's easy for me to let myself get frustrated and enmeshed in what's wrong. I know that it's taken time to see the positive changes. I know that every day brings new growth and change. I know that I have to let go of my frustrations and aggravations and I will continue to plan for time just for me so that I preserve my sanity.