Looking Back

It's no secret I dated a lot before I got married. I'm pretty sure I never thought much about how that would affect my thoughts and feelings once I got married.

I had no idea that I would think so much about the past guys in my life. Not with longing or wishing for what might have been but rather in a reflection of what I learned from them.

I broke up with guys for a reason. I always had good reasons. I have no regrets in looking back on the decisions that I made. For a long time it was a running family joke that I would change jobs and boyfriends at the same time. Then I started actually staying with my jobs and just started changing the boyfriends.

In all honesty I'm so glad that I dated at much as I did. I was thinking about this the other day. I realized that if I hadn't dated as much as I had I would always wonder about what else might be out there. I might have been more willing to walk away last year when things were so awful.

I had dated so much that I realized that maybe there was something with me that needed to change. I understood I needed to figure some things out about myself.

I have 2 friends going through divorces. One is dating again. She's sharing her stories and experiences and I listen. When asked I share my thoughts. I think if I hadn't dated as much as I had I might have found myself jealous of her new opportunities. Instead I find myself thankful that I'm not in her shoes. I know for her she made the choice that was right for her. I think she's enjoying these new opportunities. I'm a willing supporter of her.

I would never ever suggest or advise anyone to get married within the time frame that I did. There is so much to be said for knowing someone for a year. I felt like I didn't have that kind of time. I thought I knew the person I was marrying. It's said that you can't really know a person until after the wedding anyways. I don't know if this is true or not.

I do know this. I'm thankful that I dated the way that I did. Despite the heartache and frustration and drama, it brought me understanding and the ability to evaluate what does and does not work for me. I appreciate the ability to look back on lessons learned with the freedom of knowing that everything worked out for the best.