Reflection in verses

When I think back over the years this reference has been one of my main stays. It is no accident that these verses are often a running banner going through my mind whenever I’m in uncertain circumstances.

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

This past year as I was starting to navigate dating again these verses became a focus because I know where my trust is. I know that when I left D I trusted fully in the Lord. I knew that He would provide, that He was leading me, and that He was faithful and true. Once everything finalized I entered a new season and suddenly I was having to trust Him once again in a way that I never had before.

“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD GOD is an everlasting rock.” Isaiah 26:3-4

For years I have loved these verses. Even when I was doing an incredibly lousy job walking it out I have known that when I seek the Lord I find Him. My desire is to continue seeking Him every day with all that I have. Everything that I do, everything that I have should flow from this concept of seeking Him with everything in me.

“Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:12-13

When I put God first I don’t have to be anxious. I don’t have to worry. I don’t have to struggle or strive. He has provided for my every need. He knows what my future holds.

“But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Mathew 6:33-34

I recognize how far away I’ve been from God. I recognize how far I’ve come. I’m thankful that God has never left me. I understand how undeserving I am and how great His love is. I want to love others because I want them to know and understand how much more the Father loves them!

“And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”  Matthew 6:37-38

“You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.” Deuteronomy 6:5-6

When I was married these were key verses. I wanted to make sure that my focus remained positive, even when it was incredibly difficult. I had these verses written out and in front of me so that I would remember them. After I left and as I was moving through the journey these verses remained a focus. Then I started dating again and once again I found the need to focus on my praises, and what I’m thankful for.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” Philippians 4:8

In September of 2014 I had a prophecy spoken over me that I will succeed in everything I do. I’ve seen this being fulfilled as I walk in His word and in His grace. He provided an open door to begin working with victims of trafficking. He provided an open door for a new job opportunity. He provides for me every step of the way and I trust in His promises and His word.

“Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night. He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.” Psalm 1:1-3

“Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose trust is the Lord. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7-8

This is more recent, although I’ve always loved these verses. I wrote about what true love is and how much God loves us. I have a deeper appreciation and understanding for what it means to love, and not hold back, and not be fearful. I’ve come to understand that when I trust the Lord with my whole heart, when my heart is completely tied to His I don’t have to fear because He will guard and protect my heart.

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. We love because he first loved us.” 1 John 4:18-19

I’m thankful that everything I’ve been through has not crushed me, has not driven me to despair. I understand that this life I have with Him allows me to move confidently and shine all the brighter to bring others to Him.

“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” 2 Corinthians 4:8-9

I don’t have everything figured out. I grew up and coat-tailed on the faith of my parents and what I was being taught. I didn’t really believe what I was learning because it meant my life was going to be extraordinarily boring. I wanted to party, I wanted to have fun. I think about the story of the prodigal son and how he chased the party and he found himself in the pen with the pigs. While I didn’t find myself in quite that situation the situation I did find myself in was extreme. My rebellion, my selfishness, my need to control and dictate and force solutions brought me to broken surrender. In the shattered pieces a rebuilding began. When I reflect on where 2015 started and where 2015 is ending I am humbled, I am full of gratitude and I am ready to continue to follow wherever God is leading and however it might look, regardless of whatever challenges and obstacles I may face. I know that He is always good, He is always faithful and His word is true.

“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.” Philippians 3:12-16