Believing it and Acheiving it

On my mind recently, and often is how I wish I had known "then" (before I got married) what I know "now". This is in regards to how my perspective has changed because of all that has happened in the past 11th months since my wedding.

There is the factor of growing up I give my Grandfather a LOT of credit for me even realizing I was going to college. When I was 13 he started asking me about it. To this point I had never thought about it. I had no idea what to study. I had no idea what kind of career I wanted, because to be truthful all I knew was business, where you went to an office, doctor or medical professional where you had to be good at science and math, teachers and service industry type jobs.

My plan was to go to college and then become a flight attendant so I could travel. I went with the communications/public relations degree not because I thought I would land a career but because the math requirements were minimal and I had always been able to write papers fairly well, minus punctuation and grammar.

I truly wish that someone would have taken the time to help me explore different jobs and different industries and opened my eyes to the wide range of jobs and careers available. I had no idea why I needed some kind of idea for my future. I think in the back of my mind it was because for some reason I thought that I was just supposed to get married, have children and stay home. Which is what my mom did with us. Then she volunteered in our schools and worked her way into a job at both schools my brother and I attended. I'm glad my Mom stayed home. I follow lots of blogs, some Mom's stay home, others don't. This isn't about that. My point is that growing up what I thought I was supposed to do wasn't even an option. I didn't date through high school or college, so the get married young and have children option was not a possibility for me. That being said I know those whose path took them that way and they have not had the happily ever after story. Everyone has a different story that is uniquely theirs.

In reading back over my story it's evident that I had a lot of growing up to do. It's evident that I was often attracted to individuals who were not necessarily good for me. I can't say if xy and z had been different then the outcome would have been ______. I simply don't know. I do know that I wish I knew that it would have been ok to have decided I didn't want to get married. I wish I knew that the fear I had about being old and not married was ridiculous and I could create a fantastic life for myself. I wish I had realized a long time ago that I was extremely capable of taking care of myself and I didn't NEED anyone to do this. I'm at a place now where I do like my life. I am happy. I do appreciate all my blessings. I'm aware that I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm not negating what I have. I am aware that for a lot of years I believed things that just were not true.

I'm not a dumb person. I will say that I tend to be extremely lazy when it comes to work. I will find the easiest way possible and I'm a horrible procrastinator. If I don't want to do it I won't. I finally learned by my senior year of college how much I hated pulling all nighters and I did actually start to get my work done ahead of time so that I was not so utterly miserable with the after effects of no sleep because I was right at a deadline. I learned that I could copy and paste from previous papers and reuse the same sources numerous times, like I said I can be lazy.

I remember in an interview I was asked where do you see yourself in the next 10 years. Which I learned just last week is not really a question that you can or should ask during an interview. While in theory it sounds like a good question the legal requirement is that you can only ask questions pertinent to the job description. However being the 24 year old I was at the time I answered the question. I answered honestly too, I see myself married with kids. Amazingly enough (it's a God thing) I landed that job still. Which it just hit me as I typed that I am now married with a kid and I'm 32...

Back to my point. I graduated from college and the airline industry was not hiring... What in the world was I going to do? I had waitressing experience and retail experience and a college degree in a job market that was not strong. I took an internship and a few part time jobs. I spent 2 weeks in a call center, it was horrible. I was offered a position as a front desk receptionist for a staffing agency and I jumped on it. I spent the next 11 months learning how to read fake social security cards, entering data and answering 7 phone lines.

I left that job to take a bridal consultant job in a high end bridal salon. I thought I was moving to my dream job. Turns out, not so much. The bridal salon is still there, and up until the manager left I used to go back and help on the floor on the occasional Saturday. I just was not a strong sales closer. I'm not a sales person, never have been and I never will be. I understand this about myself. When the management and I realized that I was not quite the right fit for the position I contacted the staffing agency. They sent me on the interview where I was asked where do I see myself in the next 10 years.

I started working for that company in September of 2003. That is how I fell into insurance. I had no idea that I could work in an industry that I would understand and even like. I had no idea that I could pursue further education through gaining my agents license and designators. I worked for that particular company from September of 2003 until June 2006. I had a fantastic opportunity to go work for a large agency, moving from the carrier side to the agency side. I loved that job, unfortunately they were closing my department. So I accepted an offer for another agency. While it was honestly the most miserable, horrible, awful experience in some aspects there were good points. I was there from May 2007 until October 2009.

I filled out a form last week that asked me how long I've been in the industry. I added it up (on my fingers since math is so not my thing) and realized I've been in this business for 9 years this September. I started off data entry, and worked my way up to where I am today. There are so many directions and opportunities that I could and can take. I think about how thankful I am to be where I am.

Sunday my nieces, who are almost 13 and 9, were discussing what they want to do when they grow up. Apparently they both want to be dentists. I told them that if it's really what they want to do then that's awesome. I also mentioned that there are lots of opportunities and that college is definitely important. I want them to realize that there is more to life then just graduating from high school and accidentally getting pregnant. I want them to realize that if they believe it they can achieve it. For my own daughter I want her to grow up knowing that she has options. I want her to understand that she should always shoot for the moon because even if she doesn't reach it she will still be among the stars!